All the pain and despair
Emptiness, loneliness, and longing
All the heart wrenching moments we've had since we were young
And all the things that try to bend break you
Even if they sometimes succeed
All those awful things that hurt so much
Are merely devices which mold you into who you were always meant to be
Face down the anguish and use it as a tool to sculp...
Monday 31st October 2022 6:40 pm
Through the bitterness of winter
life crawls, so lingering and lonely
and hauling your battered heart into
the shelter of some place holy
Your mind swims with the terrible things
those hands have groped toward
The grit of guilt and shame conspire
to serve as your reward
Such troubled thoughts reverberate
as they echo up into the arches
Gathering their mass and falling back
Wednesday 26th October 2022 3:30 pm
I wish I could hate you,
But I can't.
I wish I could forget you,
But I can't.
If I have a choice between love and death,
I would have chosen death for sure.
But I can't.
Love is so stupid,
That it hurts
Making me so frustrated,
That it hurts
Amplifying the feeling of loneliness,
That it hurts
Can't even express all this in your face
Monday 22nd August 2022 10:43 am
If you find yourself with awful luck.
And that in the deepest hole are firmly stuck.
If you feel from it you'll never rise,
That the world is cruel and harsh in your eyes.
If you feel there'll never be a tomorrow,
And you'll never leave your path of sorrow.
If you feel your life has no point or reason,
And it's loose ends will never find completion.
You must know that life is always ch...
Wednesday 6th July 2022 9:03 am
If we arrive at great misfortune,
Try not to be bitter.
Turn it into something positive,
And do not be a quitter.
And if we should meet a dead end,
Or if we should lose our way,
Know we can get back on track
And that tomorrow's a new day.
And if we don't know where we're going,
And we are filled with huge despair,
We can redraw our map of life,
And find our roads lead everywhere.
Tuesday 9th November 2021 7:02 pm
things used to be simple
lovers dawning undiluted
before he turned up and
left my dreams polluted
I knew she had a history
you sensed it in her eyes
she'd seen many lovers
said a host of goodbyes
hoped she'd seen sense
woken up and matured
that restless streak still
her carnal urges cured
my money she was after
I knew it from the start
Monday 30th August 2021 11:08 am
Thunder roars through the empty halls
Lost, forbidden, in the dreams of the dead
Desolation descends to answer the call
Of petulance, compunction and dread
The horror of the night, haunts the moon
As it shines on the blackness of life
Earth disembowelled by all it consumes
Distorting truth, fouling Gods paradise
Death reigns hard, as love is defiled
His cloak b...
Friday 11th June 2021 10:02 pm
Soaring clouds cloak rising sun, vigorous brightness, morning whiteness
Lightness, creeping upon those weeping sightless, dark blindness lifting in slightness
Rightness becomes a non factor, heart like a melted down reactor spitting smoke
Go for broke, break it all, the inevitable fall comes swiftly, will twist thee into submission
Nature's battle of attrition, cruelty ingrained into life lik...
Monday 12th April 2021 7:56 pm
Climb the steps, one by one
Feel the breeze refresh me
Hands can nearly touch the sun
Golden rays drip down around me
Love and splendour encases my heart
With the world shining out all its glory
A brand new day, a glimmering start
New beginnings, new days, new story
Top of the slide, secure on the mat
Fluttering lungs fill up with excitement
The world whizz...
Monday 8th February 2021 8:44 pm
Then the photos appear
I never see them coming
That need for revelation
Emotionally so numbing
Image of ex-husband
Faces of cheeky kids
This woman has lived
My life hit the skids
Tales come with the pics
Stories of her family life
Domestic ups and downs
How she fared as a wife
All I feel is hot shame
Angry at what I missed
Wife, kids, annive...
Wednesday 14th October 2020 11:03 am
Fires seething, breathing, spewing forth
Molten vulgarities unto this earth,
Feeding on the despair and indifference of
A society that has rid itself of all those things
Which are true and good,
Nothing is intolerable anymore, for the flames
Have consumed all, beggar and borrower alike,
And smothered nature's sight,
For the heart which cannot see shall be mute to
All that could open...
Wednesday 16th September 2020 11:49 pm
Silently I weep
What one sows
Isn't that what they're supposed to reap?
Why do I remain good
Continue to be kind
Try ever so hard to preserve my mind
Karma seems to lack purpose
Or simply ignores the concept of time.
Doesn't my pain matter
My life unrecognizable and tattered
Am I that good at pretendi...
