For your information; the video below is sung in Yiddish, with English and French subtitles.

In forty-eight, I came into this world,

whose peace, they say, was won at cost immense:

I’m told that I should genuflect and bow,

to those who worship those old gods of war,

yes, I should heed the Christian warriors’ words,

who preach from pulpit and from podium,

and show respect ...

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I don't know where it comes from
This pain I carry in my chest
It’s a weight I don't understand
But I keep going, as if the burden were my truth
There’s something inside me
A desire that gets lost in the shadows
But I insist, I insist
Because, maybe, there’s no other way to be
I looked into the abyss
And the abyss didn’t look back at me
Only the silence echoing within
And I, trying to b...

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It must be time to get up

Any excuse to fill my cup

To get out of this chair

To take in some different air

The mechanisms are tense

Cornea, Iris and the lens

Focused and sharp

Like a razor to a harp

Capturing images, light and perusing

Peering across a radient sunset, percieving or sewing

Better to be absent minded staring into distance

Than screens burni...

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Agitation eats at my chest due to my un-feathered yearning for this person, she cannot begin to think about what she wants other than the bare necessity of breathing.

                Which implores me to wish she didn’t need to breathe, selfishly, so that I can then be an option for her. I'm sure another necessity would take sprout.

I’m not sure who is the root of the problem. A possible s...

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it's a grey morning fog

hazing over the landscape; the person ; love.

it makes distant       .

further away then it really is,

it blurs the lines. 

whispers,, "you are alone "

it's white noise 

hushing the love of the Sun  

drips into the earth between the soft skin of your feet  

makes slippery what you reach for 

An aeonian drab

a monochromatic moan,

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The sky, that cries all night, without a break
The pain in fields turns into sorrow’s song
Ah! Who am I, lost, walking through the ache?
Is it just a dream, or agony so long?

The sea, the waves break strong upon the shore
And I, in vain, seek out a resting place
But winds that drag me leave me evermore
And carry me beyond, with endless pace

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What's happening to me, I don't know what to say

Tears that sting, fall from my eyes every day

My heart wants to do something, but does something else

I try to control it, but it slips away from my grasp

I'm searching for a way to calm my restless mind

But it's hard to find peace when my thoughts are intertwined

My eyes are dry, my heart is heavy

I'm trying to find m...

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Stagnant

Like rainwater sitting out for days,

Attracting flies,

Like moths to a flame.

Serving no meaningful purpose,

So we remain

Unfulfilled—

Nothing’s changed.

Entrapped

In a recurring cycle,

Appearing to be renewed

As more rainwater starts to fall.

But new drops only meet the surface,

Clean merging with the murk below,

Clear streams swallowed by t...

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Can tell
Give me your heart, you lied from the start 
Looked in ya eyes ain what you want 
I can telll James got ya heart 
That’s who you wanted it from the start 
Cut me off, youn wanna talk 
Let me die you could just walk 
Really had the key into my heart 
Why you wanna do me this when I’m soft 
Hurt 
All in my thoughts 
Left me dying, now it’s my fault 
Crying 
Lonely in a empty lo...

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I gave my all into this dhit 

I put everything I had into this bitch 

Just to get chewed up

Left dying,crying, lying in a ditch 

Painful eyes from crying 

Lonely nights, I was dying 

For all the times, I was coming up and could only afford to feed you; and not myself 

This for all the ones I left, even when u couldn’t let me be myself 

I put myself on the shelf just so u co...

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Imagine

Why they have my back on the wall 

When my heart was pure, I loved all yall 

Imagine the one you loved, be the reason you fall 

Imagine putting everybody weight on your shoulder 

And they applaud when u fall 

Imagine being so lonely and broken, with no one to call 

Imagine ...

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For when I was lost

I gazed into you 

Like the flame of a single candle

You lit up the darkness

Kept the beauty of light alive

But as I gazed too long

Your glow began to melt

And then the light went

Not in you, but me

Your soul within mine

The touch not of a burn 

The glint not of a flame

But the sleek of a mirror 

I can see in this d...

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Your feelings for me were beyond what you lead on

Did us talking regularly 

Soften your heart unexpectedly?

