emotion (Remove filter)
This is not a draft
I don’t want to mask my poetry
I want you to understand me
Curse your perfect rhythms, rhymes, haikus
Your lyricism, your literary
When I try to adopt it, I turn mute.
Something channels through me
(I’ve never really found the root)
A demanding stream of consciousness
That cannot stop to breathe, let alone
Wait, conceptualise, draft, redraft
I can’t!
...
Monday 7th October 2024 10:25 pm
String Quartets
Perhaps the closest we get to music:
Uncluttered, pure, free from excess.
Their simplicity can be deceptive;
In reality, nothing is simple.
Everything, however, is deceptive.
Maybe that’s the way it is meant to be;
We must be deceived by their deception,
Woven by passion, not by intention.
These pieces are not innocent, of course;
Beyond a lilting theme of hope and ...
Saturday 18th May 2024 8:50 am
Acknowledge me
It reaches further than "please fuck me" or "don’t touch me"
It’s a liminal in-between
A line we like to call blurry
But I never asked you to undress me
My body abandoned me
My words went slurry
Tongue too thick to go beyond a mumble
Kind sir escorted me to save me from stumble
Four times play on my mind
One of them I even forgot
Until it accosted me during a usual d...
Friday 12th January 2024 5:07 pm
The Moon
The mild mannered moon
Only showing its
fully illuminated face
But once a synodic month.
The manipulating moon
Born of the earth mother
And driving its tides
To ebb and to flood.
The manic mad moon
Causing havoc with emotions
Wild and dangerous
A lunatic nightmare.
Monday 8th January 2024 9:17 am
Resentment
Oh, look how far I've fallen
Like Icarus with his waxed wings
Melted by the burning desire; fell hard not soften
What does my actions do? nothing, it brings
Oh, who do I point my fingers to?
It does nothing but makes it more grim
Surrounded by shadow of guilt, no hope nor light's dim
Thoughts are loud, i just might cut a limb
Everyday I try, everyday I submit
I speak good deeds yet ...
Tuesday 12th December 2023 4:38 pm
I: skeleton
Face like stone
Hard to read
I find myself taking pride
In my totem pole
Of expressions, I can hide
Masterfully deceptive
Every bit secretive
All heart without sleeves
Makes it easier to breathe
But being naked
Really stripping off
And just letting everyone watch
That is true strength
True power
Is knocking down this tower
Being bare
Just a sk...
Monday 11th September 2023 7:56 pm
Raw eggs
I tried beautiful,
I tried pristine,
I was no good at it
I’m not neat within
I’m not “clean”
Even externally, I cannot master
Clearing every bit of clutter
I’m raw, like an egg
It’s not pretty to have a cracked head
But if I don’t
I’m practically dead
As inanimate and detached as my wooden bed
To be raw is
Painful,
Ugly,
Messy,
But it’s rich with fee...
Friday 8th September 2023 5:25 pm
One
I’m sorry to disappoint you
That I can be too sweet and so weak
And yet I can be cold and cruel too
That I can completely snap to my core
And morph into a creature of different sorts
I’m sorry that I’m not white or black
Or immaculate
Or of any matter
For that fact
I’m not anything
At all
Not wholly whole
You see,
Incompleteness
Has been my superpower
...Monday 8th May 2023 9:09 pm
Wounds of liberation
Imagine being totally untethered
After feeling chain linked
I feel split
That part removed
That half is trying to renew
But it hurts
To grow scab over wound
Missing you is mourning you
Leaving you is still losing you
And I’m just as lost
As I made you
If it could be
I would make it be
Should I be chain linked again
I would make it good
Should ...
Monday 27th March 2023 3:24 pm
Leverage
I’ve peeled off my skin for you
I’ve let you crunch my bones,
Consume beyond my flesh
Beyond my visceral tissues
Beyond my beating heart
Beyond the fibres of my being
Down to my soul
I’ve let you gobble up my spirit
I’ve let you slurp up my mind
Lick the lasting crumbs
of my emotions
Everything in me
Everything making me, me
All that constructs me
All...
Monday 27th February 2023 6:22 pm
Being a parent
Jump in puddles and make a mess
This life is to be lived at its best
Play in the sunshine and dance in the rain
Share in the joy and guide them through pain
We teach them to listen, we teach them to talk
We carry and hold them and teach them to walk
For all the manners we teach them use
We must remember to use them too
We must stop and listen and see through their eyes
...Wednesday 23rd March 2022 11:13 pm
Love: The Truth
Real love is life threatening
It’s not serene, sweet, dream love
It’s not romantic, rainbow love
No
True love is torture
Gut wrenching pain
Hands and knees, love
Need it to breathe, love
It’s enough to put you away, love
But never pull you away, love
It’s masochistically addictive
It titillates and irritates
Possesses every bit
Until you have a fit
...Tuesday 23rd November 2021 11:15 am
Vertical
years brimmed with men
their feats litter the years
lovers made me cry, life
not whole without tears
sprinkles of teardrop joy
tears of pleasure or woe
better than bland smiles,
tears with no place to go
tears springing universal
weeping tourists glisten
covering a million miles
for a man that will listen
each tear a badge of love
a validation ...
