It’s takes a combination:

Mild depression, dull work, an inner restlessness and loneliness

Always playing on your mind,

Impossible to escape.

 

Searching always

to feel anything but what you feel now.

 

Looking for acceptance and a moment of escape.. 

Treating the symptoms and not the cause.

 

It’s not about sex.

But it is about sex.

 

Being held, tightly,...

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I'm dreaming of a Wet Christmas

Just like the one we had last year

Where the tree tops drip

And children slip

To see grazed knees upon the ground

 

I'm seeing a wet Christmas

With every sunlit morning rise

Where the wind is howling

And shoppers are scowling

To find that next Black Friday deal

 

I'm feeling lots of eyesight appointments

With all the screen tim...

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RAIN ART

Colourful art lays on the roof on this building

Leaving questions to ask with no one fielding

Anonymous they lay, doused in rain

More vivid are they as the rain runs down the drain

 

"Who made these pieces?", nobody asks

Just waiting benign for their next task

Given up and left to the elements

Like a memory lost to an Elephant

 

In the sun they run and rus...

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Colourful art lays on the roof on this building

Leaving questions to ask with no one fielding

Anonymous they lay, doused in rain

More vivid are they as the rain runs down the drain

 

"Who made these pieces?", nobody asks

Just waiting benign for thier next task

Given up and left to the elements

Like a memory lost to an Elephant

 

In the sun they run and rust

Soon be...

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The remnants of a myth
torn like sodden paper
A worker in the world of words
now where are your opus lines
where does your gilded poetry reside
A hooded figure
cloaked by Pessall Brook
looking for lighthouses
searching for the sea

O, how did you go
this far wrong?

Show me your pages
blackened with rhymes
your songs of tides
and ships to far away islands
Thunder clapping above
r...

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In the silence that resonates,
a lament of absences,
the flowers bloom in the shadows,
whispers of a life that fades away.

Eyes searching the horizon
for a trace of hope,
but pain, like a poem,
is sculpted in the words of the day.

The city is a labyrinth of steps
that reflects solitude at every corner -
laughter dissolves in the wind
like falling petals,
disguised in the chaos.

...

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Delusion. 

When delusion wears of

and finally 

you see

what u didn’t want to

for so long 

that this person

isn’t the person 

saving you 

loving you 

the only person 

able to do that 

is you 

babe.

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Location unknown

No flesh or meat on the bone

Bereft of all comforting thought

This isn't what I was taught

 

I once knew a place

Where I knew every face

Now cold and dark

No warmth and no spark

 

I travel around in the void

Wondering round like a lost boy

And although I am able

Fully trained yet maimed and unstable

 

A ghostly belonging

Of betrayal ...

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My father asks me if i am lonely 

I cannot bring myself to tell him 

that I always have been. 

I find the wickeness to let him know

that I feel the most lonely when he speaks to me.

 

I do not think lonely describes what it is like to be 

without you in my life.

Father, I am lost. 

Father, I have become too familiar with this ache.

Father, I know that what I had with ...

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spend too many hours gazing out the window thinking about what was what wasn't what was what wasn't what may be what could be again, say please take me away from here but also how could I ever leave, get lost in a video game, have someone see you, it's not who you want it to be, ponder the parallels of our experiences, laugh like a squeaky wheel, have someone see you, figure it out, have it be who...

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I listen to these words
as I fall through the water
accumulating down below
I listen as you sing
your sad sad song
like falling up a waterfall
of emotion
falling in reverse
but always looping
 

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In the darkest times, there is always a light,

Someone who will hold you, or just sit with you,

when you are feeling doubt.

Maybe it's a person? Or maybe it's a dog? who looks at you with non-judging unconditional love,

and makes you know everything will be alright!

That makes you put  on your armour and continue to fight,

Because warriors might lose battles and even have scars,

...

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In the midst of changing the world, I lost my soul while creating my life. Now when I look back to the time when I was still a kid so full of innocence, kindness, and full of happiness. Now life is like a rat race where all we can think about is just getting more and more involved in work to earn more for a better lifestyle. But have you ever thought of the time when you were a kid and when th...

