Another spotlight, make the headlines.

A final shout-out to the ranks of the-do-fine.

Did I make you stop and think?

Now looking down… from the look down,

me and every other ghost in this town

who couldn’t live life on the brink.

And I say - hey. There’s got to be a way

for everyone who couldn’t be.

Yeah, I say - hey. There’s got to be a way.

Gotta be a way… for m...

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Ah! 

The simple sorrow

Of no more tomorrows 

A gasp of air

No longer there 

Drifting down life's breezy alleys

To settle in some distant valley;

A nomad memory roaming free

Returning only occasionally 

To minds who thought all was calm

Under masquerades of smiles & charm

        Do we only truly live in youth?

‘Til conformity becomes our truth?

Teth...

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Cut me open, bleed me dry 

A knife not a tool, a liberator

There is the forgiving woman with sorrow

Deep in those eyes, to a place 

I am oh so unfamiliar with

There are places you know, you see

It is the dark holding our sparks 

A flock of deft touches and harmony

Yet the pulse of the thunder rolls over

Sparks scattered, hidden or gone 

You will never, never...

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Let me search for a lonesome tree,

For little lonesome me

To give some quiet company.

Let my body replace

The absence of its leaves.

Let the wind caress my skin,

As tenderly as it would the leaves.

And when the day awakes,

With the sun peeking up

from beneath its covers,

Let a singular shadow be cast.

Of a hanged man and a tree,

Keeping each ...

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The wind seems to blow when the cold settles in.

Darkness will fall after shadows begin.

The end truly came long before you were through,

now everyone is going to miss you.

Captain, my captain now gone to the sky.

Words can’t describe all the reasons we cry.

The circle’s complete now, there’s no reason why.

Captain, my captain… goodbye.

…Tribute Robin Williams

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The days don’t seem to give a damn,

they march in step of time.

They stare ahead with eyes of steel

while never breaking line.

They torture me with disregard,

they tread upon my soul.

They seem so unaware I’m here,

they simply come and go.

I once believed the day would come,

I hoped that it would give

the thing that I was searching for -

a reason I should...

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Hokey Okay - Experiences with the mental health teams 
 

The police bring you in, next thing you’re out,

In out in out, fucks your head about,

They do the okay okay and turn you around,

Claiming that your mindsets sound!

Woahhh you’re okay okay,

Noooo, ill chokey chokey,

Woahhh, you’re okay okay

Head hurts, alarms sound ah ah ah

Then you’re back in again, out ...

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Love is, 

replacing the soothing touch of water 

with the burn of swirling red. 

Love is, 

broken glass on the ground, 

not being able to differentiate red from red.

Love is, 

freely seeking comfort in another’s bed, 

knowing your own will be empty anyway. 

Love is, 

conceiving a child, 

in the hopes it will turn your lives around. 

Love is, 

heated argu...

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For me, 

Please,

Stop cutting.

I said.

A broken record.

Only now,

As she lays in the grave,

Six feet under.

I wonder

if things would have changed,

If I just once asked her to

Stop cutting,

Please,

For you. 

Would it have made a difference, though?

The reason to cut or not remains 

the same, either way.

Nothing can change that here

She...

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I pick up the shards of glass 

that are scattered on the ground.

I marvel at them in wonderment,

how beautiful it once was.

Still, it'll serve a good cause.

Such a pity, 

won't you applaud?

This is the end of the show,

Don't you hear the crows?

Toss your roses

Or will you wait till my eyes are closed?

Pour the alcohol,

Let the bubbles float to the surface.

Dr...

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People often say that God is merciful.

Then why is it that every night, every day, every waking hour of mine, 

I keep reciting the same prayer?

‘Have mercy, my Lord, and put this subject of yours out of their misery’.

If God is so merciful, then why is it that I still find myself breathing?

Exhaling every breath, hoping this one will be my last.

Why is it that I find myself all t...

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Poetry comes to me
In bits
and pieces
I write it
On a paper
All those
random lines
Which look like
Prequel plots
of
A hurt
not yet felt
I keep losing
this paper
Just like how I
Keep losing the
Thoughts of you
And of
you and me
Confusing
my heart
So I get to
postpone
the hurt--
 

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‘’See you tomorrow’’,

that was what you said.