Saturday 22nd May 2021 11:17 am
My trauma sees your trauma
My trauma sees your trauma
We are only skin deep
While we don't know the heavy stuff about each other
One stranger to another stranger
To cross that line
Can bring connection
But with that, vulnerability and perceived danger
I want to take that step with you
But I'm afraid of what it might stir up
It may bring us closer together
Albeit, it might just trigge...
Sunday 21st March 2021 8:13 am
March 20th 28
Life is growing lonelier every day that passes
I’m just a slave to my fateful soul and it’s inevitable searches.
Spiralling on deeper down and forever tumbling aimlessly around. I can’t seem to put both these feet of mine on the forbidden ground.
If only my thoughts and my life could be safely contained once found. I would then progress and could grow to that magical higher...
Saturday 20th March 2021 1:47 am
Murmuration
A hyper-sensitivity of feeling
your art connects across the senses
The roughness of ancient bark
beneath gentle fingertips
A kiss from rock-pool water
warm against bare ankles
A double exposure
a murmuration
it's poetry, the sensuality
the sheer never timid beauty
lensed so gracefully
with such assurance and dexterity
The texture, a waking daydream
a cloak of fog, shaft of sunligh...
Tuesday 19th January 2021 4:38 pm
Strangeness & Experience
I want you to be unruly
write hard and clear
about tangled emotion
those who don’t
make me suspicious
I know there are other things
like genocide and selfish parking
and the bruises received
behind closed doors
I want to know people
who are walking antennas
sensitive and gifted
nerves nakedly exposed
flailing in the fallout
I was raised to keep all hidden
I was raised to deny ...
Saturday 7th March 2020 1:08 pm
Robotic
Recapturing who I was
Before my microchips
I used to be a human
Now it's electric bits
Back then,
I had less memory
I needed to
Use my brain
Subjects like maths & physics
Were such a struggle
A strain
I remember
I used to wear glasses
So much I wasn't seeing
That's all in the past now
I'm a supersonic being
I used to get
So tired
Energy leve...
Wednesday 23rd October 2019 7:13 pm
Dry
I stare at you across
the empty, scorched desert
that has appeared so gradually
and so imperceptibly between us.
The mirage that we were has evaporated,
been engulfed in desiccated emotions
now lingering in the vacant space,
hanging like a burning haze,
scorching our skin,
hung out to dry.
Wednesday 23rd October 2019 7:27 am
so this is it huh?
it hurt so much
to breathe, to think, to laugh
to smile, to worry
to feel
it’s almost like you’ve taken out
all the good parts, the sad parts
leaving me incredibly bare and numb.
i feel restless, raw
open and exposed.
like i have no barriers, no protection
just sitting there with weeping wounds
and a broken heart
brittle as my nails
wrecked and sharply cut
...Friday 10th May 2019 6:15 pm
Fleeting Emotions
Happiness is a fleeting emotion
and that’s how it should remain
for if we were eternally happy
how could we ever feel pain?
Sadness is a fleeting emotion
and that is how it should remain
for if we were eternally sad
joy would be hard to attain
Jealousy is a fleeting emotion
and that is how it should remain
for if we were eternally jealous
where would trus...
Sunday 31st March 2019 12:33 pm
Bodily Notions
The eyes are
the windows of
the soul and
speak of words unsaid.
The mouth should
be delicate in
voicing out what
the mind have constructed.
The nose smells
not just the
arome of one’s
kindness but the
filth he brings
as well.
The ears audibly
reacts to the
sound of life’s
hustle and bustle.
The tongue...
Tuesday 4th September 2018 10:54 am
Confusion
CONFUSION
Even though the sun is shining I feel the Rain/
Even though I´m numb I feel the Pain
Even though nothing´s wrong everything feels not Right/
Even though there is no darkness I see no Light
Void and Chaos fill my Mind/
I see everything and I´m still Blind
My mind and my Heart keep getting Bruised/
I know nothing but I know I´m Confused
Monday 21st May 2018 2:19 pm
Control
Intense thick clouds obscuring vision,
Pre planned malice yet no thought given,
A mess of unplaced thoughts surround
Logic whispers but i wont listen
The calm that follows leaves air so thick
A lack of focus a clearing mist
A wind that blows me from where i came
And ignorance is mine again
Exhausting though this place may be
This clouded space is part of me
To leave i need a place of...
Saturday 3rd March 2018 11:40 pm
Zodiac - cancer
i'm overly sensitive and also rather shy
i keep my thoughts to myself and hide when i cry
I notice that i'm an emotional wreck
I moan a lot and i'm a pain in the neck
i wouldn't put up with anyone like me
yet some how you do what is it you see?