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I live in a land On a bank Looking over an ocean I live in a land Where my future Is always bright But never clear On that bank I sit there thinking Wondering why The sun never quite sets Looiking at that ocean I see nothing Nothing but space I live in a land Where space is close Enough to reach From my bank All it takes Is one short walk ...

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Walking to the station lost in thoughts.

A useless collection of ideas and emotions swirl around me,

and I gradually tune out even those.

Leaving a vague existence between aware and asleep.

Time and life drift by and it’s a comfortable place.

Easy

Lazy

Safe

Too Easy.

 

Arriving at a destination without knowing anything of the time in-between.

That time.  Gone.

W...

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JIGSAW

 

Brunette. Blonde

Black. Grey

I am auburn.

 

Hazel. Green

Brown. Blue

I am Grey.

 

Tabs, blanks

Pockets, sockets

Corners, middles

I am unique.

 

Flat pieces; four points

Innies and lock

The back

always Grey

 

Without me, you are not complete

With me, we are replete

 

A needle in the haystack

melancholic morning

Smea...

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Disappointed myself as usual 

Appointments I can't seem to attend.

Achievements I failed to achieve on my own

Important concepts were out of my reach.

Practise what you preach, I will do that but some other time.

Hypocrisy is a philosophy I need to look into,

Lately, it doesn't feel authentic.

Latent learning seems to be idealistic.

Pointing fingers while three of them poin...

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Reality is questionable,

Probabilities of success are like a needle in a sack of nails,

It takes a breath to fail, but why is progress difficult?

Definitions and laws dictate this realm.

Flaws we never talked about yet we keep faking it,

“Ask you shall be answered”, ironically it has been silent.

Talk about how to fix this, fix that, how about break that and wreck this?.

Fail ...

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Walking aimlessly

Towards some places unknown

'Til I'm home at last

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What is it that attracts us to other human being so much we can’t breathe?

What is that gate to heaven and hell?

What is it that attracts me to you?

Smile.

Pain.

Mutual confusion.

Eyes in the dark, like reindeers in headlights. About to live?

What was life? What was all that fear and anger? Sweat, trembling, catching breath so hopelessly.

So hopelessly lost in you. Forever.

...

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there's a point on the map when

doubts and desapir veer to meet

and idly parade nowhere down a

lonely slum of a one-way street

 

no compass charts this latitude

where time gross reality bends

for its a quarter of lifeless loss

the geography where love ends

 

I've drifted here so many times

its memories my endless bane

before me for I sense a reprise

I am sure...

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It took me so many years to find myself, and I got lost along the way,
And now I don't know where I am or where I'm going,
But at least I know it doesn't matter.
   
So yes I'm wandering round this pointless universe,
But I'll just be myself,
Wherever, Whatever.
 
And if I'm changing every moment into something else
Who even cares what I am today?
 
It took me all these years to find my...

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A series of self reflection 

unhealthy questions

our rose colored phase with twisted lessons and a mutual obsession our souls connected as I throw a cruel test in 

how much of me can you take or is this fate I’m lost in a paradise I refuse to break

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I’ve written you 1000 letters

I’ve waited for you 365 days 

I’ve prayed to God a million prayers

But I realized now  it is all insane 

I realize now it was all in vain

I get scared to think of no longer loving you 

I get so scared that I pray for another way 

I pray that God makes me see that everything’s ok 

Love isn’t forever 

Love doesn’t always stay

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Lost boy, find your way home
Reach out your arms
You’re no longer alone
Lost boy, please don’t be scared
There’s a safe place waiting 
You just need to get there

People may judge you
And that is OK
If they have a problem
We can keep them at bay
Thoughts and feelings are normal
Its everyday life
The future is yours
So keep that in sight

Lost boy, why are you afraid
It’s not your ...

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I’ve got callouses
I’m covered in scars
I’m broken inside
So loving me is hard

You kissed my fingers
My heart pounded so hard
You bathed me in love
And now i can’t get up my guard

It just seems so easy for you
Even after all we’ve been through
You told me you didn’t want to lose me
So how are you being so cold
You washed away the armour that i hold
I wish that this hurt you like i...

