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Vasovagal Syncope.
Clock out, start my car and check my phone.
I look down, see a text "Hey, you doing okay bro?"
Confused and realizing I missed about 12 calls.
Didn't know what was going on, nothing was clear,
*Incoming call from 'enter name here'*.
I answered "Hey what's up?" and then I heard the tears.
"What's going on? What did I miss? Are you alright?"
'You didn't hear? She was driving and passed away l...
Tuesday 11th December 2018 7:58 am
Charles Bukowski (Way He Writes)
Charles Bukowski
Charles Bukowski was quite a character. Bukowski relied on experience, emotion, and imagination in his work, using direct language and violence and sexual imagery. Many people found his writing offensive. He writes with a nothing-to-lose truthfulness which makes him different from most writers. Bukowski was very much into alcohol, sex and even violence. Bukowski went to scho...
Saturday 8th December 2018 5:20 am
We All Die Someday
We all die someday
But in our own way.
Some even commit suicide
As their troubles, they can’t hide.
By the thin thread of life we go
When it ends, we do not know.
It can happen to the young
Because of the cancer lung.
You’ll be remembered by friends,
Up to the moment when their life ends.
Your family members will grieve
Telling about the things you achie...
Saturday 1st December 2018 9:30 am
Thaw-Irkhet-if
Thaw-Irkhet-if
at last the light
the promised light
slipping from Osiris’ grip
crushed by the wheel of centuries
yet
this is not the land of the lord of silence
this is not the fertile valley
this is not the underworld
this is the harsh light
of an alien world
where sacred sarcophagus
is rent asunder
and remains displayed for voyeurs
of the dead
my...
Monday 26th November 2018 12:57 pm
The Promise
It has been so many years
since that moment of truth
when finally you were truly alone
It has been so many years
since you flew with the flames
as the organ played
something
and I looked out at the distant horizon
seeing you there drifting away
into finality
It has been so many years
since I made you a promise
I could not keep
You said
Do no...
Monday 19th November 2018 11:46 am
Three Poems in Tana
1: An Old Transformation
Her body
cold
as sea ice
lay before me
broken
by life’s swell.
I remembered
the pull of her currents and tides,
her surging waves and deeps
And I knew
I could no longer navigate
the course
we had set
so long before
As she lay before me
still, pale, cold
I wept:
for ever
becalmed
2: Lovers
Naked
...Saturday 10th November 2018 5:33 pm
For Jordan
Out driving our first cars at night
snaking the blackness of North East country roads
I'd flick the headlights off
hear the girls scream
then back on and we'd crack up laughing
In our town, there wasn't much to do
but wander looping streets
haunt the park outside of college
blow house to house, see who was home
or spend it lying in your bedroom laughing
When you and Chris split, he ...
Saturday 20th October 2018 12:13 am
Long Lived
Swiftly dwindle,
By the pastures of rapture,
Your soul wakes where it fell.
28 wonderful years,
Thank you,
From a friend.
Sunday 14th October 2018 7:13 am
The Still Quiet Air
The still quiet air
The freezing touch of his hand
Death is by my side
Friday 12th October 2018 4:06 pm
47
The manila envelope was full of shit. It stank so fucking much. There was too much of it. One example was this: a tattooed skate boarder was blown away after being severely beaten. He was full of lead. The stitched up bullet holes showed this. There were 6 or 7 in his upper body. It was amazing how the mortician cleaned him up. He looked asleep. And was, forever…
…part of the current mad p...
Tuesday 9th October 2018 3:58 pm
Write HOPE on your arm!
In the recent storms and typhoons, I heard advice from US police to people not evacuating to write theirnames on their arms as it might be the only way to identify them. This somewhat brutal advice inspiredthe following rather apocalyptic poem - if you look closely I hope you can find a message of hope!
Run for the Hills
Write your name upon your arm,
On your sleeve tattoo you...
Saturday 29th September 2018 9:27 am
Writing in Rhyme
Please consider watching this slam live on Youtube (with subtitles):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPo1FANFUTU
I can’t help writing in rhyme. I do it all the time.
Rhymes sneak into my texts unbidden
Or if they’re not there, or are too well hidden
Their absence clangs like a bell
And I feel compelled to find them somewhere… bear, care, dare, hair, tear… repair, despair…
...Wednesday 19th September 2018 8:37 pm
A two week old cup of homemade lemonade right before I brush my teeth with vinegar
Losing all my trust,
yet I still believe you,
admitting my defeat.
You have lied,
many times before,
and you still told me things,
no body knows.
Showed your true colours,
but never showed your face.
Flirt with the thought of death,
somehow you were stopped,
but this time,
nothing stands in the way,
except for a bottle of rum,
a golden pen and a writing you'll never understand.
