The cup that broke housed a thought.

                     A nascent bud, not blooming yet!

But the hand of chance with the pot,

                  Filled the cup with a different fate!

Smiling lips drank up the infusion.

                  Tho' the process of a nascent mind,

Failed to make that thought sustain!

                      A shattered cup was left behind!

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It’s finally the day to come,

blood mixing in.

Flows like a river

through oceans of sin.

Long past the point

where the numbness was new.

Long past believing

that anything’s true.

Steel against flint,

only flash in this night.

Desperate to see

but it only ignites,

the gasoline soaked

twisted rags in my soul.

No way to stop it

and nowhere t...

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Heard a song of broken halos,
folded wings that used to fly.
Wondered why I go where I go.
Yeah, broken halos as miles went by.

 Angels used to come and teach me,

 now they’ve gone another way.

 Don’t blame them, I told them they should

 find another soul to save.

 Stared at the darkness and let my mind go,

 it took me places I used to shine.

 The song kept playin...

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Nobody's bleeding,

But everybody's hurting,

It's a hidden sickness

That we refuse to accept,

An actor’s part,

Theatrical gestures

Our initial response.

We refuse to believe.

They must be faking,

Raking in the sympathy.

A perfectly played role,

A smile betrays them

As the blind decry them,

It's no broken bone...

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" Hello moon," can you help heal this broken heart

Can you take away the pain of the one I've lost?

The waves crashed loud, my heart beat fast, tears fell down my cheeks as I cried,

"Hello moon" can you help heal this broken heart

Can you take away the pain of the one I've lost?

My feet touched the ocean waves as the moon shined bright on my teary face

I just want to let her go, ...

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I've been broken for as long as i can remember,

welding together the fragmented pieces of my life will be quite the journey!

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Do you ever just have tears fall down your eyes?

You have a memory suddenly flash and your heart begins to beat fast and before you know it you're back in the past 

You are wondering what did you do wrong to deserve all the pain from the one you loved 

You have done everything you can think of to get over the hurt 

You want more than anything to forget her voice, her hugs, her eyes, th...

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When you looked me in the eyes, I wanted to feel your love

To feel the love that you said, was gone

I wanted to believe with all my heart that you would come back...

I wanted to believe that I could be enough

I wanted to believe that we could grow together but the truth is, it was all an illusion created by a stubborn heart,

Instead, I let you close and you hurt me, broke me, and ra...

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In the midst of changing the world, I lost my soul while creating my life. Now when I look back to the time when I was still a kid so full of innocence, kindness, and full of happiness. Now life is like a rat race where all we can think about is just getting more and more involved in work to earn more for a better lifestyle. But have you ever thought of the time when you were a kid and when th...

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 I used to believe that it was me.

That I was broken.

I used to believe that I was the reason you left; that I was too dark to be loved.

That I deserved to be left behind.

I used to believe it was me!

I looked in the mirror everyday and I cried praying to God that he fix me.

Thinking that there was something wrong.

Praying to God that he would make me worthy of your love.

I...

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To hold you in my arms one last time

To feel your touch even though I knew you weren’t really mine

To feel your lips touch mine and again feel your love 

Hoping, dreaming, wishing I could bring you back 

Hoping, dreaming, wishing to fix this shattered heart

But a touch, a kiss, my love wasn’t enough 

You’re not coming back 

You’ve chosen 

And it’s clear now

Your love is ...

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27.07.20

I am a shattered vase 
Pieces picked from the floor 
And placed back together.
Sharp broken shards 
Holding on with everything I've got
Just trying to keep the water in 
Pretending I'm in tact 
Not a shattered broken thing 

From afar I'm a vase 
Unlike any other 
Proudly displaying flowers of many kinds 
But get too close and you can see my cracks
Try to touch me and you ...

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When you left, you took a piece of my heart

When you left, my whole world came tumbling down

I became so lost

I was left in the dark

You took with you my light 

When you left, I learned to fight

I learned to navigate this world without you by my side

I learned to be strong to no longer rely on your love

You thought I was weak,

For feeling too much

Now, you're the one ...

