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MOD ~ PTSD Part ii

MOD – PTSD    Part ii

‘They’ said that he was ‘shipshape’ A1, and good to go

So that’s precisely what this Trooper did, he left and went AWOL.

 

In the morning, the Captain asked me, “Nip to Thetford and retrieve

a naughty Trooper who’d been locked up, for being absent without leave."

 

Upon entering the police station and removing him from his cell

I then drove him back to...

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mental health issuesPTSDsuicide attemptsuicide bomber

MOD ~ PTSD Part i

MOD – PTSD

Last night the MOD said… “The health of those who serve our country is of the utmost importance, which is why we strive to give them the very best care”

 

Just two words to say  #### Off

 

I can’t remember the first word… I need a (mTBIs)

I hear there are a couple of scanners out there somewhere,    I just can’t remember where!

 

Po

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R and R

Rest and Relaxation

Arriving on the Voyager, leaving Brize for R&R

Past the guardroom, leave the gate, travelling in a car

Norfolk bound upon the roads, along the countryside

Every where’s so green!    It’s like I'm on a joy ride.

 

Then the rain began to fall, the wipers side by side

Like a metronome, they swept, almost made me cry

It’s just raining, yes!  I thought, I’ve ...

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PoPTSDR&Rwar

The demons that only I knew

Would you believe me

If I told you the truth

Would you stay with me,

Or would you just leave?

Would you still feel 

The way that you do

If you saw me kneel

Before the demons so cruel?

I tried to escape

But it fell right through

It was never fate

What should I do?

I didn't mean to fail 

I did choose you

But the monsters fight

Harder than I'm able to

I...

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anziwtybipolarcreaturesDemonsdepressionmental healthmental illnessmonsterspsychosisptsdtired

Can't Escape

You try to escape the demons

But they latch on way too tight,

Their claws digging into my body

And mind, with all their might.

 

Fighting is exhausting,

It physically and mentally drains.

But still I endure it, hoping

One day I will finally escape the pain.

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anxietybattlecan't escapedemonsdepressionexhaustedhopeillnessmaniamental battlemental healthmental health issuesmental illnesspoetry and mental healthptsdrage

Ricochet

Shells fly overhead,

            dust kicking up in the air

filling the lungs,

            and choking the life

            from the blank eyes.

Staring up wide eyed and teary

            as the life slips away,

Laying there bare to the bone

            stripped of the soul

            lost to the sea of dust and rubble

            laying underfoot of the building

...

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poetryPTSDwar poetry

Flash Backs `N` Nightmares

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{Flash Backs `N` Nightmares} 

 

 

 

The bad flash backs `n` nightmares haunt's my life `n` mind `n` memory today it washes over my whole body almost crippling it like the first time it occurred it's purely agony on my poor old soul that I wish would disappear from me because it's a wrecking ball to my life today 

 

 

`N` I can still see the flash backs `n` nightmares of the bu...

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flash backslifelivingmilitary poemmilitary poetrynightmaresOne_Pissed_Off_American_Ghost_Writer/Tina GloverpoempoetryPTSDshort storiesstoriesTina Gloverwriting

My Muse Is Dead

Beige walls stand empty where original artworks once hung
A woman, beyond her years in mind and body, sits at her desk
Staring at a screen that, despite vast knowledge at her fingertips
Is empty
The cloud of cognizance that enveloped her has cleared
Ridiculed by those she trusted
"Over medicated"
No more pills
No more gange
Nothing to help control the demons within her mind
There is no feeling o...

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adhdartistsbipolarBipolar depression sadnessbulliesdepressiongiving up on passionsgiving up on peoplemedicationmental illnessocdprocessing emotionsptsdshame

In a forest clearing

entry picture

 

Witheringly he hung

like unpicked fruit

life strung him up

not far from his root

 

Others flourished

blooming they grew

opportunities nourished

for the fortunate few

 

That this was his end

beneath the bent tree

and I his one friend

tell me how can that be

 

He with such hope

that never found flight

who danced on a rope

and extinguished a ...

