Poetry Blogs (2010, Trauma)
LEON STOLGARD on And in the right hand corner Leon ' raging bull ' Stolgard! (6 hours ago)
The greatest things in life cannot be seen,
Like happiness, love and serenity,
Anger, malice, wrath and rage,
I'm sick of these feelings as I grow with age,
There's more to life than being locked up,
Slamming dope and running amuck,
Looking over my shoulders the paranoia doesn't stop,
The fun is all gone and the streets are too hot,
Life on the run has turn into a drag,
Wednesday 24th June 2020 11:09 am
I know I traded something
A part of me
For the splendid splendour of money
I did that thing you shouldn’t do
I gave myself to him
You know, the soul
Cut a piece of myself out for him
You know, the heart
I cut a piece of myself off for him
(You know which part)
But I didn't feel a thing
I'm waiting to miss it
I'm waiting for the pain
Monday 3rd February 2020 1:43 pm
How many times must I rinse off the moon
And unpeel the stars from my skin?
Have someone ask what were you drinking?
How many times must I try clinging to lamp lights?
Try configuring keys into shining beacons?
I cannot see in the dark
Yes, blackouts steal my sight
But when finished,
I wake up feeling feverish
And fear ferments and festers
The night can be sticky
Monday 13th January 2020 2:41 pm
I've been working hard
For too many days.
Not with you there
Herding all my sheep.
My head's so full
And heavy with clay.
Afraid of monsters
That are sure to creep.
I never said
That you could stay.
Could end it all
With just... one... leap...
Wednesday 9th October 2019 7:58 pm
Wednesday 9th October 2019 7:56 pm
Start our rhythm
Get on your grind
Forget my feelings
I'm losing my mind
Don't need real life
To you I'm blind
Can feel every ache
Wish I could rewind
Know I'll always be hurt
To you, I am confined
Just waiting for the day
To be reassigned
Wednesday 9th October 2019 7:54 pm
Try hard to push through
Try to bring back the new.
But along comes guilt and shame.
But they won't stop playing their game.
Relationship seems at risk
Relationship seems so brisk.
Maybe it's all in my head
Maybe it's already dead.
Intimacy is more than sex
Intimacy's more of a reflex.
But I need to have honesty
But the one closed off is really me.
Trauma stops any progress
Wednesday 9th October 2019 7:52 pm
I know what's coming,
I want to run away.
Maybe a deeper desire,
Always makes me stay.
He slips in behind me
Cuddles and watches TV.
Then he touches me and moves me,
And never once with a plea.
His rhythm begins,
One leg bracing me in.
Leaving his hand down my pants
Grabbing at my skin.
With fury and anger
His force comes to an abrupt halt.
Unsatisfied and unloved,
I'm left shaking,...
Wednesday 9th October 2019 7:45 pm
Wednesday 9th October 2019 7:14 pm
The lights dim and a curtain's drawn,
A quiet theater as the show begins.
It's the same reel playing on repeat,
A shattered heartbroken from sin.
He lies next to her as he'd always done,
Reliving his day through adventurous stories.
But something about him had changed that night,
The girl became something he had to seize.
A kiss of the lips catches her off guard,
"I'm sorry" escapes from ...
Wednesday 9th October 2019 5:50 pm
I’m not a pyromaniac, but my emotions are like a fire.
Not dealing with past trauma because I don’t have what that would require.
So when I find myself alone and fighting the darkness in my head,
I end up saying so many things I wish were never said.
And as I look around at all the bridges that I’ve burned,
I know that by now, I really should have learned.
And as the smoke clears and my la...
Saturday 28th September 2019 3:29 pm
Live life today,
Like there's no tomorrow,
So forget about the pain,
And embrace the sorrow,
Life is a struggle,
That we all go through,
Searching for deeper meaning,
And contemplating whats true,
Beauty and complexity,
A trip through the divine,
It can't be mere coincidence,
It was done by design,
At first we are taught this is it,
The material is all that's there,
Then what is my p...
Tuesday 15th January 2019 5:54 am
When you crept in me the first time
Taking my innocence away
Did you hear me begging and pleading for you to STOP...
When you felt that you had enough of me the fifth time when you spat on Me... laughed and walked away...
Did that make you feel better...
Or when you held me down by a knife threatening you would kill me if I Told a single soul...
When you see the tears flowing down my face....
Monday 18th June 2018 4:18 am
all i really ever wanted was to be loved and appreciated
lord knows i get so low, so i get high and make myself elevated
every day and night i'm always high, yeah i just stay faded
i want a love and type of feel thats so fuckin real there ain't no way to fake it
i want a man who so badly wants to see my soul, and not just see me naked
all these dudes know how to do is use me, there's nothing ...
Sunday 11th March 2018 1:38 am
I grew up in a world with msn,
When you would get harassed, by older men.
Begfriend with no life,
Cause he wants you to sleep with him tonight.
Fight all the things you ever thought,
Most these guys don't see their day in court.
Outruled by public judgment,
This is your last day, you make us disgusted.
You keep your heart in cement,
There's no way you can say it's consent.
How could you ...
Saturday 23rd September 2017 11:43 pm
Suffocating under the rhythm of your heart beat
Like drowning beneath a sea of thumping marbles.
You are the ball pit, the sand pit, without end – falling!
But who can ever stand when they are - head – over – heels – for someone –
And you pulled me in like a rip tide, a whirl wind, a sinking pool,
Wrapped me up like pig in blanket with your tangled hair
And the salt of it...
Wednesday 17th August 2016 9:21 pm
And the troops go marching proudly by
as she wipes a tear from her weary eyes,
the one that she seeks, she will never again hold
for he died at his post; he was thirty years old.
The colours fly high on a cool autumn breeze
as man and boy march with well practiced ease,
so glad to be home after being so brave,
with flags overhead and not covering their graves.
Monday 24th August 2015 11:59 pm
Almost drowned in it
Just you name it
I’ll have tried
Been traumatised by it
Reduced to tears by it
Laughed and cried
Wished I hadn’t bothered s...
Monday 24th June 2013 4:00 pm
Friday 28th December 2012 10:24 am
It's a very sad day when a Loved one dies
human or animal we all only have one life
so we gotta live it up for the ones that pass
too the fullest on this earth is what I'm aiming at.
So let's up those downs and make the bad more better.
Even if you're feeling like shit or rained on by bad weather
you can overcome the end of this glitch called living
by cooking up you...
Monday 20th August 2012 5:44 pm