I have an eclectic palette

But you’re the only taste that matters

I used to roll my eyes when they said

A lover can be your refuge 

I thought turbulence feeds my drive 

But here we are

And it’s everything to feel safe in your arms

No more flight or fight with shaking hands

And anxiety, an egg in my throat 

A sickness that spreads

It always gives back 

Feeding its...

Read and leave comments (1)

Agitation eats at my chest due to my un-feathered yearning for this person, she cannot begin to think about what she wants other than the bare necessity of breathing.

                Which implores me to wish she didn’t need to breathe, selfishly, so that I can then be an option for her. I'm sure another necessity would take sprout.

I’m not sure who is the root of the problem. A possible s...

Read and leave comments (0)

My father, who art in heaven

And filleth my life

Hallowed be thy name,

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven

May it take precedence over my heart’s desires

Give me this day my daily bread

And Take that that no longer serves me

Forgive me my sins as I forgive those who sin against me

Lead me not into temptation 

Temptation to revenge 

Temptat...

Read and leave comments (1)

Words can be weaponised
Be careful with the words you use
What might be a throw away sentence to you
Forever imprinted, taunting anothers mind 

When you chose these words 
Did you remember the things about me which only you know
The secrets I don't share freely 
But entrusted with you 

People have preconceived notions
Ready to label and validate assumptions
You saw behind the mask
Y...

Read and leave comments (0)

I cry for all those overcome

The ones trapped, trapped 

Draining souls lost in heat 

Etching sins into the glass

Break free I beg of thee

Screams thunder the grey

All this storm, all this fear 

Release the hell you hold dear

Do not twirl and twist among it

Go take my hand - leap

Don’t fall to his name - rise

Your light of her and all her’s

Come to the promised k...

Read and leave comments (0)

Imagine being totally untethered

After feeling chain linked 

I feel split

That part removed 

That half is trying to renew

But it hurts 

To grow scab over wound 

Missing you is mourning you 

Leaving you is still losing you

And I’m just as lost

As I made you 

If it could be 

I would make it be 

Should I be chain linked again 

I would make it good 

Should ...

Read and leave comments (0)

I want to see your face
I want to bore into your eyes
I want you to make me twirl
but I think it's too late

Why did it feel like the last dance
that I'd get before you vanish into the oasis?
Did you have to give up so soon?
I was just getting used to being
someone you called

You asked me why I didn't
take off my mask
I laughed and said that it's become a part of me
only I  knew t...

Read and leave comments (0)

It’s hard to look at pictures of me from high school

You’re in all of the stories

The prom after-party, beside me in chorus

And now we don’t speak.

But if you called

I wouldn’t hesitate to pick up the phone

Drive anywhere you needed me

But we don’t need each other anymore, do we?

You could say that I missed too much

You and he are no longer together

You were so many ...

Read and leave comments (0)

Cuts from pristine crisp yellow pages 

leading to a moonlit night 

beside the waves      

with the onomatopoeia of the lapping waters 

against your feet

and the warmth from the

fire beside

Cuts from letters

not pronouncing love

but charges for services with “friendly reminder” written in red

and an occasional congratulations 

and seasonal “vote for me”s

Read and leave comments (0)

I wish I could hate you,

But I can't.

I wish I could forget you,

But I can't.

If I have a choice between love and death,

I would have chosen death for sure.

But I can't.

Love is so stupid,

That it hurts

Making me so frustrated,

That it hurts

Amplifying the feeling of loneliness,

That it hurts

Can't even express all this in your face

It hurts.

...

Read and leave comments (1)

Chains of Capture

Deepest darkest nightmares
But only if you knew
The lengths that I have taken
To hide away the truth
The scars are slowly fading
But the pain runs deep inside
Some say that I'm outspoken
But they don’t see the things I hide
The questions left unanswered
Constantly running through my head
The ‘what if’s’ again resurfaced
That I’d thought I’d put to bed
My demons is ...

Read and leave comments (0)

JIGSAW

Brunette. Blonde

Black. Grey

I am auburn.

Hazel. Green

Brown. Blue

I am Grey.

Tabs, blanks

Pockets, sockets

Corners, middles

I am unique.

Flat pieces; four points

Innies and lock

The back

always Grey

Without me, you are not complete

With me, we are replete

A needle in the haystack

melancholic morning

Smea...

