Poetry Blogs (Pain)

Standing on your doorstep
Waiting for you to invite me in
My heart full of fear and self-loathing
my confidence wafer thin

Crying out to hear your answer
Nothing eases the pain I feel
This emptiness and self-denial
Leaves me close to a complete reveal

On the point of no return
A cry for help and a scream of pain
the dread and torment roam free
while sitting in this pouring refrain

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I thought I had changed

I thought I was better

I thought I beat it

I thought I fixed it

But here I stand

Trying to be tall

Knowing I am so small

The world pressing down

I’m scared again

Swore I never would be

And no one likes it

No one wants to hear it

So keep it hush

Keep it low

Don’t want to be

The girl who cried wolf

But until ...

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The flower grew within, the fumes were fornicated. Bastards grew on paper, spilt ink spread their legs to the core of chaos. Thus the evil brewed bombs. You don’t see a shadow in the dark docile day. Only when it burns you can see your damned skin and the fire. The shadow of a truth turning grey, sat beside by the yellow day!

PC: Unknown

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Do you remember how we used to savour the pins and needles on our tongues?

Do you remember how we used to bite into bitterness?

lick the spit of life

I was turned on by brokenness

maybe it’s cliche

that I craved pain

swallowing broken bottles

it's lined my pockets

it's swollen my stomach

Do you remember when we saw ‘sad’ as just another crayon

to colour ourselves in w...

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the sound of nails on skin

the ripping of those barriers

between whats in you and whats out

the sound of beats on your head

the swelling of self-hatred and humility

forced on yourself by yourself\

cry at the sight and more at the sound

be flushed with the shame\

knowing you're not good enough

look up at the sky at night

run by yourself in the dark

the outside is so...

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What was going through your head?

What was running through your mind?

It's the one thing I'll never understand;

How you could just walk away and leave me behind

Didn't leave a trace, no reason to be found.

Just taken away and never reunited.

Do you understand the pain I've written across my heart;

When you took away from me, everything I had.

I was just a child, I...

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I have many scars

You can’t see in the light

Behind my smile

Is a world of pain

Constant battle

With myself

Whether it’s worth it

To try anymore

‘Cause in the dark

I introduced you

To every part of me

Showed you everything

When the sun came up

The truth came out

And without a doubt

I’m unloveable

Should’ve known

Never should’ve...

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Those words

All the ones I wrote

Like band aids

Across the wounds

You left all over me

All the words

That flooded out of me

Aligning themselves

In comprehendible lines

And organized stanzas

They helped dry my tears

Allowed me to forget

Gave me the strength

To move forward

Providing a closure

That didn’t require you

And I forgave myself

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He is sad, he is hurting

No one ever told him he was wrong. 

Spoilt and arrogant, 

He had become. 

Behaviour always accepted. 

A love for himself, 

he always expected perfection, 

Nothing else.

It’s not his fault. He knew something was wrong, 

an angel he searched for, an angel he won. 

Another win, at his feet, treated her with deceit. 

Ignored...

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She has dark days and dark nights, and bright days and starry skies. He was diluting the darkness into brightness. But then he became annoyed at her darkness and started to see it all the time even when it wasn’t there. He would poke and prod for it, he was finding boxes of darkness that didn’t exist until he started creating them and suddenly she had more to carry than she realised. He was shouti...

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{When You've Took Away All My Will Power}

When you've took away

all of my will power as a 

human being and as a

woman as well I have 

lost my dignity I feel 

ashamed of myself

constantly I feel like that

I have to hide my real

self and I have to hide

my face and my body

from everyone because

I might not meet their

standards and that you

migh...

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for you to literally sit in front of a motherfucker and to have blood on you and to be shaking so bad and tears streaming down your face and snot coming out of your nose and spit running out of your mouth with bruises still on your legs and arms from your last encounter and the person you are sitting in front of still not give a damn and still somehow make an excuse for leaving you as though it's ...

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she used to be so damn happy
but i guess theres more than the eyes can see
because if im speaking truthfully
she was never really that happy
amused? shit, just maybe
confused,
that she was terribly
misused,
thats all she began to know, you see,
the abuse began from a young age
the very peak of her growing stage
the beginning of the book that told her story
was marked and torn from the ...

