From: Jaxy To: Love

Expressions of Love: Part VII

Title: From: Jaxy To: Love

Ms. Love,

I've written a million letters and more about my feelings for you. I even once told you I could write a book. While it is not in the traditional way, I'm working on that book. Through poetry, letters, notes, and spoken word I am writing the saga that has been our life to this point. Our story will continue to grow, just ...

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love lettersHappiness


Expressions of Love: Part VI

Title: Time

Time flows by
Like the silky fabric
Of her dress
Each ticking second
A slight touch 
Each ticking minute
A flowing twist
Each ticking hour
A small rustle
The fabric of time
Is the fabric of her dress



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The Night Is Ours

Expressions of Love: Part V

Title: The Night Is Ours

The night was long
But it felt so short
Short as the breath
She expends with each movement
Of her body
As she entangles herself
Within my own
The long night 
Becomes our own



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Love and lust

The Honor of a Knight

Expressions of Love: Part IV

Title: The Honor of a Knight


I don't usually prepare...well

Every action a procrastination...usually

But here I am...surprisingly

Creating lists to keep on track...barely


Every item of yours

I pack into a box

Contains a tiny piece

Of a much larger puzzle

Known as her soul

I get to carry these pieces

With the honor of a whit...

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Hear My Thoughts

Expressions of Love: Part III

Title: Hear My Thoughts

Hear now

Hear my thoughts

These thoughts of you

As I drive alone

Through the night

The distance between each lightpole

Like the pulse of my heart

As it reaches out to you

Beating strong against all odds 

When the snare of a drum

Is like the tail of the snake 

That is your soul

Such a beautiful sound


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thoughts that keep you awake

How I feel now

Expressions of Love: Part II

Title: How I feel now


There was this idea

An idea full of passion

And love

My plan was to do this

To write

Everyday a little letter

Of my love to you

Packaged into a book

And given in a year

How I felt then, is not how I feel now

I thought the words would find me

Yet sometimes days passed

Where not a drop of ink

Could b...

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expressions of love

An Expression of Love

Expressions of Love: Part I

Written On/For: 4/4/2023 / 02/14/2023

Title: An Expression of Love


Sticky notes cover my brain

Thousands laying on top of each other

Each note is a scribbled remembrance

Of the things you hold dear

Of your favorite foods

Of your likes and dislikes

Each note a thought of you

And as time moves on

I will keep these sticky notes

And ...

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In the morning, my eyes open

Expressions of Love: Part XLIX

Written On/For: 4/4/2023

Title: In the morning, my eyes open


In the morning,

My eyes open

They open to the sight

Of your beautiful amber eyes

Hidden beneath lids of slumber

In the low light clouding my vision

I study your sleeping form

Like a scholar eager to glean more knowledge

I watch the rise and fall of your chest

And img...

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I Write In Pen

Expressions of Love: Part XLIII

Title: I Write In Pen


I write in pen.

Because, like our relationship,

It is final.

There is no going back,

only forward; ink building

and growing like our connection,

every single day.



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It has occured to me

Several times now

That I've never written 

Of my dad

Somewhere between the moment

He saved me from the chaos

And the moment he stopped being my hero

I seemed to have lost access

To the prerequsites

I need to write about any individual


You see?

My dad is four things

A Dragon, A Wolf, A Eagle, A Elk


A Dragon

Speaks from experie...

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There are days

Where my emotions

Consume me

Like they are engorging

Themselves upon a

Seven course meal


And sometimes

They preserve me 

Like they are slowly


Slurping down a bowl of cereal

On a lazy spring morning


Today is not a lazy spring morning

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Mi Amor

Expressions of Love: Part XXII

Title: Mi Amor


las explicaciones me fallan, Mi Amor


las palabras salen de mi pecho y son

aparentemente incomprensibles, Mi Amor


la felicidad que das, es como el viento

soplando en mi rostro, Mi Amor


es como la profunda bocanada de aire

que tomas en una fresca manana de invierno, Mi Amor


es como la sensacion de darle...

