amateur (Remove filter)
he doesn't text me anymore
i think to be unloved is to be damned.
for a while i thought myself damned.
can you really be damned at 16?
i gave him two cigarettes this time,
and offered another two.
he smoked them till the tips of his fingers burned,
i wanted to place them on my lips.
suck them, kiss them, cool them.
i sat across from him, nursing one drink, careful with my teeth and my brow.
he...
Thursday 22nd December 2022 11:37 pm
walking
"i know how to walk from here to there"
okay, i muse back,
"so walk through fires with me, walk through"
i cant. i never have been able to.
the places that i walk from are the mouths of cavernous houses.
and from them ive only just realised i can leave.
"i will give you wings and a heart and a lust for the finer things"
good, i need an incentive.
"but you must act upon...
Tuesday 15th November 2022 12:43 am
Cage
Been turning myself to blue and green,
Trapping and locking myself in this fucking cage
Again
And I can't, I cannot, I will not
Let you in here.
Nothing more can rely on me.
And i will spend my days putting stoicism and serenity on pedestals,
And I will be hopeless and choked
And my heart will be lurching
And it passed right by me,
But I realise now that no hand is so...
Tuesday 5th December 2017 1:32 am
Sad Thoughts
we shared our fears
our ambitions
how we felt about love
in a world this cold
it's hard not to feel so alone
paranoia finally got the best of me
she knows i wont rest in peace
we always knew this day would come
a fate filled with grief
id give anything
to hear you say goodbye
one more time
Tuesday 14th November 2017 4:53 am
Habits
We all have out tipple of choice, mine
i sip.
It's potent breath intertwines with mine
filling my lungs with pleasure.
Satisfying all of my dreams and desires.
I swig,
as my words become dizzy, muddled.
Phosphene eyes to match. Spirits,
lifted.
A wonderful serendipity,
i am free.
I gulp,
my mouth runs away with me, legs
unable.
The clock strikes, it's hand jittery
face wobbling.
Friday 16th December 2016 7:00 pm
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