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For a long time you felt that you were weak

For a long time you felt that you weren't loved, that you didn't belong

Too emotional, too many feelings, 

How could anyone or anything ever love the broken human you'ved become

How could anyone see the beautiful you trying to emerge from the dark

For a long time you felt that you were weak

Too emotional, too many feelings, you deserved...

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Sometimes I wonder if you ever loved me

I wonder if you ever felt the way I felt for you

Sometimes I wonder why you stayed by my side so long 

Why did you watch my light slowly die

And then blamed me when it was all gone

Sometimes I wonder why did you fall in love with someone else when you had somone by your side who gave you all her life who gave you her heart

Then I realize th...

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So much of what I hoped to be
has been torn away
in these years of struggle.

Not like old skin, 
whose tiny dry fragments
helpfully disperse,

These pieces of my self 
went differently,
before use, and without replacement.

And when we perceive ourselves
we are not what we are
but also what we were and what we will be
and all of these are missing pieces now.

It has an obvio...

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The suffering, the pain, it’s over now 

All that is left is a pounding heart trying to heal and move on 

A heart that fought so hard to stay alive 

A heart that held on until the last minute the last goodbye 

Thumping, beating, pulsing 

The pain, the suffering made the heart strong 

So strong that it grew a thick wall 

A wall that cannot be broken 

A wall that no longe...

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Sliding through the fog with your 

Illusions of finery

I saw the check engine light when I got in

But your cracked windshield distorted my vision

All I could see was how I felt when

Your leather interior 

Hugged and kissed 

And caressed my body

The cute dates at cute restaurants

Sangria and Seafood

Lies covered in parmesan cheese

Lying about past lives

Lying on ...

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She spoke such pretty little lies
That hypnotized 
Oneself to bend at will
Slowly became to wilt
Like a rose without water
The beauty of red
Began to shed
Into a shattered brown
Cut down 
Till there was nothing left
But a dead rose
And it's thorns.

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We were young 19 and 22
 just me and you 
we went into this blindly 
everything we've gone through wasn't supposed to be taken lightly
 three months in
 and we found out we're having a kid
 we bickered and we fought
 that's how relationships were at least so I thought 
4 months I was afraid
 but for eight years you've stayed
 but not without a glitch 
you f*** that b**** 
I had poured ...

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Here I stand, a broken man
Trying to cope the best I can
Guys are not supposed to cry
We’re macho with our heads held high
But alone I feel a shivering wreck
With mixed up thoughts and mass regrets
Regrets that I just can’t be me
Regrets of the false man you see
Each tiny thought I try to dissect
But each tiny thought then becomes a threat
A threat that I might be exposed
Exposed to tho...

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To learn everyday was what taught to me,
Sinking in an ocean, moving steadily;
It was the ocean of knowledge and believes,
Suddenly the world changed, and power came to cease.

'Look at him, look at her', comparing to the whole world,
Trying my very best, to win in every word.
Becoming a good son, a dear brother and good friend,
But that 'I', was lost in the end.

I became what you want,...

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In a world that is broken and full of crime and hate

There are people who still have faith

Faith that can move mountains and make things well

There are people who believe with all their heart that things can heal

They believe that with faith anything and everything is possible

Through pain, death, and brokeness we must always remember to have a little bit of FAITH

Let God take th...

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Hello, can anyone hear me?

Hello, are you still there listening to my cries?

Listening to me as I fall on my knees, feeling so empty as this world falls apart

Hello, God! I need you! We all need you!

Our world slowly falls and we all begin to feel empty wanting human contact, human touch

God silently watches us and our empty lonely hearts

Waiting, quietly, for us all to call his ...

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I woke up today feeling a bit numb

I woke up today feeling like everything will be fine

I woke up today and decided that I was done

I woke up today and cried

Then I looked in the mirror, I said, " Girl you look fine!"

