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Life of a child

Daddy said he couldn't get sober, couldn't get sober,

even if he tries.

mama said the marriage ain't over, marriage ain't over,

till the day she dies.

I said I just want normalcy, just want normalcy,

it will suffice.


daddy said he couldn't get sober, couldn't get sober,

god knows he's tried.

mama said the marriage ain't over, marriage ain't over,

for all the tears s...

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alcoholalcohol abusealcoholismdomestic abusebroken family

Acknowledge me

It reaches further than "please fuck me" or "don’t touch me"

It’s a liminal in-between 

A line we like to call blurry

But I never asked you to undress me

My body abandoned me

My words went slurry

Tongue too thick to go beyond a mumble

Kind sir escorted me to save me from stumble

Four times play on my mind

One of them I even forgot

Until it accosted me during a usual d...

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acceptdenialpaintraumaacknowledgeassaultrapeattackaccostrape cultureblurred linesconsentalcoholmemoriesgrowthyouthPTSDsurvivemental healthemotionarticulatecommunicatevulnerableopen up

To Drink or Not to Drink? 🍸

All adults may easily pick and choose
To stay sober or to drink some booze.
It can make us silly or even absurd,
As we giggle with our every word.

Should we indulge in those drinks we crave?
Though it may change how we behave.
And with alcohol we may soon find
The huge effect it has upon our mind.

So whilst it may take our sense and fear,
The effect in time shall disappear.
And while...

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Stuart VannerDrinkAlcohol

karaoke 34

the see-thru states

of liminal infamy

"don't let me down" 

sung in desperate drams

beacons prain

from a street corner


affixed and shorn and 


snaggle toothed:

cleft palates and anaphylaxis 

sanded down by time

into a shape something 

much like mine

(too much)


please see me

but don't look;

a shared hypocrisy 

wrung motes of p...

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karaoketraumamental healthaddictionalcoholcant do it anymore


I wanna talk about what kids go through

Broken door frames, busted light shades and spider cracks in the windows

I wanna give some clarity on these events

Woken up from sleep if you even slept, alcohol on the breath, eyes bloodshot, blank and brow full of sweat

Its probably the funny guy in class, class clown of the school

6 hours before class he was woken up and 3 hours of that he ...

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alcoholicalcoholabusemental health


Being drunk can take us to a wonderful place,
Where we may be merry or just stare into space.
We may become silly but reactions are slowed,
And we may either be calm or we may explode.

Invincible is how we often do feel,
Where the world is all great and life is ideal.
We may believe we'll be like this for ever.
We can become lively or think that we are clever.

We may reveal feelings or...

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Stuart VannerDrunkennessDrinkAlcohol

Respect Women, He Said

Respect Women, he said

I remember my skin was tight coming in from the low of a Maine night

When she

When she

When she

When she

Discovered my claims of

I could walk better, I ain’t in pain

But she knew something other than how my words were arranged

it were the muscles in and around my mouth, sculpting my face

Or it was the bags under my eyes

She related to when ...

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June 2020

Deep unquenchable thirst
that permeates my teeth,
And tickles like a feather
grazing a phantom limb.
Scatches like a itch
in a place you can't reach
Claws at your willpower
and begs
for just 

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Drinking Alcohol

Alcohol I used to drink as early as in the morning,
But to myself or for others let this be a warning.
Although for a little while it made feel elated,
After this had worn off depression was created.

Where there was once great joy, after there was gloom.
It turned me from a happy place into an empty room.
It gave me such confidence for which I gave it thanks,
But then it turned from that ...

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Stuart VannerAlcohol

Where You Begin

The first time

Is a pin prick

To unstitch

Your skin

To feel yourself


You search your being

You are it:

Coursing through yourself

The second time

You search inside

A stranger

Behind the corner shop

You find where he begins


But come back,

Stinking of rot

Void of thought

To feel what?

What are you searching for?

To begin ag...

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beginselfidentitysearchseekadrenalineriskfindfeelnumbself destructionrebornendattemptmisunderstooddepressionanxietythrill seekself harmalcoholmisusetaboostigmasex

shower drain


i invite you in my life to feel something again

to turn my numbness into happiness;

you are my happiness 

you make me my happiest

no one loves me as much as you do.


day in and day out i consume your love and affection.

soaking up every last bit. the feeling of feeling something for someone again excites my soul.

feeling anything is so hard these days.

but then i a...

