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The Endless Brawl

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PTSD Pt 2

The Endless Brawl

 

I had to go to Thetford to get a trooper from a cell

He was locked up there for fighting; he was mad as hell

He decided he’d go AWOL; that is absent without leave

He told a little porky, and everyone was deceived

 

He had a special skill that made most folks believe

But almost everything he said was simply make-believe

A Walter Mitty type...

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DEATHGUILTIEDPTSD

Lost in the field of battle.

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PTSD Pt 1

Lost in the field of battle.

 

I watch in silence and dismay

Ashamed; unsure of what to say

Racked with guilt and seared with pain

The awful silence intrudes again

 

Ascending with a deafening roar

To a crescendo now, as your tears pour

The tear tracks stain, run down your cheek

Caused by the havoc and pain I wreak

 

Inside my mind, my screaming’s h...

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PTSDThe ceasless unending war.

FATE

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The greatest things in life cannot be seen,

Like happiness, love and serenity,

Anger, malice, wrath and rage,

I'm sick of these feelings as I grow with age,

There's more to life than being locked up,

Slamming dope and running amuck,

Looking over my shoulders the paranoia doesn't stop,

The fun is all gone and the streets are too hot,

Life on the run has turn into a drag,

...

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accidentblunt force traumacatillacdeathFatefucked upGod shotlifeNear deathnear death experiencePTSDran overroad rash/burnssurgerytrauma

PTSD

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iCTy-kX0Fk

 

 

PTSD

Hello darkness my old friend, once again I must pretend

On my face a smile so wide, hides the pain within I hide

A very sunny disposition, eludes, evades, my true condition

                                Within the sounds of silence

Painted smile upon my face, the truth wills out, when erased

Standing naked within the...

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PTSD

Touchstone

You ask if I'm okay,
because I am 
unusually quiet 
today.

I'm just trying to keep memories 
behind the flood gates
so they don't sweep me away
to a dark place.

Thank you for being my escape,
a bright light,
my way home, 
my touchstone. 

Your love helps ease the pain.
I don't mean to push you away.
There are so many things I want to say,
but I must go, feed Jake. 

https://y...

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bestfriendsdogslovePTSDrelationshipsveteranwar

Wolf

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Get out
Go away,
I've been working hard
For too many days.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Not with you there
Herding all my sheep.

Get out
Go away,
My head's so full
And heavy with clay.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Afraid of monsters
That are sure to creep.

Get out
Go away,
I never said
That you could stay.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Could end it all
With just... one... leap...

Back...

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ptsdtrauma

Manipulation

Touch me
Burn me
Hurt me
Break me
Ache me
Caress me
Kiss me
Cuddle me
Feel me
Hit me
Rub me
Taste me
Grope me
...kill me

Backdated 10/8/19

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ptsdtrauma

Illusion

I am yours,
Or so it seems.
I give my all,
My everything.
Every night,
You continue to take.
My silent screams,
"I'll break! I'll break!"
But still, you chase,
Still you win.
And once again,
I’ll give in.
I give my all,
My everything.
Because I am yours,
Or so it seems.

Backdated 10/8/19

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ptsdtruama

Passion

Come in
Slide behind
Start our rhythm
Get on your grind
Forget my feelings
I'm losing my mind
Don't need real life
To you I'm blind
Can feel every ache
Wish I could rewind
Know I'll always be hurt
To you, I am confined
Just waiting for the day
To be reassigned

Backdated 10/7/19

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molestationnightmareptsdtrauma

Onus (TRIGGER WARNING)

I know what's coming,
I want to run away.
Maybe a deeper desire,
Always makes me stay.

He slips in behind me
Cuddles and watches TV.
Then he touches me and moves me,
And never once with a plea.

His rhythm begins,
One leg bracing me in.
Leaving his hand down my pants
Grabbing at my skin.

With fury and anger
His force comes to an abrupt halt.
Unsatisfied and unloved,
I'm left shaking,...

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molestationptsdtrauma

New Sheets (TRIGGER WARNING)

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The lights dim and a curtain's drawn,
A quiet theater as the show begins.
It's the same reel playing on repeat,
A shattered heartbroken from sin.

He lies next to her as he'd always done,
Reliving his day through adventurous stories.
But something about him had changed that night,
The girl became something he had to seize.

A kiss of the lips catches her off guard,
"I'm sorry" escapes from ...

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MolestationPTSDRapeStepdadTrauma

MOD ~ PTSD Part ii

MOD – PTSD    Part ii

‘They’ said that he was ‘shipshape’ A1, and good to go

So that’s precisely what this Trooper did, he left and went AWOL.

 

In the morning, the Captain asked me, “Nip to Thetford and retrieve

a naughty Trooper who’d been locked up, for being absent without leave."

 

Upon entering the police station and removing him from his cell

I then drove him back to...

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mental health issuesPTSDsuicide attemptsuicide bomber

MOD ~ PTSD Part i

MOD – PTSD

Last night the MOD said… “The health of those who serve our country is of the utmost importance, which is why we strive to give them the very best care”

 

Just two words to say  #### Off

 

I can’t remember the first word… I need a (mTBIs)

I hear there are a couple of scanners out there somewhere,    I just can’t remember where!

 

Po

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mental healthPoPTSDsuicide

R and R

Rest and Relaxation

Arriving on the Voyager, leaving Brize for R&R

Past the guardroom, leave the gate, travelling in a car

Norfolk bound upon the roads, along the countryside

Every where’s so green!    It’s like I'm on a joy ride.