Back then, I could not identify it as a lie.

I only realized when I got to your house the next day,

your hanging frame decorating the place.

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Husband, father, brother, son.

Just for another day. 

Another day you'd see the sun, 

shining bright through clouds. 

Today the day was nice.

Only that you weren't there. 

Will be more such days, 

but you will never see the sky again. 

Now there is silent, suffocating heat. 

In the heart cold darkness lays.

As cold as metal shue shelf, 

which you were hanging from....

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I’ve come to the end of my days

My little short fuse of a time is to fly

stopped searching for the cave in which it lays

all my sorrows, where the last tears are drawn from 

where all the pictures of the past have lost their smile

where the black ink has started to dry 

It is but a scissor I need to cut off this red 

To let it breathe with a new breath so fresh

To...

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So I've thought out this letter for so long as the times have changed my words have too everything changes but my mind this windowless prison permanent guard oh shadowed screw

Understand ..This was carefully planned 

I  did consider all options fooling myself..knowing other options weren't an option 

Constantly fighting and am tired I'm  locked away double pad locked and it's co...

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I’m not sure how to do this…

to turn around from self-hatred.

to not despise this life of mine.

to no longer want to throw it away.

To realize it was never mine to begin with.

To be thankful for all that I do have

and to seek the flaws in my own logic.

not for self-pity,

but to reorganize my perspective

and see what I’ve had the whole time

and simply missed.

I...

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what is it I’m trying to do here?

“your poetry is beautiful”

“you should be proud of yourself”

If only I never hid away.

If only I was still 7,

then it would be acceptable.

If I had opened up back then,

I would have had people falling over themselves

to make me feel better.

But I’m a grown ass man now.

and no amount of complaining will do a da...

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Can I have a hug?

Can I not be pulled away from?

Can I be weak, and in pain?

Can I have any physical connection that isn’t sexual?

Can I not be afraid, of the casual flirting,

with the barista behind the counter.

Can I have a small piece of the love,

Shown between a girl and her friends.

She goes to embrace another she,

A group of besties, inseparable from each...

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I want to split my head on a fire axe

I want to be found, dangling in a closet

I want to be a fine red mist on the front of a train

I want to be pulled in four by horses and rope

I want to be skewered atop a church steeple,

on display for all to see, as in the ancient days

I want to decorate my room with my flesh,

and turn my sanctuary into a meat locker

I want to...

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Suicide was my religion

I woke up every morning and called myself garbage

I went to sleep every night calling myself a coward

I was so absolutely furious that I was alive.

And so petrified that I might actually go that far,

should I ever put effort into my own abilities.

Clinging to life by my depression and sorrows.

I know no other life.

I know no other reality.

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I'm defenceless, powerless.

Constrained, by uncontrolled emotions,

To this rollercoaster: up, down, up, down.

Desperate screams silenced in smothering shame.

I didn't consent to this ride,

So why won't you let me get off?

Sadness is suicide;

Anger is murder,

Happiness is euphoric,

And normal? Normal is northing.

And nothing being an insufferable emptiness,

That hol...

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That I would hang myself in the sky outside your window

and slowly reach my hand out to the sun,

claiming its fire as my own.

One more bright star in your sky,

a bloody inferno.

So that when you look out,

there is one more small piece of joy.

I am all I have

to give.

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tiny bits

WTF did oxford pilot do in the flying abortion he was flying? that question i ask. the darker part of war. that the villagers state is true, the answer. did the canadian pilot DELIBERATELY RAM the german hornisse heavy fighter? no of course not. the oxford broke apart under 20mm cannon fire. and the kraut was hit by debris. but the locals said he knew the hornisse would...

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in my cupboards

skeletons hang

still mouths strangers to the songs they sang

I take them out

bone-dry and hoar

wan skulls shorn of the locks they wore

pelvic sculptures

sharp as a blade

silent shrines to hectic love they made

bereft of flesh

that lit my fire

no lithe joints but threads of thin wire

hot tears drop on

memories clean,

pick...

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The thought of you alone, only a spirit no physical mechanisms to communicate although I suppose you thought that through?

