Life is growing lonelier every day that passes

 

I’m just a slave to my fateful soul and it’s inevitable searches.

 

Spiralling on deeper down and forever tumbling aimlessly around. I can’t seem to put both these feet of mine on the forbidden ground.

 

If only my thoughts and my life could be safely contained once found. I would then progress and could grow to that magical higher ground. 

 

Where is this release? Is it just over rated? Am I just another fool, that’s programmed to be infatuated. Obsessing over the unnecessary whilst proceeding when I should be wary.

 

Mistakes to me mean more to me than lessons from family. For they have taught me harshly life’s twisted reality. 

 

Everything I have needed to see. I know now I’ll always continue to create such foundations sub consciously within me. 

 

Memories flood my present state on a regular, force feeding me unwanted waves of my own familiar.

 

Mind control seems to be a life long battle. May only a few live to survive and stand up tall. It’s clear that many are set to rapidly fall. Almost believable to be an innocent type of a nature call. 

 

Perhaps it’s an operational cleanse to prevent further confusion. A implemented action to divert rightful suspicion. To those who may ever question this hazy illusion soon shall discover there would never be a successful intrusion.

 

Slipping I go in life and slipping away gradually goes my soul. I know I have lost focus, I know again I am losing control. An unknown intensity reminds me this loss strives to grow. 

 

It’s now my ongoing battle to achieve that so called balance. I do believe it’s not just a dream or a one off wishful glance. 

 

28 I may be. And just days another number. My whole life, actions and words are all there for me to discover. I pray if I make this life that only I’ll get tougher. 

 

Maybe it’s by choice or maybe it’s by fate that all assumed goals set I am now too late to make. 

 

At times in life I felt in a great place, maybe even untouchable. But all in all in just a deceiving daze nothing more than that set years phrase. 

 

Years pass during this camouflage of nothing more than a corruptive haze. 

 

Trying to see that light still and beauty that must remain. Trying to recapture control of life and it’s reign. Multiple reasons we will always search for. I don’t want to be a soul lost in reasoning. I just want to be mentally free and breathing. 

 

Why is this world so deceiving? And why is is so tempting to consider leaving?