As pain and jealousy give way to wonder and gratitude , I realize the beauty of a love that opens ones eyes to life. The time between the yearned for reunion or unfathomable new beginning, fades like the forgotten darkness that comes in the blink of an eye. Whether a rekindling of old love - renewed by perspective - or the birth of new love - when one gathers the strength to carry the hole in thei...

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Am I mad to miss the pain of your loss?

After initially numb, flattened by the utterly incomprehensible gift of spiritual closure, of forgiveness,

I am now bereft.

Was this bloody burden truly such an integral appendage as to leave me stumbling at the absence of its crushing weight?

I seem to have forgotten the me that lay hidden beneath the shroud of loss. It’s cloying, gropi...

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It’s hidden well, but I search deep within the crevices of your mind.
I interpret your words and actions to depict intention and longing, want and need.
They’re masked behind masculinity; hidden within the social construct that disallows you to be free....to feel.
That which praises to the appeal of lust; turns love to dust.
Strong enough to break a woman’s heart, but no strength to trust us.

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29.09.21

You won’t go to therapy 

Your clothes everywhere

It is because your Daddy never cared?

Run away from your problems

Change friends all the time 

Is that why you smoke weed all the time?

Sheets unwashed 

And wine every day 

No wonder you pushed all your friends away 

Video games are a way of life 

Abandoning problems

like it depends on...

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Do you grieve in heaven?
Do you feel hollow too?
Do you feel like something's missing?
Like our incompletion without you.
Goodbyes were not granted to us,
Does this upset you too?
Does grief hit you by surprise?
An oppression you never knew?
Or is Olympus free of mourning?
And you have no suffering heart?
Will we meet in the city of immortals,
Will it feel like we've been apart?
Tell m...

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that year we met, i trusted you.

i believed you liked me for who me and wanted to be friends.

but you didn't. it was all a lie.

you wanted to be friends just to get inside.

i confided in you and listened to all your problems. 

always there to brighten your day.

yet, you would always go back to her.

i was your back up---someone to fill the void.

a void so deep and ...

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When you left, you took a piece of my heart

When you left, my whole world came tumbling down

I became so lost

I was left in the dark

You took with you my light 

When you left, I learned to fight

I learned to navigate this world without you by my side

I learned to be strong to no longer rely on your love

You thought I was weak,

For feeling too much

Now, you're the one ...

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Perhaps from a distance

my love is not strange to you;

this passion may be a punishment

and not even have the fortune to see you again

I look for you in my fingerprints

in indelible memories;

I discover that everything was a mistake

of bitter remembrances and misunderstandings

This long wait is a punishment that chokes me to death;

wishing to have you with me

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Broken feeling all alone

The dark surrounds you and all is still 

Time stops ticking 

Your heart no longer wants to beat, it no longer wants to live 

You hear a voice whisper 

You hear a voice call your name 

You fall on your knees close your eyes and pray 

You feel his strength 

You hear his voice say , "No more!"

God says , "Rise and grow!"

Have COURAGE to let go......

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I feel it itching under my skin
clawing away deep inside
I thought i could be myself around you
now i am just sorry that I ever tried

I find myself bending over backwards for you
trying to leap through these flaming hoops
Still, it isn't a choice that you choose
For that wouldn't ever, benefit you

We're winding down this endless road
neither of us can find any hope.
Still we hold ont...

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The suffering, the pain, it’s over now 

All that is left is a pounding heart trying to heal and move on 

A heart that fought so hard to stay alive 

A heart that held on until the last minute the last goodbye 

Thumping, beating, pulsing 

The pain, the suffering made the heart strong 

So strong that it grew a thick wall 

A wall that cannot be broken 

A wall that no longe...

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First, fumigate

Your cell walls fresh-free

of their love.

Second.

Odious

poison barbed

bitter nothings

must be dumbly plucked from each pink pore,

thrown to landfill,

labelled 'Hazardous biowaste, may cause hideous burns'.

Third, make re-chaste your newly bleach-scoured bone and blotted clean flesh 

with a sore blessing of Domestos and clov...

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