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friendshiphopelifelossPTSDsuicidetruth

A list of this years things

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A sodden amygdala,

stagnant as dead liver.

Clogged by memories magma,

too stubborn to deliver.

 

Stuck inside, unfiltered.

A husbands punch,

a child's last breath.

The liquid lunch

to quench the death.

 

The heroin friends

who met common ends,

their purple faces

filled the lens.

 

The thunderous rain of dust

that came blinding in the night,

has...

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AmygdalaMemoriesMoving onProcessing traumaPTSD

Live On - Awake Till Death

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Live On – Awake Till Death

 

Aye Aye Aye

 

Aye Aye

 

So what are you dreaming,

What visions are keeping you entertained night, and day??

Loved ones, hated ones - winning ones - losing ones.

 

What’s on your mind?

That’s what ‘they’ want to know!

That’s the secret see, keeping it to yourself,

Keeping it all to yourself,

Your dreams, your fantasy’s, no matte...

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PTSD

Field Hospital

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In carotid painted tunnel's

slick with scarlet beauty,

float psychotic waking dream's

where automatons do duty.

 

Their mouths closed dumb  

their stained hands steady

they triage unto guilt,

"he’ll live,

but that one's dead already"

 

Amygdala cocktail

so refined and finely tuned,

that all who ever sup 

become,

irreversibly marooned.

 

Hell is wh...

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adrenalin junkiecombat medicsdamageField HospitalsMSFPTSD

Hopeful seeds

With all the hurly burly done,

and march to war forgot

the prize contested, still un-won

bones bared by deaths foul rot.

 

Conflicts noise not yet expelled,

the years between that day to this

are firmly in the cortex held,

in shocking flash of combats kiss.

 

It taunts and mocks

the fragile mind

to haunt and deal its wicked hand,

so prevalent they are to find

...

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legacyMacbethPTSDwar

THE SPOILS OF WAR

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And the troops go marching proudly by

as she wipes a tear from her weary eyes,

the one that she seeks, she will never again hold

for he died at his post; he was thirty years old.

 

The colours fly high on a cool autumn breeze

as man and boy march with well practiced ease,

so glad to be home after being so brave,

with flags overhead and not covering their graves.

 

She...

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ironylossPTSDTRAUMAwar poetry

Craiglockhart (Not Yet Diagnosed Nervous)

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Craiglockhart (Not Yet Diagnosed Nervous)

When I kicked over the wheelchair
I couldn’t do the simplest task,
except the epileptic flailing
of my military antimasque.
Turning on the hissing gas-lamp
had me reaching for the mask.
You opened up my mind
and you didn’t even ask.

Sh-sh-sh shut the fuck up,
I think I’m going insane,
I’ve got all these bombs
going off in my brain.
I’m lik...

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Craiglockhart Miliotary Hospitalmental illnessPTSDrichpixShell ShockSITWBtreatmentWW1

The Earths Core

The Earths Core

 

I am sat in front of its secret eye,

And I wanna kick fuck out of it,

It watches everything I do,

I pick my nose in front of it,

Wack off,

Swear,

Drink

Bite my nails

And pick my scabby scalp,

     It looks at me with pleasure,

For it seeks only the demeaning

Of my being,

And I find nowadays

My dick is cold,

My mind colder still,

...

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PTSD

The Borrow

The Borrow

 

 

     ‘Oh how the mighty have fallen’

     They say,

Referencing the frail, the fat, the fucked,

     And,

You couldn’t wait to bring them down,

Watching till they’re frail, they’re fat, they’re fucked

     Yet,

You never really knew,

Never knew the sacrifice they made

     Still,

     You’re envious,

Laughing with scorn labe...

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PTSD

THE RADIO TELEGRAPHIST

THE RADIO TELEGRAPHIST

 

     It doesn’t come easy,

Being a Radio Telegraphist –

For the MOD,

And when you’re done,

When you have finally

Had it all drummed in,

     Your ears are opened

In ways a civilian just

Wouldn’t understand,

 

     You’re sat there

In the back of a soft-top

Or a four three two

Or you’re out on patrol,

But yo...

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