Coping
I do things
It helps;
Climb,
Run
Swim
Gym
Things.
Evading life or embracing it?
I don’t know
does it matter if it works?
I won’t stop doing things.
It somehow makes me better outside.
And in.
Maybe...
It works and it’s enough.
Nothing else has a lasting effect.
So I do this.
To cope.
Friday 26th July 2024 12:10 am
It was from the Heart
The Voice came tentatively to the stage
considered, loved.
It was needed but fragile.
The lights were bright.
A murmur from the audience
And at centerstage was the Voice.
Time ticked by slowly.
Tick, Tick
The murmur somewhat louder now
Tick Tick
anger palpable.
Many groups once divided, now together with burning Indignation
glaring at that stage.
...
Monday 23rd October 2023 1:48 am
Buses are more phucked than Trains
By Bill 53 1/2
The announcement we all dread..
Filters though the Station air
‘Buses are replacing Trains’
my smile turns to a glare.
I know how this unfolds…
as I drag me to the bay
Where the throbbing omnibus coyly waits
to make miserable my way.
The PTV bus is an unholy child
Born of misery and desperation
It’s ruins you day and makes you late
...
Thursday 19th October 2023 12:48 am
Bikes on Trains are phucked too
By Bill 53 1/2.
You see them standing near you.
On the platform packed with life.
Their fucking vacant smiles
shows no care for the strife.
That their crappy worn out bike,
Will cause all when jammed onto the train.
As it blocks the doors and takes precious space,
And adds tenfold to commuter pain.
Travellers shuffle by,
With many a stumble and fall.
...Saturday 14th October 2023 9:16 pm
Trains are phucked
By Bill 53 1/2.
Spoo on the seats
Snot n dribble too.
Is what I always think about
when on the way to you.
The loud music is playing
From the selfish prick nearby.
How I want to ream his arse,
with a hot, king size 4n20 pie.
The temperature is hot or cold
Nothing ever in between.
White collar and high viz alike.
Enduring the temps - extreme.
...
Friday 13th October 2023 4:51 am
pdf girl
My partner is a pdf
so friendly and convenient
everyone likes to have her around
In fact she’s a vital ingredient!
Better than word or google docs
Compact or in full
in any group work she rocks it out
customisable and very cool.
There is but one flaw,
which keeps me on my toes
is her tendency to attach to anyone
and
anything
That someone did com...
Monday 9th October 2023 6:04 am
The Place
Nothing touches me,
that connection I ache for
never more than fleeting
never close.
Always something there – stopping it.
It's them?
It’s me?
It’s something..
Dark, insecure, stubborn.
Oh, so infinitely stubborn.
And I’m stuck here
Always.
Sunday 22nd May 2022 4:37 am
The Office
Pleasantries
nodding
feigning interest
eye contact.
What are they thinking?
Look away.
The conversation - such that it is, slows…
eye contact again
a general inquiry as to some bullshit that I also do not care about.
Off it goes again
I’m not listening again
thinking about other things,
anything.
Why don’t I care enough to listen?
Because they are the sa...
Saturday 30th April 2022 5:40 am
Rosewater
Subtle and beguiling
transporting me to places.
Sensual
the journey is instant.
Profound
addictive
always.
Sunday 17th April 2022 11:05 pm
A Seed Falls
A seed falls.
It lands, barely audible
it falls from a tree, a 50 year old tree
50 summers
50 winters
50 times around the sun.
Rain and Wind.
Its roots working their way through the soil
spreading
growing
anchoring
for 50 years.
To create a seed to fall one day
to be heard.
That moment.
Unique
And I was there.
Thursday 31st March 2022 12:25 pm
My place
The place I go to
it’s always there
as real as it can be
its real to me.
Somewhere near but a map will never show
It’s a house
a pond beside
and trees large and green
a winding path
a shady porch.
Not in a town but nearby
its quite most of the day.
I'll find it I know
and when I do
it will be my time.
Tuesday 15th March 2022 9:59 am
White Feathers
I woke and there was a beautiful pigeon next to me.
On the bed.
6 feet tall with white feathers
Asleep.
I looked and saw good things,
then fading away but yet remaining
resetting what I see.
