MR BOJANGLES

Like Mr Bo...

my heart jangles

when your smile

misses your eyes.

The face of a clown

soft shoe shuffling

through my soul.

White hands clasped.

The generous frill

framing your mask,

flutters like a wing

across the circus tent

of my broken heart.

Funny shoes walk strong,

confidently skirting around

landmines of feeling

clothe...

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You barely uttered “ I love you”  on your way out,

And I hardly call that a kiss, we only skimmed each other’s lips,

Whenever I upset you, does a piece of me in you break off until there’s nothing left? 

Did your words "I'll always be yours" lose its meaning over a spat? 
 

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BALTIMORE TO SOMEWHERE

You wished upon a star

and got left out in the rain.

You gave it all your heart

and it just got broke again.

Oh… It just got broke again.

You dressed unto the nines,

and I guess he’ll never see.

You painted a whole world, clearly it

is not meant to be.

Not meant to be.

Oh... not meant to be

He let you down again

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If my sins had a smell would you sit near me?
I Wouldn't.
The tangy odour of deceit
A concoction of broken promises
The web of lies

A stench that embeds itself in ones skin
Needs more than a fix of TLC
Sorrow is my PLC
Yet it bothers you none

Through the shadow of my heart you see my smile
You feel my delicate underbelly
I am not a stain
I am more

Convinced of my plight
Stern i...

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Stagnant

Like rainwater sitting out for days,

Attracting flies,

Like moths to a flame.

Serving no meaningful purpose,

So we remain

Unfulfilled—

Nothing’s changed.

Entrapped

In a recurring cycle,

Appearing to be renewed

As more rainwater starts to fall.

But new drops only meet the surface,

Clean merging with the murk below,

Clear streams swallowed by t...

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Can tell
Give me your heart, you lied from the start 
Looked in ya eyes ain what you want 
I can telll James got ya heart 
That’s who you wanted it from the start 
Cut me off, youn wanna talk 
Let me die you could just walk 
Really had the key into my heart 
Why you wanna do me this when I’m soft 
Hurt 
All in my thoughts 
Left me dying, now it’s my fault 
Crying 
Lonely in a empty lo...

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For when I was lost

I gazed into you 

Like the flame of a single candle

You lit up the darkness

Kept the beauty of light alive

But as I gazed too long

Your glow began to melt

And then the light went

Not in you, but me

Your soul within mine

The touch not of a burn 

The glint not of a flame

But the sleek of a mirror 

I can see in this d...

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You’ll never know, how much 

I’m feeling 

You’ll never know, how much

I need you

So come on home again

Please

Come on home again

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Your feelings for me were beyond what you lead on

Did us talking regularly 

Soften your heart unexpectedly?

Unknown to me but very known to you 

It came to the point where “love you” became “I love you” 

Slight change to our goodnights 

Nothing to overthink 

We’re friends right? 

You got “busier”

Our talks lessened 

I still see you partying though 

I’m confused 

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Dear absent friend
Are you still there?
Do you still lurk in the places we used to?
Or have you moved on to pastures new?

Dear absent friend
Do I ever cross your mind?
Even on days with no rain from the skies 
It rains from my eyes

Dear absent friend
I long to hear your voice
For your asks I could not fulfill 
But I miss you still 

Dear absent friend
I hope that you are happy
H...

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Words can be weaponised
Be careful with the words you use
What might be a throw away sentence to you
Forever imprinted, taunting anothers mind 

When you chose these words 
Did you remember the things about me which only you know
The secrets I don't share freely 
But entrusted with you 

People have preconceived notions
Ready to label and validate assumptions
You saw behind the mask
Y...

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To have loved how we loved

 Eyes locked, skin tender

To have loved how we loved 

Hands clasped, lips traced 

To have loved how we loved 

Sea of brown, sea of blue 

To have loved how we loved 

Bodies ignited, spirits calm

To have loved how we loved 

Unsung harmony, fragile peace 

To have loved how we loved 

Hidden darkness, returning comfort...

