Poetry Blogs (depression)

I Can Be Good (Z)

With each and every prose I think of new things to outpour onto this page. Ideas and feelings flow through me, conflicting, and most of the time I am ok.

I've been sober since then; nothing helps this anymore. Every day starts out slow, in a haze, then I feel ok and content and myself for a few hours. Once noon rolls around, my heart hurts, my stomach turns, my head spins, and I leave class to ...

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adhdbipolardepressionlong distancelong distance lovelovepolyamorouspolyamorypsychpsychologyzach

Cast Aside

Cast Aside

A woman cries for now she knows

Her love is unconditional

Weeping at the empty kitchen table

One, two, three in the morning

None are awake but her

Right hand reaches out to air

She wails

“There was no choice to make!”

Yet she always knew, in some way

Either too much to handle

Or not enough

But always cast aside


Anger will not manifest

Her l...

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adhdarbitrarybipolarcast asidechancechoicescrydepressionheartheartbreakheartbrokenlate nightlovepolyamorouspolyamory

The Door

We’re sitting back to back,

So close,

Yet a door is separating us. 


Our heads leaning back,

Touching the same place,

Yet a door is separating us. 


We’re both crying,

Wanting to hold one another,

Yet a door is separating us. 


Neither one of us knows

That the other is doing the same thing

Because the door is separating us. 


Neither one of us


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How come

When things looked like 

They were headed the right way,

Everything crumbled?


A boy 

Who will never look at you

The way he looks at her.


A grandfather

Who is dying

And said he was living only for your brother.


A friend

Who will never understand 

How much you need her.


A best friend

That must not have viewed you the same way


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What You Know

How do you know

When the joking has become

More than jokes?


How do you know

When to tell someone

That you are being hurt?


How do you know

if what you’re feeling is justifiable

Because they’re always “just joking”?


How do you know

The time in which it will

Consume you again?


What you know

Is that you’ve been

Through this before. 



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I always told my mom that there was a monster under my bed. She of course never believed me,she always said that i had an over imagination. She gave me a night light so the monster would go away,but that never helped,it just angered her. There was nothing I could do to get rid of this monster,so I ignored it,I listened to music every night so I couldn’t hear the screams. I’m 16 now,the monster is ...

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no one sees

can no one see the pain of the shadow of a broken girl

living in a broken home?

can no one see the scars that her “cat” has made?

or the fact that there are new ones almost everyday?

does anyone notice the pain behind her eyes?

the “i’m fine” and a fake smile?

does anyone even care about anyone else anymore?

the name calling “whore” “slut” “fat” “ugly” “stupid” and many more


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I’m Sorry

How come everything I touch shatters?

What am I always doing wrong?

Everything around me is made of glass,

And I’m not careful enough. 


I’m too self centered for everyone.

i only worry about myself.

I didn’t realize the people who love me

Need love, too.


I’m sorry to all of those 

In which I hurt.

I love you,

Even if you don’t love me.



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DepressionI’m sorry


Swiftly in the breeze,
Greatest tides crash,
Children playing softly in the sand.

Geese flock in arrows and the sky so warm,
I witness the power of sanity,
Yet I recoil from it in unforgettable agony.

The truth is that in this world,
You become what you are,
And you die that way.


I must disagree,
For even if the great moon shining in the sky collapses into the ocean below, t...

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I Want

Sometimes, when I say “I’m okay”

I want someone to take me in their arms,

Hug me tight,

And say, “I know you’re not.”


Sometimes when I smile at you,

I want you to ask me how I am,

Hug me tight,

And say, “You can cry.”


Sometimes when I’m really upset,

I want you to text me asking how I am,

Hug me tight,

And say, “I love you.”

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Perhaps to know happy, you must know sad.

And, perhaps to know sad, you must know happy.


I don't remember happy,

So am I still sad?

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First, you hear your heartbeat in your ears.

It sounds like a someone is pounding on your chest,

Trying to break free.


Then, you start shaking.

You lose control of your whole body,

And it becomes even scarier.


Third, you look around to see if anyone is looking

Because it is embarassing

To have something normal scare you.


Next, you run to the nearest safe p...

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depressionpanic attack

The Somewhere: Bricks and Cement

God Damnit.
Why can't you just look and see me?

I know you can. 
Kinda Sorta. 
You just don't stop.
You don't consider looking at cracks.

The old school walls are a burgundy color that no one finds interesting.

Maybe once in awhile.
For a brief second.

She was new in school, I think. 
Never saw her before until sophmore year.
Pretty outgoing....

