Poetry Blogs (depression)

I am the one who’s innocent blood was

shattered beneath the golden cross.

I am the one who’s virgin blood

stained the concrete floor.

I am the one who was too weak to fight,

yet too strong to die.

Oh what a fool who transverses the

Hell of man to stand erect with burning vengeance…

and walks away.

I am that fool.

I am the one who fought each night.

Who used her own...

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long have I stood

long stood have I gazed

long gazed have I thought

long thought have I suffered

long suffered have I

long have I stood

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A magenta sky 
greets my morning sigh.

Another majestic day, 
lost in the minutia of life.

Shoulda, coulda,woulda,
paralyzing dream sabers. 

Distractions abound.

Download another book,
refresh the poet's page.

Escape, behind a waterfall
of tears.

Long nights,
paved years. 

Fandango memories
sustain me. 

Resilience 
prevails.

Dry your eyes,
face your fears.

Wr...

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as a recovering suicidal,

things get too much many times a day

as a practicing high school student,

i am in classes 6 hours a day 

now i'm failing at algebra, so i'll let you do the math -

but as the test subject, i can confirm 

that this lines up to cause quite a few overloads during class

so that's why 

that's why i excuse myself

fill up my water bottle, go t...

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~Quietly floating atop the rolling fabric of navy

Blue like the absence of oxygen in the veins

Tracing a trajectory charted and discovered,

Re-charted and rediscovered,

I spend the nights in Neptune.

I find an uneasy peace as daybreak cracks and attacks the ice

But the deep fissures fuse ever stronger.

The ocean lulls my corpus into a drowsy state

As my restless mind rages ...

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A summer's Christmas,

A winter's Easter,

Sun blazed reflections,

Moon chilled features,

Decaying bright shadows,

Renewing dark radiance,

Exogenous void within',

Luminescently extraneous,

Lagging just to rush,

The constantly inconsistent,

Concealing joyous sorrows,

Being contiguously distant,

Thoughts resistantly flowing,

Nerves electrically static,

Hearing...

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I can't take it,

I'm only asking,

Please Lord help me,

I'm tired of relapsing,

Over and over,

My veins are collapsing,

I know you hear me,

I'm sorry for babbling,

I don't understand,

Why this keeps happening,

I'm covering the pain,

It's so everlasting,

The hurt burns deep,

It never stops dragging,

Life is a slow death,

It's truly a sad thing,

My hand...

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Michelangelo said the work of art awaited him beneath the slab of marble, merely for him to uncover it. In my own small way I understand that as I write these days. The poem I know is possible waits patiently at the other side across a murky divide and with luck and patience maybe I can reach it, reveal it.

Here is  one I wrote about a barbecue years ago in the small town where I lived.

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You paint yourself blue, always blue
this letter brings me down
perched upon a rusty trailer
paint peels over my shoulder

I've been drinking 
since the boats were rested
on the muddy estuary bed

It's high tide, low life
high tide, low life

I won't stop my reaching out
if there's any way to help, I'll find it
you're so slow to take my hand
scratching at your skin for answers

I ...

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Broken

It’s a weird feeling. 

Hating yourself.  

Always. 

I try so hard to put on a show

Always

To all of my friends

And my family 

I need to be strong.

I don't want pity 

I don't want to be a charity case

I’ve always been the person people come to for advice 

And I’ve always been there for all my friends 

And goddammit, I wish they were there for me 

I me...

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.

The weight of a thousand suns and a million lives and every single lie told to every single hopeful attached lover/
It’s on this very chest and my ribs are long gone they cracked and left years ago /
So did you and your promises and your hopes to get me better/
So did your patience for a illness without symptom 
Because to you //

Symptom is a sore leg/
Or vomiting 
/
But to me ...

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I'm missing my gran
She's my number one fan
I'm missing her chain smoking
The golden oldies she hums to herself so sweet
I'm missing the family anecdotes that make my day complete

I miss her asking me how I'm doing
And is the poetry going alright
I miss her telling me how she won at bingo at the social club
Every Sunday night

I'm missing the person that taught me about Albert and that...