Maybe you were born knowing and it was your purpose a secret between God and you 

Maybe you tried so hard to ignore the pain 

Scared of your thoughts fears of insane

Did you know something that no-one else did 

Had this planned since you were a kid ?

You...

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"You have been here a few days now",

"Since Saturday", she replied

"And why did you come in here?"

"Because I attempted suicide"

She didn't have any worries,

She wasn't sad or happy,

It was blank, emotionless state,

Nothing to do, nothing got her interest,

Now been quite a few time living through this noiseless rhyme,

It was like a vegetative state, living in her mi...

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(Originally song lyrics for a friend, wrote after the tragic suicide of Chester Bennington)

Broken friends 

In the backstreets of my mind 

I kicked a ball against a wall

It bounced into a neighbours yard, 

Where, I cut my hand upon a shard

of glass that glittered in the sun, 

Into my mind again I'd run

And wake within this broken life

Upon my wrist I held a kni...

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At group therapy we met

Eye contact at a premium

In terms of looks she was

Bordering upon medium

Mam and brother hated

She came to stay at mine

I rarely saw her sober

She hid a stash of wine

I really tried to love her

But I didn't have a clue

She'd bled, half-formed,

Out of somewhere blue

Men she cordially hated

I was a means to an end

A saf...

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A simple note to explain doesn't seem long enough
To bring on one sheet my final feelings and thoughts

Why am I doing this and what lead me here?
It wasn't just one event and the timing wasn't near.

I'd start when I was younger but who can remember that far back?
Unfortunately I do with every panic and anxiety attack.

You'd probably start to see why by the time I finished 10th grade
B...

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This poem is deeply personal to me and is about my time I spent as a crisis worker helping people who were experiencing mental health emergencies or attempts of suicide. The subject of this poem is suicide; please know that its contents could be triggering. If you or someone you know and love are experiencing suicidal thoughts or need to reach out, please don't hesitate to talk to someone. You are...

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In a dusky morning, the sun was setting,
Wanted to scream in a silent mic.

No more of this frustration, no more of this hatred,
Death was the only freedom came to his mind.

Listening to the people, listening to himself he realised,
Many a things don't matter, So does his life.

Losing his hobby, his like, his ego, his pride.
Losing his humanity, was what it was like.

'Try to stay po...

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wanted to cry,

but smiled,

wanted to talk,

but stayed silent.

wanted to feel happy,

but endured all the pain.

wanted to live,

but died.

          k.d

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Pressure was too much

Pain was unbearable 

You tried tried 

But you failed to heal

You were worth all of it

But they made you feel de trop

You just wanted to be happy

But all they gave you was sadness

You wanted someone to comfort you

But all they gave you was negligence 

You wanted to live

But soon they made you dead

              ...

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Please don't abuse yourself 

i know it's suffocating you

I know the pain is unbearable 

and you want everything to just end

Please put that knife away

it's for chopping vegetables 

not for ripping apart your wrists

Please throw that rope away

its for hanging clothes

not your precious soul

I know it's hurting you

i know it's bad

But pleas...

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i loved the feeling of blood flowing down my wrists,

the sensation of pain used to make me feel alive.

i was not afraid to lose my life,

because i was already long lost.

thoughts of killing my ownself dint scare me,

beacuse death was my only desire.

people used to say i am going crazy,

but they never felt my pain.

i tried, i tried so many times,

to li...

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It has been two years today
Since I have had a fight with my then girlfriend
And, crying bitterly, I entered the living room
Replied to my father’s concerns
And let him know his daughter was dating a girl.
No wonder he hasn’t spoken to me since.

But, this poem isn’t about me
And nor is it about a cousin sister of mine
Whose phone was found in the living room
Full with smuts and gay stor...

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When sun comes against all odds

And the colours of life just pop

Or when the rain falls

It falls and falls

And you wet your lips

With piping hot tea

With warm biscuit

Savour the crumbs

Cosy and safe

In the arms of a jumper

The padding of the sofa,

Like a huge hug

Or when your face aches,

Your stomach vibrates

Because you are fighting to breathe

Through ...

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Twas the dawning of Father's Day, so said Facebook
Not a feeling was stirring, not even a fuck.
No flowers were planted by the headstone with care
Cos a mad pauper's grave can have no headstone there.

