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addiction (Remove filter)

All That Will Remain

Always searching for the next good time

and what the world can bring.

Always looking for the next big deal

and what it’s offering.

 

Never thinking very far ahead

or worrying about the cost.

Never wanting much to understand

or caring what gets lost.

 

Always thinking I don’t need to change,

believing that I’m fine.

Always doing what I want to do

and taking ...

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Addictionpridetrapped

The Eye Of The Storm

Once crashed the waves in tempest’s storm,

and blew the wind as sails were torn.

Once drove the rain against frozen skin

as darkness took the vessel in.

 

Once void of any hope at all,

trapped deep inside the prison’s wall,

beneath the crushing weight of lead

but faintest light shown from ahead.

 

Then in a moment, skies were clear

and ocean’s calm dispelled the fe...

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addictionrelapseaddict falling

Relapse

The state of the worse. The state of the damned.

Is this the sad state where I find that I am?

 

The evil inside me who long dwelt therein,

I’d given him home for he felt like a friend.

 

But then cast I did he out of necessity

to walk in dry places, where rest he did seek.

 

And while he did roam, I set forth alone

acting quickly to sweep and to garnish my home.

 

...

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addictionrelapse

Dry relapse with no high(through the eyes of another)

I'm not a soldier but I'm at war

Clean and sober year number four 

Battles with temptation 

Past friends and relations 

Conflict miscommunication 

I get tired of waiting I'm tryna be patient 

Testing my patience 

What's expected of me isn't me 

No point trying to change me you see 

That change must only come from me 

People are not what they seem 

Reality looks dif...

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Recoveryaddictionalchaholismdrugabusemental healthmental warmental battle

At The Ledge

Each time before when I had fallen, landing in the pit below,

I found upon the ground were words that I could gather up to build

a latticework of scaffolding to climb upon so I could go

back to the surface with the crowd, but every time I found that still

 

I’d stay close to the ledge not knowing why I didn’t walk away.

I told myself it wasn’t wise. I asked, “why don’t you ever l...

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addictionrelapserecoverymoving onovercoming

At The Door

Curled up in the corner

in dead of the night.

Afraid of darkness

and praying for light.

 

Eyes peer from the ceiling.

Hands reach from the floor.

Hearts beat from the walls

and he stands at the door.

 

No chemical shields me.

No masquerade hides.

The sweat of my body,

the fear in my eyes.

 

He’s pounding and pounding

and growing in strength.

He’s ...

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addictionrelapseInner Struggleinner demons

Yet Again

The feeling

haunts me

time and time again.

I feel it as it’s coming

like a scent upon the wind.

 

Like wind across the predator

wafts out to warn the prey.

So likewise all I know and feel

screams, “turn and run away!”

 

But something deep inside me

in a way I can’t explain,

finds pleasure in the desecration,

need inside the pain.

 

So, mind and heart...

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addictionrelapseaddict fallinginternal struggle

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