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I pull the black dagger

From my heart

The weight of my armour

Now a fluid mercury 

Not a poison to me 

A release 

I steep to one knee

Chest free

A pour of soft gold down your slender arm

Sheds the silver mercury away 

Fills the wound that I 

Cast upon myself 

Your fingers brush me

As though they are lillies in my garden of Eden 

Lustful inhale of...

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I can't help but wonder, was it worth it?

Was your transient moment of pleasure worth making me feel like shit?

It seems to be a never-ending cycle of me losing my mind over you,

Your words display such innocence while your actions prove they're not true.

Defending, deflecting, giving every reason instead of the selfish thoughts in your head,

Unintentionally cementing my newfou...

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We are ancient hearts

A beat so strong

We are the petals of love

A touch so gentle 

We are the faintest shadows 

A dance so deft

We are the flicker of candles

A flame so gentle

We are the trace of embers

A light so dim 

We are one

A fate so destined

We are absent

A presence so cold

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A tapestry of lives gone by

Rich threads from what we cry

Frays of the past evoking

Gaze of the future corrupting

My stream carries its fallen leaves

Its purpose only defined by what it receives

Broken mind and beaten guilt

A blackened soul only I have built

Tears like beads down a porcelain doll

She is there to no longer make me whole

As I possessed a poiso...

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In the sun you hear me cry

In the moon you see me stand

I rise to your call

I fall to your mercy 

My hands rest on your knees 

My head bowed in your heart 

Too much for me

Too much for sin

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I pick your face out from the crowd 

And you're all I can see 

As we pretend to be strangers 

I waited the one hour train journey 

Hoping you would join me

But you never did 

We remained separated by a single carriage 

Little did I know you had far more in your arsenal to separate us

A Trident like deterrent 

How did it come to this?

Well actually I do know the answer...

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"idk, but we can try"

what does that mean?

and why do you continue to 

contact me?

W   H   Y   ?

you said you want NO ONE.

then that includes me,

my time,

my love,

my care,

and my company.

If you want to be truly free,

then be free without

any parts of me.

so i did not respond,

but i am tempted.

how would that work?

how would we......

how ...

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Yesterday, was day one.

A day of being alone,

thinking.

Thinking about how my mind 

has yet to understand what happened.

what makes you everything they want,

but not wanted at the same time.

what is it? 

for someone to bring you in on their journey,

then blame the journey for the reason

they   no   longer    need    you   .

they need freedom,

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You hammered nails into our bed’s headboard

The wardrobe’s frail, but you said you could fix that too

And I answered: “do we even have glue?”

You always complain when I try to think forward

But monday’s gonna rain, what if we have to buy more?

Who’s driving to the store?

Isn’t it dangerous to drive in the storm?

Isn’t it best for us to just conform that... some things cannot b...

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You touch me with your cold hands that have touched too many.

Finally making me feel seen and desirable.

As I gaze intently into your eyes, I notice you are not searching to see my soul.

You are simply seeing the face and lips that lie before you.

I hold hunger to be in your world, you only hold hunger to be in my body.

Although when you hold me tight, everything seems to be alrigh...

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I watch you with her,

I’m stupid for caring,

I watch you with her,

Gosh she’s so pretty,

It’s not fair,

Her hair,

Her eyes, her smile,

I’m scared you’re stuck in her trap,

But gosh she’s so pretty,

On the outside and within,

I see why you fell for her,

It would be so easy,

I wish you would fall for me,

I understand though,

Why fall for me when she’s so pre...

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the walls are crashing,
my head is banging,
I hear them in the back laughing,
my pants too big,
my stomach too chunky,
why should I care?
I don't compare to the accepted chicks,
the ones with perfect hips,
straight teeth, clear skin,
I have jagged fingertips,
my cheeks are bare,
my lashes staggered,
all my feelings are shattered,
why would he choose me? 
he would never choose me,
th...

