The Ghost in My Car
The Ghost in my Car
I sometimes find my Dad sitting next to me in my car
Not exactly him but some likeness, a ghost from afar.
I can’t exactly see him clear
But either way it’s nice to have him near
I’ll tell him stuff about my life
And he nods and makes positive sounds
I can’t exactly hear him
But either way it’s nice to have him around
I glance...
Saturday 1st April 2023 8:10 pm
Why
Husband, father, brother, son.
Just for another day.
Another day you'd see the sun,
shining bright through clouds.
Today the day was nice.
Only that you weren't there.
Will be more such days,
but you will never see the sky again.
Now there is silent, suffocating heat.
In the heart cold darkness lays.
As cold as metal shue shelf,
which you were hanging from....
Friday 23rd December 2022 11:36 pm
Thank You Dad
Thank you Dad.
Thank you for your deep deep love.
For always making me feel so special and loved.
For teaching me to pass on that love to my own children.
I could not have felt more loved.
Thank you Dad.
Thank you for sharing with me your love of music and poetry.
For reading to me at bedtime and encouraging my love of books.
For instilling in me the love of words and ...
Tuesday 24th May 2022 12:25 pm
Snow
It's cold outside, there he is.
Standing in the snow with the letter from his father.
Just found out it was his last letter from his father, regretting for that silly fight about christmasday.
Realizing that is was his last christmas.
Walking between those fast cars thinking and thinking.
What if I stop?
Is it all worth it?
Was it all worth it?
What should I do?
There he was, looking ...
Wednesday 10th November 2021 4:40 pm
The hurt of remembrance
Tuesday 7th September 2021 11:10 am
A Regular Joe
He was not really special
Just an ordinary guy
I guess you’d call him
A regular
Joe
An ex-army man
He took everything in his stride
He was a positive guy
He was happy to help: He rarely said
No
Throughout his life
He took it all on the chin
When things were hard he worked his way through
He never asked why
He was easy going: he’d go with t...
Friday 18th December 2020 2:31 pm
Flowers In The Bath
Rosebay, willow-herb and common poppy
Garnish each enchanting meadow
Sweet fragrances and alluring hues
Draw rapt villagers to every window
Flowers can be double-edged swords
Marking endless sorrow and pain
I can recall the time my father died
The old tin bath where wreaths were lain
Deadly nightshade or belladonna
Lurks on limestone and dry chalk
Consume th...
Tuesday 18th August 2020 11:03 am
The Bayonet In The Shed [REPOST with audio]
I'm reposting this poem with the audio I recorded of it (as a song) to commemorate my father and the other soldiers who fought during WW2 in Asia - The Forgotten Army of Burma - for the 75th Anniversary of VJ Day
The Bayonet In The Shed
He put it there in forty nine,
in a woodworm riddled drawer,
wrapped it in a greasy rag.
A remnant from the war.
On top of it he laid h...
Friday 14th August 2020 4:14 pm
Ye Tale Of Brave Sir Moppalot
Ye Tale Of Brave Sir Moppalot
I wasn’t quite there yet
So this story is told second hand
Of the bravest and noblest knight
To ever gallop over this land
He was sitting quietly at home
When a neighbour just down the street
Knocked on the castle door
To advise him to get on his feet
A princess in need of his help
Had called out his name in the night
Be...
Sunday 17th May 2020 12:26 pm
Son Of My Father
Son Of My Father
What did you do in the war dad?
I fought against Fascists, son.
And were you frightened there dad?
Did you want to turn around and run?
Yes, I was frightened there son
So, don’t believe the lies that are spun
About the death and the glory of war, boy.
There is death, but of glory there’s none.
Thanks for all that you did dad
A...
Friday 28th February 2020 12:07 am
N/A
never had a dad had to grow up fast, couldnt get over it so i live in the past
lonely and troubled i felt all alone, with little happiness, depression was shown
i fell into violence, drugs were upcoming, nothing felt better than the way that they were numbing
into trouble is what i always got, in and out of facilities, the recovery i fought
four years and my memory is grey, im always j...
Wednesday 15th January 2020 10:19 am
House On The Edge of Town
More and more
my thoughts turn to you
so aware of time
I’m the age now
that you were
when the pair of you parted
you got that rented house
on the edge of town
We’d stay at weekends
watching winter’s tide sweep in
standing in the falling snow
the garden and the fields disappearing
said ‘throw another log on the fire’
said ‘dad, your house is cold’
At fifteen, I was nothing
lost i...
