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The Denial of an Ageing Disgrace
Where's the fucking rizlas man?
I just need a fucking smoke
to take the edge of
starting with just one almighty toke
this week's been shit. I have to say
today's been much the same
let's smoke 'til I can't see her face
and can't recall their names
she said that I'm an addict yeah
what does she fucking know?
A few pills every weekend
and a little bit of blow
a spliff for breakfast every...
Thursday 23rd August 2018 9:34 pm
Painkiller
Painkiller
This world is brutal in its bitter way,
destroying beauty, tarnishing the good,
Hurting the carers, harming those who would
do better with their lives each passing day -
those who, despite all that the doctors say,
take back some control – if only they could
get up from where they drown beneath the flood
of good intentions. So today I pray:
when you’re hu...
Thursday 26th April 2018 4:33 pm
“rich ass junkie”
hotels steady hoppin, pills steady poppin, needles leave them arms throbbin, cant get no job so you have to stay robbin, sayin you bout it but aint doin shit but talkin, say you shakin shit but ain’t nothin round here rockin
Tuesday 17th April 2018 10:38 am
Drugs Took the "You", Right Outta You...
there's nothing harder to do, than to forget someone you once knew.. someone you loved, and once upon a time, they loved you too.. drugs took that light from your eyes baby - and yeah, sadly they took you too.. constantly chasing that high, hardy able to even get by.. i'd always ask myself why, why does he have to fucking lie? why do you want yourself to die?? why can't you at least fucking try, b...
Sunday 11th March 2018 2:20 am
you can save me because you love me
Nobody understands me but me
seems like nobody can stand me, but me...
until I had you there standing next to me
Thought your love was enough to set me free
but then you found out loving me wasn't free
Loving me was rough, and never easy...
but my love for you was never tough,
it always came easy...
You're the only one who really cares,
who really sees me...
...Saturday 10th March 2018 8:00 am
Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #49 (Doobie-Doobie)
Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #49 (Doobie-Doobie)
(Doobie-Doobie)
When the doobie-doobie drugs don't work any more girl you are just a fool if you think love don't hurt because hot damn it does that's why one more blow to sniff until I cannot breathe
And when the doobie-doobie-doobie don't work any more as one more sniff and one more puff and popping one more pill until...
Thursday 8th February 2018 9:24 pm
A Conversation with Cocaine.
I am the warm arms of a mother
That sweep you up
And carry you away from this pain.
That smother you in happiness
Absent parents couldn’t provide.
You’ll drift for a while.
Then with the flicker of a lid
You’ll slide into clouds of
Sweet perfumed dreams.
Just a child of 15.
Floating from job to job.
Hour to hour.
A withering flower
Blossomed for drought.
Let it happen.
Shut ...
Friday 24th November 2017 5:35 pm
Let Not Distraction Keep You!
Let not distraction keep you!
When The Drama of the perfume Fades
The Tossing Tousled hair parades
Settle in a lazy muse and the moon no longer lingers,
When the mystery seems tired as the night turns day,
The conversation feels hired as the wine wears away,
When reality strings together like a cellists’ tune,
Awaking your longing for a richer room
Be the see...
Saturday 20th May 2017 10:21 am
One Day!
One day I'll meet you In that place!!
I don't take drugs
I tried a couple times
So I can tell you what it feels like
I don't drink
Probably all the sips I've ever had
Could amount to 2 glasses of white wine and those sambuca shots when I was 17yrs old!
I love dancing
I don't seem to do it much
But I love moving
That I do everyday with Yoga
I love fashion and...
Saturday 20th May 2017 12:45 am
Modesty
relax,
now start breathing,
everything around is around for the same reason.
Catastrophe, catastrophe its all the same feeling
i'm too old to move on, i'm too old to keep dreaming.
When to move on is to grow and to grow is not leaving,
in a promise land we grow, and speak of the same reason
we speak of heaven and hell like they're not the same demon.
Well to move...
Monday 15th May 2017 3:45 am
Drift
Drugs,
self sabotage,
black of night
takes all light.
It snows in wonderland.
I lost my way,
drifted amiss.
The ego took control.
Hope floats,
a distant mess,
somehow less,
never more.
Restart,
begin again,
start anew.
In your view,
my sun shines blue.
©JMCole
Thursday 2nd March 2017 4:10 pm
To The Addicts Of The World
To The Addicts Of The World
Cunning baffling and powerful are the words used to describe,
The truth of what addiction is, it will take your life with a knife.
Everything you thought you were becomes lost,
All that you cherish and love, gone at what cost?
