Poetry Blogs (depression)
You don’t know about the anger and rage
Which has mutated and grown with age
Only let loose when I engage
In the booth or on stage
Normal people are able to contain and control
(We’re all a bit psycho)
But normal people hold it in their subconscious
Only coming out in hallucinations when they’re unconscious
Grown with time the rage has become monstrous
Tuesday 22nd September 2020 5:14 pm
After hitting self destruct
Had to find something inside to reconstruct
Build me up
Here’s what’s left
Hanging onto the last breath
Pulled myself from the depth
Now I am free
But hold on...this just doesn’t seem real to me
Feel like I’m stuck in somebody’s twisted fantasy
They’re pulling my strings
They’re whispering things
Telling me I’m crazy
Telling me I’m...
Tuesday 22nd September 2020 5:09 pm
Lyrics invade my brain
If I don’t get them out they run around and drive me insane
All the best material comes out then hides got to wrack my brain to remember
But I don’t even know what day it is
Should I be buying presents are we in December
This is why when you see me gaze
It’ll amaze you to know that I was in a daze
I wasn’t looking at you
Don’t care what you do
Tuesday 22nd September 2020 12:55 pm
I don’t like to lie
But I won’t argue with stupid
So until the day I die
I’ll neither confirm or deny
They’re like tumours
They spread and they grow
But lucky I release my anger on flow
Lucky I already snapped
Your words don’t go through
So how come when I’m alone
I hear the voice in my head saying the same things as you
Then a part of me is saying...
Tuesday 22nd September 2020 12:51 pm
Coronavirus can kiss my arse
and if I get a fine
they’re gunna have to get in line
coz I’m broke and I don’t care
“but we want our money”
well life ain’t fair
that’s why I welcome death and all its depth. To be able to say I’m finally free,
no longer trapped in this body of torture and insanity.
Yet that’s what awaits me when I go, if only I could show, show you the way...
Tuesday 22nd September 2020 12:39 pm
Do the bathroom thing,
Do the breakfast thing,
Do the bathroom thing again,
Do the commute thing,
Do the work thing,
Do the commute thing again,
Do the dinner thing, the family thing, the needful thing,
The friend thing, the hobby thing, the health thing,
Do the evening bathroom thing,
Do the self-education thing,
Do the good-night thin...
Wednesday 16th September 2020 11:35 am
Our total deaths have ballooned since I wrote this and it was reported over and over on the news that sober total deaths of 31,000.. At first during lock down I felt quite prepared isolation isn't new for me but after learning all your life to get out then being pushed back inside all thoes early feelings resurface again.
Arriving later than a British...
Wednesday 16th September 2020 9:40 am
This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
Not with a bang, but a #hashtag.
Tuesday 15th September 2020 11:05 am
Seeing the beautiful sky,
From my dead eyes.
Wondering the beauty in the holy night,
Dark was the only colour which helps me to hide.
Hiding my sadness my sorrows my fear my cries,
Trying my best to keep the face with smile.
My hobbies,my joy, my emotions were becoming day by day a bit fewer,
Now I am just existing in the world, can't even face myself in the mirror.
Monday 7th September 2020 6:58 pm
How are you?
A question worth a thousand answers
A thousand possibilities summed into one
Somewhere in between the good and the bad
Between the lines
Of the lies
For poetry and more visit: https://www.wordsoffaith.co.uk
Monday 7th September 2020 2:55 pm
Panic setting in
For reasons unknown everything is unsettling
I wished I could kick my heels and disappear
But, instead, he appears
Through the haze his face is clear
I fight the urge to will him near
Oh God, did he sense my fear
Or my emotions churning and my tears near
How does he do it, what exactly does he hear
Me quietly praying, daring him to care
Friday 4th September 2020 6:18 am
Am I making an impression...
Do I leave you bewildered with every expression...
Do you look forward like I do to our weekly sessions...
Or are my scribbled musings akin to aggression...
An unbecoming, pathetic vie for attention...
I find you delightful and have a genuine fascination...
I am curiously eager, feelings bordering on intoxication.
But, apparently in therapy t...
Friday 4th September 2020 4:14 am
As I love,
So I wish to be loved,
As I care,
So I wish to be cared for,
As I tolerate,
So I wish to be tolerated,
I could go on.........