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you know how it go(freeform)

pull out thre trigger u know how it go 

call up lil leek cuz he still got that 4

when I'm down bad I do not got nopbody

release all my problems when I drink this bottle 

still fucking hoes man I just fucked this model 

nobody know about all of my problems 

call up tequila u know she gon solve it 

I wanna stop drinking but I got nobody 

I try to reach out but they always dec...

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painlovehateparentsSelf-doubtaddictionalcoholalcoholicsubstance abusealonedepressionpoetry2019drug abuselonelynessangerregretsuicide

A Motherwell Romance

Wanting life easy but living it hard                     

Dons his sick kilt and has one for the road

Gone to repeat the story he’s been told   

In the bar where he hasn’t been barred.             


Scotland is playing, they’ll win or they’ll lose      

He orders a pint, the fifth of the night                

Loneliness fades and the world becomes right

An amber-flecked al...

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alcoholalcohol abusedrinkingLove lostscotland

For Hunter

I wish I could hide away from the rest of the world in your arms

bury my face in your chest only coming back up to kiss your kneck

Sometimes I miss the way you wouldn't call be by my name, but

instead called me beautiful

You swore to me late at night that I was your soulmate

but being soulmates wouldn't be enough to save you from your one true love

the drugs and the booze 


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This Boy

Much like my father this boy that I have intriguingly clung to does not have any appreciation for my existence much less my helpless soul.

I feel like the caring down syndrome child that begs his alcoholic of a father to love him yet the only thing he has spoken is how unmanageable the poor child is.

I am very lost and also heartbroken, I am the dirty tile in the corner of the kitchen that i...

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Drinking About You

Drinking about you all night long 

Playing all your favorite songs 

You said you loved me 

I believed you 

When you said 

I’d never leave you 

I’m drinking about you 

I’m drinking about you 

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Lonnie's First Christmas Pudding

Okay,  listen up, y’all.

I spent Christmas in England,

And this is what I saw.

They got something called a Christmas Pudding

I don’t know why--it ain’t got no pudding in it at all.

It’s just a big fruity mess

Rotting in fat and alcohol.

First they take dried fruit, sugar, and peelings,

Mix it with some flour, spices, eggs, and brandy,

Add some stuff I can’t remember,


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christmaspuddingTexasalcoholChristmas pudding

Bottoms Up

You can skew your view
Through the bottom of a glass
But there's nothing you can do
To change the past

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Drinking Life Away

Drinking life away
To mourn and celebrate
With a drink in hand
A prop with which to stand
Have a drink to laugh
And stop sorrows in their path
To grieve at rising sun
Part of nightime fun
Drinking is your brain
The new way of being sane
Drinking is your super power
Your friend at every hour
A pint is always there
Like a friend who cares
A whiskey to relax
Drowning all the crap
But ...

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alcoholalcohol abusebeerboozesociety alcoholwhiskey

Let Not Distraction Keep You!

Let not distraction keep you!


When The Drama of the perfume Fades

The Tossing Tousled hair parades

Settle in a lazy muse and the moon no longer lingers,


When the mystery seems tired as the night turns day,

The conversation feels hired as the wine wears away,


When reality strings together like a cellists’ tune,

Awaking your longing for a richer room

Be the see...

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alcoholdistractiondreamsdrugsfulfillmentPurposewaited lives

Just another night

Wrapped in whiskey 

Tender words roll off your tongue

like how I roll this blunt for us

Car ride to a party we'd rather skip

Turns into an L ride that helps us tolerate

the people you call your friends

You allow alcohol to consume you

And I act like high is the new sober so you let me drive

Stumbling like you can feel the earth's rotation

I play the pillar

the earth's...

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lovesexdrinkingalcoholweedSMOKINGOne Night


We all have out tipple of choice, mine
i sip.
It's potent breath intertwines with mine
filling my lungs with pleasure.
Satisfying all of my dreams and desires.

I swig,
as my words become dizzy, muddled.
Phosphene eyes to match. Spirits,
A wonderful serendipity,
i am free.

I gulp,
my mouth runs away with me, legs
The clock strikes, it's hand jittery
face wobbling.


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alcoholalcoholicalcohol abuseamateurteenager


The stains upon the bar

tell of many sad tales

of love, loss and tragic lives;

and drink to drown out the wails.