Unknown to me but very known to you 

It came to the point where “love you” became “I love you” 

Slight change to our goodnights 

Nothing to overthink 

We’re friends right? 

You got “busier”

Our talks lessened 

I still see you partying though 

I’m confused 

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In the hole of the common, fear runs deep,
where the voice of the many stirs us from sleep.
Dress the same, speak without spark,
act like the crowd, it's mediocrity's mark.

Alienated souls, proud in their space,
yet some feel the pull and yearn to escape.
Clarity’s a pain, like islands alone,
different in values, they stand out, unknown.

Children are innocent, while the old face disdai...

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I left everything, and made you my everything. Just for you to stab me in the back. Down on my lowest you left. I thought you had my best interest, instead you squeezed my heart to death. And instead of giving it back you left my heart on the shelf. Haven’t let me seen taeden, you got him thinking I left him by himself.  Left me for dead, I was sleeping in the car by myself. Cold and lonely, I did...

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Ah, to suffer,
is not just an invisible burden
that we drag through the streets of life.
It is the mark, the scar,
of existence that shapes us.

To suffer is the pain
that teaches us to see the world
with weary eyes,
where reality is not a straight line
but a labyrinth of thorns and hopes.

In the deep silence of the night,
where the moon whispers secrets of pain,
we find the echo of...

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Tired, neutered and flat

Drowsy, battered and crap

Scatered, ears ringing and wondering

where did my weekend go?

Gigged out

Spat out and hurt

Load-in, set up in dirt

Sound checked, rain and disturbed

Darkness, smokey and curt

Irritable, sweaty of course

Days lost to the night

Hungry, beyond "alright?"

Midnight arrives

Still loading out in drove...

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When will it go away?

The pain in my chest

Pain in my stomach

Pain. 

It’s repetitive and never stops

It creeps up on me like bugs

Stings like a wasp

Bites like a mosquito

And leaves, taking a small part of me

Some say it’s a part of life 

Maybe I don’t want that

If this is life 

Maybe I don’t want any p...

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Delusion. 

When delusion wears of

and finally 

you see

what u didn’t want to

for so long 

that this person

isn’t the person 

saving you 

loving you 

the only person 

able to do that 

is you 

babe.

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My first time. 

It wasn’t special.

It was okay. 

That’s what I’m saying

everytime 

someone asks me.

I don’t want to say it 

it took me too long 

too long 

to realize.

You are the evil

your are the the beginning 

of me 

not feeling.

You raped me. 

I was young 

too young.

You were older 

but this 

this wasn’t very mature of you.

Not very de...

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If we could rewind the clock
Would you be different 
So that I could know how it feels
To feel the love of a Father

Maybe I could run into your arms
Instead of away from your fists 
You could be my hero 
Instead of the nightmare that persists

Left with questions I cannot answer 
What version of me were you after 

You never liked my face
So neither did I 
I look in the mirror
And...

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You talk about the past as it defines you
I hope one day you look past the pain and trama
For there is a gift inside you
For the world to see
Your kind and caring personality

You are not a prisoner of your past
Your prison cell has always been open
It time for you to walk on through
And let the world in and all it has to offers you

Nothing is ever broken or beyond repair
It takes tim...

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Walking around an empty hospital

Hearing voices, standing still

It's a strange feeling

Knowing there's no one on these grounds

Empty beds are blocking

As painful feelings are unlocking

Buried away in their homes

Scarred, anxious and alone

Yet the voices are protruding

Rebounding and allusive

Screams of fun and play come across

From another world now at a ...

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Have you ever stopped to ask why do I run

Ironically its only when you stop the mind runs wild

We run to be fit

We run to be social

We run to be healthy

But is it always healthy to run

I run for a different life I cannot have

I run Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday

My love runs Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday

I started so I could support her

To let her know I was with her eve...

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Three dots bounce with so much meaning

She is still there

We are connected once again 

The light is green 

For a moment we are back

But as quick as it comes it must go

Holding onto the green till the last moment

But must it go

Are the dots a pause

Till we are ready to reconnect

Are the dots hiding the sinister end

Or are the dots hiding the life we could have

Th...

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I am a son of the heavens. 

I do not fall,

I can only fly.

The way the wind whispers

determines my path.