Then another voice said, " Don't you dare give up!"

So I put on a happy face,

And I headed out to find that girl I once was....

Happy. Beautiful. Strong

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A dark cloud over me

No matter how hard I battled I seemed to be stuck

No matter how hard I tried to overcome the struggle it was eating me alive

Breathe, wake up, walk

What is wrong with you I yelled, " You have God!"

Get up battle, don't give up

Life keeps throwing punches at you

Life keeps making you fall

But fight, fight and be strong

Don't give up

Don't you dare ...

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followed the wrong path, struch down by society

tried to make music but couldnt get the propriety

had the struggles, went through it involuntary

to give my heart to anyone now i am very wary

if you see me smile - im not happy - its rarely

it was my choices that led me here if i put it fairly

no anyone to hold me as i push myself through

not even a father to see how ive grew

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a whiff of caffeine and cologne on your left collar, two cups of decaf 

and half a hug along the plane of our shoulders

       and we took off

with stolen glances at my pendant as red and radiant as the waking sun  

and the mole on the bottom right corner of my cheek, scaled to the size of a period that never surfaced in our conversations 

        our wings welcomed the wind li...

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Beyond The Gone Crowd

     There is a blind that cares for me,

A blind that rolls in the morn and then again, evening,

     The colour, no consequence, no form or

Importance as, when rolled either up, or down,

Colour changes shape and shine, shadow

Within the room where cherubs once sang, and laughed.

     Every morn the roll lifts itself a hope

Of life outside be...

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Above The Fluttering Butterfly

     Today I saw you again,

We spent time in haste and silent tears,

Believing in only faults declared by others,

      Today the time was brief, as if the first

Stage of a future king, a future queen.

     I know the sorrow you live,

For there is my presence, right there

Upon your intuition, right there where

The glance is t...

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Dont worry my brothers,

Save a spot for me cus I'll see you soon.

These thoughts and memories,

The dreams that consume.

Me...

Had me thinking on life, feel choked till I can't breathe.

Losing my people, blinded me to the better things in life I couldn't see.

Losing these people brought tremendous amounts of pain.

Moving on in life, till my heart froze and changed.

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sometimes i wonder how we got to this point

a point where you wonder whats the best

a point where you want to restart and forget

because i thought we're doing our best

giving all the love we have left

but look at us now, 

one has left and doesnt have any regrets

and the other one stood still, full of questions.

shes waiting, waiting and reassuring him that she believes.

...

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"Where does the light go?"

When we face our darkest moments,

When we feel the very foundation of our being cracking and fissuring and looking well beyond repair, we tend to ask ourselves:

Where does the light go?

When will it shine again?

When we feel that all hope is lost,

THE LIGHT begins to SHINE underneath the cracks and fissures of our being.

Where we once saw irreparable...

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I used to be happy

I used to smile

But I am broken

It's been this way for awhile

I used to dream big

I used to be strong

Life got in the way

And it didn't take long

Lying in bed

My heart is racing

My mind won't shut off

These thoughts that I'm facing

Maybe they're better off

Without the burden of me

I feel so lost and alone

I can sense th...

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It's been broken so many times

I began to lose pieces that I thought were all mine

I'm in so deep and the void is so empty

So lost for words, but I don't want sympathy

Holding this heart with my bare hands

Please just take it...I don't understand

Time brought these wounds, yet they're not healed

Permanent scars have left them sealed

I'm scared of being alone and s...

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I'm just a broken doll, Unfortunately, no one can see. I was beaten and battered, But no one could have saved me.

It all began when I was alone on the shelf. The cruel world took me and I couldnt cry for help. I sowed my mouth shut and continued to smile. Nobody is coming to help, not for a long while.

I'm just a broken doll, Now everybody knows. Please forgive me for I do not know how your ...

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Drown my cries with your silent screams,
Push my fears away with your shaking hands.
Listen to me with your deafened ears,
Nod and pretend to actually understand.