But all these are simply words,
Words with elusive meangs,
And vague interpretations,
And no meaning at all to those who choose not to listen,
To write about love means nothing,
To talk about love means nothing,
Love is an action, a reaction,
Thursday 3rd September 2020 12:23 pm
She walked into this world,
Smiled, and parted her thighs,
Loving passion of death,
Burning the flesh to cinders,
Come to me,
Desire has weakened my spirit,
Her words have broken me,
Echos carry deep, dripping with the sex,
Be with me,
Pain and love are one,
The blood-soaked arousal of an evil servant,
The consumate act, the ultimate submission,
And in the end it ...
Saturday 22nd August 2020 6:51 pm
Negativity is not always overtly depressive,
Positivity is not always overtly happy.
Negativity eats away, piece by piece.
It hides in the banal.
Its disguised by layers of colour,
Negativity is drip fed, unnoticed.
Even the comfortable.
Negativity keeps you in your place,
Thursday 20th August 2020 10:52 am
It’s a walking numbness, a dull pain
that sometimes presents itself in waves.
It slowly builds, and one day, every few weeks it explodes.
I can’t bring myself out of bed.
The rolling tears subside for a moment only to build again and again.
The world outside, and the family inside, doesn’t exist, only what’s happening right here.
Only this pillow, only this blanket, only the thoughts ...
Friday 14th August 2020 1:49 pm
clouds my view
at a quarter til two.
I don’t understand why
my muse avoids me like the flu,
when a simple poem or song will do.
Wise words to help me understand
why true love passed me by
in this lifetime.
Why wrong choices,
that felt right at the time,
left me alone in this abyss
where my better self
silently bears witness
to my shr...
Friday 14th August 2020 5:56 am
Running through my head
Rumbles getting louder
Scared things might be said
Hide away in a closet
Because the sound is so loud
Hide from the truth
Because the truths not allowed
Thunderbolts they are striking
Flashbacks of a lad
A childhood in silence
Adolescence was sad
But storms they get stronger
They gain strength with time
The rain is now pouring
I’ve a hurricane m...
Wednesday 12th August 2020 9:04 pm
Pain exists inside the heart
That mourns the missing day
Emptiness, holding all that’s lost,
Fingers white, grasping air, slipping away
Darkness surrounds all we see,
Shadows stolen from what could have been
Extinguish a flame, smoke filling our souls
As expectance is hidden and unseen
Embers remain in the sorrowful ash
As the wind lifts up the light of our e...
Wednesday 12th August 2020 9:09 am
I planted some seeds
I watched them grow
They got stronger each day
They are flowers now
The petals are vibrant
They’ve come to life
They blow in the breeze
They reach up to the light
Independent and free
They stand so tall
Bask in the sun
From the early morn
As the night time comes
They go to sleep
Until the next new dawn
And the little birds tweet
Then they rise again
Sunday 9th August 2020 5:04 pm
I don't want to hurt no more
I don’t want to cry
Don’t want to curse no more
Don't want to live this lie
Inside I feel I’m dying
The pain it hurts so bad
I feel I’m losing control
Every day I feel so sad
I’ve felt this way for a lifetime
Thought I’d mastered how to cope
But the pressures getting heavy
Feel I’m living with false hope
Thought talking would help to free me
But I feel I’v...
Sunday 9th August 2020 10:32 am
Lost boy, find your way home
Reach out your arms
You’re no longer alone
Lost boy, please don’t be scared
There’s a safe place waiting
You just need to get there
People may judge you
And that is OK
If they have a problem
We can keep them at bay
Thoughts and feelings are normal
Its everyday life
The future is yours
So keep that in sight
Lost boy, why are you afraid
It’s not your ...
Wednesday 5th August 2020 4:48 pm
I am sad.
I am worthless.
I am unlovable.
Nobody loves me.
I do not deserve to be loved.
I don't matter.
I have no matter.
The world would be a better place without me.
Nobody cares whether I'm dead or alive.
I wish I were dead.
Tuesday 4th August 2020 12:59 pm
Temptation looms endlessly,
Dwarfing my little mind,
Making no sense of my sordid little ways,
Consumed by all,
For is it just a passing breeze,
Or the rock that has me be,
Is there life in what I am today,
Or what I am yet to be,
The heart does not know,
Oh, how very little it knows,
Of that which it gives the body and mind to,
The torment of the flesh is but a whimper,
Tuesday 4th August 2020 12:43 pm
And so the bastard sings........
His cruel deformities an abomination to those who set our standards,
It is a vicious, stinging blade that cuts him down in the street,
And the vermin watch, their cocks in their hands,
As the bastard falls, crying,
The gushing blood flows into the lifeless streets,
Glowing rivers of virility,
Washed into the gutter,
I took her hand, to take her away...