Millions of people struggle everyday and it's truly tough,
Knowing that one is too many and a thousand never enough.
Pot, heroin, me...
Monday 27th February 2017 9:50 am
The hardest part
Have you ever tried to kill yourself by holding your breath?
No one's ever died from a lack of sleep...
(I dare you not to try it)
The hardest part of forgetting is when you remember.
Double check yourself, and down it goes.
Get ready, hold on, and jump out of the plane!
Hear the rush, gasp for breath, and let those bells ring.
Jump on that train, follow those tracks.
It's too much (but ...
Sunday 26th February 2017 8:43 pm
Poppy
A while ago, before I retired, I was concerned for the welfare of my students on reading a piece discussing the alleged widespread use of the psycho-stimulant Retalin by Australian university undergraduates. As a performance enhancer it was said to often be accompanied by depressants to reverse the effects. For some, it may have served as an introduction to more addictive and even more pernicious ...
Friday 27th January 2017 12:41 pm
Dust
There's no such thing
as crazy is not sickness.
Conformity is suffocation.
The pills kill the light,
all else turns to dust
and in the rain we all rust.
Lift it up,
sweep it under,
show the sun,
no shame, no thunder.
God forbid
the rain should come.
Can't waste time
feeling the pain
pick a box, pick a box
they're all the same.
Grey.
©JMCole
Saturday 21st January 2017 10:49 am
Hit and Miss
Contradiction is inevitable.
Perspective relative.
Monotony is life.
Amnesia saves
drugs,
a selfish freedom from the past.
White open spaces,
existence and impermanence.
Meaninglessness.
The great abandonment,
a tragedy,
the greatest agony,
random nostalgia.
Simplicity,
blue open skies, open arms,
open mind over mind
over matter mad as a hatter
no matter the weather,
I don’t ...
Monday 7th November 2016 2:57 pm
I Lost
Lost my way in the sun,
got lost in my oblivion,
wandered through the maze
inside my brain
found my way
back again.
I broke the wires
back there,
hollow,
low
but I make them pure,
free
gold like a river
I flow.
I let it go,
my hope
floats.
My yellow brick road
will take me home
to the silver blue,
my pure, my sweet,
my golden fire moon.
I fell in lust,
the ego owned ...
Saturday 8th October 2016 12:08 pm
LOVE DRUG
At first love was a pump, a needle,
Eyes wide when your high
...Or see someone you like.
Stifled, we always rivalled
Till no more, the beat became sore
And we spiralled, overdosed,
Hot headed, cold blooded.
Passion became blown out,
The anticlimax of a candle...
Like the heroin ran through her heart,
Like the cocaine contorted her chest,
Like the salvia had shaken ...
Tuesday 20th September 2016 5:18 pm
Light vs Dark
It's all a trap,
You say just one drink, won't hurt right?
Just one line, I won't do it again.
Just once , I want to try the needle to see what the big fuss is about...
I'll just kiss you once , like you won't break my heart.
Just to flirt with death and heartbreak seems to be an addication itself.
Flirtation, the most innocent form of doing something that will lead to something...
Thursday 21st April 2016 7:40 am
These Streets
I was born here, under Maggie's rule.
Living beneath her Spitting Image character
hanging from a telecom wire overhead.
The youth here knew hate before they knew love
and everybody hated the Iron Lady.
Everything here was grey; from the rows of well-worn
tenements and dirt-strewn streets to the sunken eyes
of every battered wife.
Violence was rife, accepted as normality.
A messed up reali...
Tuesday 12th April 2016 11:07 am
I'd like you to like me
I'd like you to like me
and I'd like you to know,
Id doesn't like me and Superego doesn't know where to go.
I've planned a trip to where the tulips grow -
find a vein, push a plunger, let the psychotropes flow.
I know you don't like me
and we've nowhere to go.
Ego doesn't know what to do and Id has hate to sow.
I'd like you to, I'd like to oblige you to throw
away m...
Monday 11th April 2016 2:32 pm
The stranger on her neck
Can you see the track marks up her arms?
I spy
With my wide eye
The stranger upon her neck.
Like the birthmark of a bloodhound,
Like a grisly flesh pinch,
An angrily sealed wound,
A Chinese burn,
A beating burning bruise,
A bloody blush:
The bite of the hungry.
Teeth she counted like cash,
The molars which paid her fine
And got her Alice's very own wonder
-ful escape...
...Monday 22nd February 2016 9:13 pm
Anaesthetic Substitute
Drugs. Addiction –
back by popular demand.
A way to end the boredom,
spoil another day.
Broke. Aflliction,
living second hand.
