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Wolf

entry picture

Get out
Go away,
I've been working hard
For too many days.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Not with you there
Herding all my sheep.

Get out
Go away,
My head's so full
And heavy with clay.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Afraid of monsters
That are sure to creep.

Get out
Go away,
I never said
That you could stay.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Could end it all
With just... one... leap...

Back...

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ptsdtrauma

Manipulation

Touch me
Burn me
Hurt me
Break me
Ache me
Caress me
Kiss me
Cuddle me
Feel me
Hit me
Rub me
Taste me
Grope me
...kill me

Backdated 10/8/19

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ptsdtrauma

Passion

Come in
Slide behind
Start our rhythm
Get on your grind
Forget my feelings
I'm losing my mind
Don't need real life
To you I'm blind
Can feel every ache
Wish I could rewind
Know I'll always be hurt
To you, I am confined
Just waiting for the day
To be reassigned

Backdated 10/7/19

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molestationnightmareptsdtrauma

Confusion

Try hard to push through
Try to bring back the new.
But along comes guilt and shame.
But they won't stop playing their game.

Relationship seems at risk
Relationship seems so brisk.
Maybe it's all in my head
Maybe it's already dead.

Intimacy is more than sex
Intimacy's more of a reflex.
But I need to have honesty
But the one closed off is really me.

Trauma stops any progress
Trauma cau...

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SexTrauma

Onus (TRIGGER WARNING)

I know what's coming,
I want to run away.
Maybe a deeper desire,
Always makes me stay.

He slips in behind me
Cuddles and watches TV.
Then he touches me and moves me,
And never once with a plea.

His rhythm begins,
One leg bracing me in.
Leaving his hand down my pants
Grabbing at my skin.

With fury and anger
His force comes to an abrupt halt.
Unsatisfied and unloved,
I'm left shaking,...

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molestationptsdtrauma

What I'm Feeling

The dejection
of disappointment.
The bitterness
from betrayal.
The misery
of mourning.
The sadness
from shattering.
The agony
of anxiety.
The dolor
from depression.
The torture
of trauma.
The heaviness
from heartache.

Backdated 1/10/19

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heartachetrauma

New Sheets (TRIGGER WARNING)

entry picture

The lights dim and a curtain's drawn,
A quiet theater as the show begins.
It's the same reel playing on repeat,
A shattered heartbroken from sin.

He lies next to her as he'd always done,
Reliving his day through adventurous stories.
But something about him had changed that night,
The girl became something he had to seize.

A kiss of the lips catches her off guard,
"I'm sorry" escapes from ...

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MolestationPTSDRapeStepdadTrauma

Burn

I’m not a pyromaniac, but my emotions are like a fire.
Not dealing with past trauma because I don’t have what that would require.
So when I find myself alone and fighting the darkness in my head,
I end up saying so many things I wish were never said.

And as I look around at all the bridges that I’ve burned,
I know that by now, I really should have learned.
And as the smoke clears and my la...

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childhood traumadepressionex friendsfrustrationself harmtrauma

What Does It All Mean?

Live life today,
Like there's no tomorrow,
So forget about the pain,
And embrace the sorrow,
Life is a struggle,
That we all go through,
Searching for deeper meaning,
And contemplating whats true,
Beauty and complexity,
A trip through the divine,
It can't be mere coincidence,
It was done by design,
At first we are taught this is it,
The material is all that's there,
Then what is my p...

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DeathLifeMeaningPurposeSpiritualityTrauma

baggage claim.

The words that come out of my mouth
Sometimes they just fall out
And I can't tell if they really belong to me

Sometimes I hear my voice
Because my mind gives me no choice
But to say all these things I don't really believe

The baggage claim has my name
Written all over it
What a shame I lost the game
Before I had the chance to blow it 

He never felt the need
To check for monsters b...

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divorcefamilygrowing upparentspoemsad poemshort poemtrauma

When Will You Stop?

entry picture

When you crept in me the first time 
Taking my innocence away
Did you hear me begging and pleading for you to STOP...
When you felt that you had enough of me the fifth time when you spat on Me... laughed and walked away... 
Did that make you feel better...
Or when you held me down by a knife threatening you would kill me if I Told a single soul...
When you see the tears flowing down my face....

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hateRapestop itTearstrauma

We Recieve The Love We Think We Deserve

all i really ever wanted was to be loved and appreciated
lord knows i get so low, so i get high and make myself elevated
every day and night i'm always high, yeah i just stay faded
i want a love and type of feel thats so fuckin real there ain't no way to fake it
i want a man who so badly wants to see my soul, and not just see me naked
all these dudes know how to do is use me, there's nothing ...

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coker 2004cruz 2017lovesexual abusetraumawhat you deserveyou are taught the wrong kind of love

Kill'em

I grew up in a world with msn,
When you would get harassed, by older men.
Begfriend with no life,
Cause he wants you to sleep with him tonight.
Fight all the things you ever thought,
Most these guys don't see their day in court.
Outruled by public judgment,
This is your last day, you make us disgusted.
You keep your heart in cement,
There's no way you can say it's consent.
How could you ...

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deathHurtkidstrauma

World's end

Suffocating under the rhythm of your heart beat

Like drowning beneath a sea of thumping marbles.

You are the ball pit, the sand pit, without end – falling!

But who can ever stand when they are - head – over – heels – for someone –

Yes!

And you pulled me in like a rip tide, a whirl wind, a sinking pool,

Wrapped me up like pig in blanket with your tangled hair

And the salt of it...

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apocalypsefearheart breakin lovelovemonumentspassiontraumaworld

THE SPOILS OF WAR

entry picture

And the troops go marching proudly by

as she wipes a tear from her weary eyes,

the one that she seeks, she will never again hold

for he died at his post; he was thirty years old.

 

The colours fly high on a cool autumn breeze

as man and boy march with well practiced ease,

so glad to be home after being so brave,

with flags overhead and not covering their graves.

 

She...

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ironylossPTSDTRAUMAwar poetry

The Template of my Being

Been there

Done it

Eaten it

Drunk it

Almost drowned in it

Nearly died

 

Praised it

Cursed it

Dodged it

Traversed it

Just you name it

I’ll have tried

 

Smoked it

Snorted it

Been traumatised by it

Reduced to tears by it

Laughed and cried

 

Run it

Walked it

Chased it

Caught it

Wished I hadn’t bothered s...

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ambitioncashchasingcryingcursingdrinkdrowndrugsdrunkdyingfailurefeelingsgrabhateheadachehurtimaginationlaughlovenabpraiseraucoussmokingsnortingsongsspiritstrifesuntantaxistearstediumtimetraumatroublewalkingweirdness

The Final Act

 

He seemed to be a worthless bloke—a village ne'er-do-well;
Unkempt and dirty, lived his life alone.
He scrounged around for food scraps, ate the stuff unfit to sell.
A misfit there from whereabouts unknown.
 
And someone called him Jack, although they didn't really know
His history or his background from the past,
And many were annoyed and they just wanted him ...

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HeroismTraumaWar

Pixie / Minnie / Asia

entry picture

It's a very sad day when a Loved one dies

human or animal we all only have one life

so we gotta live it up for the ones that pass

too the fullest on this earth is what I'm aiming at.

So let's up those downs and make the bad more better.

Even if you're feeling like shit or rained on by bad weather

you can overcome the end of this glitch called living

by cooking up you...

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amendscoolfriendshipfrogtownhappyjarvikool 9 livesmattmidwestminnesotaMNtalitypoetryrainreliefremembersadsaint paulsavingSt. Paulsunshinetimetrauma

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