Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    


I’m not a pyromaniac, but my emotions are like a fire.
Not dealing with past trauma because I don’t have what that would require.
So when I find myself alone and fighting the darkness in my head,
I end up saying so many things I wish were never said.

And as I look around at all the bridges that I’ve burned,
I know that by now, I really should have learned.
And as the smoke clears and my lash-outs subside,
I find myself alone again just wishing I would die.

When my emotions take control of me, my friends aren’t the only ones I harm,
I take the tip of my lighter and I burn a “U” right into my arm.
At first it feels Euphoric, like I’m burning away my distress,
But the scars that it leaves behind constantly remind me that I’m a mess.

depressionself harmfrustrationex friendstraumachildhood trauma

Untitled ►


Profile image

Gunnar Payn

Sun 29th Sep 2019 15:03

Thank you for the feedback everyone, Brian, I think you're absolutely right about those lines.

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Sun 29th Sep 2019 14:51

Brian has a fair comment to make about "strict" (or not) rhyme. His
own lines seem well constructed in the context of the poem. I enjoyed the repeat of "ish" in the chosen words to maintain the theme and the rhythm.

<Deleted User> (18980)

Sat 28th Sep 2019 23:30

I personally don't have an issue with with the said rhyme, but if a strict rhyme is needed what about...

And as the smoke clears and my lash-outs diminish
I find myself alone again and wish my life would finish

Profile image

Don Matthews

Sat 28th Sep 2019 23:05

I cannot think of a better description of this than MC's : 'A powerful message of emotional confusion.' As a rhymer I am also jarred by subside/die but the best I can do is dry/die, still not the most satisfactory. Perhaps something needs changing with these two lines as all the others rhyme perfectly....

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Sat 28th Sep 2019 15:57

A powerful message of emotional confusion. The use of rhythm in
the lines appeals to the songwriter in yours truly, although it sometimes goes off-balance along the way. I am a devotee of rhyme
and as such would have sought something to chime with either
subside or die, according to preference. But that's just me! Good one!

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message