My world has come to an end.
Co-dependent like a child to a Dad
Losing my sexuality through men-o-pause
Obliterate me with your gaze
but don’t try to command my soul
the one I thought was the one
is the only love who’s been the truth
but I have fucked him over with my ego.
I let myself go but you were just the same
The dark haired, mum fuck that you have
Thursday 27th January 2022 6:35 pm
We are reduced to WhatsApp now you’ve left
the ting tells me your specks of thought, no touch
I think you may be synaptically challenged, cheat
your triad of expectations; you, me and her!
If you are trying to separate us, send me messages,
unfurl your inner petals of speech so you can serve me
and I’ll dissolve them into cadences of text history;
a nexus of hope deleted and u...
Thursday 28th October 2021 1:03 pm
I’ve finally plucked up the courage to speak,
to allow myself to stand up with the freaks
I’ve been sitting in my bedroom for too long
Waiting for the life i want to come along
Wondering if I am under control or lost
Thinking that I’d be better off dead, toast
Unsure how to be a mother to my child
As I’m always hankering for the WILD
I don’t mean just in terms of ...
Thursday 19th August 2021 8:03 pm
Tendrils of sight swim
memories from my child mind
vast Graveyards flash past
the coach windows
as I sat alone,
my split-self bristling
against the fabric seats
My school friends chatter
then later they climb
into sleeping bags, safe
I brought my heart out
into the moonlight, breathless
learning how not to wake
others with my grief
whilst you took your half
of my heart
high up int...
Thursday 29th April 2021 1:01 pm
I saw you there sweating
while under the shade
screaming, "stop that now"
and you threw a book
straight out in front of you
onto faded grass.
You ordered him, "Go!
Pick it up, you useless child"
A well-dressed boy in a school cap
cowered to gain the book
brought it back to you;
you dropped it
So he had to pick it up again, and again
while you admonished him for ...
Friday 9th April 2021 1:42 pm
I don’t necessarily want to be like you
There are times when you drive me up the wall!
I thought I wanted to be friends with you
I thought that we were something that we we're not
The reason is that I want to be like you, not that I want you
I want to be able to turn my phone over when someone calls
I want to be had a look away and ignore that “ting”
I want to put myself first...
Friday 26th March 2021 2:23 pm
Am I a burden or a blessing?
Until now I've brought you pain,
nitpicked neurotic neural pathways
produced images of you burdening people
nuked your brain by old beliefs.
The pitter patter of your baby
put like a seal pup on your chest
but I was there for stop her suckling,
I didn't want her to breathe
No-one except me knew you bitch.
After all we've been thr...
Wednesday 24th March 2021 1:39 pm
Kneel before the rich black mud
the minty plants smell when bruised
she sees the double backed burden
spouting eggs into the brown tea water
shame gathers with the loaches at the bottom
as the dragonfly larvae pounce
and eat those who have just been born
the shadows hold no magic to her yet
Hands fly, she captures a creature
pulling its leg to keep it safe
Monday 15th March 2021 9:28 pm
I felt like a clay pot
once from the earth
Born with spirit, soul cropped
The owners; my guardians, held me
They allowed me to be used
for my true purposes,
not as a pot but a holder of life;
Later, others wanted me to be a pot for use
To look and act like other pots
Or my uniqueness challenged their sameness
So I became like them, soul lost....
Sunday 28th February 2021 8:16 pm
I see wings with golden flecks
that embrace the moon;
a faith we need to reign in,
the horses of light and dark pull them.
I run with the wolves,
my hair streaming behind me,
as the wheel of fortune flings me out.
I see two magpies when I'm joyful,
but only one when I need two the most.
I can harness hell in times of apocalypse
and channel Gaia on Elysium field days.
Friday 22nd January 2021 12:47 pm
You enter the hospital
COVID precautions, mask on.
You see your Mum,
breathing on her own again,
like she had done for years
even before you were born.
And you know it’s time,
nothing can be done now.