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Rain.
I don't like your colour,
Can't hear your noise
Anymore.
You cover streets in winter,
Keep my heart there,
In grey lands.
Let rivers overflow
And my heart sinking 
Into colourless melancholy. 
I want to be
At a sunny place.
I want to feel the golden light
And warmth on my skin.

©️ By Magical whispers 

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When sun comes against all odds

And the colours of life just pop

Or when the rain falls

It falls and falls

And you wet your lips

With piping hot tea

With warm biscuit

Savour the crumbs

Cosy and safe

In the arms of a jumper

The padding of the sofa,

Like a huge hug

Or when your face aches,

Your stomach vibrates

Because you are fighting to breathe

Through ...

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I wish i were braver. More like everything you deserve. 
Wouldn't inflict my self on anyone. Nothing more cruel i've always thought.
I can't change the past and there's too much of it. 
I see the heart of you, clearer than the things you want me to. 
I dont see the rules to the games you play, and don't know why you play them anyway.
Hear this echo fade away, flickering to the tunes you play.
...

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When people ask me how I'm doing I want to tell them the truth. 

That my depression is the captor I can not escape from. 

That my heart longs for the attention I don't sustain. 

That my ears burn waiting for you to tell me you feel the same. 

I want to tell you that depression has invited anxiety over.

Again. 

Yes... that is the third time this week. Thanks for noticing. 

Tryi...

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For the desperate disparate
All I am
since before i  heard the tigerpig, no thought no time
When i stop i am gone
Ever as now
A silent scream rising like the firefawn
Existing only when the wind blows
Moss beneath my toes on the old stones
In sunlight through stained glass
The echo of living through falling lashes
Alive for one timeless moment
Hoping to smell poplars through the pine
R...

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The beach isn't a beach
if it sans the sea
Just a random strip of sand
scorching, dry
on a hot summer day

The night doesn't fall
till the sun goes away
paving way
for it to dazzle
in its own way

Am I the night
that needs the sun
to dissappear,
to mark my presence
or simply the beach
which will be nothing without the sea?

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Semper Eadem
I want to feel connected. To anything. Anything at all.
You all belong here i can tell, i see the weave running through you, even the worn and tattered threads.
And i float above and barely touch. It's all too much this not enough.
This pain is real and meaningless, i watch as salt water carves cracks around my eyes with too much to ask and not enough to say
I want your joy, your...

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The rain falls

My soul weeps

Masquerading

All the secrets that we keep

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For starters: offense to real, man's best friends dogs. I love them, but also are scared of them in a way. This one is dedicated to the "black dog'" that haunts a lot of people's lives. I did a DJ gig on this day tonight and met a fellow who told me he does a mental health group to protect people who do not talk about what they are and or feel obsessed with or feel suicidal. We bought a few drinks...

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dangerous minded

cant forget all the things that happened, im constantly reminded

tramatizing pictures in my head

the doctors got worried so they put me on some meds

because i couldnt deal with my mental

derailing and my thoughts became detramental

i couldnt handle my life anymore

couldnt stop the impulses before...

it was too late, theres drugs involved, using them i thoug...

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what is it without actually being happy

i put together the most real pieces but it doesnt change my feelings even when theyre clapping

im really just sad but i hide it with anger

my life has never been safe, always putting myself in danger

trying to find salvation, maybe i can save myself

maybe help my momma, get my family in good health

im just tryna stay strong and change my ch...

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Depression is a question
of stamina. We know how to win.
Build walls and fill them with light
even as darkness batters the barricades,
threatening a wholesale invasion. So we turn on more lights,

call more friends, play, dance, and work, work, work.



This isn’t mania,
unless swimming to shore
in a river of white-water rapids is also mania.

We’re strong,
and we can make it.
We just...

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