struggle (Remove filter)
It's that time after the entire day is over and it's dark out there so feel some calmness in your surrounding. When music takes over your every sense, and you just do what you love to do after your entire day is finished.
Oh! don't get any other ideas, I'm just talking about your hobbies, not something that takes control over your soul. I'm not talking about 'Something' that deep, just your ho...
Tuesday 26th July 2022 5:41 am
Just leave me alone and let me find peace
I don't want to hurt
I don't want to weep
Who’s are the voices inside my head?
Why do they hate me?
What have I said?
Why let them get to me?
What do I say?
Why can’t I make them all just go away?
Why do I feel I have to paint on a smile?
Why can’t I just be ‘me’ for a while?
These are the questions I’m asking each day
The voices, the demons I...
Sunday 22nd May 2022 4:02 pm
Empathy and care
that burns.. a never ending struggle
No result - No change - No difference
Except to me
that’s the difference
can’t be ignored
can’t be left
Mental illness more resilient than all the love in the world.
I didn’t know that
Tuesday 15th March 2022 9:40 am
Wake and feel,
wake and breathe..
Where? What? Is it?
Don’t endure this – it’s a waste. Live - try to live.
move a little
move a little more.
Thursday 24th February 2022 9:52 am
Real love is life threatening
It’s not serene, sweet, dream love
It’s not romantic, rainbow love
True love is torture
Gut wrenching pain
Hands and knees, love
Need it to breathe, love
It’s enough to put you away, love
But never pull you away, love
It’s masochistically addictive
It titillates and irritates
Possesses every bit
Until you have a fit...
Tuesday 23rd November 2021 11:15 am
Father's fell in the ages of stones ,
Then I was given names by companions .
In me there grew a pain none could see ,
As I watched back in the days ,
Others were bought Christmas gifts ,
While I sat back ,with burning wishes
I recall slowly ,the path itself was a war
With that little hope I grew, daily.
Everyday storms would sneak in the little shelter that Momma gav...
Saturday 27th March 2021 10:49 am
How come it can be this hard
To climb these mountains in my path
And just a small mistake
Is all it takes to slide back down?
How come it can be this tough
To climb the steps in this building?
And just a little fail
Brings me straight back down.
How come it's never quite enough
And the journey's never easy?
Could it be because
Joy keeps falling out of reach?
How come although I ...
Wednesday 17th February 2021 1:13 am
Dark side Drug ride
Natural pain now overrides all illegal chems submitted. I’m now confident with this habit I’ve admitted.
If writing makes me feel good I should do it, if singing means so much why aim so hard to lose this touch
Lyrics in music become more relatable, you become what you hear. You surrender your soul and let go of established fear.
Where is the fi...
Friday 20th November 2020 8:45 pm
Why do all the greatest ideas arise after illegal consumption. Why does fate always suggest such a temptation.
It’s exhausting the provided short lived excitement. Aiming to throw our reality of its alignment.
Time starts to have no logical meaning. it starts to no longer seem to exist. The struggle is a twisted game you fail to resist.
It’s unnatural what my body is now ...
Friday 20th November 2020 8:42 pm
Life is like the smallest flower
Stretching for some sun
When all the bigger ones devour
All it could become
Sunday 15th November 2020 1:30 pm
I gave you my life
You gave it back
But you live your life
Behind a mask
Hiding a secret
It’s yours to tell
But you should have told me
Before I fell
You are to blame
You caused me pain
Why can't you love me the same
Building years of friendship
Building years of love
Growing strong together
Embracing all we’ve got
But this charade
Is what you made
I see the truth
As it slowly ...
Wednesday 29th July 2020 10:31 pm
Like a scared child in the shadows
Lurking to find what’s right
Strange feelings overtake me
And my chest is feeling tight
Why does it feel abnormal
Why does it seem so strange
I don't have one attraction
I have multiple in my range
Why does it sound so dirty
In an homophobic head
Why do I feel so troubled
By what others might have said
Is it them who have the problem
Or am I running ...
Tuesday 28th July 2020 11:05 am
Trying hard to save me
Fighting hard to stay
Sorting through the feelings
That never go away
I may look harder from the outside
But no-one sees the me within
Cuz if they saw for just one moment
They would see I’m crumbling
I need help to get me through
Another day of feeling blue
Of feeling weak, I’m not that strong
Of feeling who I am is wrong
But I’ll get through
I know it’s tr...
Monday 27th July 2020 1:48 pm
Demons are coming
Engrossed with my brain
Their taking control
Am I going insane
They try to take over
The thoughts in my head
But I won’t let them get me
I’ll get them instead
Fighting with demons
Keep those demon’s at bay
Caged in a corner
Keep those demons away
When panic takes over
Those demons are close
They’re reaching and beating
They fill me with doubt
But stood in the ...
