Poetry Blogs (loss)

Another song/poem. I wrote, and my sons friend and I recorded, its a bit rough cause it was recorded on his phone, but the words are mine.

My Crazy Diamond

As these words cascade upon the page

I feel a hole inside

Sometimes I shine like you

My crazy diamond.

All my friends say its good to have you back

But I’m not there

I’ll spend another day

Just staring at th...

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A song I wrote a while ago, I played the guitar when I still could, arthritis in my hands has ended that, My cousins son sang and played the Harmonica and clapped.we never sat down and played it just sent stuff back and forth on the internet until we had something he could mix at his studio. Its about my son who died of a rare bone cancer, Ewings Sarcoma at eighteen years of age.

Blues for Davi...

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Spirits

The first

Showed me how it had been

The laughter and the tears

Sliced turkey

Rich juices flowing

Lights and tinsel

Greens and reds and silvers

The smell of pine

Needles on the carpet

Arguments and recriminations

Old wounds opened

New wounds pierced

This was how it was

The second

Showed me how it is

Lonely day holy night

The only ...

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Shimmering lights dance in her eyes

Shimmering lights cannot dispel

Like the fire inside my soul

A cold darkness that grasps at my soul

A velvet touch cannot disguise

Persistent beeps, and sanitised smells

Two hearts that yearn to be whole

Infesting a heart that I stole

Beneath the fabric of power and love

Unfaltering floors with a sinister gleam

Sensations fulfi...

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Would you still love your daughter if she was like me?

Would you give her love and affection?

Even if she was yelling and screaming and being mean?

Or would you turn a blind eye and just say 

"Oh, she just wants attention!"

And ignore her cries for help.

Would you still love your daughter if she was like me? 

Would you kiss and hold her and tell her everything will be alright?

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On a flowing river,

Crossing by the Mosis,

Trying to carry out a dozen of pain.

Felling again in your thoughts,

Smelling of the roses,

Standing by your side in your arms.

Would you like,

To me my life,

Crossing the might just for you.

Would you hold and be my soul,

Crossing the river that flows in you.

She said would you hold me,

God has just called me...

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The fading embers of her mind

Drift away to a long-ago time
To shrouded visions of some young girl
A time of wonder, a world to unfurl

Through fields she would dance humming a tune
Losing herself amidst the sweet scent of bloom
A fragrant-filled-feast for her lungs to consume
Within the wonderful freedom of nature's playroom

And as the shimmering Sun went down
She would dance throug...

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As I love,
So I wish to be loved,
As I care,
So I wish to be cared for,
As I tolerate,
So I wish to be tolerated,

I could go on.........

But all these are simply words,
Words with elusive meangs,
And vague interpretations,
And no meaning at all to those who choose not to listen,

To write about love means nothing,
To talk about love means nothing,
Love is an action, a reaction,
...

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What I am is wrong,
This is not me,
The entire sum of my life has led me to this fact,
I cannot be who I was, nor who I am,
Not even who I am trying to be,

The end is but a heartbeat away,
And there it will begin,
Life lived as a puppet,
Is life ruled by the puppeteer,

Cut the strings,

To fall to the ground by your own hand,
And then rise of your own accord,
Is what I long for,

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Pain exists inside the heart

That mourns the missing day

Emptiness, holding all that’s lost,

Fingers white, grasping air, slipping away

Darkness surrounds all we see, 

Shadows stolen from what could have been

Extinguish a flame, smoke filling our souls

As expectance is hidden and unseen 

Embers remain in the sorrowful ash

As the wind lifts up the light of our e...

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(Inspired by Death With Dignity, Sufjan Stevens)

Stoic and sober silence, I can feel you,
Like a blanket draped 'round me
When I'm down with flu.
Why don't you speak?
Decimated dreams, I can see you
Even in the stark bleak.
The color of coal.
When will you heal?
Whispers of floating phantoms, I can hear you,
When you hover over my cot
And sing a berceuse.
Why did you stop?
Flowers pre...

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I awake on a bed of roses, 

Whose petals crunch like orphaned autumn leaves.

A ray of sunlight towards me approaches,

Dancing in the light are muddy speckles aplenty.