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Connor LannesDepressionHighschoolSadnessSuicideThe Somewhere

What I Needed

How come, when I put my mask on,

You never take it off?

Instead, you just pretend you can't see it.


How come, when I take my mask off,

You pretend it's still there?

You see the pain I hold out for you,

Yet you do nothing.


Am I supposed to keep going, 

Though no one seems to want me to?


You were the one thing I lived for, 

But now that you're gone,


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A Mother's Love

My hand in yours fit perfectly. 

You closed your hand around it,

And for a moment,

I felt safe. 


My my body fit perfectly against yours. 

Your chin resting in my head,

And for a moment,

Everything felt okay. 


When tears began spilling onto my cheeks,

You wiped them with your hands cupping my face. 

And, for a moment,

The problems were fixed. 



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Life at the Plateau

The Plateau

The view from here is calm and true

The grassy steppes stretch out of sight

From plainness slowly dullness grew

From winning I have lost my fight

Life once sharper, numbs to bland

And feet sink deeper into sand.


The uphill struggle left me weak

Fingers bloodied, grip was lost

Each ridge ahead still seemed the peak

Life was stripped, I paid the cos...

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The sharp blade going deeper

Into your skin

The more you do it.


It started as a trial,

But now you can't stop.

It has become a punishment.


Blood encloses around the knife,

You no longer even flinch.

You tell yourself you deserve it.


You're not good enough.

You are a waste of space--of a human.

You aren't worth anything.


With each cut comes an...

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The Swan Effect

The Swan Effect                                                                                                                                          Your slender neck and wings so clean

Graceful movement, so serene,

The purest feathers which you preen

Are what attracts the eye.


Curves and power, gliding slow,

Majestic as a river flow

Sleek and gently strong you go


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The Zoo

The sky, I remember, was so blue. 

There were no clouds in the sky,

And the day seemed like it would be perfect. 


I looked up at my mother with adoring eyes. 

She smiled down at me. 

We were going to have a Mother-Daughter day. 


We walked first to the Elephants. 

They were so big

And seemed to be kings of their cages. 


Then we went to the seals. 

They w...

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A Girl Named Hope

“I want you to come to me,” He told me. 

“I’m too scared to go,” I told Him. 

“I want to. It would be better, but I can’t.”


He reached His hand out,

And tried to grab me. 

I back away quickly. 

“I said I don’t want to go now!” I yelled at Him. 


He glared at me. 

“I want you now,” He said, again. 

“I said no!” I yelled, again. 


I turned and ran. 

I ra...

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A Life in Colour

entry picture

A Life in Colour

The challenge as I rise from bed

Is turning greys to green and red.

The drabness of the everyday

Takes a rainbow, turns it grey.

The colours sharp are lit by sun.

Red, orange, yellow, new begun.

Green, blue, violet quickly fade

Primary, pastel, into shade.

A squirrel, seal, a worm, a whale

Don’t worry that they live so pale.

The tortoise carries we...

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Last Exit (Pills)

They stare at me.

Their orange bodies.

Their white hats.

Full of an escape route.


An assortment of colors and shapes.

Yellows, blues,whites, ovals, circles.

Too many, and it can kill you.

Too little, and it can do worse.


The pain creeps up out of nowhere.

And when they are always staring,

It is hard not to give in.

The hold that such a small thing

can ...

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Chance of Rain

The sky was blue all day.

It wasn't supposed to rain today.

When the grey came in, 

I didn't know how to feel.

It wasn't supposed to rain today.


The grey came in with big, scary clouds.

But, it wasn't suppoed to rain today.

There were big plans we made for a sunny day.

But, it wasn't supposed to rain today.


It started with a drizzle,

Then it began to pour.


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Not Her

I looked her in the eye.

She saw the smile, not the pain.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Fine," I responded.


I looked him in the eye.

He saw the smile, not the pain.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine," I responded.


I couldn't look Her in the eye.

She saw past the smile.

She saw the pain.

"How are you?" She asked.

"Not okay," I responded.


She hugged me...

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I see

I see a crescent shape besides the road,
Where the luminescence of your body makes for a show,
From the cinema.

Great expanses of falling leaves offers guidance,
But little tranquility,
Your silhouette proving but lengthy in my memory.

I was once told to find arches in the waves,
To witness flames creeping from the sands of tomorrow,
Greatness does not reach out and grab small men.


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The once forgotten wind swaying without rhythm,
Is found to replace such a decrepit world in which you have been forged,
The sun creating gleams on shadows just barely sharp enough to see.