Read and leave comments (0)

Real love is life threatening 

It’s not serene, sweet, dream love

It’s not romantic, rainbow love

No

True love is torture 

Gut wrenching pain

Hands and knees, love 

Need it to breathe, love 

It’s enough to put you away, love 

But never pull you away, love 

It’s masochistically addictive 

It titillates and irritates

Possesses every bit 

Until you have a fit

Read and leave comments (1)

Please use this scalpel to bleed the color from my veins
For now I know each measure of beauty comes with equal measure of pain
Oh, how cruel the price we pay, in the ignorant throes of joy
We revel without knowing what soon we will destroy
The world once bright, and hearts delight
Now stings this tearful eye
I never thought that you and me
would have to say goodbye
So as you leave, taking...

Read and leave comments (0)

This misery does not like company
Though I meet it for coffee each morning at 6
It shuns the beseeching touch of others
Though each night we sleep entwined like lovers
        Or vagrants huddling together for warmth
This misery turns all words of praise to spite
Though it hovers by my shoulder all day like a proud parent
      Or a voyeur perversely pleasured by my failures
This misery ha...

Read and leave comments (2)

As pain and jealousy give way to wonder and gratitude , I realize the beauty of a love that opens ones eyes to life. The time between the yearned for reunion or unfathomable new beginning, fades like the forgotten darkness that comes in the blink of an eye. Whether a rekindling of old love - renewed by perspective - or the birth of new love - when one gathers the strength to carry the hole in thei...

Read and leave comments (0)

Why when I look do I see only the wounds and not the victory they have bought?

Why, when I cast inward, are all that’s cast back the echoes of pain and not the gentle reminder of suffering’s end?

Why can I not express my feelings directly instead of disguising them in tedious metaphor?

What game do I play with myself and why am I surprised that even when I win I lose?

These thoughts be...

Read and leave comments (0)

Am I mad to miss the pain of your loss?

After initially numb, flattened by the utterly incomprehensible gift of spiritual closure, of forgiveness,

I am now bereft.

Was this bloody burden truly such an integral appendage as to leave me stumbling at the absence of its crushing weight?

I seem to have forgotten the me that lay hidden beneath the shroud of loss. It’s cloying, gropi...

Read and leave comments (0)

i never imagined living to this age 

and maybe that’s why it all feels so surreal 

the younger version of me lost hope so quickly 

i never planned to reach this day 

i don’t want to celebrate 

i don’t want to blow out any candles 

or open any gifts

i want to feel better 

i’m spending the couple nights before i turn twenty relapsing alone in a cold room 

there is nothing ...

Read and leave comments (1)

When she folded into herself

You all looked away

When she unraveled

You all watched

Read and leave comments (2)

It’s hidden well, but I search deep within the crevices of your mind.
I interpret your words and actions to depict intention and longing, want and need.
They’re masked behind masculinity; hidden within the social construct that disallows you to be free....to feel.
That which praises to the appeal of lust; turns love to dust.
Strong enough to break a woman’s heart, but no strength to trust us.

Read and leave comments (2)

Read and leave comments (0)

A heart full of hurt, wanting to unleash pain 

A heart not strong enough to endure all

But I find solace in our times together

I give that which I can't get, I have what I can't give,

Our moments gives me nothing but peace

Did you regret it?

A knowable answer 

Was it worth it?

A question never asked

But I find hope in my love.

I know nothing will change

Nevertheles...

Read and leave comments (0)

Painful embers stab the dark

Of pain too rich to bear

Callous flames, beguile a heart

Left stained by acrid air

Dreams denied by rancid thoughts

On lips too vain to care

Lifetimes lost in frozen eyes

A soul beyond repair

Read and leave comments (1)

I pity you for the worldview you have acquired.
I pity you for the hurt you have suffered.
I pity you for the opportunities you have squandered.
And I pity you the friendships that have foundered.

I pity you for the fear that propels you.
I pity you for the decisions that shape you.
I pity you the isolation that awaits you.
And I pity you the path actions take you.

I pity you who canno...

Read and leave comments (2)

i would give you the world but it doesn't belong to me

i would give you the universe but its free for everybody

id give you all of me but even im afraid of me

i can't guve you what i have never had

because you took what was never yours so i hope you are glad

you left me empty like a black hole

crushed every part of me and swalloed my soul

you will never cut that noose

...