Saturday 5th September 2020 6:21 pm
You need hope to see a future
Without that there's only despair
That's the lesson you taught me
When you told me you didn't care
There was no tomorrow in your eyes
Only dead ashes from yesterday
There was no tomorrow in your eyes
My future's upped and flown away
Our journey's come to to dead end
I'm backed up against a concrete wall
Even now I'm hoping again...
Wednesday 2nd September 2020 10:56 am
Dark and bleak and empty and bare
This life is hard.. I hate it here.
Voided, eroded, saddened... barren of joy
Helpless, hopeless, soulless... a plain white wall
Mopey, lonely, gloomy...why even try
Hungerless, Sleepless, motionless...I might just die
Drowning, not breathing, cant gasp for air
Quiet pain, drenched in rain, not one care
Deserted, isolated, distressed and bored
want to, ...
Saturday 22nd August 2020 1:17 am
Shadows of a face I see
Pain oozing beyond every pore
mocking empty arms
Worthless words that shatter my core
Shadows reflect in the mirror for me
Dust resting in places not seen
Caress faded floors
Memories blurring from what could have been
Shadows saturate the world that I see
Dying embers of defeated hope
Thursday 20th August 2020 8:55 am
my chair continued to turn
even though I had left it
outside the window
new shoots appearing, what was
the point of notes on my desk
he showed me a corner creased photo of his daughter
I could see it in his eyes
the sun caught his crisis
he was going to steal the moon
Saturday 20th June 2020 8:49 am
I used to think it would be an honor
to usher in a thousand years of peace,
a willing martyr to stop senseless suffering,
but I had no idea of the atrocities
that would ensue between men,
or the loss of innocent children
that we would witness with despair
Come now Lord, end the madness,
flood evil with love,
make our planet a peaceful place,
before all hope i...
Saturday 4th January 2020 1:13 am
You ask if I believe in God...
How can I not?
To deny my Father
means I leave my existence
to some 30 year old predator
who impregnated a girl half his age
and left her to raise their child
in the wilderness, among wolves
that feed on loneliness and despair.
Without my Father, I would never know
that after suffering comes deliverance,
pain leads to compassion,
forgiveness breaks b...
Sunday 19th May 2019 7:16 pm
God is watching over us,
When we feel afraid,
Grateful or anxious,
We look to the sky
Hoping for protection,
Or tender mercy.
Hope lies only in the sky.
Fear burrows under our feet.
The lost wanderer is afraid
To look down and advised to look up.
So believers are blessed
With good posture.
Tuesday 14th May 2019 11:03 am
Mortality stalks me
like a jealous lover.
Breathlessly follows me
wherever I go, incessantly
banging a gong,
it won't be long,
come to me, let
the pain end.
My eternal soul sees
this game of mortal gods
and challenges me
to go where mortals
fear to tread...
Meditate in silent space
past the black hole,
to that ...
Tuesday 9th April 2019 5:35 pm
Too much reality
can burn a hole
through your soul.
I prefer to temper it
with rose colored glasses,
as you know.
With my glasses on
I can see past the ego
to the wounds at
I can see that the
past, present, and
future are all
created for one purpose
to tell the story
of how we want to
show up in this world.
I can see beyond
Wednesday 23rd January 2019 3:08 pm
beyond the grave.
helps me understand,
our encounter was
never about us.
It was about our muses
intertwined in the
world of words.
We were denied
the lasting passion
we searched for
so we could write
our soul songs
Sunday 20th January 2019 4:35 pm
There you are beaming
at everyone you meet
keeping it together.
But, I see your soul scars...
It's enough to turn
most souls to dust.
But not us.
Diamonds are made from
coal under pressure.
Show your scars,
keep the faith,
and shine on.
Monday 7th January 2019 1:10 am
It's easier to believe
I am a child of the most high God
than to live a life of despair.
It's easier to believe
everything happens for a reason
than to question fate.
It's easier to believe
love is everywhere
than to give in to hate.
It's easier to believe
than remain a victim.
It's easier to believe
in abundant blessings
than mounting problems.
It's easier ...
Friday 28th December 2018 5:30 pm
Life, a word in silence...
just as the whisper
of an absent wave
unable to grasp the vehement screams of plight;
bitter hope, as the hours,
At this hour, which I did not choose,
tombs bloom under the bloody grass,
knotting my tears
amidst indifferent glances
Tuesday 11th September 2018 7:20 pm
In the Halls of Knowledge
The Great Men shared their wisdom
With emperors, kings, monarchs, and generals.