Hold me down while I continue to fly,
Look at me through your blinded eyes.
Pretend to see the person you want to,
And tell the truth through your broken lies.

Smile at me through your bleeding tears, 
Push me down as you ca...

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She cried out for help but no one came, 
Once again they ignored her cry.
And now thanks to their deafened ears,
She took her life and choose to die.

She was never really heard or seen,
And still not one person cared.
No one though it would end this way,
No one thought that she would dare.

When they heard this girl was dead,
They all search for a face.
But they find is an empty seat,
...

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your toothy grin
is only cotton
trying to blow down this brick
house I have crafted

you were included in the blueprint
until I started changing 
the locks 
and now you're waiting for
an open door

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Who am I to you?
Do you want me to stick around?
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
But you still don't hear a sound.

Hang me from your promises
As I choke on your words.
You said you want me forever
But you cut my heart in thirds.

Where the fuck were you
When I needed you the most?
My world was crashing down
You turned into a ghost.

You left me all alone
And I've been lost he...

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Baffled, mystified, perplexed and confused,

my darling I have lost my muse,

and at what cost? 

 Is it worth a tormented soul

just to be kept in your control

 I jump when you say

and ask you how high on the way,

quickly obey

every command you convey 

I grant wishes in three;

falling down on my knees

to please all your needs

as you stomp on my heart

Drawn and q...

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I seem to look for the beauty in the broken and unfinished, rather than the polish and the shine. I look for a broken heart to fix it, although conflicted in my own mind. 

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A house is built from bricks and glued
Together to create shelter renewed
A skeleton protecting organs hidden inside, 
Waiting for a family to live and reside
Seasons pass and storms blow by
Damage accrues despite how hard it tries
To keep flawless and perfect, societies dream
From beauty to beast, becomes unseen
"I am ugly, marred, broken- why bother trying?"
My purpose is futile, my fut...

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I wrote this piece while I was caring for my identical twin brother, following major surgery. Nearly everything you may have heard about identical twins is true.

Brother

The pain of being is not mine, but

my brother's. He cries and howls the Midnight

down into uneasy drowse

as the daylight lifts his covers

over swelling clouds of hurt.

Breaking, I balm him a little,

wh...

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I asked If I wrote for you would you read it? I asked if I still had love for you would you need It? All I can think about is when we on that dock had our first kiss, Cupid shot that arrow and did not miss, How will I get through this? When you asked me to leave caused all this pain, Every day we have been apart has driven me insane.

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to he who was

who is

who will be

do not hinder my growth

because

you are not my sun

shining 

but today

in this moment

i am 

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I’ve been walking up and down the halls of my mind

Studying the library of our conversations

Searching through the labyrinth of your actions

[Trying to find the course of their meaning]

You left my maddened mind without answers

Knowing its potential to psycho analyze and deconstruct every moment

To find some comfort in a resolution

A scientist studying the natural disaste...

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My Soul is not within me ,I am within my Soul. The essence of my being ,all of my core. I Am my Soul. Battered by Life, Strong but shattered. I Am Alive..I ask myself ;how am I alive...the realization envelopes me completely and the answers sanctified, revealed. Wrapped in the Divine knowledge Soothing,. comforting like only a mothers embrace. Designed in the image of Our Creator; I Believe A moth...

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To The Addicts Of The World

Cunning baffling and powerful are the words used to describe,
The truth of what addiction is, it will take your life with a knife.
Everything you thought you were becomes lost,
All that you cherish and love, gone at what cost?

Millions of people struggle everyday and it's truly tough,
Knowing that one is too many and a thousand never enough.
Pot, heroin, me...

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Soullessly starring into the air

As her body laid lifeless

All this time the Stifled screams

Shut away to keep them at bay, 

Any chance to show remorse

Shut down and accused of lies. 

If I could tell you one last thing

I love you would be the words to say,

Now I can't see you again

I see the truth that was buried within 

I can't help but blame a part of me

As ...

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