The children were restless, and not in their beds
Cos visions of suicide danced in their heads
Of white overalls and of tablets and shame
And sickness and pimping, a life quite insane.

Th...

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You try to trick
You try to play
But I told you
I won't let you stay.

In my head
You've made a home
Constantly screaming and
Finding space to roam.

Playing on repeat
Every reel I cannot stand
Scenes of trauma, the
Torture of your own brand.

I said go away
Told you I'll break,
It only gets worse
When I lie awake.

So I'll take your tools
And take away your space.
Ending it ...

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Lying on the bathroom floor,
blade resting on the sink.
Unsure how to get up,
I feel myself begin to shrink.

Bloodied tissues looking down
on the mess lying below.
Beaded drops continue to form,
until heavily the must flow.

Shivering against the cold,
damp towel draped over.
Naked body frozen in fear,
flashbacks still they hover.

Passed out from exhaustion
of the war raging insi...

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One foot in as she tests the waters,
Scorching hot, enough to revel in.
Tub over-flows as her body sinks,
Like her heart filled with so much sin.

Flames make shadows dance on walls,
Anxious they jitter from beneath the seam.
Chest tightens under the weight of 100 bricks,
As the air continues to thicken with steam.

Tile floor stained with a crimson splash,
So sure this way she would ne...

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Oh how I long for a blade,
Rubber bands don't do the trick.
A sting that feels so temporary,
Uncontrolled so goes the flick.

Oh how I long for a blade,
This welt is just not enough.
Repeatedly striking against my wrist,
Skin recognizes the bluff.

Oh how I long for a blade,
Cold stream of red is not the same.
Ice shrinking from inside my thigh,
So close to the origin of shame.

Oh ...

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Therapy’s been fine but it’s not fixing my problems.


Each week talking about something new, but we never actually solve them.

Mr. Joyce tells me I need to let my emotions pass through me.


But my emotions make me who I am, so I know I need to disagree.

My identity has always been important and, honestly, I identify as depressed.

That as well as anxious, lost, and always stress...

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If one should get right up to death's very brink

This is the time to stop and think

'Shall I stay alive or shall I die?'

Though there is no one round to hear this cry.

We are not crazy, bad or weak.

Only to end our pains is what we seek.

Oft we keep these troubles to ourselves

For we feel that no one can be of help.

But whatever there might be ahead

We cannot m...

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I have forgotten the feeling of what normality means.

I float around within a numbness submerged within a dream.

I see the world pass faster every single day.

I see my end come closer, I see the future become shorter;

 I can’t help but slaughter the time as I begin the decay.

It’s hard to find blame, but it’s a rationale thought to try and understand how this happened.

The worse ...

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pull out thre trigger u know how it go 

call up lil leek cuz he still got that 4

when I'm down bad I do not got nopbody

release all my problems when I drink this bottle 

still fucking hoes man I just fucked this model 

nobody know about all of my problems 

call up tequila u know she gon solve it 

I wanna stop drinking but I got nobody 

I try to reach out but they always dec...

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I left yo love in a cell 
My momma screaming 
Imma go to hell 
But see fuck that 
She ain’t even pay my bail 
Tired of feeling like shit 
Always feeling like I failed 
Mf that I know I failed 
Steadyin going to jail 
But I’ll never tell 
Never been loved 
Can’t you tell 
Give them my heart 
Just for them to bail
A lot of pain in my heart 
So don’t ask me why I yell
I know umma go t...

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Too many people suffering in isolation, lets start a conversation.

Monday …

day one of the slide …

and I’ve managed to quell the dark things inside.

I take a deep breath, supress the sigh …

push out my chest and hold my head high

The flex and the dark things are tidied away

A quick self-esteem pep-talk, then face the new day

It’s by no means plain sailing but I cope, strugg...

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I attempted suicide,

But I didn't die,

Not losing my life,

But what it means to be alive.

I'm drained of all motivation to continue,

But also of all strength to follow through,

I shouldn't be here,

It hurts, but it's true.

My days feel so long,

My existence feels so wrong,

I can't look at life the same,

Because I simply don't belong.

I can't be happy,

Or even...

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