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We sit across from eachother

Our hands clasped tightly over the table

And in this moment we have everything

And yet we have nothing at the same time

Eyes locked on our targets 

I can see your soul 

It's calling me like a beacon 

And I feel awoken 

We lean in closer to this moment 

Feeding off the energy like vultures to flesh 

I could drown in those blue eyes

If I ...

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there’s cobwebs

on your side of the bed.

not the same bed,

across state lines

in a town by the coast

where no one knows our names.

I am afraid to disturb them,

to make a space as unfillable 

as the miles between my window

and the haunting moon.

I am afraid most days,

as memory slides into silk shadows

lurking on the edges of rest

like cobwebs

on your side

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Wednesday was always our day

The only constant across the many variations of “us”

Drinking as friends in the pub

Drinking as “friends” in the pub

Your hand on my knee in the pub

Definitely more than friends in the pub

Kissing in the pub

Sharing our scars in the pub

Falling in love in the pub

Laughing less in the pub

Difficult conversations in the pub

Crying in the ...

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The memory of your love remains like a splinter inside me 

I can get by now most of the time, with it undetected 

But every so often it will still catch on something and snag

The essence of you has gone through me like a thread through the eye of a needle

I continue my life, with you stitched into everything that I do

It gets heavy, carrying around the weight of this loss

I remin...

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We have something

I know this because I keep trying to tell myself it's nothing

To help me walk away

But we always come back like the tide to the shoreline

Coming back to you is like coming home

Coming home in the dark of night when you've left the light on

The rush of warm air that greets you as you step inside

Close the front door behind you

Home

You were my home

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How can one be so consumed by emptiness

Isnt that an oxymoron

The presence of your absence is felt always

We talk in terminal language

Yet it still feels unfinished

A connection was made which cannot be undone

I am forever changed

Your love is not unrequited 

See there are things we still share

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I told you I wouldn’t write you any more poems, 

And in that, I lied 

For don’t you know 

You’ll always be the apple of my eye 

However this poem is different, it’s unlike mine 

I mixed others I’ve read

Hoping you’ll someday see what has been said

May you read the rhymes and know it’s me 

But the mix-up of phrases I wanted you to see 

That despite my best efforts 

The...

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I am trying to move on 

As I’ve realised this time you’re truly gone 

But what am I supposed to do 

When everything reminds me of you? 

Every day, I have been searching 

For you, my lonely heart has been yearning 

With a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat 

I found your account and now I know 

All my suffering has been in vain 

My broken heart and all my pain 

I...

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Words cannot express the pain 

I feel at your hands once again 

My entire heart has been torn apart 

Smashed on the ground into tiny shards 

Like the Christmas ball that bore our names 

Scattered over the floor, all in vain 

And while I hurried to pick up the sharps 

I looked up only to watch you laugh 

In my desperate attempt to fix what’s broken 

For you to tell me I’m...

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The sadness that swells inside my soul

Is taking hold and I cannot control 

The pictures and memories that make me so blue 

I wish it was though I never knew

Why can’t you leave me alone like you’ve done before 

While I chased you all you did was ignore 

Now the tables have turned and you're crying for me 

When all I want from you is to be set free

You’ve done too much now...

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To the depths of despair I shall descend

As this pain I feel sees no end

The pain you have made me feel

Runs so deep it makes me ill

I doubt that I’ll ever heal

From the words and images that you’ve laid

Far too deep in my brain

I cannot sleep I cannot eat

I’m at my ends, my last defeat

Oh how I wished we’d never meet

For then I’d never know about your wrongs

And h...

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I sang a song 

upon that hill

wishing you would hear

but the trees and birds

were all that heard

for you were nowhere near

I raised a note

so full of hurt 

up to the heavens high

and without you,

I laid my pain

upon that midnight sky

I cursed the stars,

forevermore

my words so black with hate

but they cursed back

and left me ...

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i’d lock myself up

so sealed away

in a tower, high up in the sky

away from all else

bleak, sorrowful peace

would give my own tears

time to dry

i could wake up alone

in this castle of hurt

and feel my dreams fade away

but the scene about us

where you stand at my side

is the one i still dream

to this day

i could hear the birds sing 

as...

