The Eagle Woman is made of shale 
layers of life loam, which weigh her down
She is subsumed by ten white men who have killed every ounce of her outward nature.
Men like granite who glance her way
Not seeing the feathers pearlescent, buried, fused with the debris of past bullies.
Though she rises up to the thermals with wings that only God himself can capitulate.

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I’ve seen miracles happen before my eyes,

witnessed empty souls become human again.

More than human, I’ve seen them struggle

and fight against an invisible,

yet all-consuming, foe. One who is

dark, deceptive, relentless and cruel.

I’ve watched them grow with a determination,

grace and humility unknown to the masses.

They have found new depths of consciousness

and un...

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OUR NEW NORMAL Life during a pandemic. Already change is challenging for most. If we had a choice or I should rather say, control things would remain the same, people's thinking would never evolve, but we don't have control over anything. Change is inevitable; it is an integral part of being human. Going about our lives blissfully oblivious believing that we are the captains of our destinies, then...

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Where now you keep your things
Shall all be empty.
Where cleared for you, a space,
Shall be an eerie gap
In all our lives, when you move on.

The essence of your favourite spray
Shall linger, strong;
A poignant reminder of where you used to sleep.
The sadness and the gladness are as one;
Knowing that you'll leave here to be free.

And so it is with all the memories;
Each individual, t...

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And so what if I'm empty inside!
Happiness still has a place here
There's certainly plenty of space here
for Joy to reside
That's what, if I'm empty inside.

And so what if I've nothing to lose!
With little worth keeping
There's more time for sleeping
Or whatever I choose
That's what if I've nothing to lose.

And so what if I've nothing to gain!
That's hardly an onus
Seems more like ...

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I have rebuilt myself before
Because life often pulls me down.
I get gradually unhinged
I end up scattered on the ground.

I have rebuilt myself before
Well enough to carry on
Only to find
   Never firm against everything.
   Never resilient as I'd need,
But life has taught me many things,

So rather than be afraid
That this world might leave me battered,
Or this world might leave me...

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I stood beneath a whispering tree
Upon a windy day
Singing into the careless breeze
My cares they blew away.
Then finally I clearly heard
What nature did avow
And I could see the sun at last
Beyond the leafy boughs.

Yes, finally I clearly hear
What nature does avow
And I can see the sun at last
Beyond the leafy boughs.

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First, fumigate

Your cell walls fresh-free

of their love.

Second.

Odious

poison barbed

bitter nothings

must be dumbly plucked from each pink pore,

thrown to landfill,

labelled 'Hazardous biowaste, may cause hideous burns'.

Third, make re-chaste your newly bleach-scoured bone and blotted clean flesh 

with a sore blessing of Domestos and clov...

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I've been burned
And risen again
Proud of my new coat
Of feathers
I've been burned again
And risen
Proud of my new coat of feathers
And unafraid of fire.
 

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I am from prose into poetry
I am from madness into sanity
I am from doubt into belief

I am from anguish into ecstasy
I am from isolation into company
I am from hatred into peace

I am from discord into harmony
I am from solo into symphony
I am from restraint into release

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I have the rarest flower
Growing in my inner self.
I first had to protect it,
But now it’s taken root.

Small shoots of green,
Surviving where was barren.
Little tiny leaves,
Pattern uncommon.

I have the rarest flower
Living, thriving inside.
Makes me certain, what else happens,
That I can survive
Just like it.

As I wait for it to flower,
With its petals unfurled,
I wonder what...

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A pale face, dark eyes, an uneasy smile,

Surrounded by a mass of tangly black curls,

She sat in that circle

Unengaged, aloof, disruptive,

There for everyone else’s sake

But her own.

Trapped in a world by demons who

Would let her see another way

But kept her from it because

It wouldn’t serve their obsessive needs.

Within screaming distance but held behind thick glass,

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Its been dry for far too long

The air's got parched and dusty

I'm praying hard for rain to fall

My life's been arid and musty

I see how you led me to love you

That easy flattery your smiles

I fell headlong into your arms

Tripped by those practised wiles

If only it would rain today

And wash away my tears

Is that thunder that I hear

Cleansing as it nears?

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I don't miss you...not really.

I don't even want you...not really.

My empty heart is full of anger and regret, an infection that needs to be detoxed from inside me.

I can feel the grip of what could have been dissolving with every sip of self affirmation and every caplet of affection I imbibe. 

I lick my wounds and feel the poison of jealousy and the sting of my injured pride slowly fa...