Is it my certain skills like being able to cook?
Or is it because i enjoy other thing's like reading a book
is it because i'm un...
Thursday 15th February 2018 3:51 pm
Despise of sadness
This sickly feeling i have inside
because i myself lack basic pride
I am upset when i go out
in fear that others may speak or shout
Yet this one lie had gotten to me
It's made my life a misery
I hide myself from everyone
I deprive myself that natural fun
If you look at me you'll see nothing
But in privacy i do everything
i fill my body with foods and cry
secretly ...
Wednesday 14th February 2018 12:51 am
Maria
In my times of tribulations,
Arrived my salvation.
One might think it was an angel,
It was, but in the form of a girl.
She brought light into my life,
My prayer of hope in the flesh.
Her name alone is a prayer,
That brings easiness to my heart and head.
She makes me be a better man,
She has taught me to trust and love.
With her eyes, she stops time.
With ...
Wednesday 25th January 2017 1:14 am
Darkness
This one comes from some older stuff of mine, written whilst dealing with what i didnt realise was a depression / anxiety disorder at the time. Thankfully now its under control, but reading this back makes me remeber just how black things were back then.
Darkness; continuous, deep, perpetual darkness.
Constant. Soulless. Empty dark space.
It laps at the edges, frayed edges of my c...
Saturday 15th October 2016 11:56 am
A Dark Memory
Threads
Thread:
If only he hadn't had freckles.
Thread:
If only he had been taller.
Thread:
If only he hadn't spoken with a lisp.
Thread:
If only he had liked playing football.
Thread:
If only he hadn't been so shy.
Thread:
If only the teachers had noticed.
Thread:
If only he hadn't worn shorts.
Thread:
If only he had liked pop music.
Thread:
If only he had said something.
Thr...
Sunday 19th June 2016 10:36 am
Mare's Tail
Mare's Tail
(By Paul A M Palmer)
"There's only one way to kill it:
You have to dig it out."
It's what they recommend,
The locals: they have the knowledge.
Scrape and scrape the top, spade against
The turf and tufts of lichen and moss.
“You have to deepen the trench and then
Scrabble and search for the roots.”
Black and brown in the soily ground
Its fibrous tubes and tendril...
Saturday 7th May 2016 9:31 am
missing you
the days have passed by without listening to your voice.
the days have passed by without watching you smile.
even in this unfaithful world i think of you
and that someday you'l accept my love.
i don't have the courage to tell you that your smile
lights up my day and that your eyes just mesmerize me.
i see you have moved on in this world but i still stand
at the place you left us.the dreams ...
Friday 1st January 2016 8:24 pm
Intelligent Fool
Is it a fool who waits for which he knows will never come, Searching for a pinhole of light in the darkness that has become, Turning off lamps dumbfounded by what he has done, Is my fate the same as this man I see in plain view, Though I try to evade, Everytime I look into the mirror, He stares back at me too.
Sunday 15th March 2015 9:41 pm
Free write #1
Life's lost labours wilt,wither,wanting watering sprinkles. Downward spirals spin silently, serenity slithering step by step. Troubled toes stub callased skin, scraping scabbing layers of animosity and misgivings, life's unforgiveness, bleeding bluntly, replacing remnants of radial radiance with life's leftovers. A tempest's temporal trials burn, incinerate, insideous intentions. Questions g...
Friday 17th October 2014 7:41 pm
Depression Is A Killer
Do you ever feel like you could just scream for eternity
Every thought you cast upon yourself contains pure negativity
People wonder how you can feel so low, but they don't know,
Reality to you is completely different to that in which they live
Every night you go to bed, you wish that it would be the last
So many sleepless nights you're plagued by insomnia,
Suicidal tendencies play upon your...
Tuesday 19th August 2014 4:45 pm
Love,what is this bliss?
Love, what is this bliss, I do not know?
Denied all act of an emotion,
That encases the heart, and clenses the soul.
Solitude, is this all I live for?
Destined-confined to this wild abyss,
Or am I meant to fall on loves path;
Embrace its soft kiss.
Tuesday 5th June 2012 4:42 pm
Me Myself and I----A Mermaids Song
Jameson Archers Bells
Gordon's Captain Morgan Smirnoff
Guinness Tia Maria Baileys
Pernod Carlsberg and Strongbow
Days made up of these.
Sunny Days
Silk Cut days
Silk Cut nights
Sand between the toes
Blue water
white blue skies
music disco
Breakfast on the Pier
Days well made
tailored to suit
Cruisi...
Thursday 11th February 2010 8:09 pm
For Fidelity.
I sit alone
you do not sit with me
i sit alone
i do not want your company
i sit alone.
i stand alone
you do not stand with me
i stand alone
you do not stand beside me
i stand alone.
do not stand behind me
do not stand before
do not stand
do not sit
do not walk
do not be beside me.
what ever I do I do alone
...
Saturday 16th January 2010 6:32 pm
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