You say your goodbyes
Walk out of the door
to a life that you no longer recognise;
One where you feel alone
without your anchor,
There will be mome...
Monday 4th January 2021 4:48 pm
Facebook is full of futility;
pandemic emotional ping pong
vapid mini Directors spouting “truth”
proving a point to the other side
The class divide is dividing us,
fuelled by media-driven Morgans
who needs to create division to thrive
pointless pricks with absent minds
Propaganda piloted, spoon-feeding
Humans walk past Joe the homeless,
humming on their way into work
Monday 4th January 2021 7:51 am
Your polo shirt is slightly askew.
Eyeliner you try and hide.
My daughter baby’s prime;
we have fought for this.
You now sit in classrooms,
open windows, warmth drained.
Queue, face mask clad, in corridors
dreaming of seeing faces
The boy you pass notes to
you are no longer free to kiss
or find the ecstasy in another.
Your childhood is on hold.
Monday 19th October 2020 12:41 pm
I have been
Death has held me
Life has killed me
But you still think
You have the right
To give me advice
As if you’re above me
If you let me speak
You might learn
Sunday 30th August 2020 10:38 am
I seek you moth girl,
there are hopes masked
behind doors in our mind
that felt like Fear
Frozen Little Doll
It’s where you still solicit,
Part Me, Part Him
God’s Steward dismantled
drowning under sheets
and adult whims
Fragments of sin
I ask you to come home
dance with me again,
you are swimming of reach
in the same mind...
Thursday 9th July 2020 12:32 pm
Lives threatened by what they don’t know
Dictated by police banners of hell
Don’t let anyone escape their reality
We are all victims of false dichotomy
Black or white we are all longed for
Children of a false enemy
Rise up and sense the difference
A red flag goads us towards sensibility
Neutral props of a false economy
Rise forth and take the enmity
The discourse of truth will out
Monday 15th June 2020 12:35 am
Since I cannot sense a name for God
power will stutter out of my mouth
In the old days it was the Village Church
Rich with Stain Glass Hypocrisy and Sin
In the middle it was a wasteland, dead
Then I saw God and everything changed
Spirit stood on my shoulder and held me
Angels came in plain clothes to erase me
No-one left even though I tried to kill me
In the attire ...
Tuesday 21st April 2020 1:37 pm
She sits there her book full of latent codes,
a way of communicating so no-one knows
Rambling on my life, traces of a history unread:
a mind full of trash and misdeeds unsaid.
She's a pristine therapist, who hasn't lived,
expecting me to say all and give,
when I couldn't give a shit about her plan.
Tuesday 25th February 2020 5:46 pm
You're so impossible
you are selfish
you are difficult
you cause me so much trouble
I've only got this angry with you
you provoked me
you aren't like your brother
you never help
I never get this cross with anyone else
you made me hit you
I lost control because of you
you are defective
but I love you
so all is ok
everything is possible with me
I am self full
Saturday 8th February 2020 11:20 am
you see inside.
I’m standing there,
without a care,
but looking out,
i’m full of doubts.
I’m projecting pride,
but have nearly died.
He makes my tea,
you see he loves me.
I appear to have done
nothing for it.
My inner voice,
gives me no choice,
where you can’t see,
I slice my extremity,
the blood runs down,
into the family’s dishes....
Wednesday 27th November 2019 6:43 pm
I know that no one really cares
If those people that they stare at
Really live it die or roam the streets
Wondering if there lives are nothing
Like the ones that “normal” people
live, but I am one who cares for those
Ego less souls who feel more than
Those who think they are more
Do not make me make you see
Those who you think are less
Because you w...
Wednesday 6th November 2019 9:44 pm
My wings are brown, not black and shiny.
I'm always peeping out through leaves.
I try and keep above the fear trilling below,
I know they are ingesting bitter roots.
And yet I swallow their song all the same.
The empty smoke of hope that arises,
as I am the Blackbird mother sitting,
gathering material and protecting you,
refined in pointless expectation.
