Poetry Blog by Xandaria
Paul Sayer on The Living Room -A deep sea affair- (Please don’t drown) (Fri, 29 May 2020 05:07 pm)
Paul Sayer on The Living Room -A deep sea affair- (Please don’t drown) (Fri, 29 May 2020 04:51 pm)
It has been two years today
Since I have had a fight with my then girlfriend
And, crying bitterly, I entered the living room
Replied to my father’s concerns
And let him know his daughter was dating a girl.
No wonder he hasn’t spoken to me since.
But, this poem isn’t about me
And nor is it about a cousin sister of mine
Whose phone was found in the living room
Full with smuts and gay storie...
Friday 29th May 2020 2:06 pm
I could fill the oceans with the tears I've cried
Or cover the entire earth with blankets of failed tries.
Countless times what I thought was truth became a lie.
Everything is falling apart, and I'm sick of asking why.
It gets so bad, to the point where I just want to die,
But all of this is nothing compared to the pain of goodbye.
What's the point of believing if you could never fly?
Tuesday 15th January 2019 8:27 am
Unwanted emotions tumble and groan crashing through my mind unwelcome
As I sit forlorn, an empty shell of my previous beautiful self
What was once a blessing is now a curse
Something that hurts with an unreversible pain
As I'm fading, giving in to the dark night
A voice, soft and steady breaks the silence
A flutter flows through my stomach and my heart beats almost to the point ...
Tuesday 15th January 2019 8:26 am
I find myself yawning again and again,
But I can't sleep, which is a real pain.
I lie on my left side, then on my right,
But, for me, there is no sleep in sight.
Next, I turn and lie flat on my back,
But, of any sleep, there is still a lack.
I lie there, looking up at the ceiling:
Pretty drained, is how I am feeling.
I wish my system would just slow down,
But, through my mind, th...
Tuesday 15th January 2019 8:24 am
It's hard when you're always lying,
Always hiding the way you feel.
Losing your sight on truthful words,
Forgetting what is real.
It's hard when you forget to laugh
And you're scared that someone might see.
Hoping no one saw your face,
As you struggle to remember how to breathe.
It's hard to pretend you're happy,
And you're terrified someone might ask.
It's becoming harder every day;
Friday 17th August 2018 8:40 am
It calls me closer, its calls me near
"Just once and it'll be over"
Death whispers in my ear
Irresistible is its sweet entice
Staring down, which one to slice,
I observe my previous tries
My unseen hurt and earlier cries
No peace in my mind, no peace in my head
The quiet intelligent me, long since fled
Anger and rage consumes me
My minds demons bursting to be free
The walls o...
Tuesday 7th August 2018 9:23 pm
Have you noticed how I’m chewing gum again?
How apples have become my favourite food again?
That I can’t sit down because of the bruises again?
How I replace meals with jogging or writing or playing again?
Have you noticed that I’m drinking coffee again?
Have you noticed me?
I want someone to notice me.
Will you notice me again?
The water is starting to hurt again.
Tuesday 7th August 2018 11:04 am
Since this is the way it's going to be,
I'll sum it all up with poetry...
Where do I even start explaining the way I feel?
I just keep telling myself: this can't be happening, this isn't real.
In my heart it seems there is a sudden void.
You built me up, only to break me down; now everything appears destroyed.
My life's orbit has suddenly stopped- where do I go from here?
Wednesday 27th June 2018 4:42 pm
When you crept in me the first time
Taking my innocence away
Did you hear me begging and pleading for you to STOP...
When you felt that you had enough of me the fifth time when you spat on Me... laughed and walked away...
Did that make you feel better...
Or when you held me down by a knife threatening you would kill me if I Told a single soul...
When you see the tears flowing down my face....
Monday 18th June 2018 4:18 am
Drown my cries with your silent screams,
Push my fears away with your shaking hands.
Listen to me with your deafened ears,
Nod and pretend to actually understand.
Hold me down while I continue to fly,
Look at me through your blinded eyes.
Pretend to see the person you want to,
And tell the truth through your broken lies.
Smile at me through your bleeding tears,
Push me down as you catch ...
Sunday 17th June 2018 7:54 am
She cried out for help but no one came,
Once again they ignored her cry.
And now thanks to their deafened ears,
She took her life and choose to die.
She was never really heard or seen,
And still not one person cared.
No one though it would end this way,
No one thought that she would dare.
When they heard this girl was dead,
They all search for a face.
But they find is an empty seat,
Saturday 16th June 2018 8:25 am