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forgotten are the times

our laughs filled the air 

gone are the times

we wished would never leave 

time passes

memories fade

in blistering august 

i shiver 

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contemporaneous cold, 

in the winter of my agony 

july's heat long forgotten,

january's frost an eternal constant 

and yet 

one remembers, 

flowers bloom. 

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Lines I wrote while very upset:

Im worthless to you and rich to everyone else. Why?

Can you hear me screaming? My lungs are bleeding. 

I’m not even in the water but I’m drowning. 

We’re going no where. Ever. It’s a standstill. 

Why do I keep trying? 

You got got me fucked up. I know my worth but apparently you don’t. Are you fucking stupid?

I...

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Bloody Showers

One time in a waking hour
I decided to take a long hot shower.
and to my suprise as i scrubbed,
I saw my knees, were red with blood.

Being dizzy from the night before
I couldnt recall the time i last snored,

"what happened last night?"
I dont remember..
Why my breast was bruised,
and my nails were shattered.

I only saw the day before,
because nighttime whistles, ...

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{Just So Sick}

I'm so sick of 
being so tired 
of being so weak 
all of the time 
due to my 
illness and 
sickness but I 
hope and pray 
it will get 
better for me 
but I honestly 
don't know if 
it ever will 

©Tina Glover All Rights Reserved/One_Pissed_Off_American_Ghost_Writer 2017 but posting here on February 21,2018 

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When it was discovered, we recoiled

Out of doubt, out of fear

We focused on the opinions of others

Instead of what we thought

When I let our secret fly free,

I was shown acceptance and love

Hope blossomed like a cactus flower

It would be okay. 

He was capricious, of two minds

One day yes, the next was no,

He produced a name, but renounced his love

I proce...

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25/10/11

So unpredictable.

So sharp and so cunning

Is the pain that run through me,

Hideous yet so stunning.

I want to keep it here, 

I want to feel it's cold aching

Blood spilling from me

My heart is still breaking

What if I want it to stop?

Please, leave me alone!

It'll be there. Waiting.

For me to decay down to bones. 

Maybe that's what I wa...

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Like the morning bird
You sing the stars away.

Just like that
My darkness burns to light.

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This sickly feeling i have inside

because i myself lack basic pride

I am upset when i go out

in fear that others may speak or shout

Yet this one lie had gotten to me

It's made my life a misery

I hide myself from everyone 

I deprive myself that natural fun

If you look at me you'll see nothing

But in privacy i do everything

i fill my body with foods and cry

secretly ...

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I think I hung myself in your tears

Yeah, the other day I realised

One noose, one tear drop - same shape.

I choked on the salt of it

eternally thirsty now

When they fell from your eyes

they looked like showers of broken glass

How I wished I could have swallowed that instead

I think that would hurt less

I’ve got 6 bruises, 7 cuts, 3 scars

I’m still counting.

But why...

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Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #49 (Doobie-Doobie) 

(Doobie-Doobie)


When the doobie-doobie drugs don't work any more girl you are just a fool if you think love don't hurt because hot damn it does that's why one more blow to sniff until I cannot breathe 




And when the doobie-doobie-doobie don't work any more as one more sniff and one more puff and popping one more pill until...

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“I’m fine”

F. reaking out

I. nsecure

N. eurotic

E. motional

Those are the words that F.I.N.E make up

Words that lie

“I’m fine”

I say as my mind reels and races through time.

Not a day goes by that I don’t question myself.

My misconceptions and decisions.

I wish I knew how to express my thoughts

Maybe in a conclusive way,

one that was easily understood

and ...

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This rumination came from growing awareness of my mortality which, in turn, is generated and measured by the expanding list of things once given or assumed that, alas, are no longer possible.

The Mirror

How shall I talk to you, my friend?

How should I regard you

(and will I care)

as you grow ever older before my gaze

while I stay young?

Who are you? Dare I look on yo...

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I wrote this piece while I was caring for my identical twin brother, following major surgery. Nearly everything you may have heard about identical twins is true.

Brother

The pain of being is not mine, but

my brother's. He cries and howls the Midnight

down into uneasy drowse

as the daylight lifts his covers

over swelling clouds of hurt.

Breaking, I balm him a little,

wh...

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I asked If I wrote for you would you read it? I asked if I still had love for you would you need It? All I can think about is when we on that dock had our first kiss, Cupid shot that arrow and did not miss, How will I get through this? When you asked me to leave caused all this pain, Every day we have been apart has driven me insane.

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