Great women shared their insights and guidance, too,
But their words are stored in different wings of the Great Hall.
It was the Great Men who laid the foundations
For civilisation, for democracy, for tyranny,
Architectural planning, sewage, and war.
It was the Great Me...
Monday 23rd July 2018 4:48 pm
When I wonder what's wrong
When I think whats going on
A Voice said 'this is what you did
Not much love exists to feed.
Tides will not change the future
Might just believe it, forever
Believed that the eyes I see
Truth in them will set me free.
Taking a huge dose of the drug
Never know what's beneath the rug
Chemical changes inside me
They will not let me be.
Let me be the free bird fl...
Sunday 15th July 2018 6:18 pm
The Imperfect Gardener
Someone once said, long ago or last week,
that it's futile on a finite and populous planet
to seek a truth, or a finely polished apple,
in the still-life-on-canvas we daily behold,
and by such uncouth behaviour
we are mostly confounded, and fail to grapple.
So we're prisoners here, in uncounted millions,
unable to leap high or fast enough to...
Sunday 5th November 2017 1:25 am
Yesterday, the sun shone black upon my soul
Depth's depth deep beneath my heart.
Lumined ne'er by hope
Thoughts sank weighted low
Today, dawn'd, in heaven's mantle rais'd,
Glims golden future in my mind.
Light lightened all by future faith
Heart, mind and soul exalting up
Her voice love levered up, returned it from the depths
Dark voids where happiness was stra...
Monday 24th April 2017 4:54 pm
In the air, the pallor rises showing faces of wrath,
breathing shame in light of a complex coalition of schemes;
a sudden fury appears discreetly under the crying
and the world indifferent...
Amazed glances are exchanged;
the impertinent silence is not tolerated ...
while the inventory of gifts continues
buying those in olive green uniforms, governments and judges...
Tuesday 18th April 2017 12:36 pm
Bag Of Bones
Please let me introduce myself -
my name is Billy Jones.
You might know me better
as that useless bag of bones
that gets under your feet
when you’re staring at your phones,
planning all your creature comforts
on extortionate pay day loans.
Well I was once like you my friend,
I haven’t always been alone
huddled up in corners
where the autumn lea...
Friday 17th March 2017 12:58 am
Very surely I’ve been remiss
To imagine you, darling, like this!
Oh, the melded hours have cruelly conspired
To strand me in ecstasies of longing—which I so desired!—
To abandon me to oceans of thoughts of your kiss—
It’s a breathless caress, plunged in the shuddering abyss;
Oh, darling, what bitter elation—what horrible bliss!
I’ve made lists which contain nothing but your name!
And of ...
Tuesday 22nd November 2016 4:08 am
Unrequited love is the destruction of the heart
It is walking across an endless desert occupied with faded mirages that show you beauty like never before
Constantly consumed by its wonder, constantly consumed by the despair for your love for it
She is the mirage, you are the lonley aching fool in an endless desert
You are the one slowly suffocating by the boundless intesity of what you...
Tuesday 27th September 2016 5:03 pm
This Is England
the empty cardboard
coffee cup groans with hunger
eyes to eyes to anything
that isn’t eyes
clothes that itch with dirt
the taste of yesterdays soup
settles against teeth
sleep is the enemy
dulling your hopes of escape
if the spiteful arrive
with mean intentions
and brown leather boots
head bowed against the world
not looking ...
Monday 18th April 2016 8:26 pm
You stand before an empty horizon,
The silhouette of the trees running sharply across the bottom of the sky,
Eyes fixed on those soulless, black shapes in the distance.
Your gaze wonders up – slowly. The sky transforms before you
From the light into the dark.
The moon hangs – trapped in the dawn of engulfment,
The ground beneath you is dim – stretching to meet the light.
Monday 18th April 2016 7:38 pm
(If Mother Earth could speak...)
I’m the first light of dawn setting fire to the skies,
the awe that ends with a soft, sated sigh.
I’m the slow, gentle sway of ancient, lofty trees,
branches of life filled with wonders to be.
I am sands and seas; a warm summer breeze
blowing soft, whispered tunes over ever-changing dunes.
I am stars in the heavens sailing high overhe...
Monday 20th July 2015 3:58 pm
I slide down a rope
into the empty chasm
which is your cold heart.
I light a fire
in the depths of your despair.
You hate me anyway.
An ocean is born;
it swallows me whole.
Darkness engulfs me.
Surrounded by other misguided souls.
I feel their cages;
I discover mine.
