Poetry Blogs (depression)

DEAR DEPRESSION,

Thank you for always being by my side
No matter what I do, you´re always on my mind
A friend like you is really hard to find
I guess you´re just one of a kind

Whenever I´m feeling low
You just turn up and show
Me thinks I don´t want to know
But why though?... I thought you were my friend and not my foe...

Whenever I´m feeling good
You say "Stop that, instead you should
...

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When the rock struck me sideways,

Lying face down,

Confused and afraid,

Couldn’t see the daylight.

Dazzled as to where to leap,

Or where to turn,

In my confused altered mind.

But you stood amongst it,

Never blamed,

Nor question,

My reason for being.

Falls, turns and detours

I sympathize the whys,

The reasons for my trial.

Drifting through the motions,

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How can I cope with this devil on my shoulder, The heat is on but its making me colder, When I was younger it hoped I’d grow older, Started off small now it’s heavier than a boulder, 

You say I’m fine well I’m sick in the head, You say I‘ll cope well I’m sick of this mess, I don’t know how long I can stick with this stress, If it was my way then I would’ve writ this in red, 

I’m go...

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I have recently read
That pain is the hardest
Situation a human can
Try to explain.

If that’s so,
Is fear considered 
To be pain?

Does pain have to
Be a broken bone?
A head ache?
A tight chest?
A burn?

Is pain not
The anxiety of waiting
For everything to fit?
Is pain not
The force of trying 
to piece together 
two completely different
puzzles to become one? 

I can never...

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Painkiller

This world is brutal in its bitter way,

destroying beauty, tarnishing the good,

Hurting the carers, harming those who would

do better with their lives each passing day -

those who, despite all that the doctors say,

take back some control – if only they could

get up from where they drown beneath the flood

of good intentions. So today I pray:

when you’re hu...

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If you're not careful you can get lost in the woods of your mind.
My piece of advice would be to bring with you a guide.

Someone to hold your hand and walk you through.
So that if something is lurking you have someone to hold onto.

Make sure the person you bring is trustworthy.
That they'll stick around when it starts to get scary.

Things go bump in the night and more-so in these woods.
Tho...

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your toothy grin
is only cotton
trying to blow down this brick
house I have crafted

you were included in the blueprint
until I started changing 
the locks 
and now you're waiting for
an open door

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It’s almost as if you’ve been 
reborn.

The moment 
you can take a breath
without feeling yourself
drowning.
Cement is no longer
running through your veins
slowing every movement,
because now it is only gravel.
Your head is now 
not filled with buzzing static,
and instead 
the distant sound of 
electric storm clouds.
Enraged fire 
replaces the
sleeping snow.

You are finally se...

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The clover is blooming

Like blood in the hills

Hungry beauty of summer

Its early impatient pace

I have the thought

That these routines are breaking

That not so far from now I'll have 

a different best time

Because this early sweet

Late lazy spring

Will have drastic changes

No borders between extremes

I want this forever yet that is insane

This forward movemen...

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Whether it was going to an all boys' school,

Growing up in a religious subculture,

Having parents that didn't let you develop

Or provided no template for living

Say you are one of those guys that missed out

On intimacy in your teenage years

How do you ever recover?

Laying in bed lonely for all those nights.

Not even having dates with girls your age.

No girlfriend.
...

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The flower grew within, the fumes were fornicated. Bastards grew on paper, spilt ink spread their legs to the core of chaos. Thus the evil brewed bombs. You don’t see a shadow in the dark docile day. Only when it burns you can see your damned skin and the fire. The shadow of a truth turning grey, sat beside by the yellow day!

PC: Unknown

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You stare. 
Thinking isn’t your game, anymore.
Wait for the next reflex to barge in.

Stare.

PC: unknown.

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Piercing poles of what shattered in abruptness
Has a bit of touch to it.
Strange things with glasses, I tell you.

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Do you remember how we used to savour the pins and needles on our tongues?

Do you remember how we used to bite into bitterness?

lick the spit of life

I was turned on by brokenness

maybe it’s cliche

that I craved pain

swallowing broken bottles

it's lined my pockets

it's swollen my stomach

Do you remember when we saw ‘sad’ as just another crayon

to colour ourselves in w...

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Please tell me if 

Please tell me now 

Have I suffered enough 

Have I fallen to the ground 

It feels like I’m falling still 

I’ve cried for help haven’t I 

Was I not that loud 

Do I even deserve the help 

Guess I’ll just shut my mouth 

I’m not okay 

Please just tell me I’m not 

Tell me 

It won’t be fine 

Admit that 

That’s alright 

I don’...