Sunday 2nd August 2020 9:50 pm
As a child
Friends knocked the door
You were waiting for
To hear the question
As it left their mouth
Asking your parents
If you were coming out
As a child
We’d run around
No care in the world
And acting the clown
And playing in mud
Making as many adventures
As we possibly could
As a child
I was building a wall
To keep me safe
Saturday 1st August 2020 1:08 pm
Here I stand, a broken man
Trying to cope the best I can
Guys are not supposed to cry
We’re macho with our heads held high
But alone I feel a shivering wreck
With mixed up thoughts and mass regrets
Regrets that I just can’t be me
Regrets of the false man you see
Each tiny thought I try to dissect
But each tiny thought then becomes a threat
A threat that I might be exposed
Exposed to tho...
Friday 31st July 2020 1:23 am
Like a scared child in the shadows
Lurking to find what’s right
Strange feelings overtake me
And my chest is feeling tight
Why does it feel abnormal
Why does it seem so strange
I don't have one attraction
I have multiple in my range
Why does it sound so dirty
In an homophobic head
Why do I feel so troubled
By what others might have said
Is it them who have the problem
Or am I running ...
Tuesday 28th July 2020 11:05 am
Crumbling all around you
Your world falling apart
Life seems to be dealing cruel blows
And your wondering where to start
From the moment you start hiding
Things go from bad to worse
The damage is occurring
And your causing yourself hurt
On the outside you are smiling
But on the inside there is pain
To the world your seeing sunshine
But all you see is rain
Behind the dark clouds lurks y...
Sunday 26th July 2020 10:34 am
Inside I’m breaking, I’m aching, in falling apart
The mess in my head is a real work of art
I’d unravel this mess but where would I start
Picked away at the seems bit by bit, part by part
The confusions, delusions
I just think what I have
But then thinking and sinking
I start to feel sad
Then with sadness there’s madness
And then I feel bad
These confusions, delusions are driving me mad
Saturday 25th July 2020 11:21 am
I have it all
locked up inside
my soul tries to hide
and I can’t find the reasons why
once I was whole
pure spirit, body and soul
the umbilical cord cut
and ready to go
into an unbiblical world
I didn’t know
the years passed and I passed out
locked in a cage of everyday life
I forgot there once was
a fire burning inside
Saturday 25th July 2020 8:44 am
Walking down the road no one travels on, lost are the souls that tried so hard to find themselves. Was the path really better? Luering you in with the beautiful greenery but what is lurking behind the beauty? Desperation to grasp ahold of innocent travelers, leading their journey to peace astray. Not a spiritual awakening they'll find, instead another dead end. Defeated, as you look theres no way ...
Tuesday 21st July 2020 8:14 am
The figure had a lonely aura about itself. Something about it weighed on your charachter. You willingly relinquished parts of yourself in hopes to nurture the overwhelming darkness that the stranger seemed to carry. As your mind opened to the new acquaintanceship the insecurities and fears that were once held by the apparition influenced their way into your esteem. As the light diminished from you...
Tuesday 21st July 2020 8:04 am
In the moonlit dreamtime as the
Warblers rest and stars kiss the midnight sky
I want to die
As the sun rises flirting seductively with
The horizon and cotton candy clouds
Tiptoe across the dawn
I want to die
In nameless parties with empty faces
And monsters growing with every sip of
Poison they ingest
I want to die
Thursday 16th July 2020 4:15 pm
a long silence fills the room---piercing my lonesome ears with pain
there she is
sad, distant, lonely staring at me dead in the eyes
her mouth opens and screams
no sound comes out.
theres not a way out for her.
i turn back around, taking a deep breath to tiredly dress my face with a sense of geniality. perfect i say to myself.
Monday 13th July 2020 8:12 am
In a dusky morning, the sun was setting,
Wanted to scream in a silent mic.
No more of this frustration, no more of this hatred,
Death was the only freedom came to his mind.
Listening to the people, listening to himself he realised,
Many a things don't matter, So does his life.
Losing his hobby, his like, his ego, his pride.
Losing his humanity, was what it was like.
'Try to stay po...
Wednesday 8th July 2020 3:10 pm
The light, so fierce and bright,
The glow like warm embers of a fire.
Attracting, magnetic, drawing you in,
Even more obvious from the shadows,
Looking in from the cold darkness
Where the fire once burned
And the warm hand of comfort used to rest.
It's cold out here away from the fireplace,
On the wrong side of the lighthouse,
With a perfectly illuminated view of th...