Sunday 2nd September 2018 12:16 am
Five minutes more
Please.
Just five minutes more.
Just five more minutes alone, in the quiet
Before I walk through that door
Return to the noise
And heed the voices.
Just five more minutes
Before I resume my duties
The chores that are never done
The battles that will never be won.
Just five minutes more to call my own
Before I become once more the exclusive property of cha...
Wednesday 22nd August 2018 11:50 pm
Just another breakdown
It's hard when you're always lying,
Always hiding the way you feel.
Losing your sight on truthful words,
Forgetting what is real.
It's hard when you forget to laugh
And you're scared that someone might see.
Hoping no one saw your face,
As you struggle to remember how to breathe.
It's hard to pretend you're happy,
And you're terrified someone might ask.
It's becoming harder every day;
It...
Friday 17th August 2018 8:40 am
Just one more time.
It calls me closer, its calls me near
"Just once and it'll be over"
Death whispers in my ear
Irresistible is its sweet entice
Staring down, which one to slice,
I observe my previous tries
My unseen hurt and earlier cries
No peace in my mind, no peace in my head
The quiet intelligent me, long since fled
Anger and rage consumes me
My minds demons bursting to be free
The walls o...
Tuesday 7th August 2018 9:23 pm
The Curse.
Grab a pinch of quantum soup
mix with fresh picked arrowroot,
NEUTRON STAR AND NEUTRON STAR.
gasping gluts of interstellar air
with corona of Altair,
NETURON STAR AND NEUTRON STAR.
dying light of Betelgeuse
cast around him double thrice,
NEUTRON STAR AND NEUTRON STAR.
Friday 3rd August 2018 10:41 am
I feel awkward without coffee
I feel awkward without coffee
like chasing pert sylvans round Helicon's hills
constant under Urania's dissapproving eye.
Makes one want to get deep into the wood with goat footed pan
erection flailing wild for Bacchus rites.
Or better yet to smash skulls for the ruby juice
thick Teutonic forest leaning close.
Friday 3rd August 2018 1:08 am
ENDINGS
A series of 11 short poems
End of a Galaxy
A blink
In the silent depth of night
As the last leaf of the beech tree
As the silent tear of my love
End of Harmony
I see her dancing on the sands
I see her as she sees me
and in that moment
sand, sea, sun, surf
vanish in the vortex
until
...Saturday 14th July 2018 7:59 pm
Dead Fathers
They say we carry the dead with us,
And most are surprised by the weight.
We hoist them up on our shoulders,
And imagine our strength is adequate.
But invariably we fault and stumble.
We stagger and trip and fall
We can’t see a way out of this trouble
Each partition becomes a wailing wall
We drop them in the middle of our marriage.
We trip over them when we try...
Thursday 12th July 2018 12:15 pm
A Train of Thought
My step dad, Robin, passed away a short time ago at the ripe old age of 94. An incredible man, he lived an incredible life, including working at Bletchley Park codebreaking during the war, putting out fires at ST Paul's Cathedral, living in Australia, India, Ireland and Scotland and writing numerous books in his role as a well respected minister and scholar. He met my mum again after 50 years, p...
Sunday 1st July 2018 6:45 am
Soon
I know my time coming soon
So that’s why I just go with the move
I hope when it comes i go asap
That’s why I don’t stress no get back m
I hop when they hit me they hit all of that
Shoot me in the head & stomach I want them to make sure I’m dead
I hope I don’t survive I don’t wanna be saved
Friday 29th June 2018 1:14 am
Time
It is so many years
since I felt some part of me wane:
all those thousands of days
since we spoke of nothing -
could find no words;
and even many more
since there were whispers
as we lay naked in the night
or in the cottage garden
beneath the harvest sun
It is so many years
that I have known that dark void:
deep within my very soul
and in all those long ...
Thursday 28th June 2018 3:04 pm
Death Warrant
{Death Warrant}
I have an active
warrant for my
scheduled death
that has been
killing me slowly
and painfully since
the day I was
conceived inside of
my mother's womb
And as these day's
fade into the darkest
longest hour's of the
lonely nightmares of
death lingering
around my sickened
weakened body until
I am a forgotten
chiari w...
Sunday 24th June 2018 10:59 pm
39
Thirty-nine bodies
lay on the ground
in the summer sun
As I watched
workers carried two more away
Around me
life continued as usual
a hum of activity
oblivious
Thirty-nine bodies
on that square of concrete
that summer afternoon
As ...
Thursday 21st June 2018 3:38 pm
When...
When I have gone
what waits this room
with its vacuum
where I sat?