Arcs fill the sky in the night streaking vibrant colours against the stars,
I witness the changing of the seasons by day,
Little does the boat rock aboard the shore.

Shattering dreams,
My very will ow...

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Carry On

Carry on

Sometimes I can't even talk
I just want to be left alone
With my own thoughts
Other times I don't want to be on my own
I just want someone to hold me
And make me feel safe and at home

Sometimes I can barely walk
I just want to stay in bed all day
Hoping the pain will go away
Other times I want to fight it and carry on
Even though I know it might bring a flare up on

The p...

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Feel Like I'm Crazy

Feel Like I'm Crazy

The doctor tells me "it's Fibromyalgia"
I've never heard of it before
But I think finally I have an answer
For all of my pain
But it doesn't take me long to decipher
It's something that they can't explain
Do they think that I'm insane?

They don't understand it
There is no cure
It's a curse not an answer
And I don't know how much more of this I can endure

They ...

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anxietydepressionmental healthPainstresssuffering


color used to be a distant memory.

I had seen the world in black and white for so long 
I couldn't even tell you the shades in a rainbow.

I had gotten used to playing along
when people would say 
"look at how bright! look at how wonderful! look at how vivid! look at how beautiful the world is!"
I would smile 
and say 
yeah, it's amazing
when all I saw were dismal shades of grey and bl...

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Bashful Sun

Take it to the moon,
The way the ocean gleams and the way I cry,
Oh how the tears are truthful,
They speak my mind.

Deep down by the ocean shore there lays what was once a shell,
Now simply the water that it once emerged from,
Little else but shattered rock and the remnants of a cold past.

I don't believe in the rights of men among soldiers,
Yet I feel the ocean's tide may wipe away my...

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The hidden pain

If life is as easy

as some make it seem

maybe life will be easy for me.

Days will be sunny and

even nights will seem bright and

people will smile because hey,

rain is alright!

Even the birds will be

singing their tunes after, of course 

sleeping in until noon.

Evil will have gone by and

don't try to tell me otherwise!

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depressionhidden meaningsuicide awareness month

A Triadic Structure of Depression

entry picture

My poetry's hollow and null
And like my life it is quite dull
So I ramble and cry
And I wish to just die
While I ponder why I've not been culled.


And yes even so
I continue to write words
With no direct form


Rhyme scheme, structure, they mean very little
To a person who has no control of their life
And apathetically watches as he carries on strife.
And in a rotted hole, th...

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AnxietyConnor LannesDepressionPoetryStructure

Shallow Bends on a Wide Road

I take one step forward into a shallow grave,
Fallacy of unbecoming men shaving my arm’s skin,
To gander to the flames of hell beneath the shades of daybreak.

Witnessing the colourful green and yellow of a son’s dying wish,
To water the plants once more, 
did you belong in such a infallible place?

Oh great carnivore amongst the grass and angry hollowed out ships,

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The Begging Tree

Dark shadows willow under trees of the forgotten essence,
I feel lonely again,
The honey strikes through reflections of the moon.

Does anyone care for me?
Do I deserve to fear the lonely future?
Or does the universe have a plan.

Yet still the clouds roll in unhalting,
To cover my eyes blind,
I put my hands forward into petrifying darkness.

Witnessing the great meaning of rain throug...

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Transient Beauty

Daisies in a meadow's bend,
Water dripping from the pale rocks,
And the moonlight shining deeply beneath the hallowed earth.

Do you witness the sky’s transient beauty?
Do you see the world’s unholy inconsistency?
Or do you perhaps wander ever blinder into the abyss of rock and dirt.

Forgo the witnessed lands behind the gravel topped mountains,
The light ricocheting off the wind,

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The Final Witness

Shallowly sagging in vicious winds of a cold autumn night,

The grass vibrates me a tune as I wander forwards through green and yellow forest,

Blissful mist of rain creating small fluorescent puddles on my skin.


The acidic thorns of men once stood behind the walls of fantasy seeping into the water,

Scorching my skin,

Red splotches ooze remnants of a world once to have been seen ...

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I wish to be heard.  To bridge the divide

auto-ostracising me from common

experience.  Common understanding,

inclusion and collusion in present’s

moment.  I think ahead what response my

actions engender.  My words carefully

controlled, observation

based: precision vocabulary I

once envied – recycled at will,

effect calculated.  For reflection

on me, upping my status, ...