Read and leave comments (0)

Moving on to a new chapter, time is passing even faster. Upwards and away from the usual disaster.
All alone and gonna make it, this unfornate cycle I'm gonna break it. All the bliss I'm gonna take it, no longer have to fake it.

I'm me and I'm free, time is mine and I'll let it be. I don't need love and I don't need praise. The past was only an unlucky phase. Life is confusing I've always been...

Read and leave comments (5)

Leaving seems so hard

Until you actually leave

The peculiar truth is

Leaving feels ludic, orphic, majestic

Leaving the places which seemed to matter

Leaving the paper people I once met

Leaving, forgiving & moving forward

What a trouvaille I encountered

To leave the paper connection

Leaving them as they are, incomplete & rustic

Leaving them in the ocean ...

Read and leave comments (0)

Help

Nothings new

Nothings the same 

Nobody yearning

No one to blame 

Pretentious thoughts

Relentless smiles

Bloodthirsty thoughts

Sinless flesh defiled

It hurts

Pointless meetings

Insipid friends

Effusive pretenders

Matching the trend 

World keeps turning

Illusions are gone

Within the abyss

The demons belong

I’m scared

Watching from th...

Read and leave comments (0)

Shadows of a face I see

Pain oozing beyond every pore

Blissful smells

mocking empty arms

Worthless words that shatter my core

Shadows reflect in the mirror for me

Dust resting in places not seen

Unnoticed stains

Caress faded floors

Memories blurring from what could have been 

Shadows saturate the world that I see

Dying embers of defeated hope 

Tainted ...

Read and leave comments (0)

Blackened eyes reflect the venom 

That burned beneath your veins. 

Acrid breaths, defend the lies

Of a life you soiled and stained

Conceited smile to manipulate a fool, 

To bend and shatter the goodness. 

Masquerading as Hope,

Disguised as love

Defiled the light to sadness

Left stumbling for air

Left needing a heart

Left broken, left consumed, left abandoned

Read and leave comments (0)

Pain exists inside the heart

That mourns the missing day

Emptiness, holding all that’s lost,

Fingers white, grasping air, slipping away

Darkness surrounds all we see, 

Shadows stolen from what could have been

Extinguish a flame, smoke filling our souls

As expectance is hidden and unseen 

Embers remain in the sorrowful ash

As the wind lifts up the light of our e...

Read and leave comments (0)

I don't want to hurt no more
I don’t want to cry
Don’t want to curse no more
Don't want to live this lie
Inside I feel I’m dying
The pain it hurts so bad
I feel I’m losing control
Every day I feel so sad
I’ve felt this way for a lifetime
Thought I’d mastered how to cope
But the pressures getting heavy
Feel I’m living with false hope
Thought talking would help to free me
But I feel I’v...

Read and leave comments (2)

You think that your losing me
But I’m losing part of you
You think that your hurting me
But it’s me who’s hurting you
You think you can save me
But it’s hard for you to do
Because I cause so much agony
And it’s me doing that to you

I fear for the future
I fear that you will leave
It feels you’ve lost the sparkle
And no longer believe
I know you reassure me
And there’s things you n...

Read and leave comments (0)

Crumbling all around you
Your world falling apart
Life seems to be dealing cruel blows
And your wondering where to start
From the moment you start hiding
Things go from bad to worse
The damage is occurring
And your causing yourself hurt
On the outside you are smiling
But on the inside there is pain
To the world your seeing sunshine
But all you see is rain
Behind the dark clouds lurks y...

Read and leave comments (0)

Inside I’m breaking, I’m aching, in falling apart
The mess in my head is a real work of art
I’d unravel this mess but where would I start
Picked away at the seams bit by bit, part by part

The confusions, delusions
I just think what I have
But then thinking and sinking
I start to feel sad
Then with sadness there’s madness
And then I feel bad
These confusions, delusions are driving me ma...

Read and leave comments (0)

She was trying

Trying to be calm

Trying to mute the

Monologue inside her mind.

Full of contradictions to herself,

Full of arguments

Full of endless thoughts

She felt like being pulled

In a spiral

Down and down and down

With each breath she took

Swallowing her own soul

As if she split up

Into two halves

Halves against each other

She was he...