Monday 9th December 2019 6:01 pm
Father
You ask if I believe in God...
How can I not?
To deny my Father
means I leave my existence
to some 30 year old predator
who impregnated a girl half his age
and left her to raise their child
in the wilderness, among wolves
that feed on loneliness and despair.
Without my Father, I would never know
that after suffering comes deliverance,
pain leads to compassion,
forgiveness breaks b...
Sunday 19th May 2019 7:16 pm
Mother
You neglected me,
didn’t protect me,
abandoned me,
chose an abusive man
over your children...
I forgive you.
I give you the
unconditional affection
never afforded me,
because I love you
despite everything
and I don’t want
the past having
power over me.
Thursday 16th May 2019 9:35 pm
Dear Ezra Bebot,
The first time I saw you, your mouth held no words.
I would take you out and watch you marvel at the birds.
Your awkward waddle would bring me smiles.
There was peace in my life holding you as we walked for miles.
The screaming, the crying, the testing,
The laughing, the hugging, the learning.
As I helped you grow, and loved every moment.
Even the ones that involved your excrement.
Saturday 13th April 2019 9:19 pm
A Note to Those With Limits to Their Love
I was not there when he was made
I was not there when he was born
I was not there for his first birthday
I was, there to guide his first steps.
I was there when his mother voiced her disdane and pushed him away.
For the tantrums that felt eternal
The sick days that became my sick days
I was there as his father began a new family and forgot about his last.
When he had no food to...
Saturday 13th April 2019 3:21 am
My father's gift
I remember hearing my father's voice
from beyond the grave.
No dream—a single, scratchy vinyl
had captured his characteristic
lilting, homiletic style,
that seemed,
in and of itself,
to be the message—
no surprises there,
nor flights,
yet a resonance
that touched
and stays with me
...
Friday 5th April 2019 2:17 am
My
I see the opening of your mind's eye,
glittering like a starry sky.
Asking yourself, how high?
The iron will that says, I try.
Go my darling, you'll fly.
Full of joy, I cry.
The apple of your father's eye.
Wednesday 10th October 2018 11:16 pm
Family Tree
I'm afraid to have kids
What if they get my depression
Or addiction
Or fucking alcoholism?
What am I supposed to say to them?
"Sorry kiddo,
Suck it up.
You'll soon find out,
Life just fucking sucks"
It's just not fair
To pass on an ongoing burden
To watch my kid suffer
Knowing that I can't relieve them
They're supposed to be protected
But I can't save them from themself
It jus...
Friday 16th February 2018 5:22 pm
Life by Numbers
Life by Numbers
1. My father walks the sea-edge and is young, as a child is young.
2. My father's voice is hardwood, and timpan drums.
7. My father's eyes are tired.
16. The cyclone clouds hang swollen sheets above.
19. I am afraid.
20. I shall put fear at the bottom of depths the deep blue made.
25. My brothers' arms surround me.
31. We sit on the brim of laught...
Saturday 25th November 2017 9:08 am
love.
have you ever experienced
a love
so strong
you question your beliefs?
I'm an atheist.
I don't believe in a god
or an afterlife
but
this love
makes me wonder
if over the course of time
our souls
have been colliding
and bonding
and that's why
everything
is so natural
between us
I'm not talking about something romantic
but something innocent
for he has touched my hea...
Monday 30th October 2017 6:57 am
Words
words
no man should know
or say
words
no child should hear:
parent, pray
to be spared.
as he sat with his sons at home
and struggled to find
words:
he knew
she will never return to us
he knew
she is too ill
In a time when she was strong
for them
as her body weake...
Wednesday 20th September 2017 3:36 pm
am i selfish?
Note: there is some strong language in this. it's not too bad. it's not too excessive, either. one word in here twice, i think. and if you're wondering, yes, the colors mean something. and yes, im genuinely asking a question to you, the reader. and to the person this is about. but i pray he never reads or finds this. anyway, enjoy.
Am I selfish for wanting another hug?
I handed you the...
Sunday 23rd April 2017 4:54 pm
will blue turn into purple?
You were wearing purple today. Purple is going to be ×××'s color now. But blue has always been mine. That's how I knew I was ready to give you that letter. You were wearing my color...
