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Lost
When you left, you took a piece of my heart
When you left, my whole world came tumbling down
I became so lost
I was left in the dark
You took with you my light
When you left, I learned to fight
I learned to navigate this world without you by my side
I learned to be strong to no longer rely on your love
You thought I was weak,
For feeling too much
Now, you're the one ...
Tuesday 30th March 2021 5:31 pm
Strength
For a long time you felt that you were weak
For a long time you felt that you weren't loved, that you didn't belong
Too emotional, too many feelings,
How could anyone or anything ever love the broken human you'ved become
How could anyone see the beautiful you trying to emerge from the dark
For a long time you felt that you were weak
Too emotional, too many feelings, you deserved...
Tuesday 23rd February 2021 7:34 pm
Light
Sometimes I wonder if you ever loved me
I wonder if you ever felt the way I felt for you
Sometimes I wonder why you stayed by my side so long
Why did you watch my light slowly die
And then blamed me when it was all gone
Sometimes I wonder why did you fall in love with someone else when you had somone by your side who gave you all her life who gave you her heart
Then I realize th...
Tuesday 2nd February 2021 4:24 pm
Pieces
So much of what I hoped to be
has been torn away
in these years of struggle.
Not like old skin,
whose tiny dry fragments
helpfully disperse,
These pieces of my self
went differently,
before use, and without replacement.
And when we perceive ourselves
we are not what we are
but also what we were and what we will be
and all of these are missing pieces now.
It has an obvio...
Tuesday 19th January 2021 1:43 am
Heart
The suffering, the pain, it’s over now
All that is left is a pounding heart trying to heal and move on
A heart that fought so hard to stay alive
A heart that held on until the last minute the last goodbye
Thumping, beating, pulsing
The pain, the suffering made the heart strong
So strong that it grew a thick wall
A wall that cannot be broken
A wall that no longe...
Tuesday 12th January 2021 4:19 am
Busted Jag
Sliding through the fog with your
Illusions of finery
I saw the check engine light when I got in
But your cracked windshield distorted my vision
All I could see was how I felt when
Your leather interior
Hugged and kissed
And caressed my body
The cute dates at cute restaurants
Sangria and Seafood
Lies covered in parmesan cheese
Lying about past lives
Lying on ...
Wednesday 9th December 2020 6:10 pm
Withered
She spoke such pretty little lies
That hypnotized
Oneself to bend at will
Slowly became to wilt
Like a rose without water
The beauty of red
Began to shed
Into a shattered brown
Cut down
Till there was nothing left
But a dead rose
And it's thorns.
Saturday 28th November 2020 8:01 pm
Broken
We were young 19 and 22
just me and you
we went into this blindly
everything we've gone through wasn't supposed to be taken lightly
three months in
and we found out we're having a kid
we bickered and we fought
that's how relationships were at least so I thought
4 months I was afraid
but for eight years you've stayed
but not without a glitch
you f*** that b****
I had poured ...
Thursday 27th August 2020 1:08 pm
Broken Man (Regrets)
Here I stand, a broken man
Trying to cope the best I can
Guys are not supposed to cry
We’re macho with our heads held high
But alone I feel a shivering wreck
With mixed up thoughts and mass regrets
Regrets that I just can’t be me
Regrets of the false man you see
Each tiny thought I try to dissect
But each tiny thought then becomes a threat
A threat that I might be exposed
Exposed to tho...
Friday 31st July 2020 1:23 am
A Drowning Dream.
To learn everyday was what taught to me,
Sinking in an ocean, moving steadily;
It was the ocean of knowledge and believes,
Suddenly the world changed, and power came to cease.
'Look at him, look at her', comparing to the whole world,
Trying my very best, to win in every word.
Becoming a good son, a dear brother and good friend,
But that 'I', was lost in the end.
I became what you want,...
Friday 10th July 2020 3:05 pm
Faith
In a world that is broken and full of crime and hate
There are people who still have faith
Faith that can move mountains and make things well
There are people who believe with all their heart that things can heal
They believe that with faith anything and everything is possible
Through pain, death, and brokeness we must always remember to have a little bit of FAITH
Let God take th...
Monday 1st June 2020 7:27 pm
Empty
Hello, can anyone hear me?
Hello, are you still there listening to my cries?
Listening to me as I fall on my knees, feeling so empty as this world falls apart
Hello, God! I need you! We all need you!