Read and leave comments (1)

Walking down the road no one travels on, lost are the souls that tried so hard to find themselves. Was the path really better? Luering you in with the beautiful greenery but what is lurking behind the beauty? Desperation to grasp ahold of innocent travelers, leading their journey to peace astray. Not a spiritual awakening they'll find, instead another dead end. Defeated, as you look theres no way ...

Read and leave comments (0)

I’ve got callouses
I’m covered in scars
I’m broken inside
So loving me is hard

You kissed my fingers
My heart pounded so hard
You bathed me in love
And now i can’t get up my guard

It just seems so easy for you
Even after all we’ve been through
You told me you didn’t want to lose me
So how are you being so cold
You washed away the armour that i hold
I wish that this hurt you like i...

Read and leave comments (1)

Pain, Pain go away

Go and never come back soon

It’s becoming more difficult to hide you these days

Please kindly go away.

Tears and sniffles go away

Ruining my face with your runny self

I still have to put up a brave face for the tide ahead

Please do me the favour of staying away

This thing called happiness

Has eluded me for a while now

I just feel so tired...

Read and leave comments (1)

I can't take it,

I'm only asking,

Please Lord help me,

I'm tired of relapsing,

Over and over,

My veins are collapsing,

I know you hear me,

I'm sorry for babbling,

I don't understand,

Why this keeps happening,

I'm covering the pain,

It's so everlasting,

The hurt burns deep,

It never stops dragging,

Life is a slow death,

It's truly a sad thing,

My hand...

Read and leave comments (3)

You’ve found yourself in a lonely place

With nothing left to lose but face

That you try to save but fail

To see the never ending trail

Of destruction from your hate

At an exponential rate

Trust has fallen, love is lost

You didn’t think what it would cost

You at the start when you began

And now I wonder if you can

Ever find a way to heal

The hurt that all but you ca...

Read and leave comments (0)

She woke up dead, yes dead in her heart 
She thought they would never ever part 
The Wicked man of stone ruined her life 
Why did he ask her to be his wife 

He knew he already had one tucked away 
She tries to cry but she woke up dead today 
A bigamist and a sweet girl of twenty three 
Signs where there she just didn't want to see 

Three week into the marriage a knock on the door 
His...

Read and leave comments (1)

it’s 6:21 and when I look out my window from the corner of 29D, 

there’s a subtle hue of blood orange outlining what looks like the perimeter of 

a space

of sky

and a breeze of clouds, lighter than feathers, so thin, as if it forgot to carry the mist it was designed to pour tonight 

but that’s okay, because it found itself a new purpose:

your shrewd orange spirit is now perf...

Read and leave comments (1)

To expunge them from my mind

That's the only thing I wish I could do for myself that I feel utterly incapable of doing

I'm at war with my thoughts and memories

Old wounds echoing in the present

Ripping my heart as fresh as it tore years ago

A different face, a different name

An altogether different entity and demeanor

But I can hear the words from your mouth as if he's spoken ...

Read and leave comments (1)

I have loved you for years
but our love has been a rollercoaster ride
a battlefield of our souls fighting
our hearts breaking over and over

We both prefer our solace
it hurts less 
than for us to be together and 
fighting over a love that will remain
                                                              ... a battlefield

Read and leave comments (0)

I am applauded for my supposed talents and works. Can’t they see these talents and works are nothing more than self-loathing’s reign over me.

Her quiet whispers are boundless as she drenches my ear with invectives and affirms my triviality.  Her voice has become a familiar melody that serenades my mind and her song confronts anyone who challenges her position. 

I attempt to war against her w...

Read and leave comments (2)

Beautifully Broken

People surround me but inside I stand in solitude. I have slowly become victim to the sickness parade giving it way to ravage my passion and spirit.  

Despair clutches my soul tightly in her hand creating a continuum of anguish and relentless torture.  My vices allow her to slumber, but soon she wakes refreshed with the energy of a young fawn on an early spring day.  She a...

Read and leave comments (1)

I am applauded for my supposed talents and works. Can’t they see these talents and works are nothing more than self-loathing’s reign over me.

Her quiet whispers are boundless as she drenches my ear with invectives and affirms my triviality.  Her voice has become a familiar melody that serenades my mind and her song confronts anyone who challenges her position. 

I attempt to war against her w...

Read and leave comments (0)

Brutal truths
... heard and felt
without any 
pretty words


I have tried
and failed
One day, you will need to read the
filed memories
and absorb all my pain

Read and leave comments (2)