Saturday 25th July 2020 11:54 pm
Inside I’m breaking, I’m aching, in falling apart
The mess in my head is a real work of art
I’d unravel this mess but where would I start
Picked away at the seams bit by bit, part by part
The confusions, delusions
I just think what I have
But then thinking and sinking
I start to feel sad
Then with sadness there’s madness
And then I feel bad
These confusions, delusions are driving me ma...
Saturday 25th July 2020 11:21 am
In a dusky morning, the sun was setting,
Wanted to scream in a silent mic.
No more of this frustration, no more of this hatred,
Death was the only freedom came to his mind.
Listening to the people, listening to himself he realised,
Many a things don't matter, So does his life.
Losing his hobby, his like, his ego, his pride.
Losing his humanity, was what it was like.
'Try to stay po...
Wednesday 8th July 2020 3:10 pm
Sweet summer sunshine
And her warm embrace,
Her radiance, as pale as egg-whites,
Veils her face.
She shies away from you and I
Behind the soufflé of clouds,
Mighty and high,
Far, far away from the mortal crowd.
Or perhaps she's afraid
Of the power we hold
To birth, sunder and devastate
Those shaped from the same dough.
Fragile feeble fingers...
Thursday 18th June 2020 7:24 am
It’s a weird feeling.
I try so hard to put on a show
To all of my friends
And my family
I need to be strong.
I don't want pity
I don't want to be a charity case
I’ve always been the person people come to for advice
And I’ve always been there for all my friends
And goddammit, I wish they were there for me
Thursday 9th April 2020 8:27 am
They seek shelter from the rain
In the doorways of the city
Although the lights shine so bright
Believe for them it's far from pretty
Watching the world pass them by
In a kaleidoscope of grey
Feeling like nobody notices them
As we continue with our day
All they ask for is a moment
Someone to stop and talk
Providing them with some comfort
From life's painful, lonely...
Sunday 26th January 2020 1:41 am
How many times must I rinse off the moon
And unpeel the stars from my skin?
Have someone ask what were you drinking?
How many times must I try clinging to lamp lights?
Try configuring keys into shining beacons?
I cannot see in the dark
Yes, blackouts steal my sight
But when finished,
I wake up feeling feverish
And fear ferments and festers
The night can be sticky
Monday 13th January 2020 2:41 pm
You discover them
one by one
climbing up the walls
searching for something to satisfy their hunger
They gather there
smelling the sweetness calling them
they see their chance
a long journey has taken place
Will they reach their target
or will they be wiped out
only to start over again
Wednesday 18th December 2019 9:35 pm
You can misplace your mind
You can't forfeit your mind
When you've built a fort for your mind
Mine is bulletproof,
I can stay outside of myself
I can step outside of the world
I watched us having a conversation
From my window panes
Through the heavy glaze
It made me feel some type...
Sunday 1st December 2019 12:56 pm
I'm dedicated. Not addicted. I'm in control. It's my desicion. I say what And I say where. And if you ask jus rig;;
Saturday 6th July 2019 5:19 am
Searching for you
You’re the word
On the tip of my tongue
- tip - tip – tick – tock
You’re the face on my clock
You’re the catch in my breath
Like if I was to cough
Words of you
Would just tumble out
Like if I was to shout
Words of you
Would just rumble out
You’re built into my skull
You’re the clutch over my brain
You’re running through my veins...
Monday 1st July 2019 1:27 pm
She’s a bright star, within the unlit night
Guiding others through, the tough thing, that we call life
Her strength is beyond admirable to all
And even if she should ever fall
She would somehow, pull though
The things, that to others, it would inevitably un-do
Her beauty and grace, isn’t just a way to save face
She's had to fight great wars, every single day
Wednesday 15th May 2019 7:23 pm
I'm losing my mind,
I'm flipping the script,
On this sobriety shit,
I can't get a grip,
The truth hurts,
But it sets us free,
Its holding me back,
I just wanna scream,
The tracks that I have,
And the scars on my arms,
Are all just reminders,
Of the people that I've harmed,
So I open my eyes,
To the things that make me blind,
That's why I keep trying,
One day at a time.
Tuesday 15th January 2019 8:12 am
In and out the sea doth sway
Erasing mans death and decay.
An old man's struggle,
No net, no sail. Only a flag
of permanent defeat.
Great fish swimming around and around,
the reel running, a screaming sound.
A Marlin swims, the ultimate catch,
only days to see if luck they will have.
The men struggle and pray away,
A massive catch needed to save the day.