Our world slowly falls and we all begin to feel empty wanting human contact, human touch
God silently watches us and our empty lonely hearts
Waiting, quietly, for us all to call his ...
Thursday 9th April 2020 12:26 am
Numb
I woke up today feeling a bit numb
I woke up today feeling like everything will be fine
I woke up today and decided that I was done
I woke up today and cried
Then I looked in the mirror, I said, " Girl you look fine!"
Then another voice said, " Don't you dare give up!"
So I put on a happy face,
And I headed out to find that girl I once was....
Happy. Beautiful. Strong
...Monday 3rd February 2020 3:37 am
Dark Cloud
A dark cloud over me
No matter how hard I battled I seemed to be stuck
No matter how hard I tried to overcome the struggle it was eating me alive
Breathe, wake up, walk
What is wrong with you I yelled, " You have God!"
Get up battle, don't give up
Life keeps throwing punches at you
Life keeps making you fall
But fight, fight and be strong
Don't give up
Don't you dare ...
Saturday 1st February 2020 2:54 pm
my struggle
followed the wrong path, struch down by society
tried to make music but couldnt get the propriety
had the struggles, went through it involuntary
to give my heart to anyone now i am very wary
if you see me smile - im not happy - its rarely
it was my choices that led me here if i put it fairly
no anyone to hold me as i push myself through
not even a father to see how ive grew
...Wednesday 15th January 2020 11:15 am
New York City
a whiff of caffeine and cologne on your left collar, two cups of decaf
and half a hug along the plane of our shoulders
and we took off
with stolen glances at my pendant as red and radiant as the waking sun
and the mole on the bottom right corner of my cheek, scaled to the size of a period that never surfaced in our conversations
our wings welcomed the wind li...
Wednesday 25th December 2019 4:00 am
Beyond The Gone Crowd
Beyond The Gone Crowd
There is a blind that cares for me,
A blind that rolls in the morn and then again, evening,
The colour, no consequence, no form or
Importance as, when rolled either up, or down,
Colour changes shape and shine, shadow
Within the room where cherubs once sang, and laughed.
Every morn the roll lifts itself a hope
Of life outside be...
Friday 6th December 2019 9:44 pm
Above The Fluttering Butterfly
Above The Fluttering Butterfly
Today I saw you again,
We spent time in haste and silent tears,
Believing in only faults declared by others,
Today the time was brief, as if the first
Stage of a future king, a future queen.
I know the sorrow you live,
For there is my presence, right there
Upon your intuition, right there where
The glance is t...
Thursday 5th December 2019 6:09 pm
she stood still
sometimes i wonder how we got to this point
a point where you wonder whats the best
a point where you want to restart and forget
because i thought we're doing our best
giving all the love we have left
but look at us now,
one has left and doesnt have any regrets
and the other one stood still, full of questions.
shes waiting, waiting and reassuring him that she believes.
...
Wednesday 24th April 2019 11:12 am
Where does the light go?
"Where does the light go?"
When we face our darkest moments,
When we feel the very foundation of our being cracking and fissuring and looking well beyond repair, we tend to ask ourselves:
Where does the light go?
When will it shine again?
When we feel that all hope is lost,
THE LIGHT begins to SHINE underneath the cracks and fissures of our being.
Where we once saw irreparable...
Tuesday 19th February 2019 4:42 am
Used to
I used to be happy
I used to smile
But I am broken
It's been this way for awhile
I used to dream big
I used to be strong
Life got in the way
And it didn't take long
Lying in bed
My heart is racing
My mind won't shut off
These thoughts that I'm facing
Maybe they're better off
Without the burden of me
I feel so lost and alone
I can sense th...
Wednesday 11th July 2018 11:42 am
Broken
It's been broken so many times
I began to lose pieces that I thought were all mine
I'm in so deep and the void is so empty
So lost for words, but I don't want sympathy
Holding this heart with my bare hands
Please just take it...I don't understand
Time brought these wounds, yet they're not healed
Permanent scars have left them sealed
I'm scared of being alone and s...
Wednesday 11th July 2018 11:34 am
The Broken Doll.
I'm just a broken doll, Unfortunately, no one can see. I was beaten and battered, But no one could have saved me.
It all began when I was alone on the shelf. The cruel world took me and I couldnt cry for help. I sowed my mouth shut and continued to smile. Nobody is coming to help, not for a long while.