Your eyes were a brighter blue today. After you came in from having a cigarette, you walked past me, then paused. Coffee and tobacco smoke. That's what you smelled like. That's my smell now.
"Just under a minu...
Sunday 23rd April 2017 4:45 am
The Father's Curse
The Father’s Curse
I am not the man you used to be
the acorn falling softly
in the shade of your tree
raising ungrateful sons
to their own prosperity
fighting a war
so that others could be free
the nurturing of potential
that you swore you couldn’t see
expected to take root
and share your ancient symmetry
being a loving father
when it wasn’t m...
Wednesday 19th April 2017 12:15 pm
Soldier's Box
Soldier’s Box
Wooden box
Lock
Key
Brass bullet casing
Spent
Flakes of tobacco
Unsmoked
Grains of sand
Sepia tinted photograph
Pyramids
And pith helmets
Soldiers Service
And Pay book
Will unwritten
Will not needed
Nib encrusted
Fountain pen
Brass button
Coloured ribbon
Yellowed letters
Ink a faded blue
S...
Monday 27th February 2017 5:04 pm
He left
He left
He left behind his broken wife and his scared son
He left
He left us cold, all alone with no one
He left
The vows, they meant nothing
The promises, broken
I just wish we meant something
More than just empty words spoken
I cried for days at a time
My young son wiped every tear
Leaving us was a crime
And now, it's been 1 year
An...
Sunday 1st January 2017 11:32 pm
Waiting on flowers
I am waiting for the day that you will show up at my door
With a flower for every birthday you missed.
Twenty-one flowers of vibrant colors—
Turquoise, violet, “tickled pink”—
They will spread their pedals in the warm spotlight
That will touch every inch of my cold, pale skin.
The features of my face will be illuminated.
I will no longer be the infant you left—
The life tha...
Saturday 24th September 2016 1:57 am
Blue Smoke Ghost
Blue Smoke Ghost
A matchbox scratch
A flare of light
The smell of sulphur
A yellow patch
Above his chair
On the ceiling
A row of pipes
Hung in a rack
Saliva drips
The suck
And suck
And suck on shank
Red glow
In the dusk
On a back step
The aroma
Of spices
In the ready-rub
Scratching
Grey ash
From the c...
Friday 15th July 2016 7:43 pm
The man who would never surrender
Look over there,
Sat in that comfy reclining chair,
Is a man so wise and strong,
With so much knowledge which was seldom wrong.
The way his eyes would sparkle when he laughed,
And his cheesy smile on all his photographs.
His daytime nap making a little snore,
Is he really asleep? I think as I open the door.
He was such a good old joker,
Yet kept a face as straight a...
Thursday 7th July 2016 12:02 pm
Father.
This make-believe story I predicted in my head,
To pieces upon the ground does it fall.
A happiness once experienced -
A security long gone,
And a father I had imagined -
Now a memory in which I had created.
But, the hurt inside is real -
All torn up, how does my heart continue to beat?
A trauma of the past -
Why must I remember what I wish not to?
I created...
Wednesday 6th July 2016 10:44 pm
The Bayonet In The Shed
The Bayonet In The Shed
He put it there in forty nine,
in a woodworm riddled drawer,
wrapped it in a greasy rag.
A remnant from the war.
On top of it he laid his medals,
nothing more was said
until the day my father
took the bayonet from the shed.
We had pestered many times
and he had said ‘perhaps’
when we asked him if he’d killed
any Krauts or any Ja...
Monday 16th May 2016 12:24 pm
FATHER AND SON
I touch your cheek,
I'm surprised, it's cold.
I reach for your hand
for I need it to hold.
I look upon your face
that beamed and sparkled
as we loved and laughed,
wrestled and tickled.
Your face is so pallid,
the sparkle is gone,
no more to smile
at the hot summer sun.
Your hair neatly tended,
you lie there so still
as I try, with memories,
...Monday 29th June 2015 11:34 am
DAD
There was a man I knew,
not too close, not too far,
as a child he was there
to tend to my scars.
A man with a past,
of that I had no doubt,
a man, when provoked,
who knew how to shout.
A happy man
with a smile for all,
he'd always be there to
pick me up when I'd fall.
And though never far away,
we were never very close,
a sign of those times
...Sunday 17th May 2015 11:54 pm
Dexteram Patris
Dexteram Patris
Uncomfortable
seeing him that way,
and she,
ever supportive,
gently touching
his arm
for reassurance
but there is a failing,
something not the same,
although in looks
we are so similar.