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I've tended to have an old fashioned view of libraries - a very positive one, but limited to book borrowing, quiet spaces for reading and a children's corner. Of course, there is much or to a modern library than that and I have become involved with a couple of aspects of Surrey Libraries of which I was previously unaware.

The first of these is a poetry blog. This is a regular feature which incl...

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Broken in tiny pieces
Shattered metaphorical and literally shattered
My soul feels bruised and battered
Years of lost trust finally found over almost a year
Gained in time but lost again through fear
Warned stay clear
All things toxic drugs and beer
Disappointment unspoken but visual
Her eyes are sad she looks miserable
She blames her self they all do
The handful of people who got me thr...

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followed the wrong path, struch down by society

tried to make music but couldnt get the propriety

had the struggles, went through it involuntary

to give my heart to anyone now i am very wary

if you see me smile - im not happy - its rarely

it was my choices that led me here if i put it fairly

no anyone to hold me as i push myself through

not even a father to see how ive grew

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what is it without actually being happy

i put together the most real pieces but it doesnt change my feelings even when theyre clapping

im really just sad but i hide it with anger

my life has never been safe, always putting myself in danger

trying to find salvation, maybe i can save myself

maybe help my momma, get my family in good health

im just tryna stay strong and change my ch...

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no place to run when i needed to go

no one to call when i didnt have a home

people didnt come near me; fear of the unknown

wondered why there was no love

why it was so hard, was i treated so rough

the serpent came to me, gave me the forbidden

with my pain i took it like eve, it changed how i was living

kept trying to make it though, grew up fast life as a kid i never knew

i...

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the devil sat on my shoulder today and asked me why I changed, why I acted this way. Honestly, I replied, Im tired of the anger. Looking back at the withdrawn girl, shes a stranger. Im deserving of a willing personality, instead of wallowing in my own self-pity. She asked me dont you miss the lust, disagreeing id rather involve myself in a way of trust. Greedy the serpent showed disrespect. With m...

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I long to choose at my descretion

share my stories and teach lessons

to drive my car freely around

and to be scholarly, medical bound

loving myself and attending to my needs

servicing others and doing good deeds

how I dream of all the goals ill achieve

and all of the praise and good fortune ill recieve

from despair to hope I look for the future

taking back and repairing ...

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Today has been a better day 

I wasn’t a mardy bitch 

I didn’t cry when something went wrong 

I ate food without nausea or gagging or that awful washing machine feeling in my tummy 

Today was an easier day 

I could talk without the lump in my throat strangling me 

I walked through university enjoying each rain drop falling onto my cheeks

or dripping through my ey...

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I feel a little more me today 

The crying spell has passed 

With each hour, ticking by softly, my lungs awaken

I breathe easier now

I enjoyed my morning coffee 

Sat by the steamy windows 

Watching the sunrise slowly emerge from behind the dewy grass 

Colour is returning to my cheeks 

Repairing some part of the fragile soul I was two days ago

I dream 

Ag...

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He fools everyone
and I fool myself
in my secret life.
 
Makeup hides the bruises
in my secret life.

Distractions abound  
in my secret life.

I smile, laugh, cry, drink 
the pain away
in my secret life.

Food fills the gaps of despair
in my secret life.

I pray for salvation
in my secret life.

Hope for a better tommorow remains 
in my secret life. 

# # #

https://youtu...

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I'm dedicated. Not addicted. I'm in control. It's my desicion. I say what And I say where. And if you ask jus rig;;

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My mouth took some months to bloom

My words took some weeks to flower

You and I do not speak different languages

We possess different meanings

“What is the curl of your tongue?

What is the grind of your teeth?

What is the bow in your brows?

What do you mean?”

Your bottom line is neat and fine

Your ballpoint pen bullet-proof

Underlined

My point is a r...

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Forgive me, for not 
being the mother 
you needed me to be.

For being too busy,
too naive to see 
what was happening 
in front of me.

For being silent
when your father 
screamed and demeaned.

For when I thought it
was sweet that your 
boyfriend carried you
to your room when you 
"fell asleep".

For not enough hugs
and too many lectures.

For not seeing the signs
of addict...

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I saw God today

the sun shooting rays down between the clouds

I saw God today

in the tears of a friend who was hurting

I saw God today

in the smile of others and the pride in their eyes

I saw God today

as I looked in the mirror and realized my eyes were clear

for the first time in a very long time

I saw God today

in every raindrop and in every lightening strike

I s...

