Much like my father this boy that I have intriguingly clung to does not have any appreciation for my existence much less my helpless soul.

I feel like the caring down syndrome child that begs his alcoholic of a father to love him yet the only thing he has spoken is how unmanageable the poor child is.

I am very lost and also heartbroken, I am the dirty tile in the corner of the kitchen that is too far to reach and much too complicated to care for, so I sit and wilt.

Why do I feel such a way? The universe has yet to answer me why I feel the way I feel and why I am treated poorly by all the male beings of the world.

I feel I am falling into a never-ending ball pit hoping that at the end the man I have always dreamed about would be there but the hurtful truth is I will never get there.

I ask myself why but I simply know that I am blinded by the little boy who paints a perfect picture of love to me but also only shows a little sliver of appreciation to me and for some odd reason that means the world to me.