How come it can be this hard
To climb these mountains in my path
And just a small mistake
Is all it takes to slide back down?
How come it can be this tough
To climb the steps in this building?
And just a little fail
Brings me straight back down.
How come it's never quite enough
And the journey's never easy?
Could it be because
Joy keeps falling out of reach?
How come although I ...
Wednesday 17th February 2021 1:13 am
Explaining you about my sexuality won't help
Explaining you about my existence won't help
Thought you are my buddy, will get me without explaining much.
I am just a bit different, can't you get this much.
I know you have a life partner to share all your tensions,
And wanted me to be happy, and feel all that emotions,
But I am happy just by myself,
You again and again telling me what to do...
Sunday 14th February 2021 5:13 pm
Today's blog is another in which there are two versions of the same poem. This time we have a short and a long version. If I were to keep only one I would probably keep the long version but since they are meditations I feel like it is OK for there to be two versions of the poem.
Version 1 – Long
In Death I cannot cling to who I am or was,
I will not know or see or hear or think,
Saturday 6th February 2021 8:20 am
When I close my eyes, that is peace.
When I breathe out, that is peace.
That is peace when I open my eyes,
And when I breathe in
That is peace.
When I sit down, that is peace.
When I am silent, that is peace.
That is peace when I stand up,
And when I speak to others
That is peace.
When I sleep, that is peace.
When I choose to dream, that is peace.
That is peace when I wake up,
Thursday 17th December 2020 10:57 am
Let me spend my whole life trying
And not mind the outcome
When it comes out.
Let me spend my whole time helping
And not mind.
Let me spend my whole life dreaming
And not mind reality
When it turns out.
Let me spend my whole time smiling
And not mind.
Let me spend my whole life living
And not mind dying
When time runs out.
Let me spend my whole time giving
And not mind.
Saturday 12th December 2020 6:08 am
I thank earth.
I thank my fortune in being born where and when,
And to whom and with whom I was born.
I thank water.
I thank my fortune in having health and sense,
And sense of health, and sense of sense.
I thank wind.
I thank my fortune in my paths and choices,
For they have led me to this path and choice.
I thank fire.
I thank my fortune in my abilities and disabilities
Thursday 26th November 2020 2:58 pm
Like a scared child in the shadows
Lurking to find what’s right
Strange feelings overtake me
And my chest is feeling tight
Why does it feel abnormal
Why does it seem so strange
I don't have one attraction
I have multiple in my range
Why does it sound so dirty
In an homophobic head
Why do I feel so troubled
By what others might have said
Is it them who have the problem
Or am I running ...
Tuesday 28th July 2020 11:05 am
Nothing is more permanent than memory
Cast-iron files of pain locked in your head
The mind gets drawn back to errors and loss
Magnetised by things you should have said
Torturer is chief is villainous hindsight
Squatting by the guillotine with a smirk
Chewing over all those might-have-beens
In lost chances where grief and loss lurk
Even in dreams we face the angry ...
Monday 13th July 2020 11:14 am
Once there was a boy
Full of misery and no joy
Given up hopes a long by
Just in a stand still when she crossed by.
'You can do it. You were great'
This was the first time when someone said..
This feeling of accomplishment he never felt,
This feeling of achievement he never had.
Never had someone who believed in him.
Waiting for a long time, gathering enough guts,
Wanted to say 'thank...
Tuesday 7th July 2020 7:53 pm
Upon first glance,
I see a Hollywood smile,
an air of intrigue greets passers by.
But, when I look into her eyes,
I see something much different
than her pursed lips convey.
distrust, trauma, fear...
all pushed down, covered
with happy highlights
for the world to see.
Perhaps, it’s simply a reflection
of my insecurities,
Friday 27th March 2020 3:40 am
I step out into the darkness
with the sky lit above me
The orb has reached its full potential
and I am reminded of the beauty around me
The twinkling above is the same as it’s always been
but much brighter than I’ve allowed myself to see
Somewhere out there under the same sky
you’ve been thinking of me
and I can finally breathe again
Sunday 9th February 2020 6:20 pm
Prevented, unplanned, unknown.
4 years later.
3 years old, I can’t imagine,
what it would be like.
I thought it was.
you can love and let go.
For a reason, everything happens, they say.
Believed, I believe it.
You were a lesson.
I would not be who,
Tuesday 26th November 2019 6:48 pm
I once made her my home.
I would go there every day.
I memorized the cracks on the walls,
The shadows dancing around flickering lights,
The water leaking through the floor.
I took a walk through haunted hallways where I hung portraits of childhood wounds,
memories of past heartbreaks,
mementos of loss and regret.
But like a child who outgrows her clothes
I no lon...
Tuesday 27th August 2019 10:27 pm
The following piece is a snippet from Buzzin Bards Manchester Poetry Anthology, submissions are still open at: https://www.localgemspoetrypress.com/buzzin-bards-poetry-anthology.html
While you’re too busy being two-faced
I’ve got one face with many layers.
Take me at face value, or take a detour,
reforged, like Ant Man upon my deep pores.
Tryna get 1UP, that’s a weak score...