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Cry me a river

so I know you can feel

the heartache which splits me apart

in hopes you will come 

with a stick of glue

get me a violin 

and sing me a song

for I’d play

until my fingers fell off

just to hear you sing along

or come kiss me goodnight

bless me with your gentle touch

and look at me with those glittering stars 

so I may fall asleep 

an...

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I want to drape the page

with memories, love

with wandering thoughts and

painful regret

I want to wonder

what I could be, and would

if I took my words and

made them come true

or is that unwise?

to wish for a change 

for the dreams to leave my mind

and join the sunlight around me

I want to climb the tallest mountains 

and trees

I would fall i...

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I used to utter your name delicately 

like it was poetry.

Just as how perfume lingers on a person,

The sweet smell of cherry blossoms 

accompanied your name 

whenever it walked out my mouth.

But now all it leaves,

Is a taste so foul.

Your love was like alcohol to me,

It left me feeling euphoric at first,

But after the effect had worn out,

All I was left with w...

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You pulled me into your orbit

when I needed your help

and so, I made you my centre 

to centre myself

That was my first mistake

I looked inside you

for places where I could hide

I hoped to run from reality

into the delusions of your mind

I was happy to believe you were one of a kind

chuffed upon chuffed that you were mine

and I felt adored

grateful to m...

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a dream of mine came true

as I lay next to you

losing my worries in the wind

little did I know

I had naught to show

from the heart I was eager to win

as I carried on

in blinded pursuit

my path lit by your auburn eyes

I lost myself there

in your hands and your hair

waiting for my doubts to die

now left here I am

to think of what was

and ...

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I’ve peeled off my skin for you 

I’ve let you crunch my bones,

Consume beyond my flesh

Beyond my visceral tissues

Beyond my beating heart

Beyond the fibres of my being

Down to my soul

I’ve let you gobble up my spirit

I’ve let you slurp up my mind

Lick the lasting crumbs

of my emotions

Everything in me

Everything making me, me

All that constructs me

All...

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You were supposed to be temporary.

A Mr. Right Now

But you were so persistent when I was so hesitant.

You opened your arms when I shied away.

So believe me when I say, that it hurt to be betrayed. 

You looked me in the eyes when you told your bold face lies. 

I wanted to believe you, I almost believed you, because deep down I didn't want to lose you. 

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to pass you by is to long

for you close, lips sweet despite her

claim’s acrid taste. you wave.

your wandering hand runs up my thigh like

vines cling to ancient stone structures.

we make a sick picture, half-past-drunk

on years of tension, crushed

between mouths and confession in the dark.

you look at me as though

i might not run laps around the room

in hopes of catchi...

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As of today

I'll only be in your memory,

a trunk full of remembrances

you’ll want to throwaway

and remove forever

imagining you’ll forget me

From today on

I'll just be an empty space in your bed

you cannot embrace

and my scent on your pillow

that you will not forget

Starting today

I'll only be

a worn out image in your dreams

that will hush the pa...

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December Birthday Blues

You've created in me this

despair of lonliness..

My voice trembles,

tears fill my eyes,

I don't want u to see me..

I would'nt stand your coldness,

not again!

All the love you used to give me,

no longer there...

These feelings of crying..

can't take it,

I'm not that strong!

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I

i'll be honest,
I refuse to love you. 
my chest sits in knots 
even in this revelation
the would-be butterflies remain trampled
and God knows they fly all around him
im not sure they even had the chance
to cocoon, your slime-gripped words
of small flames devoured their bloom.
No. Yes. No, im not bitter. Im selfish. 
I'm greedy with want, a desire-is-me factory of production
I hold ...

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In the darkest times, there is always a light,

Someone who will hold you, or just sit with you,

when you are feeling doubt.

Maybe it's a person? Or maybe it's a dog? who looks at you with non-judging unconditional love,

and makes you know everything will be alright!

That makes you put  on your armour and continue to fight,

Because warriors might lose battles and even have scars,

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