I am a gust of failure that ruins,
Tuesday 18th June 2019 4:00 pm
She is dead already,
those eyes have murdered her.
They shut her inside jars,
scream their pain, projection.
She needs not to sting humans
but she is overwhelmed.
Searching for open windows,
A chance to kill herself.
Saturday 18th May 2019 2:55 pm
it was an accident
you hit me
with your words
it's my home I say
but you don’t care
you have come in
soon you will leave
but not me, her
I find my bedroom
solace and silence
the smallness of me
you have come again
I do not want you
you are not mine, hers
you smother me,
press me into bedsheets
you smell of bull swe...
Saturday 19th January 2019 12:18 pm
Chestfull of Grief
Full of Mischief
Scan my Matter
I am a Thief
Don’t listen to Spirit
Just Seeking Relief
Trauma of Belief
Rivers to Conquer
I am the Dirt
The Soil that Speaks
Monday 17th December 2018 9:45 am
You can find it in the drumbeat of a Shaman
Or within trees which possess doorways of hope
A certain stone can transport terrestrials
A mirror reflects what we know
A panorama roars into our psyche
While smells of childhood sear on our souls
The music we know the words to
even though we've never heard it before
We write a poem sacred in its rawness
Sunday 23rd September 2018 4:30 pm
Dead wood, no good.
Get rid of the dead
wood that won’t burn
like wet yew branches.
People are dead wood,
like soul callouses.
They cling to you,
bring only judgement.
Spouting forth sin,
or their own piss;
its all the same
when you don’t drink it.
They call you wrong,
say you are useless,
no use for burning.
I smack the dead wood
out of my life,...
Friday 19th January 2018 10:33 am
A little poem off the top of my head. Not edited, written v.fast.
Why should we bother?
To think about the souls
who fought in WARS
when peace is our goal.
Why should we bother?
To find a hour to spare
To witness their support
when we weren’t there
Why should we bother?
To think about the tears
Of all the men and women
who sacrificed their fears
We should alw...
Saturday 11th November 2017 10:56 am
The wind blew us away,
but we stayed sure footed.
Evening drew in
as dark clouds swam
in post storm
a God dwelling sky.
We built shelter
for your game,
The way you faced
made me so proud.
We the warrior queens,
wanting nothing but this.
By Emma-Jane Stradling
Thursday 5th October 2017 9:54 am
Enchanted women enter
Hades fucks Persephone
whilst watching a silver Queen
Re-enter the ordinary world
where Poseidon rules the sea
I dive through opaque water
the salt flushing out my eyes
under the silver silent waves
Wednesday 19th July 2017 7:39 pm
The girl begins to unfold like a snake
unfurling itself from it's resting place.
The arch of her foot, the ringlety hair,
the smooth skin that's yet to be shed.
She emits her stellar energies now.
Her unconscious is blissfully sleeping.
Then they start to tout, with their sales.
Girls on the front of magazines, exposed.
The innocents look on in suspicion.
Is this what ...
Friday 12th May 2017 12:33 pm
I saw you first when I strolled in,
massive horse, the god of the yard.
You gave us health, you god of healing.
The light streamed in; your heart lit up
just like you were Apollo,
the god of truth, you saw our souls.
You put your head on my shoulder
It was so heavy but I held fast.
You smelt of hay and horse.
Your stamps echoed around the place
your feet as big as di...
Monday 13th March 2017 11:25 am
She speaks up for the thousandth time,
when it's easier to keep quiet.
A star who says what's is in her soul
when you respond with your mouth.
A shard of silver pain in her heart.
But they have no idea.
You say the first thing in your head,
collapse her nebulous boundaries.
She’s a people pleaser, easily moved
by those who would like her to fall.
A nebula that ca...
Tuesday 7th March 2017 11:17 am
We hide our dark matter behind walls of soft red flesh.
Some people deny the existence of the matter.
Some think their's is so beautiful they should be first.
You deny the presence of it, even with my prompting.