Friday 2nd August 2019 11:47 am
i am as a sapling in the shadow of a hundred year oak
try not to breathe, not to stir
i wish to remain unnoticed at the edge of your meadow
here in my solitude
i dare not disturb this perfect silence
inexplicable and deeper than night
nothing casting it
a black shadow wavers in the bright sunlight
it covers the the meadow floor
pulling at my curiosity I am lost in it's mystery
Sunday 16th June 2019 10:44 am
I write, but I may be wrong
So I cross things out as I go along
Sometimes I will uncross too
Go back, revisit, start anew.
I write, but I may not know
The proper style or way to go
To free the feelings that I feel
And portray them true, with zest and zeal.
I write, but sometimes I ask
What is the purpose of this task?
Does any body realy care
To see and hear what I...
Saturday 6th April 2019 2:44 pm
Our ultimate journey
in life brings us
to the place of
You are enough.
I am enough.
I see you
beyond the labels
You see the same
spirit in me.
and that is
Poem inspired by Oprah's Super Soul Conversations with Elizabeth Lesser, author of The Marrow of...
Friday 18th January 2019 1:22 pm
We were born sick
But we adore it,
Living on the edge,
The dual extremes
in which we thrive,
are eating us alive.
Devouring our souls,
Ripping us apart,
Yet wholesome we feel
With our demons so close,
Sat upon our shoulder
Whispering to us, sins..
Orders upon orders
to which we must follow.
Monday 18th June 2018 3:29 pm
The soul seeks passion and truth
The body wants to remain aloof
Our minds are the constant challenge
Insert life into the equation
It sometimes leaves you unbalanced
Hearts that lack devotion
Why do we fear the truth?
Our comfort zones keep us subdued
Knowledge, wisdom and power
Lost souls stuck in the tower
Sunday 13th May 2018 4:41 am
The clover is blooming
Like blood in the hills
Hungry beauty of summer
Its early impatient pace
I have the thought
That these routines are breaking
That not so far from now I'll have
a different best time
Because this early sweet
Late lazy spring
Will have drastic changes
No borders between extremes
I want this forever yet that is insane
This forward movemen...
Friday 20th April 2018 9:56 pm
Your time is worth less than mine,
Ill serve him for a moment, you serve me for a while,
Its just how it is, its just how it is,
Its just how it is! let your view become mine,
My time is worth less than yours,
I accept my place for my background flawes,
But i haveto say, but i haveto say!
Its just how it is, let my view become yours,
I feel your discomfort, eyes sore from rolling,
Saturday 3rd March 2018 11:45 pm
From the front at least
A beautiful victorian dresser
The ugly truth
Assembled from wooden orange crates
The company name stamped
Telling of a former
More humble existence
Two little drawers
One at each side
Gunmetal latch handles
From opening and closing
Hold family secrets
Snaps from Blackpool ...
Sunday 19th November 2017 8:23 pm
For the purpose of context: I was born with congenital heart disease, so I've long ago come to terms with my own mortality. Death does not scare me, and I'm forever grateful for each day I have. This piece is art considering the ache that comes after a break-up, it is not a suicide note, or an intention. :-)
I have no fear of death;
The welcome arms of darkness
Will be a reprieve from the
Monday 30th January 2017 3:02 am
Maybe my last step
Im not turning on lights
I wanna walk blind
Maybe fall in the road
See a falling star going 80 miles an hour
But it all moves slow
Why move i like it here
No pain i cant feel a thing
Im content why go?
i bet if i jump wave around ill scare it
and its all mine so i wont share it
come ill show you where depression lies
in a 2005 chevy lights...
Monday 5th September 2016 9:43 am
You pick up the trees and you wave them like fans
But her face continues to sweat.
You unravel the ground and you drain it of soil
But her stomach never rounds,
Her mouth remains open.
You bottle up the ocean till all water is extinct
Yet she continues to faint of thirst.
You take life from the earth,
You remove breath from the world
And she continues to perform still bi...
Saturday 21st May 2016 4:59 pm
The first hypnosis occurred as he stare down from the broken white portrayal hearted cross, An unholy smoke justification to put greed forward any cause, without delving to the bottom of a pretend whisky spine glass, where desperately intolerant profit dreams seem wasted if kept immortally repressed in a book of uncommitted commandments entitled: Equinox Psalm of Offences, neve...
Sunday 1st June 2014 9:54 am
Drawing worthless diction as fire,
Unqualified lucid pictures of muted clouds entitled hope, Inaudibly described via a depravity of discord, A torrential malady choir of misshapen atonement deficit cast foreseen just libel out angels, Whose eyes re filled with numb denouncement matriarchal Lilith established garden of misery over marionette's adorned with the purposeful threat of silence ...
Saturday 31st May 2014 11:05 am
When we think about the freedoms
our ancestors thought for,
the cracking of the great enigma.
Futile hopes soaked in apple-core tears
crashing like a faulty application.
Remember, that's so gay.
When you websling like Spidey
page to page.
From songs on YouTube,
to memes about Derp...
remember his hurt.
Remember, that's so gay.
Thursday 10th January 2013 8:57 pm
Wednesday 26th December 2012 1:49 am
Let the chips fall,
We're cutting down a tree.
But only to build a bridge
made of electricity.
It's connecting you and me,
to a future we can't see.
Que sera, sera,
What will be will be.
The light that shines inside us
is directing you to me.
Fate is in auto-pilot and it flies in stealth
the beauty of surrender
is a new abundant wealth.
To hell with always asking why
Tuesday 31st January 2012 8:00 pm