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During moments of purity
I find my chest tight
The familiar feel of panic
As I wonder how long it will last
Pressure building
Like an elephant 
Placing its foot upon my center
These moment of purity
Are not always happy
But sometimes they can be
When the raw feelings build up
Yet they don't come out
Almost trapped
Inside of the vault of my body
And I forgot the passcode
They scream ...

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each piece that falls to the ground, he reaches down to pick up and put back in its proper place. as she falls apart, he holds her crumbling form as the support of a skyscraper holds the building upright. as she trips and falls, he stands there with his hand extended to help her back to her feet. as she takes her steps, he holds his arm out for her to take if she needs. he loves her. he loves her ...

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The sun rises
watched it more than once
listen to birds
sing their songs
the sound of rustling
in the song of the wind
the smell 
and close to the ground
branches creaking
from the weight of 
all alone
I've watched the sunrise
watched it many times
yet this time
as the sun crests
the mountain ever yonder
I hear the footsteps
light and crisp
sure but unsure

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I see pain
in your eyes
almost your best
your best friend
ever present inside
and outside too
what to do
how to help
heal your 

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The Curse of Distrust

The sound of your voice
as your walls come up
the sacred inability 
to fully trust
like words resting
on the tip of your tongue
you want it to come out
but can't quite get it

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Backwards Waterfall

I listen to these words
as I fall through the water
accumulating down below
I listen as you sing
your sad sad song
like falling up a waterfall
of emotion
falling in reverse
but always looping

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The Sound

I know the sound
of your mind
as if I knew my own
I hear your voice
when you say nothing
at all

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Mmmmmm, she said
and only I knew what she meant
Mmm, she said
and then she sounded mad
Hmmmm, she said
in clearest tone of inquisition
Hmm, she said
as if she didn't know what to say
You see
I know what you mean
You don't need to say
But could you please
It would mean the world to me

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Recently I fell out of love
Recently I fell into Love
It was an accident
Was it fate?
Opens my eyes
Things I never
Could ever be 
Brings me happieness
Before it was 
Not to replace my 
But in addition 
I know what
Brings to the
And I accept 
Never judging or
Love knows what


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I cannot 
But I want to
The words
Just don't
I feel big
That I don't 
How to deal with
I can work through
But I cannot
I cannot
And it hurts

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Anxiety...My Friend

As this feeling
I feel in my chest
Eats away
My soul
And the emotions
it produces
I stop to wonder
When will it go
Is my best friend
My closest enemy
Is there
For me
And asks one million
Placing un-needed
Within my mind
The intentions
Of those around
My friend
Please let me be
I do not
Need you

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I am the Tinker
I take everything apart
I learn how it works
I put it back together
I make it better
I am the Tinker

He is the Tinker
He sees something broken
He has just the thing to fix it
He digs through his collection
He finds the missing piece
He is the Tinker

She is the Tinker
She inspects the Tinker
She can see his ticking heart
She watches a screw fall
She gives the...

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Just me and I

I live in a land On a bank Looking over an ocean I live in a land Where my future Is always bright But never clear On that bank I sit there thinking Wondering why The sun never quite sets Looiking at that ocean I see nothing Nothing but space I live in a land Where space is close Enough to reach From my bank All it takes Is one short walk ...

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Side-Eyed Grin

He took her side-eyed grin

and planted it upon a hill....

the perfect spot 

for a magnificent tree

to spread its wings

like roots

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The Breeze of Life

The breeze of lust
flows through the forest
of my heart
like a fallen ember
igniting the soul
of souls
housed within the growth
that has been my shield
The breeze of love
coalesces from the ocean
of my mind
like a gentle touch
filling my soul
of souls
housed within the depth
that has been my home
The breeze of lust
The breeze of love
together form one
to become
The breeze of li...

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Can I?