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Yellow branches drifting to the shore,

You hold true in the forwards direction,

Bending ever downwards to the depths of darkness.

Your voice is shallow and short,

The breaths meaningless to all but the other,

Mirrors reflecting the sun.

Shattered windows created imperfections in a perfect line,

The glimmering colors to present true beauty once again,

Feathers ...

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All alone once again

Silence envelopes me

Might drive myself

insane

My loneliness, it seems to 

challenge me

So I have to ask myself

”Is this really who I want to be?”

Want to free my mind,

and just put myself at ease...”

I’ve only lived in life,

Don’t know how to truly feel alive

Think I forgot how to breathe

Happiness? Ha, to me that’s a tease

...

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Don't call it a comeback
My depressions been here for years
I still smoke myself to sleep
And calm my anxiety with 3 or more beers

It's just goes to show
That I should stay in my lane
I stare at the bottom of an empty bottle
Just to focus on something other than pain

I knew it'd come back
I knew it was too good to be true
Depression isn't a state of mind
It's something that controls you

...

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Here I am again.

Lost in the same world of limbo that I always get trapped in,

Oceans of mystery below me,

Plants growing underneath me,

Stars shooting above me,

I have been stuck in this oblivion for what has seems like decades,

Ideas and thoughts looping around and around inside this tiny head of mine,

Nothing seems realistic anymore yet it does not feel like a fantasy eithe...

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Envision this You have lived in a buried dark pit your whole life

Or at least since you can remember

All you have ever known is the feeling of helplessness

And misery

There is no way out but up

Which you are not even sure there is a peak

You try to climb

But gravity swallows you whole

And spits you out at the bottom of your inferno

Screaming, even though you are unsure ...

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Fall on the way side in the afternoon.

I sob now besides the hollow tree,

The oak,

Bare.

Your darkened hair recedes into the heavy mist,

Your eyebrows sliver into scattered sunbeams.

Away from me.

Lost in the bitter goodnight,

Hollow in acknowledgment,

The dirt moist from the heavy rain before it.

The image of you flakes,

In my mind,

Rui...

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It's cold and confusing.

A bomb needing diffusing.

Strainging and stressful.

Though secretly blessful.

Her heart and soul are at war.

Depression growing like a sore.

A life filled of grief.

No hopes of relief.

Her heart cries out to God,

Her face and body, the facade.

Nobody sees the real me.

Feelings behind the walls you see.

Restrained by her own mind.

Her ...

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I'm afraid to have kids
What if they get my depression
Or addiction
Or fucking alcoholism?
What am I supposed to say to them?

"Sorry kiddo,
Suck it up.
You'll soon find out,
Life just fucking sucks"

It's just not fair
To pass on an ongoing burden
To watch my kid suffer
Knowing that I can't relieve them

They're supposed to be protected
But I can't save them from themself
It just kill...

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25/10/11

So unpredictable.

So sharp and so cunning

Is the pain that run through me,

Hideous yet so stunning.

I want to keep it here, 

I want to feel it's cold aching

Blood spilling from me

My heart is still breaking

What if I want it to stop?

Please, leave me alone!

It'll be there. Waiting.

For me to decay down to bones. 

Maybe that's what I wa...

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Blunt after blunt

Beer after beer

My attempts to drown the pain do nothing as

The joy in my life slips from my grasp

Shot after shot

Numb to my emotions and logic

I’ll double down on my agony

Burn bridges half built and cut poorly tied ties

All in the name of self-improvement

Something that never comes and never will

Why would I let myself grow

When I could continu...

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It’s one of those nights again

Can it really be one of those nights

If I feel like this most nights

Those nights become every night becomes how I'm forced to live my life

Temporary solutions are my saving grace

Smothering my emotions to save face

Two beers in, smile wide, i’m feeling fine

A few hits in, you’d never know I’m dead inside

The pilot light is out and things are ...

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magic tumbled from his lips as he spoke of love filled promises,

dreaming of the day he'd feel.

empty, he was, the hollowness of his eyes prominent.

he kept his apathy concealed under a veil,

making them believe he felt the opposite.

death, to him, seemed almost.. ideal.

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In his life,

Joyous events

Have been like small drops of water

Dripping into a bound persons mouth

Barley keeping them alive.

Whom,

While being further tortured

By common experiences and lackluster events,

Wishing only to die,

Cannot

For the dripping...

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new year, new me

new year, same old shit, same broken me.

the games they play will never change

the lies they tell will only grow in numbers

and every one

will erode at my happiness

and reduce what could have been mountains

down to only dirt.

i am broken

shattered

irrepairable 

destroyed.

i used to be

i try to be

so kind

and compassi...

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