Does
my chair sits sightless
musing at my absence
midst space bereft
my music play on?
After I have left
ask my empty bed
all sheeted void
about my dreams
Does
my mattress dent
minding my long night wraiths
maintain my ...
Wednesday 20th June 2018 4:39 pm
Morning Mellow
With eyes closed
I'm morning mellow
and grateful
Survived another crash
the screech of a derailment
isn't mine this time
but it only gets later
in the day of my life
my luck must be spilling out
soon to all be spilled
Morning mellow, with eyes closed
still invincible
at thirty seven
Beyond the pane
summer wind rips
licks at the glass
makes me feel small
and safe, for now
Tuesday 19th June 2018 11:46 pm
Defuse The Bombs
Defuse The Bombs
When the war was over there are many things left over
That never went bang and were there secretly hiding
The Germans defused them in many places
And were paid in food and reduced sentences
Some new types of British bomb had a tricky fuse
Hans lost two of his friends to these tricky things
The fuse diagrams were held up at the docks
Was this on purpos...
Monday 18th June 2018 4:41 pm
Demise
I feel dead inside
I can no longer hide
For so long I've lied
I promise, I truly tried,
But today is the day that I died.
Monday 18th June 2018 3:19 pm
A broken girl...
She cried out for help but no one came,
Once again they ignored her cry.
And now thanks to their deafened ears,
She took her life and choose to die.
She was never really heard or seen,
And still not one person cared.
No one though it would end this way,
No one thought that she would dare.
When they heard this girl was dead,
They all search for a face.
But they find is an empty seat,
Wh...
Saturday 16th June 2018 8:25 am
Tell Me
Tell Me
Tell me, Stranger, tell me do,
What makes the world spin round for you?
What do you love, what makes you cry?
What do you hope, before you die?
Tell me, Father, plant a seed,
What path I follow, where you lead,
Give me compass, strength and plan,
To show me how to be a man.
Hold me Mother, sing me songs,
Give me rites for all my wrongs,
You g...
Tuesday 12th June 2018 10:32 pm
Not The Same
So much pain I try to keep it tamed
We grew up different we not the same
The shit u do is fine the shit I do draw the line
Yo family there when u fall
My family flat out don’t care
U had everything
I had to jugg everything
I guess sometimes life ain’t fair
It’s more to me then a ugky face with long hair
Always been small but ion have fear
Some nights I couldn’t sleep
Many night...
Thursday 31st May 2018 3:19 am
These men
Angry confused divided and misdirected
With morality low and aggressiveness high
Shallow and impulsive realms of perspective
Violence and crime progressively worsening
The streets set the scene for these men to rehearse in
Society eludes a self destructive way of life
& some young men savagely taken by the pierce of a knife
Where art thou compassion, you’ve lost your empa...
Thursday 24th May 2018 10:30 am
ðə króz ləmɛ́nt
ðə króz ləmɛ́nt
(tékən frə́m ‘the bʊ́k ə́v crows’)
kró stǽnd ən fíld
sɪ́ŋ kró sɔ́ŋ
tú hjúmən ɪ́r
sáwnd rɔ́ŋ
koww koww koww
kró blǽk ə́v wɪ́ŋ
kró blǽk ə́v bón
kró blǽk ə́v hárt
kró só əlón
áj hǽd brə́ðər blǽk
bə́t brə́ðər blǽk ɪ́z gɔ́n
tékən báj ðə wɪ́ntər
hɪ́r máj sǽd kró sɔ́ŋ
“stick mǽn
...
Wednesday 23rd May 2018 2:02 pm
Only One Winner
Only One Winner
He dropped a glass
On my stone floor
And there was only one winner.
She breathed her last
Was at death’s door
And there was only one winner.
He took a chance
She faced a threat
And there was only one winner.
He lived a life,
He paid his debt
And there was only one winner.
My nights were dark
The sun arose
And the...
Saturday 21st April 2018 11:40 am
Sideways
Sadness follows the ends of my hands,
Gravel broken sideways.
Finish the beginning to confirm the edges,
Shadows digging deeper.
The bridge built for the followers,
Leans forward,
Above that brittle and cold creek.
Water fills holes to drown the children,
Your gasps unending,
A quiet end on the side of relief and tranquility.
Following the bitter ...
Saturday 21st April 2018 4:30 am
The Body of Life
The Body of Life
RIP Paul
Don’t hold on to the cord too long
As the casket drops back to the ground
Listen and hear the blackbird’s song
As loved ones whisper all around.
Holding on can pull you down,
Time to let go with laughs and tears.
One life so brief now clearly shown
Should soothe all worries, quell your fears.
Suits new pressed in Sunday be...