NOTE: I wrote this at age 15. I have edited it sinc...
Monday 4th May 2015 6:23 pm
I sat beside you on that fateful day,
As they sutured your wrists in A&E,
Their failure to keep you safe,
Was no failure of ours or me,
For try as we may to get you help,
Their ears were as deaf as their eyes,
Now we sit..... in our tortured state,
In the hollow your passing creates,
You will always be with us inside our hearts,
For as long as our minds wi...
Sunday 26th April 2015 5:31 pm
Tally one for days past,
At present still remembered.
Nil for today, at last,
For your presence it still lingers.
My dreams are full of you,
And In my waking hour, you echo,
There is naught for me to do,
Save hope you let me let go.
I stay awake at night,
Because when sleep comes it seems,
I must concede my plight.
You are the girl of my dream...
Tuesday 16th December 2014 5:47 am
The sun is always there
you used to say
there behind the clouds
waiting to break through.
I hung on those words.
And now I wish you were here
so that I could show you
how outside the rain’s been falling
for longer than I remember
day after day after day
and the skies are grey and heavy
the streets run with water
the fine clothes we were so proud of
Monday 1st December 2014 8:45 pm
Or watched her go about her day,
In a pleasant kind of way,
And realize that you are happy too,
Just because she laughs with you.
And know that if she were to ask,
You would accept her any task,
And do it with unblinking speed,
If only it was you she’d need.
Have you ever known such despair?
To always have an angel there,
Who gives meaning to each passing d...
Monday 15th September 2014 8:07 am
It is dark out there,
Where did the light go?
I can't see a thing,
But can feel the snow.
And the temperature is dropping,
And my sister stopped moving,
And mother is slow.
Father has gone,
To where, I don't know.
And it is dark out there,
And still the wind blows.
Wednesday 30th July 2014 4:31 am
The scalded soldiers
Slid over the top
Of the parched peak; waved,
Awaited the pop
Of reflexed wretchings -
The wretched allure;
Sweet shelling shrapnel
So bitter and pure.
Then dinning quiet but
Cliched tweeting; the
Of gorge filled eating.
The troops fall silent
'Til cries ring out and
Once more the trenches
Filled with d...
Monday 21st July 2014 12:22 pm
They say that some people can attain justice, but...
how can there be equity if justice is not blind, it has open eyes and points its finger?
Judges, who under reckless shadows, charge their egregious verdicts with dissonance,
without a clear alphabet , without free will, as so ordered by the commander of staggered dawns
False testimony multiply in front of their hands, to in...
Monday 24th February 2014 11:23 pm
Jaded lasting tedium
beset with gloomy cape
More I try ridding off
seems stuck at nape
Tattered and misshapen
the vilely kind of garb
Root cause for despair
inviting many a barb
as cover up sort drape
From all harsh realities
when I sought escape
Ever since it stayed on
not even once removed
Tuesday 4th February 2014 2:43 am
did I ever say I was “good people”?
some days I miss the hasty shouting
the crack of fist on salted cheekbones
better that than the nauseous choice
of considered upholstery or designer phones
never weather appropriate, rather, accident
ripped and bleeding, waiting for some other
and days my head will fill with men of war
always in shock yet mostly in awe
Sunday 22nd December 2013 5:02 pm
I loved you once as deeply as any man could Will
and, if the darkest truth were known,
in my heart I love you truly still
Though the distance that lies between us
may seem so very far apart
space and time will not unbind
the aching, raging heart
So farewell my love and lover once
and, as lovers ever true,
we will live and laugh and love again
like lovers that are new
Monday 6th February 2012 11:19 pm
Somewhere, the 9 till 5 office worker stops me with a deadpan stare,
Fixes me with the times of timetables passed, the graph paper squares
Of tomorrow’s schedule. The high-rise offices never bother to look down.
I never liked the city.
Never really cared
for the city’s callousness, its daily suicide,
the shadow at the top of each building that watches with certainty.
Tuesday 31st January 2012 9:14 am
Pretend I'm not here!
Do not look at me with disgust.
is not the reason I am here.
Some a job's loss to be in
This is a more cameo style poem.
Wednesday 7th December 2011 4:59 pm
Be numb to me
get off your knee
cease from demeaning
my esteem for you
with your lucid hate
the hourglass leaks
coloured sand pours
rainbow streaked tears
where the rains bleached
this sunburnt heart
with the acid of your disdain
these wearied hands
no longer reach for yours
your reflection is marred
and the mirror put awa...
Tuesday 28th December 2010 2:55 pm