Last two quid for the ‘leccy' box
in a load of rusty change.
No! Distinction,
frustrated as one can.
Can’t entertain all the time
and have constructive ideas.
Beliefs. Predictions,
all letters in the sand.
Want to know the futu...
Monday 18th January 2016 4:02 pm
DEALS ON WHEELS
Scheming, thieving, scumbag bum
Smack head, crack head, someone’s son
A knife, a life, a dealer’s gun
Only mugs do drugs and call it fun
There’s ‘H’, 'Meow' and rocks of 'Crack'
There’s ‘E’s and ‘Speed’ and ‘Blow’
There’s ‘Browns’ and ‘Blues’, a bag of ‘Smack’
So cool and good to go
Come get your fix, it’s such a must
Steal the money from your Mum
Your Dad’s...
Monday 9th November 2015 9:23 pm
Morphine
All the faith carried in your soul
all the morphine lightening the load
they play a strange sad game
they lie in bleak dark ways
I listened to the doctor speak
while you read some ancient tome
and, yes, you know your body well
but pain isn’t the cause
This belief takes its small toll
the colour and the hope both drain away
defeatedly you feel you’re fading
But you’re not fading
y...
Wednesday 26th August 2015 5:39 pm
HOLLOW HALLS
She drags tired heels
across a tainted floor,
poise slightly bowed
and her back is sore.
She holds on her face
a cold marble stare,
a hard life engraved
upon cheeks once so fair.
Her faulting movements,
once graceful; divine,
her aching limbs now
with guile, defy
her final performance
on this dark empty stage,
memories fleeting
of a much better age...
Sunday 28th June 2015 9:36 am
untitled
Anarchy runs through my bones, A sanctuary, a mind set in stone, No worth in a life without purpose, Enough people around me trying to surplus, Without reason or must. Society isn't run from home, We're fed a diet of lies and bad omens, A curfew on our personal time, Cursing those who brave past the line, Fucking with your mind. Sobriety is harshly overrated, When the priority is to...
Saturday 2nd May 2015 6:16 am
He Inhales
He inhales,
Yet again he finds himself feeling six feet under,
covered by life bearing soil
The life in which he ponders how he missed.
He inhales,
This time,
His sorrow and self loathing are lifted away
Into the clouds
This is where they remain
For a time that seems ever too short.
He inhales,
Hoping to never return
To his sad reality.
He can't escape.
...
Sunday 29th March 2015 12:09 am
I Saw You
I saw you~
In colors of vibrant gold
Glowing from your pores
Seeping into my heart
I saw you~
Your eyes held the ocean
Seas of blue and fresh air
Breeze through my senses
Sweeping me away
I saw you~
As you laughed
Your voice rang in vibrations
Which traveled through my body
And shook my core
I saw you - as you saw my soul
My being , my whole - It was t...
Friday 9th January 2015 10:43 pm
Addiction
She's snapped all her needles and sits cold and alone
Rocking and sweating, her eyes fixed on the phone
A decision to make; which person to call?
Knowing either way, this'll be the end of it all.
Should she ring home to her mam and dad
And return to the life that she once had?
Be drawn back into the family's loving embrace
Standing at their door with no shoes or suitcase
...Tuesday 7th October 2014 2:44 pm
The Long Night That Lies Ahead
Wednesday 25th June 2014 11:44 pm
Roadie
Roadie.
When heavy metal bands reform
it’s nothing like it was in the day,
when daily excess was the norm
and we needed drugs to help us play.
From riding into the teeth of the storm
we had to curtail our wicked ways.
The Roadies still get us up to speed,
tune guitars - get everything we need.
They’re an invaluable, yet dying breed -
Roadies still get us up to speed.
Even though w...
Friday 20th June 2014 7:49 pm
The Template of my Being
Been there
Done it
Eaten it
Drunk it
Almost drowned in it
Nearly died
Praised it
Cursed it
Dodged it
Traversed it
Just you name it
I’ll have tried
Smoked it
Snorted it
Been traumatised by it
Reduced to tears by it
Laughed and cried
Run it
Walked it
Chased it
Caught it
Wished I hadn’t bothered s...
Monday 24th June 2013 4:00 pm
Birthday Blues
We close our eyes gently and slowly
Wait for the narcotic niceties to be over
“Isn't it nice to just relax?” you say
“Hmmmm” I agree, letting my thoughts become dreamy
My birthday is over and it's time to release the stress
It has taken so long
Doubling up the pretence puts pressure on the present
Downstairs you carry out the Birthday autopsy
...
Thursday 16th May 2013 6:20 pm
The Addict
It’s only one more
What harm will it do?