The Prodigal returns
and sees his father,
straight of back
and stern of countenance,
falling to pieces.
The once proud frame -
busted
and she,
as beautiful as always,
...
Monday 2nd March 2015 7:12 pm
*Violence To Ones Own*
October-7-1997
Trisha M. Hopkins
{I}
Waiting for him, sitting in the car
Under the erie moonlight
Imagening what he'll do
Seing him in the distance, Seeing him in the night
His mind shouting "I'm going to get you!"
{II}
He sees himself going after the man
He sees himself dragging him, dragging, dragging
Tying the man up
Everything is so dim
Under the erie moonlight
{III}
Torc...
Monday 9th February 2015 12:23 am
Dad and My Car
I sometimes find my Dad sitting next to me in my car
Not exactly him but some likeness, a vision from afar.
I can’t exactly see him clear
But either way it’s nice to have him near.
I sometimes find myself talking to my Dad,
Sitting next to me, in my car
It’s good to talk after all these years and I suppose he’s not really there
But it feels so good, so I don’t really care...
Monday 1st December 2014 12:40 am
Blood thief
There’s a floor called race and a home called blood,
it can be what forms you.
It can be what clothes you, what warms you as it flows through your body,
a rich honey providing brotherhood, relation, family and love -
bonds of pride which cartwheel through your body.
I have a mystery and in my father lies the clues.
I had droplets of speciality, uniqueness, distinction, excitement...
Saturday 29th November 2014 10:59 pm
The Monster
She was born from a parent
who left her at a young age
to be raised by a monster.
This monster created
such fear and depression
for this poor young girl.
The monster she feared
was there everyday waiting
for when she got home
or for when she woke.
The monster she didn't love
broken her down far too much
that even a thought of it
or the thought of being home
would make her panic.
...
Friday 28th November 2014 4:58 pm
The Dream
The following is a dream. In a small way I hope the ending comes true
My Mother, Sister, Brother and I check into a hotel room.
When we enter the room my Dad who passed away
almost five years ago is sitting on the bed.
We ask, "Daddy why are you here?" He says "I wanted to
see my family." We are overcome with emotion and hug
him. We are all talking at once.
...
Friday 21st November 2014 2:47 am
A Bigger Man Than Me
I always liked the jacket my Dad wore.
One day I found it
Hanging lonely and forlorn
In a wardrobe
And I thought of him and me
And remembered he was a bigger man than me
I tried the jacket on
And felt him close once again
I always liked the little pocket for a watch and chain
But to my dismay the jacket didn’t fit, not at all
It was too small
Though he was a b...
Monday 25th November 2013 9:26 pm
REGRETS
Friday 1st November 2013 12:01 am
Whereabouts
What strange gravities compel you?
Which strong seasons
manipulate the focus of your mind?
What forces are at work
governing your silences and interactions?
What are the properties of magnetic north
that keep you so firmly held there?
Which habits formed into crippling routine
Which once-cradled ambitions did you let burn away?
What hope, was it you had, for all of what you started
whe...
Tuesday 6th August 2013 11:09 pm
Ottava Riva - NaPoWriMo Day 8
Another attempt at my paternal tongue.
Un altro tentativo di mia lingua paterna.
And though I beam with pride as I'm learning.
E anche se mi fascio con orgoglio, come sto imparando.
I'm aware that translated, the metre is wrong.
Sono consapevole del fatto che tradotto, lo strumento è sbagliato.
But this language pulsates to my yearning.
Ma questo linguaggio pu...
Monday 8th April 2013 11:31 pm
For I will Praise My Father
For I will praise my father
for his giant frame
that once dwarfed me
as an oak tree
dwarfs a flower;
and for his big hands,
sure and strong,
and for the blue
sea secret of his eyes;
and I will praise him again
for the work he did
and the back
he bowed to feed me;
and more for the songs
he never sang,
and those he kept
to kindle
...
Thursday 14th June 2012 12:09 pm
Poem for my Dad
Poem For My Dad
In the deepest darkest recess of the mind
The saddest memory is there to find
There’s nothing more to say except I miss you Dad,
We had our time together, good and bad
And many differences, we had
After all, you were a man who got an apple and an orange for Christmas
And I was a lad who began the biggest record collection in th...
Sunday 26th February 2012 4:45 pm
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