I'm just a broken doll, Now everybody knows. Please forgive me for I do not know how your ...
Wednesday 11th July 2018 10:16 am
Twisted love
Drown my cries with your silent screams,
Push my fears away with your shaking hands.
Listen to me with your deafened ears,
Nod and pretend to actually understand.
Hold me down while I continue to fly,
Look at me through your blinded eyes.
Pretend to see the person you want to,
And tell the truth through your broken lies.
Smile at me through your bleeding tears,
Push me down as you catch ...
Sunday 17th June 2018 7:54 am
A broken girl...
She cried out for help but no one came,
Once again they ignored her cry.
And now thanks to their deafened ears,
She took her life and choose to die.
She was never really heard or seen,
And still not one person cared.
No one though it would end this way,
No one thought that she would dare.
When they heard this girl was dead,
They all search for a face.
But they find is an empty seat,
Wh...
Saturday 16th June 2018 8:25 am
plastic protection
your toothy grin
is only cotton
trying to blow down this brick
house I have crafted
you were included in the blueprint
until I started changing
the locks
and now you're waiting for
an open door
Monday 23rd April 2018 8:33 pm
No Take Backs.
Who am I to you?
Do you want me to stick around?
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
But you still don't hear a sound.
Hang me from your promises
As I choke on your words.
You said you want me forever
But you cut my heart in thirds.
Where the fuck were you
When I needed you the most?
My world was crashing down
You turned into a ghost.
You left me all alone
And I've been lost here eve...
Saturday 7th April 2018 1:44 pm
Puzzle Pieces (If You Think About It)
The right type of music
like the right type of doctor
inside you, cutting you open
breaking you apart and
reassembling your thoughts like a puzzle.
Not another world, just another space
seclude yourself from the rest
stare at what you are in that mirror
if you break it, it doesn't matter
stare at all the disappointed faces staring back
feel their fear, and understand
...Friday 30th March 2018 6:34 pm
Also for J
Baffled, mystified, perplexed and confused,
my darling I have lost my muse,
and at what cost?
Is it worth a tormented soul
just to be kept in your control
I jump when you say
and ask you how high on the way,
quickly obey
every command you convey
I grant wishes in three;
falling down on my knees
to please all your needs
as you stomp on my heart
Drawn and q...
Thursday 8th March 2018 7:26 pm
My Confliction with the Conflicted
I seem to look for the beauty in the broken and unfinished, rather than the polish and the shine. I look for a broken heart to fix it, although conflicted in my own mind.
Monday 5th March 2018 9:30 am
Driving Through Cromwell Hill Road
A house is built from bricks and glued
Together to create shelter renewed
A skeleton protecting organs hidden inside,
Waiting for a family to live and reside
Seasons pass and storms blow by
Damage accrues despite how hard it tries
To keep flawless and perfect, societies dream
From beauty to beast, becomes unseen
"I am ugly, marred, broken- why bother trying?"
My purpose is futile, my fut...
Tuesday 13th February 2018 8:09 pm
Brother
I wrote this piece while I was caring for my identical twin brother, following major surgery. Nearly everything you may have heard about identical twins is true.
Brother
The pain of being is not mine, but
my brother's. He cries and howls the Midnight
down into uneasy drowse
as the daylight lifts his covers
over swelling clouds of hurt.
Breaking, I balm him a little,
wh...
Sunday 14th January 2018 4:11 am
I asked
I asked If I wrote for you would you read it? I asked if I still had love for you would you need It? All I can think about is when we on that dock had our first kiss, Cupid shot that arrow and did not miss, How will I get through this? When you asked me to leave caused all this pain, Every day we have been apart has driven me insane.
Wednesday 10th January 2018 8:20 pm
I Am Alive
My Soul is not within me ,I am within my Soul. The essence of my being ,all of my core. I Am my Soul. Battered by Life, Strong but shattered. I Am Alive..I ask myself ;how am I alive...the realization envelopes me completely and the answers sanctified, revealed. Wrapped in the Divine knowledge Soothing,. comforting like only a mothers embrace. Designed in the image of Our Creator; I Believe A moth...
Saturday 19th August 2017 9:58 am
To The Addicts Of The World
To The Addicts Of The World
Cunning baffling and powerful are the words used to describe,
The truth of what addiction is, it will take your life with a knife.