Saturday 4th July 2020 12:32 pm
I am the one who’s innocent blood was
shattered beneath the golden cross.
I am the one who’s virgin blood
stained the concrete floor.
I am the one who was too weak to fight,
yet too strong to die.
Oh what a fool who transverses the
Hell of man to stand erect with burning vengeance…
and walks away.
I am that fool.
I am the one who fought each night.
Who used her own...
Tuesday 16th June 2020 2:27 am
long have I stood
long stood have I gazed
long gazed have I thought
long thought have I suffered
long suffered have I
long have I stood
Saturday 13th June 2020 1:48 pm
A magenta sky
greets my morning sigh.
Another majestic day,
lost in the minutia of life.
paralyzing dream sabers.
Download another book,
refresh the poet's page.
Escape, behind a waterfall
Dry your eyes,
face your fears.
Tuesday 9th June 2020 4:31 pm
~Quietly floating atop the rolling fabric of navy
Blue like the absence of oxygen in the veins
Tracing a trajectory charted and discovered,
Re-charted and rediscovered,
I spend the nights in Neptune.
I find an uneasy peace as daybreak cracks and attacks the ice
But the deep fissures fuse ever stronger.
The ocean lulls my corpus into a drowsy state
As my restless mind rages ...
Saturday 23rd May 2020 9:30 am
A summer's Christmas,
A winter's Easter,
Sun blazed reflections,
Moon chilled features,
Decaying bright shadows,
Renewing dark radiance,
Exogenous void within',
Lagging just to rush,
The constantly inconsistent,
Concealing joyous sorrows,
Being contiguously distant,
Thoughts resistantly flowing,
Nerves electrically static,
Wednesday 20th May 2020 11:20 pm
I can't take it,
I'm only asking,
Please Lord help me,
I'm tired of relapsing,
Over and over,
My veins are collapsing,
I know you hear me,
I'm sorry for babbling,
I don't understand,
Why this keeps happening,
I'm covering the pain,
It's so everlasting,
The hurt burns deep,
It never stops dragging,
Life is a slow death,
It's truly a sad thing,
Sunday 10th May 2020 3:20 pm
Michelangelo said the work of art awaited him beneath the slab of marble, merely for him to uncover it. In my own small way I understand that as I write these days. The poem I know is possible waits patiently at the other side across a murky divide and with luck and patience maybe I can reach it, reveal it.
Here is one I wrote about a barbecue years ago in the small town where I lived.
Friday 8th May 2020 11:43 pm
You paint yourself blue, always blue
this letter brings me down
perched upon a rusty trailer
paint peels over my shoulder
I've been drinking
since the boats were rested
on the muddy estuary bed
It's high tide, low life
high tide, low life
I won't stop my reaching out
if there's any way to help, I'll find it
you're so slow to take my hand
scratching at your skin for answers
Monday 20th April 2020 1:45 pm
It’s a weird feeling.
I try so hard to put on a show
To all of my friends
And my family
I need to be strong.
I don't want pity
I don't want to be a charity case
I’ve always been the person people come to for advice
And I’ve always been there for all my friends
And goddammit, I wish they were there for me
Thursday 9th April 2020 8:27 am
I don't like your colour,
Can't hear your noise
You cover streets in winter,
Keep my heart there,
In grey lands.
Let rivers overflow
And my heart sinking
Into colourless melancholy.
I want to be
At a sunny place.
I want to feel the golden light
And warmth on my skin.
©️ By Magical whispers
Wednesday 11th March 2020 9:02 am
When sun comes against all odds
And the colours of life just pop
Or when the rain falls
It falls and falls
And you wet your lips
With piping hot tea
With warm biscuit
Savour the crumbs
Cosy and safe
In the arms of a jumper
The padding of the sofa,
Like a huge hug
Or when your face aches,
Your stomach vibrates
Because you are fighting to breathe
Tuesday 18th February 2020 5:52 am
When people ask me how I'm doing I want to tell them the truth.
That my depression is the captor I can not escape from.
That my heart longs for the attention I don't sustain.
That my ears burn waiting for you to tell me you feel the same.
I want to tell you that depression has invited anxiety over.
Yes... that is the third time this week. Thanks for noticing.
Tuesday 11th February 2020 10:23 pm
The beach isn't a beach
if it sans the sea
Just a random strip of sand
on a hot summer day
The night doesn't fall
till the sun goes away
for it to dazzle
in its own way
Am I the night
that needs the sun
to mark my presence
or simply the beach
which will be nothing without the sea?
Monday 10th February 2020 11:13 am