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The Fields of Avalon (pt 2 & 3)

(Part 2)

The monsters find a way.


Those precious years that followed 

Were summer fields of fragrant flowers 

Where dreams, thought long forgotten

Had returned to fill the hours 


We had a princess of our own

Kept the witch & the goblins at bay 

For, if they knew we had an heir

They would, surely, take her away!


But, somehow, they found her Mother 


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For You, Wherever You Are

It was on my first of many elevator rides 

up from the basement floor

I met a woman with short, red hair and a leather jacket, 

who I only ever saw 

just this once. 


I don’t know whether I ever responded

when she spoke to me

or to God

or to the elevator door 



three years ago, now,

they had given her six months to live. 



three ye...

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Jack's Story

First they came for freedom of speech, but I did not speak out

Because my sources told me what I wanted to hear, 


Then they came for the Poor, but I did not speak out 

Because I was not poor, 


Then they came for the Trade Unionists, but I did not speak out 

Because I was not a Trade Unionist, 


Then they came for the Socialists, but I did not speak out 


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freedom of speechthe poortrade unionistssocialistsrefugeesPalestiniansJewsmental health servicesFire ServiceAmbulance ServicePolice ServiceNHSCancer

Friday Morning Chemo Brain

Today at school, I locked myself in the bathroom 

so I could cry where no one could see.


Things aren’t the same anymore and I don’t know 

how to communicate it.


I find myself unable to do the simplest things—

to comprehend, to remember, to articulate 

the things I could before.


This morning, I sat in silence and stretched and breathed in deeply, 

and I said t...

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I Want You to Know

I want to tell you.

 I want to write it down. 

I want to have the right words.

I want to feel them. I want you to feel them. I want you to feel what I felt. 

I want you to know. About everything. I want to show it to you in broad daylight. 

I want you to see it. I want you to face it. I want you to taste it 

when the water turns to bleach. I want it to blister the inside of your ...

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cancerexpressiongriefhealingshort poem

Ode to the Butterfly Window

I always hoped I’d get a seat next to them—


After so many hours in that chair, you look for anything to make you smile.

Most days I came prepared with things to occupy my mind.


I carried a book of Kate Bush’s song lyrics, called How to Be Invisible, which had been nearly ruined once when I spilled an entire canteen of water in the bag I packed to take to the hospital.



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Good Boy

We murdered our dog today.

Or at least that’s how it feels.
We say it’s for the best.
We say he’s suffering.
But, it feels like a pointless death.

He ran into the vets office.
A Good Boy with cancer.
He tripped twice, bumping a wall,
and peed for the last time.

What did he think as he went inside?

Did he trust us to heal him?

Every day is a new day to a dog,
even when they su...

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A Year Ago, Tomorrow

“De Temps En Temps,” by Josephine Baker. That’s what I was listening to. Funny now to think I'd ever forget how it felt, something like that. 


Alone and facing my death in a stranger’s beach house, next to a dark, cold, ocean in the dead of Winter.


I ate Dove chocolates and soaked in a warm bath with bubbles to the brim, and listened to “De Temps en Temps,” while lifting a razor to...

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cancerfree versespringsurvivor

The Violence Now of Miss Anthropocene

The sound of “Violence”

I can feel it



Weight in

My stomach


Standing on

The ledge, again


Don’t move

Don’t slip


The poison running through

My veins, I feel it

Hurting me, helping me


Smells of

Pink plastic wig

Pretty pink perfume 



Make me pretty

Don’t let me

Lose me


Pray to God I don’t

Lose th...

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cancerfree versesurvivor

Lucky Girl

i am a lucky girl.


just recently i read that

on average

people take around 24,000 breaths 


in between words

and laughs 

and running late to their jobs.

today i watched an old

PJ Harvey concert on tv

she was singing and

screaming and


all over the place-

it was great

i bet i took a thousand breaths 

just sitting there watchi...

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cancerfree versehealingsurvivor

Malignant Love

I can feel you,
thick in my throat,
threatening to consume me,
slithering through my mind and body,
wielding your alpha power, 
making me weak. 

I curse you, drown you, 
in sunshine and sweet elixirs,
but you refuse to leave.

I am stronger than you think.

I order you and your invisible army 
of pain, heartbreak, misery,
away from my cosmic energy. 

I did not manifest you.

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Blues For David.

A song I wrote a while ago, I played the guitar when I still could, arthritis in my hands has ended that, My cousins son sang and played the Harmonica and clapped.we never sat down and played it just sent stuff back and forth on the internet until we had something he could mix at his studio. Its about my son who died of a rare bone cancer, Ewings Sarcoma at eighteen years of age.