Everything you thought you were becomes lost,
All that you cherish and love, gone at what cost?
Millions of people struggle everyday and it's truly tough,
Knowing that one is too many and a thousand never enough.
Pot, heroin, me...
Monday 27th February 2017 9:50 am
Improv
Soullessly starring into the air
As her body laid lifeless
All this time the Stifled screams
Shut away to keep them at bay,
Any chance to show remorse
Shut down and accused of lies.
If I could tell you one last thing
I love you would be the words to say,
Now I can't see you again
I see the truth that was buried within
I can't help but blame a part of me
As ...
Wednesday 8th February 2017 10:19 am
In the beginning
In the beginning he would wake at every peculiar sound that came from the babies crib
In the beginning he would bring me a beverage as I fed his son whilst the moon was dimly lit
In the beginning he would rush home from work eager to see the family he created
In the beginning we were the people whom he could be himself and escape with
In the beginning we were enough
He wou...
Tuesday 3rd January 2017 2:37 pm
I was young
I was young .. A simple statement that is the answer to many questions I am presented with
Why did you get drunk, and throw up in the hall way?
Why did you leave school, and truant all day?
How did you get pregnant, at just seventeen?
Why did you marry him, given what you had seen?
Doesn't it feel silly, divorcing already?
You're only 21, doesn't your life seem so craz...
Tuesday 3rd January 2017 2:32 pm
He left
He left
He left behind his broken wife and his scared son
He left
He left us cold, all alone with no one
He left
The vows, they meant nothing
The promises, broken
I just wish we meant something
More than just empty words spoken
I cried for days at a time
My young son wiped every tear
Leaving us was a crime
And now, it's been 1 year
An...
Sunday 1st January 2017 11:32 pm
I'm Leaving You
A year or so ago,
if you would like to know;
a thief, she stole my heart.
Then left me all alone.
If I gave her the blame,
well, that'd be a shame.
I could call myself a thief, too.
Just not in the same way.
You see, a thief never returns.
But me? Her heart was always hers.
She stole mine then made the escape,
with mine, hers, and her final words.
...
Friday 14th October 2016 6:04 am
Selfish
How sick is it that I want to strip away all your new found happiness
Squeeze your memory dry of her
Rip open the healed stiches on your heart
And find myself sliding down, inch by inch
Making myself comfortable
In what is rightfully not
Mine
Sunday 24th July 2016 12:17 am
Grisly Girl
Someone's sowed pins and needles into her lips.
Thursday 11th February 2016 2:32 am
A Dream Come True
Feelings that once were hidden
Are now expressed to you.
Days that once were stormy
Are now the brightest blue.
Times that once were lonely
Are now filled with pleasure.
All that once was mine alone
Are now things we both treasure.
Nights that once were cold
Are now comforting and warm.
Fears that once were very real
Are now gone with the storm.
A heart that once was broken
Can now fi...
Tuesday 17th November 2015 12:40 pm
Rehab
"It's like you built a mountain of cocaine for me to get addicted to but then you put me into rehab for snorting in one line."
Friday 22nd May 2015 5:49 am
Mad
I've became so mad at myself for giving in
To what I want
Thinking it would be the greatest time
In my life
But oh no
What a dissappointment
I should have walked away
For you, to play a game that you hate being played.
Play in on me and my heart
Just to get the saticifaction of your unhealthy habit
Like you enjoy living in your dark habitat.
Like an animal holding ...
Sunday 17th May 2015 4:10 am
The Story of my Daydreams
Oh,
Daydreams,
They came back
But the fantasy was gone
They were alive only at night
Frightened of daylight
Moon captured them as the stars
If you saw the stars tonight
Then know
They were my dreams once
Now all I have is ashes
Not from smoked cigarettes or burned houses
But from my bones
What became broken
While my heart was trying to escape.
Friday 20th February 2015 9:49 pm
A Fool
I am not a fool for loving you.
I am not a fool for trusting you.
I am not a fool for giving you
everything that I had.
A fool is not what I am
and a fool is who I shall not be.
It is what you've become
in this situation.
You are the fool for not loving me
the way I deserved to be loved.
You are the fool for not being
the man that you needed to be.
You are the fool for letting me g...
Sunday 21st December 2014 12:57 am
there was a time
Monday 8th April 2013 1:35 am
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