Poetry Blogs (depression)

From Caterpillar to Butterfly

It's cold and confusing.

A bomb needing diffusing.

Strainging and stressful.

Though secretly blessful.

Her heart and soul are at war.

Depression growing like a sore.

A life filled of grief.

No hopes of relief.

Her heart cries out to God,

Her face and body, the facade.

Nobody sees the real me.

Feelings behind the walls you see.

Restrained by her own mind.

Her ...

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cry for helpdepressionSchizophrenia

Family Tree

I'm afraid to have kids
What if they get my depression
Or addiction
Or fucking alcoholism?
What am I supposed to say to them?

"Sorry kiddo,
Suck it up.
You'll soon find out,
Life just fucking sucks"

It's just not fair
To pass on an ongoing burden
To watch my kid suffer
Knowing that I can't relieve them

They're supposed to be protected
But I can't save them from themself
It just kill...

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addictiondepressionFamilyfatheroffspringtree

So Unpredictable

25/10/11

So unpredictable.

So sharp and so cunning

Is the pain that run through me,

Hideous yet so stunning.

 

I want to keep it here, 

I want to feel it's cold aching

Blood spilling from me

My heart is still breaking

 

What if I want it to stop?

Please, leave me alone!

It'll be there. Waiting.

For me to decay down to bones. 

 

Maybe that's what I wa...

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anxietydeathdepressionlifemanic depressionmental healthmental illnessmy past experiencepainpastpast eventssadnessself harmsuicide

Powerless

Disarming Charming

it will be ok

nope fuckit

I know exactly what will happen

Barely hanging on guilt of no productivity

circles in on itself

more never quite enough

more time never quite enough

wasted time cannot have enough

goals unfullfilled self fullfilling

respite from mistakes feed more

well never deep enough to stay hidden swim deeper

need more time never ...

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depressionfirst steppowerlessnessrecovery

Exuberance

Blunt after blunt

Beer after beer

My attempts to drown the pain do nothing as

The joy in my life slips from my grasp

Shot after shot

Numb to my emotions and logic

I’ll double down on my agony

Burn bridges half built and cut poorly tied ties

All in the name of self-improvement

Something that never comes and never will

Why would I let myself grow

When I could continu...

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beerbluntdeathDepressionsubstance abuse

Those Nights

It’s one of those nights again

Can it really be one of those nights

If I feel like this most nights

Those nights become every night becomes how I'm forced to live my life

Temporary solutions are my saving grace

Smothering my emotions to save face

Two beers in, smile wide, i’m feeling fine

A few hits in, you’d never know I’m dead inside

The pilot light is out and things are ...

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depressionnight

apathetic.

magic tumbled from his lips as he spoke of love filled promises,

dreaming of the day he'd feel.

empty, he was, the hollowness of his eyes prominent.

he kept his apathy concealed under a veil,

making them believe he felt the opposite.

death, to him, seemed almost.. ideal.

 

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apathydepressionlonelinesssorrow

But For The Dripping

In his life,

Joyous events

Have been like small drops of water

Dripping into a bound persons mouth

Barley keeping them alive.

 

Whom,

While being further tortured

By common experiences and lackluster events,

Wishing only to die,

Cannot

For the dripping...

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depressionmelancholypoem

new year, new me.

new year, new me

 

new year, same old shit, same broken me.

 

the games they play will never change

the lies they tell will only grow in numbers

and every one

will erode at my happiness

and reduce what could have been mountains

down to only dirt.

 

i am broken

shattered

irrepairable 

destroyed.

 

i used to be

i try to be

so kind

and compassi...

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changedepressionhappyhopenew yearsad

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