Made a painting
it isn’t too big or too small
too fancy or too empty
just the right peaceful amount of boring
grabbed an old dusty brush
and buried it in pink
like the cheeks of a smile covered in blush
covered it all
all the sadness all the hate
anything too dark to make me feel small
covered it all so I could forget
leave it all behind
as if it was someone el...
Thursday 17th November 2022 8:40 pm
I want to be as hot as the sun,
As bold as the ocean.
I want to shaped like a perfect, pretty, pink heart,
And painted by Di Vinci himself.
I wish to be as beautiful as Cleopatra,
Yet as poisonous as a snake.
I wish to be happy with long hair, and shiny ivory skin, as plump and picturesque as one can be.
Let this not be jealousy,
Let this be the truth.
Let me not be engu...
Thursday 17th November 2022 7:59 pm
All the pain and despair
Emptiness, loneliness, and longing
All the heart wrenching moments we've had since we were young
And all the things that try to bend break you
Even if they sometimes succeed
All those awful things that hurt so much
Are merely devices which mold you into who you were always meant to be
Face down the anguish and use it as a tool to sculp...
Monday 31st October 2022 6:40 pm
So it ended before it began,
but I have no regrets nor sorrows..
It's as if I knew
deep down my heart
that it never could be
like two rail tracks that'll never meet,
like the moon and the sun that'll never collide,
a mirage in the dunes, mistaken for the oasis for a while,
a book with only a prologue and an epilogue ,
with no chapters in between..
It's not that I don't care
or don't ha...
Thursday 16th June 2022 4:08 pm
ive been invited to a party this saturday.
i think i will go,
i think i will get as drunk as i can.
to feel the painful crushing weight of the sunday hangover.
im going to act as if i am in a french film.
i will tell each person a different lie,
tell them something i've made up about myself.
these people dont know me.
dont know me at all.
but whats more lik...
Thursday 2nd June 2022 11:09 pm
What should I write about today?
Damn if I’m not tired of writing about myself.
As good as it is to develop my story,
boy is it repetitive!
I would love to have some success under my belt.
If only I didn’t self-identify as an insurance liability.
my mind swinging back around to my past every chance it gets.
A pattern I seem incapable of breaking.
I tire of asking,...
Friday 20th May 2022 5:49 pm
Lately in your eyes less than perfect
Look in my eyes never perfect
If you are bringing drama best be worth it
I feel alone though.. I don't feel like I deserve it
You're in the room still I feel I've been deserted
I'm far from perfect
For what it's worth.. you should know that I am worth it
Know me better I can work it
Got me thinking for a minute I'm not worth it...
Friday 18th February 2022 3:49 am
I am more than my sexuality. My job. My pleasure. My image.
I am my past
my future, my lessons,
my life, my heart, my fears.
My skin aches to be loved and my eyes to be seen,
my ears to be heard,
.. me... ME... to be seen.
My passion, is not simply created and finished between my legs,
between my thighs,
but flows within my body like glitter in the wind....
Friday 31st December 2021 9:20 am
Let's look at ourselfs today, do you love you today?
Look again, what can we do better?
Look again, look good.
We kinda look good today, don't we?
Look at that smile hiding, those twinkly eyes.
If you look even better, we look beautiful.
But we already knew that because we are!
And we need to own it!
Wednesday 10th November 2021 2:33 pm
I've sat up a tree for days and no-one noticed.
Neither the few who wandered underneath,
Nor the even fewer who should have cared.
Enough to realise I was missing!
And no-one came searching.
Time has no meaning, when the bark is pressing
Into the base of your spine.
And trees don't have cushions!
After the first hours, you only know you are there
Because you can't feel your feet.
Friday 23rd April 2021 8:34 am
Although there are still two more poems to be met in the unrequited love sub-theme of love's tempest it is chronologically correct to open up new sub-themes of 'friendship' or 'platonic love', and 'self-love' or 'self-esteem', these themes often intertwine and overlap.
I thought about whether to just finish the unrequited love theme and then return to this first of the friendship poems, but I t...
Tuesday 20th April 2021 9:37 am
While waiting for the bus to school,
I came upon the weighty problem
Of what to do with my hands and feet.
Unused to such quandries and puzzles,
I first thought the answer to be
Simple, like hands in pockets, and stand on feet.
But unbidden, there came to my mind
A picture of myself, standing on my feet.
A plump girl, with her hands in her pockets.
At last I could stand it no longer
Friday 26th March 2021 12:58 pm
You promised me a future,
I painted the perfect picture.
Failing to see the sands,
Slipping through those firmly grasped hands.
Your one moment of affection
I’d find an eternal connection,
I thought this was love,
Until you took away my winter’s glove
I stopped dreaming,
My heart was screaming,
What was this injustice?
The longest day, it was my solstice....
Tuesday 9th February 2021 4:13 pm
A little poem inspired by the all the positive aspects i discovered over the last year in lockdown.
As I walked past the empty gym,
My thoughts began to swim.
I wondered what now? Where will I find my escape?