If you really loved me like I do with you
Then you’d let me just have it, no fussing or fighting,
Not sitting here giving me daggers, me lightning
And watching me suffer; I’ll make this the last,
I promise from this day forward I’ll fast
I’ll become a new man; just you wait and see,
But for now will you not be a bastard to me
And just h...
Wednesday 8th May 2013 11:12 am
Tungsten
https://haydenwritesthings.wordpress.com/2013/04/01/tungsten-poem/
I hope everyone is doing well! I haven't been around much - just moved into a new place and got a new job, I should be around more often soon!
Tungsten
Swaying like a bus
in mid-town traffic
I topple the streets,
fade the pavements
under feet that feel
like cliffs collapsing
into puddles, a thousand
fos...
Tuesday 2nd April 2013 12:00 am
In for me.
In for me, in for me, they’ve all got it in for me,
Paranoia in the brain in its infancy,
Brilliantly mobility impaired but only artificially,
Additionally, my imagery is blissfully in symmetry,
Vividly and visually, auditory tripping differently,
I hear a symphony from my state of captivity,
Dismally waiting to hand over my dignity,
Efficiently falling but I’m...
Saturday 22nd December 2012 5:49 pm
I'm from a land where
I'm from a land where,
Two girls on the bus to school is revolutionary,
Where we bury boxes full of our still born children,
'Cos experimental biological weapons more or less killed them.
Plus the starvation, and working on the opium plantation,
Whilst Halibuton gets paid to rebuild my nation,
MPs with hidden interests plan my leader's assasination.
From London to Lo...
Sunday 4th November 2012 5:34 pm
Despair
In her despair
she cowers and
covers her face.
No longer can she
battle the demons
that invade her
mind and space.
The drugs she takes
to self medicate.
The many men she
sleeps with, the
loathing and self hate.
Will she take her
life by her own
hand? Or will she
...Wednesday 19th September 2012 4:49 pm
Too Bad the World Doesn't Revolve Around Me?
So...What is it today ?
Who's next?
Will you accept me or reject me?
Nobody truly wants me for the form of existence that I am
I know I am not perfect
I have feelings
How does one live without these things?
Is it wrong for me to want what I cannot have?
I am only human
I am probably so human that I allow my own vulnerabilities transform me into an abomination
...Sunday 20th May 2012 4:11 am
Kids With Drugs-2
Kids with drugs,
it's like their
being ripped apart
by blades of a knife.
They slowly die
from their wounds.
Their souls drain
like blood from
torn vessels.
Their lives end.
Maybe not today
maybe not tomorrow,
but they eventually do.
Do we even try
to make it stop?
Just ...
Saturday 28th April 2012 6:07 pm
Kids With Drugs
Kids with drugs
being ripped apart
by blades of a knife.
Their lives end.
Do we even try
to make it stop?
Just getting by
each day,
have we lost sight?
Wednesday 4th April 2012 5:06 pm
TAKE A PILL
TAKE A PILL
Pills, pills, pills – that’s what I need ’cause I feel like shit,
it’s been one of those fuckin’ dull nowhere days
that go round in circles like a crippled ship.
Take a pill for my allergy, pop an acid to go on a trip
it’s an experiment in my head.
Feel a headache coming on so I grab some parries and a couple of E’s to feel happy.
Now an hour ...
Thursday 1st December 2011 4:36 pm
DRUGS COME FROM A PLANT
The following originates from a piece of scurrilous libel carefully scrawled on a docklands
wall in 1960's east London.
..................................................................................................................................................
Excuse me, son, the sergeant said, we'd like to have a word
About some information the lads and I have heard.
...
Sunday 20th November 2011 3:04 pm
PASSENGERS OF LIFE
PASSENGERS OF LIFE
You’re a passenger of life livin’ out your remainin’ days on borrowed time.
You stick two fingers up to the world, life for you is not an oasis but it’s a charred blackened shell.
You steal from anyone to feed your dirty habit, as you slowly deteriorate in your own little hell.
When they find you dead in your bath, a load of needles by your side, w...
Sunday 2nd October 2011 1:18 pm
Summer of Love
a flashback
sun splattering us in technicolour,
stained with light
cheekbones aching,
currents thrumming
migraine hue at the edges
hearts beat faster
minds and eyes pinpoint
to infinite acuity
heads swell with
chests strain from
and laugh
Steps slapping
rhyming
heads back and
smiling.
Tuesday 29th March 2011 1:13 pm
Stoner Laments
Tuesday 23rd November 2010 4:24 pm
By & By
Friday 15th October 2010 4:46 am
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