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depressionisolationself worthsocially awkward

PaperMate (explicit)

I am my own best friend, 
me and my burning pen. 
Together alone 
through everything 
we have been,
my papermate and I 
find myself, I lose my way,  
I lose myself, I find my way, 
I come back around again 
then square I go, 

Cut the nose, spite the face, 
I got pride, I got space, 
not a number, not a mistake. 
Slave never 
a sheep black as me 
so black I am the light, 

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It swings under branches of devious fallacy,
To see shade streaming in through the darkened sun,
Red tips faltering beneath an ever-greener sky.

I wander and pick the flower,
The thorns bleed my blood,
Specs of iron ricocheting a color I had yet before seen.

Green and yellow hardened through great tragedy,
The moon does not shine this faltered night,
Instead wandering the blissless ski...

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Forgotten Children

entry picture

As the sun transcends on a forgotten city
in tent's they dwell, nowhere to rest their heads 
as the colours fade with the passing of time
in moments of thought, they face their dread.

They are old, they are young, they are starving
forgotten children with no place to call home
names upon headstones they are carving
feeling hopeless, defenseless, lost and alone

Night time despair, crawl...

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Yet again, truly alone

Swinging in the breeze amongst the Everglades I wish to be seen,
To hear the sand on beaches once again,
To wallow so graciously for the hope of the morning.


I gather for the ceremony on the hill’s crescent top,
Sitting for hours,
Watching the grass sway side to side in the breeze.

I wait for sunrise over the ocean ahead,
Small puddles form beneath my feet,
The rivers do not reac...

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Fight or Flight

Black Dog.  Stalking me.  Matching

every step.  Haunting

my shadow.  Nanometre

before manifestation.


My psyche cringes.  Ruin’s

proximity creeping fear

into me.  One false move.  One

trip.  One fall.  One turn against

the flow, the stalking dog bites.


And I press on.   Walk with fear

behind me.  I’ve been knocked down.

I’ve got up.  I’ve re-built lives.


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depressionfighting backmental healthovercome adversity

The Tug of Depression

entry picture

The tug of depression
It was always there
It's my greates lesson
That life wasn't mean to be fair
It's the shackles on my legs
The clouds over my head
It's the dead of the night
Never far from sight
It's the weight holding me down
Turning the smile into a frown
It's the whiskey I didn't need
Making me think I'm free
It's my monotone life
Making me scared of the highs
It's the prison ...

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The Meaning of the Stars

It became the moon above the ashes,

I winded sight of the streams that gushed through the glaciers,

And I wander about their blanket of flowers.


Did the sky become bleak for a reason?


To wander about the broken path within the rotting forest of the mind,

To feel sadness down and witness the flames rise from the oceans,

To sit beneath the stars for the comfort of the dis...

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With Eyes Toward the Sky

In the Sundays of meadows,
Stricken by the dashes of a rainbow gleaming through the corpse of rain,
I see you.

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Few Could Wake Before a Raging Current

Walking to the high mountains on a side,
I am perplexed before the raging current,
I don't know where to turn or run.

The truth is that I wander the sides of a street uninhabited by man,
The pavement overflowing with failure and sadness.

Take a look over the edge,
Take a look into the abyss of this world,
So stale the crumbs of rotten food.

The way the leaves whistle the call of a mo...

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What Color Do You Feel Like Today?


I feel like the color Blue. 


It seems like every day, 

I feel like the color Blue. 


You may ask, 

how do you know 

what Blue feels like? 


It's when you're sitting alone 

in the Blue room 

of your one bedroom apartment 

contemplating your whole existence. 


Blue is when 

you don’t feel good about yourself, 

when you don’t  

feel l...

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Anxiety, My Companion (a daily struggle)

entry picture







Sometimes I can

rail against it,

sometimes it

conquers me.


Sometimes I hide

it well, other

days the fatigue

of fighting it shows.


Some people



Others say,

"Get over Yourself."

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Ready To Die

entry picture

She let anger consume her heart,

Rage and love was not far apart. 

All emotions bottled up inside,

Hence why she couldn't confide. 


Fury itself could not compete with her,

Madness just continued to stir.

Wrath didn't say a word, 

But temper suddenly spurred. 


A darkness clouded her whole being,

Realising her whole life had no meaning.

Praying one last time t...

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Sincerely Yours

Spring was formed in the evening by the residual dew of storms,

When I gandered out the window in the morning,

Looking for you wearing your dress,

With the dreams of a family, I had once had,

I found nothing


In my mind.


Where are you?

I wonder towards old times written in tablets to the tune of women and children,

And I ask,

Where are you about to go and see,


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DepressionHeartbreakloveMelodramaticSadSincerely Yours

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