It has never once led me astray.

A gentle breeze ruffles my feathers,

while the sun's bright smile warms my face.

Clouds dance above my weightless form,

forming all kinds of shapes to entertain.

The world turns as do I.

Leaping carelessly through the endless sky...

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I pick your face out from the crowd 

And you're all I can see 

As we pretend to be strangers 

I waited the one hour train journey 

Hoping you would join me

But you never did 

We remained separated by a single carriage 

Little did I know you had far more in your arsenal to separate us

A Trident like deterrent 

How did it come to this?

Well actually I do know the answer...

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It's 10.30 in the morning and I'm throwing up on the bathroom floor
Having drowned the person who I was before
All the drinking, drugging, lying, spending
Arriving very early for the doom impending

How did I get here, how did I lose control?
Waking up in fear and pain, drawing my first shot at 4
To stop the shakes and silence the anxiety
Once again becoming a liability in my society

Wh...

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Walk the wight

With all your might

through sights similar to Honiton

which isn't too unlike Hobbiton

Names and faces are carried through an aching 33 miles

With care and thought all the while

Here we reflect and remember

the lost souls of our dark Decembers

We start off four in our fellowship

With hopes of seeing off our hardship

To cross a finish line is ou...

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Maybe not the healthiest thing 

But the healthiest I ever had

Such a prince charming you seemed, with

 your white van for a steed. Full of recovery 

stories and what seemed like integrity.  

Not perfect for sure, an anger problem and unnaturally, unwarranted high self esteem. Yet still better, more together and healthier 

than I had ever been.

So many nuggets of...

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i'm sick of doing the best i can
because it isn't ever enough
if I can't be good,
what's the point of being here at all?

I never sleep well anymore
even though I tell the doctors I sleep fine
I just stare at the ceiling
and live through the lives of others

sit in class with an ache behind my eyes
I can't even tell if the pain is real
excedrin can only do so much
and I think my toler...

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We sit across from eachother

Our hands clasped tightly over the table

And in this moment we have everything

And yet we have nothing at the same time

Eyes locked on our targets 

I can see your soul 

It's calling me like a beacon 

And I feel awoken 

We lean in closer to this moment 

Feeding off the energy like vultures to flesh 

I could drown in those blue eyes

If I ...

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Feelings we cannot ignore.. 
Insecurity and jealousy 
prying open the door 
we had closed so tightly

When we had agreed 
not to take things so seriously
The intensity overwhelms me 
Lets just be friends and see..

"maybe its possilble
its impossible
let's just try
please don't cry 
I am yours, commited don't you see
I don't belong to you,
nor you to me 
but don't get it confuse...

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Your presence in my life was a gift 
for you showed me what I had missed 
The deepest emotions, you showed me they exist 

A love so deep is a beautiful curse 
for the harder you love 
the deeper it hurts

So now I find myself in agony 
Learning to live with missing what once was 
As well as never knowing what could've been. 

Robyn Holmes 
scribbles of a broken heart 

 

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Watching the leaves fall

Standing so tall

Waiting at the window

I still wonder

It wasn't long ago

I can still see us

Haunting shadows in the dusk

Running, fighting, climbing

Making footprints in the snow

Your furry figure lingers at the edges of my mind

Gone but not forgotten

Your smile runs to hide

Sunny days fade away

As your ghost lies still

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Every time you ask me a question I nod my head,

I’d rather be lying than dead.

“Do you believe in god, are your priorities straight?”

Stop treating me like I’m eight.

Every time you say “I love you” Is it really true?

Or am I dreaming of normal parents,

A better version of you.

The yelling is constant and won’t stop.

All the daggers you stabbed me with are sharp.

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In a world of plenty, where joy should reign,

A soul wanders lost, drowning in pain.

He has it all, or so it seems,

Yet inside, he's adrift in shattered dreams.

Possessions many, but feelings in drought,

Tears concealed, smiles worn throughout.

Once in a while, breaks down unseen, 

In the quiet ache, where joy's been.

Everything's there, yet nothing to hold,

A ...

