Poetry Blogs (2019, trauma)

The greatest things in life cannot be seen,

Like happiness, love and serenity,

Anger, malice, wrath and rage,

I'm sick of these feelings as I grow with age,

There's more to life than being locked up,

Slamming dope and running amuck,

Looking over my shoulders the paranoia doesn't stop,

The fun is all gone and the streets are too hot,

Life on the run has turn into a drag,

...

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I know I traded something

A part of me

For the splendid splendour of money

I did that thing you shouldn’t do

I gave myself to him

You know, the soul

Cut a piece of myself out for him

You know, the heart

I cut a piece of myself off for him

(You know which part)

But I didn't feel a thing

I'm waiting to miss it

Miss this

Thing

I'm waiting for the pain

You...

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How many times must I rinse off the moon

And unpeel the stars from my skin?

Have someone ask what were you drinking?

How many times must I try clinging to lamp lights?

Try configuring keys into shining beacons?

I cannot see in the dark

Yes, blackouts steal my sight

But when finished,

I wake up feeling feverish

And fear ferments and festers

The night can be sticky

H...

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Get out
Go away,
I've been working hard
For too many days.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Not with you there
Herding all my sheep.

Get out
Go away,
My head's so full
And heavy with clay.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Afraid of monsters
That are sure to creep.

Get out
Go away,
I never said
That you could stay.

Can't think
Won't sleep,
Could end it all
With just... one... leap...

Back...

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Touch me
Burn me
Hurt me
Break me
Ache me
Caress me
Kiss me
Cuddle me
Feel me
Hit me
Rub me
Taste me
Grope me
...kill me

Backdated 10/8/19

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Come in
Slide behind
Start our rhythm
Get on your grind
Forget my feelings
I'm losing my mind
Don't need real life
To you I'm blind
Can feel every ache
Wish I could rewind
Know I'll always be hurt
To you, I am confined
Just waiting for the day
To be reassigned

Backdated 10/7/19

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Try hard to push through
Try to bring back the new.
But along comes guilt and shame.
But they won't stop playing their game.

Relationship seems at risk
Relationship seems so brisk.
Maybe it's all in my head
Maybe it's already dead.

Intimacy is more than sex
Intimacy's more of a reflex.
But I need to have honesty
But the one closed off is really me.

Trauma stops any progress
Trauma cau...

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I know what's coming,
I want to run away.
Maybe a deeper desire,
Always makes me stay.

He slips in behind me
Cuddles and watches TV.
Then he touches me and moves me,
And never once with a plea.

His rhythm begins,
One leg bracing me in.
Leaving his hand down my pants
Grabbing at my skin.

With fury and anger
His force comes to an abrupt halt.
Unsatisfied and unloved,
I'm left shaking,...

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The dejection
of disappointment.
The bitterness
from betrayal.
The misery
of mourning.
The sadness
from shattering.
The agony
of anxiety.
The dolor
from depression.
The torture
of trauma.
The heaviness
from heartache.

Backdated 1/10/19

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The lights dim and a curtain's drawn,
A quiet theater as the show begins.
It's the same reel playing on repeat,
A shattered heartbroken from sin.

He lies next to her as he'd always done,
Reliving his day through adventurous stories.
But something about him had changed that night,
The girl became something he had to seize.

A kiss of the lips catches her off guard,
"I'm sorry" escapes from ...

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I’m not a pyromaniac, but my emotions are like a fire.
Not dealing with past trauma because I don’t have what that would require.
So when I find myself alone and fighting the darkness in my head,
I end up saying so many things I wish were never said.

And as I look around at all the bridges that I’ve burned,
I know that by now, I really should have learned.
And as the smoke clears and my la...

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Live life today,
Like there's no tomorrow,
So forget about the pain,
And embrace the sorrow,
Life is a struggle,
That we all go through,
Searching for deeper meaning,
And contemplating whats true,
Beauty and complexity,
A trip through the divine,
It can't be mere coincidence,
It was done by design,
At first we are taught this is it,
The material is all that's there,
Then what is my p...

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When you crept in me the first time 
Taking my innocence away
Did you hear me begging and pleading for you to STOP...
When you felt that you had enough of me the fifth time when you spat on Me... laughed and walked away... 
Did that make you feel better...
Or when you held me down by a knife threatening you would kill me if I Told a single soul...
When you see the tears flowing down my face....

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all i really ever wanted was to be loved and appreciated
lord knows i get so low, so i get high and make myself elevated
every day and night i'm always high, yeah i just stay faded
i want a love and type of feel thats so fuckin real there ain't no way to fake it
i want a man who so badly wants to see my soul, and not just see me naked
all these dudes know how to do is use me, there's nothing ...

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I grew up in a world with msn,
When you would get harassed, by older men.
Begfriend with no life,
Cause he wants you to sleep with him tonight.
Fight all the things you ever thought,
Most these guys don't see their day in court.
Outruled by public judgment,
This is your last day, you make us disgusted.
You keep your heart in cement,
There's no way you can say it's consent.
How could you ...

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Suffocating under the rhythm of your heart beat

Like drowning beneath a sea of thumping marbles.

You are the ball pit, the sand pit, without end – falling!

But who can ever stand when they are - head – over – heels – for someone –

Yes!

And you pulled me in like a rip tide, a whirl wind, a sinking pool,

Wrapped me up like pig in blanket with your tangled hair

And the salt of it...

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And the troops go marching proudly by

as she wipes a tear from her weary eyes,

the one that she seeks, she will never again hold

for he died at his post; he was thirty years old.

The colours fly high on a cool autumn breeze

as man and boy march with well practiced ease,

so glad to be home after being so brave,

with flags overhead and not covering their graves.

She...

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Been there

Done it

Eaten it

Drunk it

Almost drowned in it

Nearly died

Praised it

Cursed it

Dodged it

Traversed it

Just you name it

I’ll have tried

Smoked it

Snorted it

Been traumatised by it

Reduced to tears by it

Laughed and cried

Run it

Walked it

Chased it

Caught it

Wished I hadn’t bothered s...

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It's a very sad day when a Loved one dies

human or animal we all only have one life

so we gotta live it up for the ones that pass

too the fullest on this earth is what I'm aiming at.

So let's up those downs and make the bad more better.

Even if you're feeling like shit or rained on by bad weather

you can overcome the end of this glitch called living

by cooking up you...

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