Another washed out soul

seeks the solace of the glass,

to wash away the memory

of another broken pass.


Another wheeler-dealer,

another gambling god,

another weary player

bet his life upon the sod.


The rings around his eyes

mark the t...

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safety net

My first real friend was Godfrey

And for the first few weeks of our friendship

I always thought

Who calls their kid Godfrey?

Then I met his Mum

And I thought

He got away lightly

Together we shared our first experience of alcohol

I was thirteen at the time

So a late starter where I grew up

We stole a bottle of sherry from his Dads booze cupboard

Snuck round the back...

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alcoholteenagechildhoodsafety net

Breathing Liquor

Liquor, such a licentious name,

I hear it whispered on TV,

my hair stands on end.

I move the bottles out of sight,

to negate their seductiveness.

They cry to be held or treasured.

The weakness of wine glasses,

resonating when they are washed.

They are true to their purpose at least.

I pour a scant amount,

measuring with molecular like precision.

I swig it back with...

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alcoholalcohol abusealoneness

If The World Was Going To End

If the world was going to end,
And all life was going to bend,
Then I know what I would do,
And It involves me and you.
Jack is first to arrive,
Then some Yeager to survive,
Whiskey's next on the list,
And captain Morgan won't be missed.
We drink and slurp all night long,
Because there is nothing left to go wrong,
We walk down the empty road,
Talking in o...

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AlcoholFunWorld Endpoetry

Red Wine Devine

Red wine, devine - gush great Niagra!

Rose blush my lips, the female viagra

Pink screen my vision and grape stain my teeth,

Crush days to hours and press days to weeks.


Red wine, sublime - course through my veins

Make white my black, make barren my frames

Hide red with rouge and slur a fake smile

Extract the poison, inject the denial.

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Please keep on the grass

Please keep on the grass

Smoking allowed

Nine people in this lift

Play your music loud

Please play ball games

By the entry sign

No speed limit

No closing time

22 units every week

Leave open the gate

Don’t sign in on entry

Stay out until late

Please unfasten your seatbelt

This will be an unpleasant ride

Don’t say I didn’t warn you


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defiancesmokingno smokingmusicspeedalcoholsecuritydrivingChrist


What strange gravities compel you?
Which strong seasons
manipulate the focus of your mind?
What forces are at work
governing your silences and interactions?
What are the properties of magnetic north
that keep you so firmly held there?

Which habits formed into crippling routine
Which once-cradled ambitions did you let burn away?
What hope, was it you had, for all of what you started

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Of Pirates and Poets


As the last drips of rum

slip from glass to lips

I feel the heartache

of pirates and poets.

The anchor is raised on a ship

setting sail for foreign shores,

whilst my glass is raised

and tipped once more.

An empty glass,

an empty bottle;

this is the heartache

of pirates and poets -

to feel the ebb and flow,

to be the empty vessel

on a...

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Mornin' On The Desert

Mornin' on the desert, and the wind is blowin' free,

the elements have freedom,

but what about me?


Trailing from bar to bar

like new age saloons,

why's it so hard

just to find me a home?


I keep on wandering,

wondering where's my milk and honey?

People sippin' on moonshine

or as some call it money.


Mornin' on the desert, and th...

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Once-upon-a-time, a barman worshipped the Sun.

Worked nights so didn’t see much of it

but in his head he’d got stories of

the Fire God supreme,

Blaze Lord,

vanquishing monsters who'd eat out your dreams.


He called the Sun ‘Hero’,

believed it had six pairs of arms,

giant wings of flame

and the handsomest nose in the galaxy.

Made moons blush

and g...

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dominic berrygayqueerveganvegetarianpoetpoemperformancetheatreherowizardfreed upcontactgreenroomflapjacksungodworshipdrinkalcoholbarpubdreammoonstarfaithbeliefstar warslight saberdrunkworkjobnightflatdragonbedsleepdoleunemployedbenefitssickilldepressionanxietystress

The wisdom to know indifference


‘We’re in this


chortled the bloated sweater

in his buttonless cardy,

spurting twenty sober years

into my twenty dry minutes

A moistening newbie, 

taking one small step for


manipulative addicts

one giant leap

to a slipper print

in the quick drying cement

of the AA’s garden path,

just eleven more to the

promised land


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big weekendhebden bridgealcohol

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