Thursday 5th April 2018 4:28 pm
Back To The Park
Back To The Park
It’s mid July,
a summer’s day.
School is just
a memory away.
We lay on grass
and watch the sky
and count the clouds
as they pass by.
We talk of bands
we’d like to see -
Led Zeppelin, Quo,
Sabbath and Free.
Insects buzz,
a distant bark,
children playing
In the park.
You turn to me
and kiss my lips
and move in close,
h...
Tuesday 3rd April 2018 2:55 pm
The steps of losing your mind
You stare.
Thinking isn’t your game, anymore.
Wait for the next reflex to barge in.
Stare.
PC: unknown.
Sunday 1st April 2018 6:21 pm
Too blue to breathe
Blended is thy blue and sly be the cue
one flew over two,
resting in peace a few,
me and me and me and me and you.
Sunday 1st April 2018 6:19 pm
The greatest loss for a kid
My mum,
My mum of eleven years,
Has gone - never to walk the earth again.
The past years - what have I lost?
Not much…only:
A motherly figure to go to when in harm,
Someone to praise me when I’m succeeding,
Someone to hold me tight when I’m in need,
Someone to teach me right from wrong,
Someone to kiss me when I’m sleeping,
Someone to make me laugh,
Someone to tick...
Monday 26th March 2018 12:27 pm
cut out my lungs (you stole my breath)
my breath left me
on a day of cold and color
against your turned back
white face, white mist
under the beat of your wings
singing the song of the swan
snow falls down
through a world of stolen breath
a feather finds its way
beside a snowflake
curled in my palm
i wish on a white and silent world
that you would take my heart
the way you took my lungs
...
Sunday 11th March 2018 7:20 pm
The Shooter
The Shooter
Must be quite a kick, that feeling
Walking the corridors with power,
Knowing you have that which others don’t
Holding it close, nestling, kneeling
Taking aim as others cower
Doing that which others won’t
Taking life, paying back, being
For once the number one,
The big man, standing proud and tall
The one who sends the toughest fleeing.
Alone, just ...
Sunday 11th March 2018 11:26 am
Metro Cats
Metro Cats
The city is like the one Nostramadus saw
A modern metropolis where everything happens
Life death destruction creation
Around people who inhabit this place
And other locations like it globally
Ready for anything expecting it now
And it will in a massive way soon soon soon!
For we are being prepped for it
Expect the worst!
Get ready to die!
On and on and on!
Till we a...
Thursday 8th March 2018 7:58 pm
Don't Cry Over Me
{Don't Cry Over Me}
Don't cry over me
Don't feel sad for me
Don't you think that
I didn't want
to stay but I
couldn't because I
had to go because
God needed me more
Don't you think that
I didn't Iove you
because I did
and I always will
even from above now
Don't cry over me
Don't you forget that
now I'm your angel
watching over you
...Sunday 25th February 2018 3:46 pm
She Died And I Died To
{She Died And I Died To}
She was a beautiful
woman that I got
attached to very
quickly because she
would write little
poems that was like
a visionary fairytale
of what life could be
for me and her
But then my beautiful
beauty got really bad
sick as the day's
passed into the
darkest hours of the
nights my heart was
breaking into to see
her like this ...
Sunday 25th February 2018 11:24 am
What I Need
{What I Need}
What I need is to be
the same person I was
before chiari
And what I need is
to be that person who
can be able to cope
with life again
And I need to feel
calm and not so
panicky
And I need to feel
good about myself
And not so bad
about myself
And for the thing's in
my life that I am u...
Sunday 25th February 2018 2:34 am
Murderous Tears
{Murderous Tears}
These murderous tears
follows down my cheeks
wetting my shirt as I gently
wipe them away like the
way the did you by murdering
you in cold blooded murder
and it left me here like a
child that was orphaned
to survive in these darkened
cold streets that the
blood stained asphalt
surrounds my feet
But I cannot fathom
how th...
Saturday 24th February 2018 9:00 am
Sacred Path
Sacred Path
we walked the ancient path together
where ancestors had worn the land
into a waypoint to the barrow
carefully observing rituals and customs
under azure skies we stumbled on our way
across this land of Albion
the hops the wheat the barley
bowing heads in solemn recognition
of the passing of souls
as we walked we talked of many things
...
Thursday 22nd February 2018 12:19 am
Memories
When it was discovered, we recoiled
Out of doubt, out of fear
We focused on the opinions of others
Instead of what we thought
When I let our secret fly free,
I was shown acceptance and love
Hope blossomed like a cactus flower
It would be okay.
He was capricious, of two minds
One day yes, the next was no,
He produced a name, but renounced his love
I proce...
Tuesday 20th February 2018 12:17 am
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