 

Then the rain began to fall, the wipers side by side

Like a metronome, they swept, almost made me cry

It’s just raining, yes!  I thought, I’ve ...

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PoPTSDR&Rwar

The demons that only I knew

Would you believe me

If I told you the truth

Would you stay with me,

Or would you just leave?

Would you still feel 

The way that you do

If you saw me kneel

Before the demons so cruel?

I tried to escape

But it fell right through

It was never fate

What should I do?

I didn't mean to fail 

I did choose you

But the monsters fight

Harder than I'm able to

I...

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anziwtybipolarcreaturesDemonsdepressionmental healthmental illnessmonsterspsychosisptsdtired

Can't Escape

You try to escape the demons

But they latch on way too tight,

Their claws digging into my body

And mind, with all their might.

 

Fighting is exhausting,

It physically and mentally drains.

But still I endure it, hoping

One day I will finally escape the pain.

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anxietybattlecan't escapedemonsdepressionexhaustedhopeillnessmaniamental battlemental healthmental health issuesmental illnesspoetry and mental healthptsdrage

Ricochet

Shells fly overhead,

            dust kicking up in the air

filling the lungs,

            and choking the life

            from the blank eyes.

Staring up wide eyed and teary

            as the life slips away,

Laying there bare to the bone

            stripped of the soul

            lost to the sea of dust and rubble

            laying underfoot of the building

...

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poetryPTSDwar poetry

Flash Backs `N` Nightmares

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{Flash Backs `N` Nightmares} 

 

 

 

The bad flash backs `n` nightmares haunt's my life `n` mind `n` memory today it washes over my whole body almost crippling it like the first time it occurred it's purely agony on my poor old soul that I wish would disappear from me because it's a wrecking ball to my life today 

 

 

`N` I can still see the flash backs `n` nightmares of the bu...

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flash backslifelivingmilitary poemmilitary poetrynightmaresOne_Pissed_Off_American_Ghost_Writer/Tina GloverpoempoetryPTSDshort storiesstoriesTina Gloverwriting

My Muse Is Dead

Beige walls stand empty where original artworks once hung
A woman, beyond her years in mind and body, sits at her desk
Staring at a screen that, despite vast knowledge at her fingertips
Is empty
The cloud of cognizance that enveloped her has cleared
Ridiculed by those she trusted
"Over medicated"
No more pills
No more gange
Nothing to help control the demons within her mind
There is no feeling o...

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adhdartistsbipolarBipolar depression sadnessbulliesdepressiongiving up on passionsgiving up on peoplemedicationmental illnessocdprocessing emotionsptsdshame

Live On - Awake Till Death

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Live On – Awake Till Death

 

Aye Aye Aye

 

Aye Aye

 

So what are you dreaming,

What visions are keeping you entertained night, and day??

Loved ones, hated ones - winning ones - losing ones.

 

What’s on your mind?

That’s what ‘they’ want to know!

That’s the secret see, keeping it to yourself,

Keeping it all to yourself,

Your dreams, your fantasy’s, no matte...

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PTSD

THE SPOILS OF WAR

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And the troops go marching proudly by

as she wipes a tear from her weary eyes,

the one that she seeks, she will never again hold

for he died at his post; he was thirty years old.

 

The colours fly high on a cool autumn breeze

as man and boy march with well practiced ease,

so glad to be home after being so brave,

with flags overhead and not covering their graves.

 

She...

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ironylossPTSDTRAUMAwar poetry

Craiglockhart (Not Yet Diagnosed Nervous)

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Craiglockhart (Not Yet Diagnosed Nervous)

When I kicked over the wheelchair
I couldn’t do the simplest task,
except the epileptic flailing
of my military antimasque.
Turning on the hissing gas-lamp
had me reaching for the mask.
You opened up my mind
and you didn’t even ask.

Sh-sh-sh shut the fuck up,
I think I’m going insane,
I’ve got all these bombs
going off in my brain.
I’m lik...

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Craiglockhart Miliotary Hospitalmental illnessPTSDrichpixShell ShockSITWBtreatmentWW1

The Earths Core

The Earths Core

 

I am sat in front of its secret eye,

And I wanna kick fuck out of it,

It watches everything I do,

I pick my nose in front of it,

Wack off,

Swear,

Drink

Bite my nails

And pick my scabby scalp,

     It looks at me with pleasure,

For it seeks only the demeaning

Of my being,

And I find nowadays

My dick is cold,

My mind colder still,

...

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PTSD

The Borrow

The Borrow

 

 

     ‘Oh how the mighty have fallen’

     They say,

Referencing the frail, the fat, the fucked,

     And,

You couldn’t wait to bring them down,

Watching till they’re frail, they’re fat, they’re fucked

     Yet,

You never really knew,

Never knew the sacrifice they made

     Still,

     You’re envious,

Laughing with scorn labe...

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PTSD

THE RADIO TELEGRAPHIST

THE RADIO TELEGRAPHIST

 

     It doesn’t come easy,

Being a Radio Telegraphist –

For the MOD,

And when you’re done,

When you have finally

Had it all drummed in,

     Your ears are opened

In ways a civilian just

Wouldn’t understand,

 

     You’re sat there

In the back of a soft-top

Or a four three two

Or you’re out on patrol,

But yo...

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PTSDRadio

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