I have descended into the dark labyrinths of my soul;
separating and extracting the Constellatus from Con -
‘together’ + 'stellatus.'
‘arranged like a star.'
Monday 9th January 2017 6:40 pm
You gave me hope when there was none,
from the misery in the mother and baby units
from my child's extraction, enraged breasts
useless. It was death, childbirth.
I too sat on the beach, at Southbourne
suicidal, with remorse reeking with illness;
I dug my fingers into the dark, cold sand,
and tussled with the need to stay awake.
I suppose the beach at Hastings was ...
Thursday 12th May 2016 4:25 pm
So I hear from you all that he has died,
the man that touched so many lives.
He has not left you in your heart,
now it's time to do your part,
keep his music alive through the dark.
His shining light will never depart.
He left a legacy to show,
his wishes for those who know.
Never let your creativity die,
From the starman waiting in the sky.
Tuesday 12th January 2016 9:38 am
I want to be alone,
but only within my family.
I want to to teach you
but only with him too.
I want to help myself
but only if you help me.
I want to be confident
but only if you are there.
I want to be creative
but only if you allow me.
I want to be a parent
but only if I’m parented.
I want to be an adult
but only if I can be a child.
I want to feel emotions
but only if you hold me...
Thursday 3rd December 2015 3:26 pm
Tuesday 3rd November 2015 3:55 pm
Can you imagine infinity as a 10 year old?
Yet now, 28 Years Later, I think it’s no time at all
I know you’ve been with me, all this while, watching,
I grew from a child, into a girl, then a daughter.
There were times when I wished you weren’t there,
private moments, intimacies, melancholic memories,
I silently searched for you to surprise me,
my wedding, a fatherly hug ...
Tuesday 19th May 2015 12:52 pm
Liquor, such a licentious name,
I hear it whispered on TV,
my hair stands on end.
I move the bottles out of sight,
to negate their seductiveness.
They cry to be held or treasured.
The weakness of wine glasses,
resonating when they are washed.
They are true to their purpose at least.
I pour a scant amount,
measuring with molecular like precision.
I swig it back with...
Monday 23rd February 2015 12:23 pm
scathingly steering myself towards salvation.
School Run: teacher testimonials and tallies.
an outcast from tradition.
Rousing the reluctant offspring,
combative to my requests.
We breakfast briefly,
on little balls of sugary synthetic yellowness
We arrive at school,
greet the countless glamorous goddesses
oozing out of the orifices...
Tuesday 2nd December 2014 4:50 pm
An evening, sitting, wanting, ripping, blackening.
An acerbic wind.
Wait for the train and the glut of passengers to spill out.
The end, endless encircling madness, himself in the wilderness.
Girls, Judas and their selfish wives, lives pass, suck Jesus.
In his selfish mask.
Tormented, pushed down, I’m full: kill, hell thoughts.
Giggle to stifle grief, uncomfortable familiar family and perfe...
Thursday 28th November 2013 1:06 pm
I am as blessed as bees benefitting from a bounteous bloom.
I am chosen like choosing a caramel from a box of chocolates.
I am holy like the hopping Robin just ahead of me.
I am forgiven as I forgive those who trespass against me.
I am as blameless as my brother’s baby.
I am adopted as an angry teenager whose assaults are acerbic.
I am wise as worries that have wro...
Tuesday 1st May 2012 4:06 pm
God is looking for action,
write a book or a manuscript.
It might make you woozy,
to sign a pact with the devil,
But take that first step,
peeling rust off steel,
deciding you can do it.
Then gaze blankly,
lean against a bar,
break a figurine,
take a li...
Wednesday 18th January 2012 6:09 pm
That mourning I went to the woods,
misrepresented by madness.
Life chastened, clouds crept on whilst I cried up on my cross.
I picked obscure rose petals and placed them in abandoned jam jars.
I trampled on my spirit, a quiet cost.
I found an inner peace, like a pardon.
A new diadem excavated encircled my loss.
I danced on wet grass with God, crown festo...
Tuesday 11th October 2011 10:56 am