When you told me you thought you were dying
You grabbed my hand in desperation almost crying
You took me outside alone to tell me ..
I asked your reasons you couldn't tell me
I looked at you why were you shaking
You told me some things that  didnt seem to fit
You confessed you had a habit but still that wasn't it
You repeated to me "im dying "
As I write this I'm crying
And this is over t...

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I am so scared

My heart will not stop pounding

I miss you so much

It was wonderful seeing you today

We connect and click in every way

But I am so scared you are going to choose him again and not me

I am so scared we will never be

I am so scared that if I am not with you

Then my life is most certainly through

I am so scared.

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My lover lives inside of long exposures
She breathes inside of my flashlight 
The shutter gazes wide eyed into darkness
I write her notes with this wavering beam
Capture my fast fading dreams by sunrise 

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Soaring clouds cloak rising sun, vigorous brightness, morning whiteness
Lightness, creeping upon those weeping sightless, dark blindness lifting in slightness
Rightness becomes a non factor, heart like a melted down reactor spitting smoke
Go for broke, break it all, the inevitable fall comes swiftly, will twist thee into submission 
Nature's battle of attrition, cruelty ingrained into life lik...

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When you left, you took a piece of my heart

When you left, my whole world came tumbling down

I became so lost

I was left in the dark

You took with you my light 

When you left, I learned to fight

I learned to navigate this world without you by my side

I learned to be strong to no longer rely on your love

You thought I was weak,

For feeling too much

Now, you're the one ...

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One whole year's

time emptied

Like lace leaves

From the cold trees

Skeletal wisps

You are missing 

attic tinsel 

Boxed deep and dusting

With bristles flaking

From the broken spine

So no silver lines 

Our crisp, black-branched pine.

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Endora:

I can’t breath, my lungs are burning 

Everything around me is twirling.

Everything inside me squeezes eminently, grabbing away my desire to live on.

I am filled with pain, till my last bone. 

My eyes are full of blood rivers.

He is dying in the roaring silence.

Lucas:

As I opened my eyes,

I saw dazzling stars dancing in the sunset 

It was as quiet as a de...

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The distraction machine, our plastic dream, sew last seam through bottom lip
Tipped off of ship, sheet bound tissue is ripped, living form clipped to fish food
Always in a bad mood, waiting on the never happens, inevitabilities stacking
Reef wrapping around your sea urchin heart, leaping off cliffs with no running start
Failure practiced as art, life pushed around in a cart, walking on rusty n...

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amid starlight she reposes

my life's in her lizard face

that library of dusty looks

records my fall from grace

she took the best from me

sucking me dry every day

each wrinkle taunting me

dry pointers to my decay

I pray she does not wake

no pity runs in my veins

but violation at the sight

of what sleep she feigns

she's a monument to loss

contami...

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They say hope is such a wonderful thing
Keeps us strong against anything
But be careful what you hope for
Or it will do you in.

So many times I thought I understood
Who people were, and what was good
Only to find, what's left behind
Is broken dreams.

And they say grief is a natural thing
As we get used to what's missing
And find out how to do without
What we used to need.

But the...

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A Love Song

   (forever) 

There was a time

When love defined 

All of the things 

life could show

So undermined 

By routine & time 

Upon our own tide 

we ebb and we flow 

A fork in the road

A different abode 

What would these old eyes

Of mine now see? 

Perhaps without love

Perhaps then I could

Get over how much

You mean to me 

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