Blues for Davi...

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Cancer ©

Cancer you came into our lives once before when you took my grandfather to his final resting place,
We only had a short time to spend with him, and it was hard to look him in his face,
My mama used to cry a lot; regrets, fears, and meaningful words, how hard it was for her to comprehend,
All she wanted was a few more years, without the hurt, pain, and overflow of tears,
The family ...

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The Essay

Nineteen nighty five
Nominally fourteen;
I was sitting in the sports hall
pen in hand
the desks apart
a teacher I didn’t know
patrolled the aisles
The English paper said ‘write a story
include a river
and an allegory’

The clock at the front clicks
thin hands jerk and tick
I spin my pen
study the air vents above me
there’s a dusty shuttlecock
caught up in the pipework
there’s a br...

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cancerexamsmemoriesthe first thing I wrote

Vra Vra Vroom


I lost my vra vra vroom

The day you got your diagnosis

Felt joint tomorrows wither

With the growth of what we knew

You – with your mother’s heart

And dragon’s roar

Saving me from lions

Or bullies, or bees...

My sister, my confidante,

My best friend


Entombed within the capsule

Of your hypobaric oxygen chamber

I stand outside and count the miles

Fear ...

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For Jordan

Out driving our first cars at night
snaking the blackness of North East country roads
I'd flick the headlights off
hear the girls scream
then back on and we'd crack up laughing

In our town, there wasn't much to do
but wander looping streets 
haunt the park outside of college
blow house to house, see who was home
or spend it lying in your bedroom laughing

When you and Chris split, he ...

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cancerdeathold friendsurprise

The "C", forever with me.

Once you've been touched by the "C"
You'll no longer ever be free 
It stains me, sticks with me
I just want to be released 
But I'm haunted by this vicious disease
That aims to end lives, make me deceased
We may halt it, but it never truly leaves
It's tangled within me, lingering in my bloody Genes!
You never know what's lurking underneath
Not everything is always as it seems
It steals y...

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bowel cancerCancercancer in your genescancer never leavesdiseaseendless worryfreegenespain

Twice A Day With Food.

It's a tough pill to swallow.
I want to fucking puke.
This feeling in my stomach,
like I swallowed a live nuke.

They just give me pills to swallow
and run a lot of useless tests.
I tried so hard to keep it away,
to fight it off but it infests.

I hate these pills I swallow.
I feel the cancer in my veins.
It's consuming my body
and fucking with my brain.

It's not your pill to swall...

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PillsLymphomaCancergive upbattle

Goth Fall


Goth Fall
What a cool gothic chick I hooked up with online.

We shared the same interests.

A pretty, kind, intelligent, funny woman.

I thought this is it.

I've met my soulmate.

No more loneliness or being misunderstood by the wrong gals.

What a catch.

Something stopped us being together.

She sensed it.

Bad news got in the way of us.

Half a bottle of vodka engulfe...

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cancerromance stoppedgothic

Zodiac - cancer

i'm overly sensitive and also rather shy

i keep my thoughts to myself and hide when i cry

I notice that i'm an emotional wreck 

I moan a lot and i'm a pain in the neck

i wouldn't put up with anyone like me 

yet some how you do what is it you see?

Is it my certain skills like being able to cook?

Or is it because i enjoy other thing's like reading a book 

is it because i'm un...

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Living My Own Death

I can tell you exactly when it happened. I was sat on one of those plasticy leatherette chairs. You know the ones, they have them in all hospitals, they're easy to wipe clean if someone has a little accident. I had my hand clasped about my wife's fingers and though I knew I was squeezing them too hard she didn't complain.

She, the doctor that is, or should I say consultant? Anyway, she leant in...

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            no man should know

            or say


            no child should hear:

            parent, pray

            to be spared.

as he sat with his sons at home

and struggled to find


he knew

            she will never return to us

he knew

            she is too ill


In a time when she was strong

for them

as her body weake...

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Pale faced love

My little pale faced love

Pixie now for you or closer

Hang on in there, it's proof it's working

This is just a sign of the clock ticking 

Ticking away the days to full health

Full recovery no less my lovely, you'll see

The pest shrinking daily for others to catch

Trust in their judgement and hold my hand tight

You'll be free soon my lovely, just you wait and see

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black clouds on a sunny day

black clouds on a sunny day


a bus ride into town

on a sunny day


a black cloud

crawls its way

across the window


this is about me

this is about me

this is about me


this is not about me


she could be

he could be

there is no sign

how would I know


I glance at her

her smile

curves into uncertainty

at the corner

of her mou...

