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The Way She Used To Be

You think you know her but you don't

You see just what she wants you to see

I'm the only one who got through to her

Who knows quite how she used to be

 

The way she used to be was so beautiful

Kind and caring and wide open to ideas

Not the cracked empty vessel she became

A sad broken woman in thrall to her fears

 

We met in New York when life was young

It was at a ...

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drugsgreenwich villagethe way she used to betin pan alley

Fever

FEVER

 

There is something in the corner of my room.      

                                                                                                                                                                               I squint to see it in the darkness.

A little boy is sitting on the floor,

Playing with a deck of cards.

I sit up and stare at him.

He sees me and...

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Drugsfeverhallucinationssickness

disordered personality (i'm always acting)

what to do

if your actions

stem from external

reaction

 

what to do 

when they aren't watching

 

how do full-time actors switch on and off like that?

 

how do they resign?

they don't. 

either they quit and get spat on,

or shoot up their veins and go off the rails.

 

i have some thinking to do...

 

,

 

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actingdisassociationdrugsidentityManiaPersonality

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