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It reaches further than "please fuck me" or "don’t touch me"

It’s a liminal in-between 

A line we like to call blurry

But I never asked you to undress me

My body abandoned me

My words went slurry

Tongue too thick to go beyond a mumble

Kind sir escorted me to save me from stumble

Four times play on my mind

One of them I even forgot

Until it accosted me during a usual d...

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For me, 

Please,

Stop cutting.

I said.

A broken record.

Only now,

As she lays in the grave,

Six feet under.

I wonder

if things would have changed,

If I just once asked her to

Stop cutting,

Please,

For you. 

Would it have made a difference, though?

The reason to cut or not remains 

the same, either way.

Nothing can change that here

She...

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I wrestled you down

Girl

Into woman

I grew your thoughts for you

Lifeless of the party

Monotone 

You vacuum expression

And drain me,

Exhausted

Stop

I gave you emotions

Give me energy

Any kind just give

Give and give 

I must drink

Always thirsty am I

But I drink for you

So what’s this lull in your throat

Dip in your tone

Crack? 

No

You ...

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If only I could go back in time

To rectify all my mistakes.

All that I shouldn’t have said,

Yet still felt the need to say.

Why did I even feel that need?

I, too, was just a child, right?

Be the example,

Show them they are wrong.

Show them we are no beasts.

Show them we can be equal.

Act mature,

Be mature.

Show them they are wrong.

So many rules and rest...

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Anger curls its tendrils around me,

it envelopes me whole,

strokes me tenderly.

It forms an impenetrable wall,

a shield of sorts,

to keeps me safe and sound.

It takes all those blows

and hits for me,

protects me from my foes.

Rage filled screams,

cover the sound of falling tears.

Sadness sits beside me,

gently wipes my sea.

Anger extinguishes my fear,

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At age three 

I dreamed.

Of lands full of sweets.

Of an endless coloured street,

stretched as far as I could see.

I dreamed of my toys,

that entertained me with their noise.

I dreamed of everything and more.

I dreamed.

At age ten,

I heard.

About wondrous lands that decorated the earth.

Of all the plants and birds,

our Mother gave birth to.

I heard abo...

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The devil has always been,

A faceless entity

To me.

Until now at least.

Now it has become clear.

I can see.

The devil

In front of me.

They are no singular person.

Instead a pair.

Familiar sight.

Lungs devoid of air.

The devils gaze at me.

Recognizable set eyes.

No surprise.

Why is this reality?

First sight of a child.

Encounter...

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Grief casts complex shadows
over the wilting body
You feel the fingers grasping
as sirens rise again
This fatalistic ritual
an energy made negative
and stomach knotted up
by such unhelpful thoughts

Pain rips at your sails
thunderous and wild
is it the body breaking down
a message poorly translated
The shrieking of absence
cuts deep into the gut
those hands twist and grip
the cycle...

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I used to utter your name delicately 

like it was poetry.

Just as how perfume lingers on a person,

The sweet smell of cherry blossoms 

accompanied your name 

whenever it walked out my mouth.

But now all it leaves,

Is a taste so foul.

Your love was like alcohol to me,

It left me feeling euphoric at first,

But after the effect had worn out,

All I was left with w...

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I pick up the shards of glass 

that are scattered on the ground.

I marvel at them in wonderment,

how beautiful it once was.

Still, it'll serve a good cause.

Such a pity, 

won't you applaud?

This is the end of the show,

Don't you hear the crows?

Toss your roses

Or will you wait till my eyes are closed?

Pour the alcohol,

Let the bubbles float to the surface.

Dr...

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A delicate touch on my skin.

How long has it been

since someone softly caressed me?

A touch so unknown,

yet Comfort finds their home.

As you trace the ink on my skin,

your eyes rake down my body,

drinking all of me in,

as if you have not drunk a drop of water 

for as long as you’ve been.

Your fingers on me,

feel like the first sunbeams that grace a leaf,

after a...

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I will hurt you,

Just as you will hurt me.

Isn't that beautiful?

To hurt

And be hurt.

To love

And be loved.

Isn't loving someone,

Sentencing yourself to pain?

Then, why pray,

Do all still love?

To hurt and be hurt,

Is to love and be loved.

I long for you to hurt me,

So I don't doubt my love for you.

I long for me to hurt you,

So I don't doubt your lo...

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