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Last week as I sat in a hotel room putting a drug in a cup and pouring water upon it I asked myself who have I become? And now 7 days later I stand in a park serving those less fortunate as I and I ask myself the same question... Who have I become? No longer high and in my right mind I still don't think I can fully answer my own question... Maybe one day I may actually know the person who lives in...

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Painkiller

This world is brutal in its bitter way,

destroying beauty, tarnishing the good,

Hurting the carers, harming those who would

do better with their lives each passing day -

those who, despite all that the doctors say,

take back some control – if only they could

get up from where they drown beneath the flood

of good intentions. So today I pray:

when you’re hu...

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It’s almost as if you’ve been 
reborn.

The moment 
you can take a breath
without feeling yourself
drowning.
Cement is no longer
running through your veins
slowing every movement,
because now it is only gravel.
Your head is now 
not filled with buzzing static,
and instead 
the distant sound of 
electric storm clouds.
Enraged fire 
replaces the
sleeping snow.

You are finally se...

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Never seeing the light

Shown

We wither and decay

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Singular point of hope

balancing in one dimension

drive the stake deep, swing without reservations

for this is the beginning

doubled

       added vector

sure footing eyes

to the horizon

averted from the abyss below

another point right planar

temptations of rest

loss of balance still precarious

point added placed correctly

a broad base of stability?

po...

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Space for thought balance beauty of the void

power of complexity built on itself chaotic system

producing new order terrifying lonelyness meaningless computations

chaos repeating old broken patters My bones are ground to dust by the enormous gravity halving each space ad infinitum the yoke digging deep in the flesh

the aurochs spurred on by the cyclical hope of freedom

what new quar...

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What do have to offer. yourself

internal wisdom beneath the facia of my concious

the untenable barrier that holds the flesh together, but connot be devoured only boiled down

and essence consumed

waste

waste not use it for what it is

extract its power

use the sinew to construct a rope

strength beyond

only useful in parity with what is beneath what is beneath useless witho...

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Alchemy accumulations occult objects

oration

obviscation oral affinitiess

articulate articulate 

honerous horticulture

fallow ground

hallowed articulating implements 

scaring the face

chrurning the deep richness pulled to the skin layers of detritus

masticated long passed

ego masturbated

harrowing seed bed preped

rain sun evenly scaled

else scalded or overasp...

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My little pale faced love

Pixie now for you or closer

Hang on in there, it's proof it's working

This is just a sign of the clock ticking 

Ticking away the days to full health

Full recovery no less my lovely, you'll see

The pest shrinking daily for others to catch

Trust in their judgement and hold my hand tight

You'll be free soon my lovely, just you wait and see

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There are challenges we face that others don't see,

may never experience, never understand.

Invisible mountains we climb alone,

oceans we swim feeling out of our depth.

But we do it. We fight it. We beat it.

Mental health recovery is a journey,

a destination that requires focus, bravery and time.

For all those who face it every day...

believe.

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Have you ever tried to kill yourself by holding your breath?
No one's ever died from a lack of sleep...
(I dare you not to try it)
The hardest part of forgetting is when you remember.

Double check yourself, and down it goes.
Get ready, hold on, and jump out of the plane!
Hear the rush, gasp for breath, and let those bells ring.
Jump on that train, follow those tracks.
It's too much (but ...

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Lost my way in the sun,
got lost in my oblivion,
wandered through the maze
inside my brain
found my way
back again.

I broke the wires
back there,
hollow,
low
but I make them pure,
free
gold like a river
I flow.

I let it go,
my hope
floats.

My yellow brick road
will take me home
to the silver blue,
my pure, my sweet,
my golden fire moon.

I fell in lust,
the ego owned ...

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Master and Commander

Spreading kindness is not as easy as it should be,

Light years ahead this world of worlds,

And what’s not preserved will slip through mid-earth,

Medicated America suffers,

Morals are seldom thought of,

Our jaded youth trudges on,

We collapse on the front lines,

No one can save us,

Because we see our neighbors in turmoil and turn away,

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10

Shaky fingesr slide over my 

9

New wounds and my 

8

Scars of hatred, with 

7

Pills. I long my

6

Horrible hours of

5

Screaming death wishes and

4

Shots to my head would make

3

Tears fall down from my

2

Eyes, hurting me still!

1

More day and I would of been swept away. 

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Jigsaw

They say you cannot live without me,

yet I am happy lying here alone –

adrift on an ocean of Axminster.

You didn’t miss me until you were finished

and by then it was far too late.

I was just one of your many pretty pieces,

inconsequential to the scheme of things,

until I was the only thing you needed.

By then I was safely hidden away,

f...

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