Tuesday 31st July 2018 12:09 am
His touch is revolting,
hot. agressive. forced.
His breath rancid,
moist. surrounding. tainted.
His saliva was acidic,
impure. contaminated. corrosive.
I push away,
but I am overruled.
My skin is burning off at his every touch.
as my flesh melts off my skeleton.
Looking down at myself,
I see a shell of who I once was.
I peer into his dark,
Monday 4th June 2018 11:03 pm
in the winter of my agony
july's heat long forgotten,
january's frost an eternal constant
Tuesday 6th March 2018 10:30 pm
A brain that’s been tapped and tinkered is suddenly transformed.
A soul that’s been prodded and pulled is carefully put back in its place.
Thoughts have been dusted and polished and put away in their boxes.
A gut that been untangled, unknotted, instead now tied in a bow.
But then the scars to the brain have split.
The crack in its box is on display.
A scratch to the soul wan...
Wednesday 30th November 2016 2:43 pm
Unrequited love is the destruction of the heart
It is walking across an endless desert occupied with faded mirages that show you beauty like never before
Constantly consumed by its wonder, constantly consumed by the despair for your love for it
She is the mirage, you are the lonley aching fool in an endless desert
You are the one slowly suffocating by the boundless intesity of what you...
Tuesday 27th September 2016 5:03 pm
A lock on the the door, a no vacancy sign,
A glitch in the process, a flaw in design.
An important step skipped, an opportunity missed.
A sunrise slept through, pretty lips never kissed.
A trail never never blazed, a sea never never sailed.
A an old man full of stories, with no one to tell.
A kid with no candy store, a garden, less bloom.
A beautiful centerpiece in a cold empt...
Thursday 18th February 2016 1:08 am
I got a taste for blood last night.
It wasn’t yours,
It wasn’t his,
It wasn’t hers,
I got a taste for blood last night and it was my own.
Sometimes I consider draining myself dry,
Sucking myself into sand
Come, watch me crumble.
I got a taste for the blood which runs
From my lips.
But nobody ever described self destruction like this,
I never considered I mig...
Thursday 11th February 2016 2:43 am
Lust consumes those who fall or the trap
Confusion or jealousy twitches above eyes
Desire to amount to more than the simplicity of existing
Desire to feel desired
Tender affection is rejected by violin strings of broken beings
Sympathy will be forbidden, the truth hidden
Blackness only welcomes sin.
Wednesday 14th October 2015 11:33 am
Do I still have it, I know I do, Just gotta find the right release, Or is it the right beat, I keep making excuses to questions no one asks, but me, Feeling like I need to set myself free, I believe I can get myself there, Yet where do I start, Smoking weed and drinking ain't helped shit, Almost makes it harder, All I write is poems no rhymes yet, So much ambition lost down the ...
Sunday 15th March 2015 9:04 pm
Men with brilliant minds fought a war in the ether, fighting an invisible war.
Using maths to crack enemy codes of unbelievable complexity.
Making sure they were never found out.
Enigma and Lorenz were cracked by pure brain power.
Mathematics being the power of intelligence, enemy codes saying everything.
Hidden no more.
Lists of army units and air force ord...
Sunday 22nd September 2013 11:54 pm
A silence fell upon the city,
contorted shadows twisting moonlight.
Stuttering in a speakeasy seemed so misplaced
bottles rattled flickering like Fedora feathers
in an unforgiving wind.
The wretched odour of deprivation
a stench that sticks and degrades ones existence.
Even by day this city remains a lifeless sap
and by night the vampires feast on th...
Tuesday 9th April 2013 4:44 pm
TIME WILL TELL…
I’m a prisoner in my own life, got a deluge of violent images bombarding me. Oh god make it stop, it brings me to my knees. I swear I’m not a violent man; my problems from the past are years old, at times they come and get me at night, for those hours I’m on my own and vulnerable in my bed, the assault continues.
I try to use my common sense to distance myself from...
Thursday 22nd September 2011 11:42 pm
Invisible but not voiceless,
This fire within me burning;
Fueled by things long since done;
Uncertain it would continue
And most certainly would one day end.
Resounding vermillion trains,
Travelling across frontier lands;
That began by fits and starts.
But this is just the beginning,
And most certainly is not the end.
Smearing the silence with my t...
Wednesday 2nd March 2011 12:54 pm
Drenched in heavy morning rain
Like an arctic soaking to the vein;
I just sat there stunned and wordless,
by the results of endless tests.
Only do I seek the scoffer's sympathy;
my litanies dot the bottom of this timpani.
No restaurant on high street offers...
Whoa! I found where my sanity rests:
A very com...
Monday 20th December 2010 9:51 am