As Beauty.
Tuesday 15th March 2022 9:51 am
I did'nt know
Empathy and care
A trap.
that burns.. a never ending struggle
No result - No change - No difference
Except to me
that’s the difference
can’t be ignored
can’t be left
Mental illness more resilient than all the love in the world.
I didn’t know that
Tuesday 15th March 2022 9:40 am
Things I can't do
Forgotten how to smile
forgotten how to react
how to engage
Its insidious
Its life...
Why is it life?
It’s not life
Its how I choose to live
self-preservation
stupid
Learn to smile again
I smiled in Spain
even when I was in so much pain
It needn’t be so far removed from day to day life
Remember that.
Tuesday 15th March 2022 9:20 am
More Real
If I feel it,
it's real.
If I taste it,
it's real.
If I love it,
it's real.
When I lose it - it's more real.
Thursday 24th February 2022 10:07 am
Waking
Wake and feel,
wake and breathe..
Foggy thoughts..
Where? What? Is it?
Arrrrrrh….
Don’t endure this – it’s a waste. Live - try to live.
Possible,
move a little
move a little more.
Now.
And Again.
Thursday 24th February 2022 9:52 am
The Mists of Being
Walking to the station lost in thoughts.
A useless collection of ideas and emotions swirl around me,
and I gradually tune out even those.
Leaving a vague existence between aware and asleep.
Time and life drift by and it’s a comfortable place.
Easy
Lazy
Safe
Too Easy.
Arriving at a destination without knowing anything of the time in-between.
That time. Gone.
W...
Tuesday 22nd February 2022 8:06 am
Spanish Stillness
Walking
The world around me is how it used to be:
Fresh, alive, peaceful, welcoming.
Alone but not alone,
I’m part of this world again,
not fighting it
not worrying.
Not competing and being judged.
A modest meal awaits,
with good wine,
a shower
A bed.
Tuesday 22nd February 2022 7:44 am
Conversations
I’m renting,
No, I rent
Yes, I’m actually renting..
No, no, no, not looking to buy.
I don’t have rich parents
Yes, I should buy..
And how about you?
Fuck off.
Tuesday 22nd February 2022 7:30 am
La Faba - 2017
After the Meseta,
after the heat,
after the stones.
The green hills
the shady paths
the views.
The way is rocky and steep.
Don’t stumble,
keep your balance and
Breathe.
Peace around you.
And then there it is – La Faba.
I have arrived
And part of me will never leave.
Tuesday 22nd February 2022 7:26 am
Somewhere in Spain
The walking
The peace
And You.
Just you, in a foreign land.
Remembering what its like to be you.
No agendas No pressure
No deadlines.
Time only matters when you are leaving in the morning and when you need to sleep.
The walking
Seeing things and feeling again.
Around you no-one is rich or poor,
everyone has a story and a reason to be there
to be shared and reco...
Sunday 20th February 2022 10:37 am
The Market
News
TV, radio, online:
House prices
House prices
House prices
House prices
House prices
House prices
But..
Unsustainable, Downturn, The bubble, will burst!
Never remotely happens,
avoid these stories
Scroll past, scroll, scroll
Faster!
Turn it off,
Ignore, but there it is again.
House prices
House prices.
And the uncomfortable feeling remains
...Sunday 20th February 2022 10:28 am
Messages Lost
Messages Lost
1
As the world slides by on old steel rails.
And your seat reminds you it’s too hard.
And thoughts wander, breathing slows.
Everything is fine.
But it’s broken.
A deafened sound.
Emotions and frustrations.
Bursting, breaking, bolting in all directions.
Unprovoked.
Unexpected.
Nearby.
Unwelcome.
Words mashed as one.
Protesting innocence and injust...
Tuesday 8th February 2022 9:53 am
Camino Days
I walked and thought. I walked and thought some more.
Feeling alive in a foreign land. The sound of my feet.
My breathing, faster on hills.
The comfort of my pack hugging me.
Water for the day.
My body adapting to the daily routine.
Every day my pack a little lighter, my walking more relaxed and fluid. Calmness and contentment grow.
As it...
Tuesday 8th February 2022 9:38 am
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