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cliniccancerfalse alarmrelief

My Protector

The day I got that phone call I knew was the beginning of the end, that day was the last day I felt real fear. The fact that you’d be taken from me at any moment. That phone call was in fact my worse fear realized. That day it felt like you were ready to stop protecting me from the world but in that same hour I knew you wouldn’t be there to protect me at all. I flew to you, I ran to you only to se...

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This make-believe story I predicted in my head,

To pieces upon the ground does it fall.

A happiness once experienced -

A security long gone,

And a father I had imagined -

Now a memory in which I had created.


But, the hurt inside is real -

All torn up, how does my heart continue to beat?

A trauma of the past -

Why must I remember what I wish not to?


I created...

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There was a man I knew,

not too close, not too far,

as a child he was there

to tend to my scars.


A man with a past,

of that I had no doubt,

a man, when provoked,

who knew how to shout.


A happy man

with a smile for all,

he'd always be there to

pick me up when I'd fall.


And though never far away,

we were never very close,

a sign of those times


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cancerdadfatherdeathlossloveregretslooking backcelebrationfamilysonpride

Smoke Till Your Hearts Content

For a princely sum of seven quid odd

You can buy a fare to see your god

With tar and chemicals in each fag

Your lungs are choking with each drag


Carbon Monoxide with a nicotine kick

Coughing and spluttering until you're sick

But pushing on with your tobacco intake

Tumours and Emphysema from a daily fix


Four thousand chemicals in each toke


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Offend a Daily Mail reader - today!

Offend a Daily Mail reader – today!


In our miniscule existences upon this planet Earth

There’s precious few occurrences to occasion us true mirth

So listen up real loudly, those with brains and minds to spare

Who still hang on to plucking out true hope from thinnest air

Here’s the solution, if you’re open to such play

Just offend a Daily Mail reader today



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Daily MailJan MoirRichard LittlejohnbrainshilaritycardigansLucy Meadowshellhatredvomitdrinkingtolerancelovecancerholy graileyeballs



I’ve hope that the miracle I’ve asked my pagan Goddess for happens.

That my dear friend and fellow writer,

Charmaine Maeer, makes a full recovery

from the cancer that is murdering her.

Blond beautiful intelligent age 34.

Soon to be dead.

A spear in my heart,

me not knowing why her.

Except my dear friend fights with spirit and total love endures.


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cancerevil diseasesteal my friendnever forgetunconditional love

A.W. of Accrington

Well hello there,

 It has been a long old while since I last posted and lots has happened since my last post. I have a new job and am now officially a commuter which is inspiring a large amount of material as you can imagine. I have also had one or two tragic events happen which leads me to my latest entry.

 At the beginning of this month my Grandfather passed away after losing a long f...

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We Miss You

Dear Jimbo,

On this day you left.

The Earth could no longer handle your grace, for this world can be an ugly place.

We couldn't handle your departure by ourselves. You showed us that we still have each other and that family is more than we were allowing it to be. Some of us will recoil and shrink. We look at them and we think about growth, our own extra terrestrial face as universal being...

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How Not To Receive A Compliment

Why on Earth would you think

I’d find one of the world’s biggest killers


You’ve known me for years, you heartless cow.

We shared the same drab town

sterilised bottles

degenerate parents.

I looked after you when you were sick

Scraping back hair, sponging brow

Forcing vile vials of fizzy liquids down your protesting throat.

I’ve run Marathons, raised...

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humourmisheard wordscancer

I See You

I see you
with sensual sense
like the Na'vi.
Hungry for your love
yet I let your absence starve me.
Living on the spiritual sustenance of memory,
Sliced on loose lips
drunk on truth and Hennesy.


I see you
as I raise a glass to the departed...
to my departure from your life.
How can I tell my lover I'll literally travel oceans to be at her bedside
when I...

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cancerlovefamilyfamily poem

Terminal Velocity





Drenched in heavy morning rain
Like an arctic soaking to the vein;
I just sat there stunned and wordless,
by the results of endless tests.

Only do I seek the scoffer's sympathy;
my litanies dot the bottom of this timpani.
No restaurant on high street offers...
Whoa! I found where my sanity rests:

A very com...

Read more …

cancerfightbattlestrugglerecuperatecome into termswordbank

Take Five Hundred and Sixty Four

Take Five Hundred and Sixty Four

Five hundred and sixty four
million pounds to fund
Identity Cards!
What the hell is that?
Five - Hundred - And - Sixty - Four:
Five hundred and sixty four
million pounds,
more than half a Billion
is Five hundred and sixty four
And how many lives would it count,
half a billion pounds
if a cure for ca...

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ID cardscancerpharmaceuticals

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