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I can't take it,

I'm only asking,

Please Lord help me,

I'm tired of relapsing,

Over and over,

My veins are collapsing,

I know you hear me,

I'm sorry for babbling,

I don't understand,

Why this keeps happening,

I'm covering the pain,

It's so everlasting,

The hurt burns deep,

It never stops dragging,

Life is a slow death,

It's truly a sad thing,

My hand...

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Honey Boy was a wonderful cat.  
Honey- orange in color, 
he loved to stay home 
and play with the children, 
frolic with our beagle 
or purr on our laps.

Sometimes he stayed out late 
for nighttime romances, 
but he always came home 
eager for food and a cozy bed.  

Over the years he mellowed 
with a touch of grey here and there. 
He left on a summer night 
and never returned for...

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Dont worry my brothers,

Save a spot for me cus I'll see you soon.

These thoughts and memories,

The dreams that consume.

Me...

Had me thinking on life, feel choked till I can't breathe.

Losing my people, blinded me to the better things in life I couldn't see.

Losing these people brought tremendous amounts of pain.

Moving on in life, till my heart froze and changed.

 

...

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He's the king of No-Man's-Land,

a kingdom noone cares about.

He reigns so sovereign his town,

no man 's never gonna vote him out.

 

His people here are all left-overs

or left-alones or left-behinds.

The most grey-haired, of random beauty,

all bored to death and all resigned.

 

Some of them must've had a dream once -

but that has been long years ago -

must've got...

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The apple blossom that was

the scent of your hair,

the tint that lit up

every mournful evening sky

could only emanate from

your softly glistening skin.

 

I had hoped one day to wrap

you up and hold you tight

so, no harm should ever befall you.

 

My flower amongst the grasses.

My bloom amongst the stems.

 

I wanted to sigh and

watch your soft seed

fly...

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So do you still remember me across the tumbled years

Far off thoughts from far away places

Memories fading the pictures of our love

Do you ever think of me the way I do you

Of knowing stares and smiles and eyes that glitter

With no need for words as the loving thoughts just flitter

Warmth from head to heart, from heart to soul, into the bone

Do our thoughts bounce and join acr...

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Coming home in a town that I don't know,
wandering through the streets near my house.
Stumble on the concrete torn by the flowers growing up,
forshadowed by the street lights.
Wasting away my days,
thinking about these things,
and I'm lost.

You're gone, and I can't find,
the right words to say,
please stay.
Sit on the balcony, thinking so endlessly,
about the sun rise.
Every new day ...

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Is it a Curse .. or God's Grace 
To live alone heart and place 
Suffering what I always face 
Hopeless to be myself again 
 

Are these changes good for me 
To be lonely always or not to be 
To live away of what I see 
I lost my hope and brain 
 

Sadly to wake up and sleep 
Painful to feel yourself cheap 
Living alone hurts in deep 
I wish to know why, but i...

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They watch as her young heart fades into the darkness 

her wild youth disappears in front of there eyes 

moments of fear and hate runs through her like a dark black fog 

will she ever be the same? Will her heart ever heal? 

Take me back to the hot summer days when all I had was my innocence 

gone.  Just like that. Forever. 

 

JC 

 

 

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You found your 

soul mate?

I’m genuinely 

happy for you!

Mermaids 

and unicorns 

are more common 

than soulmates. 

Please, do the lost 

and lonely among us 

a favor of great 

significance, 

Make her 

your muse

so we can 

feel love too.

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and then again I sailed in sorrow
a thousand times i'll do it again
in hopes that i'll find you tomorrow
in hopes that i'll see you again.

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A lost soul 

not so bright 

never done wrong

but not always right

 

Lost in the woods

in her dazzling mood

going against the world

she thought she could

 

I heard she was sad 

maybe she lost her dad

in early age 

she got trapped in a cage

 

Society used to tell her 

what she had to be 

but she never believed 

and went after her dreams

 

I...

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You think that time would make it easier and maybe I'd just forget.
I still think about that day often but I'm starting to think about it less.

