As young men, we ran through this town
chasing the madness
at the bottom of every bottle
and the warmth of teenage smiles
honeyed with the promise
of new experience
Spinning from bar to bar, pushing the limits
of our bodies capacity for self-destruction
snow melting from our clothes
as we sat and drank and laughed
in the Christmas evening air
Tonight, we’re trying ...
Monday 9th January 2023 4:18 pm
Filled to the brim
With everything that won't make you feel
The same as you did before
Monday 24th May 2021 11:42 am
We met there in the bar
the same drink
the same table
conversing over troubles
we leaned on each other
in those long nights
I sit and wait
at the same table
with the same drink
you hadn’t arrived yet
and I linger for hours
Nights like this pass
was it something I said
was there someone new
what was it keeping you
Then you arrive one night...
Monday 2nd March 2020 2:06 am
How many times must I rinse off the moon
And unpeel the stars from my skin?
Have someone ask what were you drinking?
How many times must I try clinging to lamp lights?
Try configuring keys into shining beacons?
I cannot see in the dark
Yes, blackouts steal my sight
But when finished,
I wake up feeling feverish
And fear ferments and festers
The night can be sticky
Monday 13th January 2020 2:41 pm
Wanting life easy but living it hard
Dons his sick kilt and has one for the road
Gone to repeat the story he’s been told
In the bar where he hasn’t been barred.
Scotland is playing, they’ll win or they’ll lose
He orders a pint, the fifth of the night
Loneliness fades and the world becomes right
An amber-flecked al...
Tuesday 26th March 2019 1:52 pm
MY FRIEND GINNY
You're a nice sensation when you are on my lips
I love to touch you with my fingertips
I like the feeling when you are going down
You say nothing, and you never frown
You're tall, slim and as cool as ice
When you touch my cheek it's very nice
Oh love is blind, yet I can see
You're my favourite G and T
Oh my, my, my, my G and T
How I love you ...
Thursday 4th January 2018 5:50 pm
Did you ever try to accept me,
Instead of avoiding me?
Or drinking me away?
Because I tried everything,
Just to make you smile at me,
But I could never make you laugh,
But I smiled constantly -
Like a fool.
Caring for you.
Because sometimes I couldn’t sleep because I was too excited to be in love with you
But sleep to you was like a breath -
And I was always your p...
Wednesday 20th September 2017 7:04 pm
Teenagers, cycling across the Dales
up country roads in the seventies sun
wheels turning, chests burning
on our way to Tan Hill Inn
Too young to drink then
we'd sit in the garden
catch our breath and if we're lucky
maybe the northern lights
I'd take photographs
thinking to myself
one day I'll bring my wife here
one day I'll bring my children
if I have any
and we'd cycle home
Tuesday 20th June 2017 8:06 pm
They know what he drinks
and that he likes it in a glass with a handle.
They know he never comes in on Tuesdays.
They know where he sits,
and how all of his stories
have changed over the years.
They know his kids and grandkids,
although they’ve never met,
and on the day that he doesn’t show up
they know who to call.
(Originally published in t...
Monday 13th February 2017 8:00 pm
Silenus In The Brewery Tap
light fights its way
across a peeling window frame
and crashes lazily
upon a dark wooden table
where a man sits
stooped by work and alcohol
so that he seems
to stare for guidance in a pint pot
that stands half consumed
while froth slides down its sides
street noise scrabbles
to overcome the slow whumpwhump of a ceiling fan...
Thursday 9th February 2017 7:30 pm
Wrapped in whiskey
Tender words roll off your tongue
like how I roll this blunt for us
Car ride to a party we'd rather skip
Turns into an L ride that helps us tolerate
the people you call your friends
You allow alcohol to consume you
And I act like high is the new sober so you let me drive
Stumbling like you can feel the earth's rotation
I play the pillar
Thursday 5th January 2017 3:48 am
We all hate the government
but what can you do
just drink in the evening sun
talking with old friends
A little place I know
when our graft is done
Cobbled streets, thin passageways
snaking pipes embrace the buildings
in the shadow cast by evening sun
standing with good friends
A little place I know
let’s grab a bus
Who voted 'leave', not one man here
Saturday 20th August 2016 12:18 am
The Prelude to the weekend
where people drink till the wee hours of the night
hoping to finally take flight away from the stress of the past three days.
Knowing that these moments never last forever
that is why families stay tighter than leather.
fly under any weather.
Distance is obsolete when it comes to this family
varying directions we may be in our lives,
yet when we r...
Sunday 7th February 2016 5:28 pm
Happy. Genial. Merry. Jolly
Blottoed, blasted, etched and blitzed
Mellow, foggy, hazy, squiffy
Tipsy. Tiddly. Brahms and Liszt
Dazed, zombied, tanked-up, trollied
Ganted, gubbed, guttered
Bladdered, blathered, leathered, plastered,
Sozzled, sloshed, scuttered
Hammered, battered, caned, mangled
Spannered, mullered. Half-cut, lashed
Twisted, warped, slammed, wasted
Monday 27th July 2015 3:22 pm
The lights are dim,
The band plays loud,
The audience are the usual crowd.
There's John and Jim against the bar,
Commenting on the lead guitar.
Leanne sits with her best mate Sam,
Shouting over the music, how she loves her man.
Her man, Brad, is at another table,
Flirting with a lass named Mable.
Then Wobbly Bob staggers over the floor,
Empty glass in his hand as he o...
Tuesday 13th January 2015 1:08 pm
Red wine, devine - gush great Niagra!
Rose blush my lips, the female viagra
Pink screen my vision and grape stain my teeth,
Crush days to hours and press days to weeks.
Red wine, sublime - course through my veins
Make white my black, make barren my frames
Hide red with rouge and slur a fake smile
Extract the poison, inject the denial.
Tuesday 22nd July 2014 9:37 pm
I grab the beer pump and tilt the glass,
Whilst his slime and sleaze harass.
He slurs his words and winks his eye,
And gives his chat up line a try.
And still I smile so courteously,
The customer's always right you see.
Friday 4th July 2014 1:27 pm
supping at the Silverback Inn
the glass stops halfway to its destination
and the sands of time are quicksand
as you survey the crowded saloon bar
in the gently creaking Silverback Inn
the one with the paunch
I remember him
he was a bully
a right hard case
look at him now
fat and old
the stained and sticky floorboards agree
whispering taunting mocking
Wednesday 5th March 2014 7:01 pm
BEER, GLORIOUS BEER
Beer, glorious beer. It’s such a great thing that anyone can experience.
As for me I like ice-cold strong lager and a pint of real ale with the kick of a mule,
they all get you pissed if you have ten pints, so let’s have some more, it’s so much fun.
Beer comes in all shapes and sizes from all over the world,
from Chinese rat piss to Dutch thunder brew.
Sunday 12th January 2014 1:52 am
Life in the city starts at ten
With tanked up teenagers acting like men
Ladettes in skimpy skirts are all dolled up
Falling around in the road, having had too much to sup
The clubs are bustling, dance music rings out
The bouncers evict a fella acting like a lout
In the bars the booze flows like an industrial machine
And shouting and raucous laughter becomes par...
Thursday 19th September 2013 7:29 am
Offend a Daily Mail reader – today!
In our miniscule existences upon this planet Earth
There’s precious few occurrences to occasion us true mirth
So listen up real loudly, those with brains and minds to spare
Who still hang on to plucking out true hope from thinnest air
Here’s the solution, if you’re open to such play
Just offend a Daily Mail reader today
Thursday 25th July 2013 9:19 pm