I know I'm not supposed to

But can I?

I know what I should do

But can I?

I know I want to

But can I?

I've waited for so long

But everytime it seemed right

It wasn't

Here I am again

Teetering on the edge

Of what I should do 

And what I want to do

I know what I want to do

But can I?

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Morning Sip

Beep, beep, beep

The alarm goes


The bed goes

Pop, snap, crack

The person goes

Drip, drip, drop

The coffee goes

Sip, breath in, ahhh

The person goes

This is the

Morning Sip

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The Rain

The Rain is a wonderful being

She gracfully falls upon my skin
Lessening the impact
Of feelings within my crater filled mind
Distracting me 
From the high-pitched sound
Of anxiety induced anxiety

She quietly whispers in my ear
Presenting a path
Where the language of empathy lies
Protecting me
From the battle scars of betrayal
Of those tasked to protect

She softly touches the dep...

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Been a While

To think it's been so long

Since I last saw you

This side of my persona

Has been stashed away

Like a cache of personalities

Itching to get out

Often I use this frame

Of reference

To get through a tough moment

I'm not so lost

I'm not so hurt

I'm not so confused

But I still need you

To myself who stashed myself


Here I am

And I'm sorry

It's been...

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here we go
lets talk about hope
what does it mean to you
that question can not always be answered
but it can be thought about

hope is a pianist
long fingers striking the keys
they move like water
like fluid
and the sound oh the sound
is like ambrosia
as the pianist plays
the song is sang
and we are transfered into his heart
where a little light
lays dormant
small and harmless

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the waves

they say ride the waves

but to me

those things are scary

the thought

of them crashing again and again

drives me crazy

there is no controlling these waves

back and forth

all without guidance

or the touch

of a gentle hand

the waves

are angry i can see

thats why

they crash the way they do

but the question lays

why are they mad?

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If only you could see

That I'm crying

Deep inside

My lonely chest

If only you could know

That I am at fault

For all that has happened

Between us

If only you could hear

The sorrow in my voice

As I speak

As I breath

As I blink

As I listen

If you could only understand

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Here I lay

Listening to silence

My mind starts to wander

Diving into the abyss

Swimming through an ocean

Of thoughts and voices 

What I think


What I see


It's all real

So when I say

My brain is dangerous

Don't think I'm lying

What's coming for me

May come for you

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There's a place 

I like to go

Deep into the woods

It's where I hide

From all of you

The only place

To call my home 

I can breathe without


I can see 

Further than possible

Dammit can't you see

I'm dying inside

Wonder please

Why I want to get away

You know

Know why

I blame myself

For all I've done

I hate my self

There I've said


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I wish 

You could see


Through my eyes

The world

So much color

Greens and blues

Reds purples and yellows

Every refraction of light

Known to man

Can you see now

Do you understand


Take a step back 

Look at those trees

Mountains in the background

Fields of flowers

Really look!

See what I am 

Through my eyes

Into yours

I wish


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I remember

A wooden dock

I used to wait for 

The mermaid of my heart

Though she ran every time 

I remember

Walking through the woods

Hearing her voice



More than a voice

Just a peek

Only a glimpse

I remember 

How dark my soul

Used to be

No colors to keep

Me company

I wonder 

If she saw this

I wonder if she ran

Because ...

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The dust 

That is my thoughts

Swirl around

Making tiny tornados 

The abrasive 

Grains of sand

Hurt me

They torment me

Blowing about

Making the smallest

Of cuts

Taking no care

The pain

Of my thoughts

That are 

My spinning tornado

Turn me

Into the dust


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Some new stuff

hey guys here is some of my new stuff. i wrote it during my 30 day stay in the mobi desert for some training! hope y'all enjoy 


There are whispers

That only some hear

Little sounds

That swirl about

Speaking nothing

But yet saying everything

These little voices 

Taunt me 

And it hurts

They used to be mine

My friends

Now that all laugh

I ask why

The rea...

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