​I can feel the air around me toy with my locks,

Which is as feeble as your grasp on my hand.

But I hold on

To you, this very second, this very moment.

​​​​​​

The mere sight of you sugarcoats my disill...

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Jealousy pokes at me 

like a schoolyard bully,

as I scroll social media greetings 

professing undying love, 

to fathers here and above. 

I can’t help but feel cheated 

to not have a father’s love.

I cringe at the dissonance

between my children

and their father. 

How can fate be so cruel,

to curse multiple generations 

with dysfunctional fathers. 

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In the ruins

Of my temple

My fireplace

Once in control

Reminiscing

My warmest kiss

In the arms of

My arsonist

To face new growth

Beyond pardon

The path across

Burning demons

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Elegy For Days Lost

Another day has come and passed

Left pain and sadness in its wake

The seconds, minutes, hours amassed

The sun will give the moon will take

The distant friends the loved ones lost

Amid the times of dread disease

Each family will count the cost

And curse the name of days like these

And yet the sky was clearest blue

I wrote a poem, sang a so...

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Some Words

I had been her son all my life

                But not all of hers

When she started calling me

                By her brother’s name

                Not my dad’s

                Her bother’s

Dead for these past 10 years

A stroke will do that to you

                Make you forget what you were saying

                Struggling to find the rig...

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Once when I was young I chanced upon a flower

Wild and free it was the most beautiful thing I had seen

And I wanted it for my own

To care for this flower

To show it off to the world

This beautiful flower that was my own

Through spring and summer

I  watered, I watched and I helped it to grow

And the flower basked me in its glory as it did so

But I had to le...

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Wave after wave of grief washed over me,
sadness so profound 
the world seemed desolate and forlorn,
like being exposed to the stinging rain 
and blistering wind
on wave crests at the height of a storm

Between bleak crests were moments
of consolation offered by caring friends, 
or comforting memories,
perhaps a joke to soften the pain, 
like valleys between waves 
give some respite 
...

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Echoing words through my head

Of all the sweet things that you said

Of times and memories of what we used to do 

Just a little thing to see me through

My dear, it's clear 

We aren't what we used to be

My dear, I fear

That’s the way it’s supposed to be

Blurred lines are once again made clear

It’s you with her

And me with him

That’s the way it should be in ...

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Bedlam

The greying morning

Barked like a dog

Trapped in a well

A sound so hollow

It shattered glass

In the cabinet where

She kept her memories

Tied in knots

The braying moon

Shone silver needles

Into the face

Of the weeping child

Screwing its hooks

Into soft flesh

Making the lanterns

Quiver with rage

In the ragged garden

Tendrils...

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The rain falls

My soul weeps

Masquerading

All the secrets that we keep

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She was a spectacular tree.
People called her the flame of the forest,
for she was obviously striking, vivid and classy.

I need not narrate the superlative majesty
of the flame – tree, for one time or the other
we have all been breath-taken by her peerless glamor.

What matchless artistry!

I am here to quickly share
my ruminative gloom for that lovely assembly
of flower, leaf and wood, which grandly stood
in...

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Is it still love when the cracks fill with lies?
And you know that you shouldn't crave their presence,
But they make you feel alive.

Is it still love when you long to break away?
But the notion of their absence compelles you to stay.
Is it still love when you try to forget?
But nothing will fill the void that they left.

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it’s 6:21 and when I look out my window from the corner of 29D, 

there’s a subtle hue of blood orange outlining what looks like the perimeter of 

a space

of sky

and a breeze of clouds, lighter than feathers, so thin, as if it forgot to carry the mist it was designed to pour tonight 

but that’s okay, because it found itself a new purpose:

your shrewd orange spirit is now perf...

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We track the oblique, sly fireflies
that keep popping fitfully by.

While life swarms invitingly by the side
we remain rabidly hustling
recklessly trailing
those brusque cracking stars
      ...shifty, deceptive, volatile
in onyx-bronze, raven nights

❋

We: the tenderfoot novice
bulldozed on many a graceless trip
half-cocked, peripheral, stoned
and profoundly ill with pitiful

short-sigh...

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