I don't know if I should feel guilty because you're not always on my mind.
Or maybe that's just what happens when you've been gone such a long time.

I do wonder if you'd be proud of me and the things that I've done.
Would you tell me that you're h...

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Rip off the band-aid, get it over with
I never thought it would come to this
Clear mind, clear eyes
Walking straight, no more lies

Don't rely on me and I won't let you down
You can't count on me, I'll only let you down
Don't reach out for me, I'll only let you drown

These feelings are getting harder to fight myself
Pulling teeth to admit I need some help
It's cutting deep on the webbi...

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Tell me baby who's on your mind?
Who do you see when your lips are on mine?

Is it the guy you kissed?
Or your friend you miss?
Or somebody that I completely dismissed?
Anyway, I guess I deserve all of this.
I put you through hell when I promised you bliss.

I know i'm getting fat,
And my habits are pretty bad,
I need to trim my nails,
And I'm just always fucking sad.

What a drag.

...

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It's been broken so many times

I began to lose pieces that I thought were all mine

I'm in so deep and the void is so empty

So lost for words, but I don't want sympathy

 

Holding this heart with my bare hands

Please just take it...I don't understand

Time brought these wounds, yet they're not healed

Permanent scars have left them sealed

 

I'm scared of being alone and s...

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Quietly sneaky
you came
Thunderstorms
in my heart
Yet you left
me alone
unset and alone
You were the moon
Now i ask delicate
why when i hear your
name i can't forget
the words on you mouth
those blue eyes staring
inro mine unashamed
I found new hope
untouched 
buti can't shake you away
when i hear you name
and your sparky attitude

but i will keep on 
romoving your spell
on m...

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I’m losing my mind.

Don’t you understand?

I’m desperately reaching out for your hand.

Don’t leave me hanging, slipping, falling…

down into the endless abyss of darkness,

Never destined to land.

 

You’ve saved me once before,

But this time there are no safety ropes.

I’m free-falling, plummeting, going down…

My only hope Is for you to save me now.

 

I’m losing my ...

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I lost you today

I understand you, but then again I do not. 
You led me back to a time last year
which I no longer remembered.
I made a mistake, which cannot be forgiven.
You hold these moments in your thoughts
thrashing around like a rollercoaster
until it derails and crashes head long into its target.

I know I am hesitant and full of doubt
but I had you fully in my heart.
If you we...

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If you're not careful you can get lost in the woods of your mind.
My piece of advice would be to bring with you a guide.

Someone to hold your hand and walk you through.
So that if something is lurking you have someone to hold onto.

Make sure the person you bring is trustworthy.
That they'll stick around when it starts to get scary.

Things go bump in the night and more-so in these woods...

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happy
that's what i use to be
pain
that's what changed in me
lost
that's what i came to be 
you 
that's who believed in me
you 
was all i could see
you 
you suddenly took all of me
you 
had problems of your own, some i'd not yet seen
you 
became broken down and lost while looking for me
you 
promised to never hurt me
you 
promised you'd never desert me
you 
tried to be
everyt...

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Sometimes it's hard to see the light whenever you're surrounded by darkness

Have you ever felt the type of pain from looking in the mirror and not being able to recognize yourself?

Looking into your own eyes and at your own face and you say "Who is this?"

I've lost myself, yes, I'm afraid I do need some help...

But help from where? I've already been here, and I've been there...

Now,...

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This is a poem written for the guy ,from his perspective, all of my other poems are about when he and I were still together. 

 

Broke Boy. 

I lost my wallet yesterday. 

Went back to the south side. 

It wasn’t there. 

Some dickhead must of stole it. 

Oh well. 

It really doesn’t matter. 

I’m a broke boy anyway. 

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Inhale
Exhale
Your very first
My most important

Your hand
My thumb
You held it so tight
I couldn't hold my tears

8pm
2am
Every night
To make sure you're fed

My side
Her side
You in the middle
Across from your neglected crib

Left foot
Right foot
Your first steps
Corners were quickly covered

Fast forward
Slow down
You're getting so big
I always did my very best

Sh...

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