Lost in thought, I continued down the cityscape.
I listened intently,
As the winds blew gently.
The outside air called for adventure,
A need for wander...
Friday 5th February 2021 3:54 pm
Sometimes I wonder if you ever loved me
I wonder if you ever felt the way I felt for you
Sometimes I wonder why you stayed by my side so long
Why did you watch my light slowly die
And then blamed me when it was all gone
Sometimes I wonder why did you fall in love with someone else when you had somone by your side who gave you all her life who gave you her heart
Then I realize th...
Tuesday 2nd February 2021 4:24 pm
What if we could have no doubt
What if we could all just look at this world through a child’s eyes
What if we could share our life’s without being judged
Let energies meet and collide
Trust that people won’t hurt you
Trust that people won't see you for the crazy human you are but instead for the new beautiful soul you’ve become
Monday 14th December 2020 3:04 am
Seeing the shadow in vision
Getting feared of what the great poison
Hiding out back to the scratch
Tired of being what they're interpreted
To be looked up in the sun
To be puked in deep water run
To be lost in relief distance
I was fight,
But no lights were made
So where is is heading through wind?
Passing it off to be betrayed and seen
That soak tree's been relied on
As this volt i...
Monday 7th December 2020 5:02 pm
Focused on piercing eyes, light hazel abyss
I reached down earnestly past orbiting hips
Fingers parting engorged velvety lips
To find within a now aching, sensitive tip.
Unprepared and panicked
Myself, I know not what to do with.
All consuming heat and fleeting chills
Dreams are becoming reality
Wednesday 23rd September 2020 10:30 pm
I am sad.
I am worthless.
I am unlovable.
Nobody loves me.
I do not deserve to be loved.
I don't matter.
I have no matter.
The world would be a better place without me.
Nobody cares whether I'm dead or alive.
I wish I were dead.
Tuesday 4th August 2020 12:59 pm
You always see
when people trip and fall
face first onto a knee,
The shear panic of a red warm pool.
People crowd and care,
Rushing to rescue.
Drip, drip, drip,
The skin now stained
seeping from veins,
Pumping like a bad memory,
Fixated on the blood
people forget the scars,
Not the one oozing with puss
but the one deep-rooted,
Crying out for atte...
Wednesday 13th May 2020 10:17 pm
~A fractured mosaic staring back at me
Shades of blue, brown, yellow, gray and green
Are the stitching that weave this being together
A fabrication of vibrant parts synthesizing to make a real whole
The real me~
Saturday 28th March 2020 5:59 am
I woke up today feeling a bit numb
I woke up today feeling like everything will be fine
I woke up today and decided that I was done
I woke up today and cried
Then I looked in the mirror, I said, " Girl you look fine!"
Then another voice said, " Don't you dare give up!"
So I put on a happy face,
And I headed out to find that girl I once was....
Happy. Beautiful. Strong...
Monday 3rd February 2020 3:37 am
what used to hurt me
what used to scare me
what used to make me curl up on the floor
shaking to my very core
I am constantly afraid that one day
I will come face to face with my mistakes
a tableau of painful regrets and aches
the times I said I couldn’t when I could
the times I said I wouldn’t when I would
the past stil...
Tuesday 12th November 2019 11:23 pm
He loves her but,
she loves him,
but he loves the mirror
like his lost love loves selfies.
Adoration, pointing every direction,
like weather vanes in a hurricane.
Each unware their
is bound to end.
Love lessons often repeat
until we understand that
real love begins within,
then overflows to others,
making the circle of love
Tuesday 26th March 2019 3:39 am
Bring Back the Pin Up
I was a sexual woman
Until my consent and its importance,
I was robbed of.
This is the year where-
I rediscover her
In my coven
Friend to friend
My witchy woman tell me how to be-
A proud feminine,
Love bug again
I know, I know!
I will observe you in your glory
Take notes, mimic my old self and copy-
When i was ...
Sunday 3rd March 2019 8:14 am
Where’s The Sun?
I used to orgasm imagining i was running to-
To reach climax for the relief was spiritual
Sex for me has remained-
Now it’s perverse and sexual.
So, I hide inside-
The dark of the night
And only come out when the moon says
You’re safe now.
He has my best interests in his heart filled with craters
Other women scarred with play...
Sunday 3rd March 2019 8:10 am
It's time to let go.
It's time to move on from the past,
from whatever it is holding you back
The random pain from memories
coming back to you as if two years was instead, two months ago
It's time to be free of all that is not meant to be
You know and I know
The universe will show you which way to go
Find true connection from within
Only then will you find clarity...
Monday 4th February 2019 6:12 pm
Me, where is she
squeeze my skin, the flesh
it’s not me
I love me
the love I have lives deep
it’s far, so far beneath my cheeks
I wish I could hug me
to make myself believe
that with a finger touch it’s me
so then I’d see
that I am not this temporary body
and what I am is free
but Earth demands an anchor, you see
unfortunately for me
because it becomes all...
Tuesday 9th October 2018 12:01 am
It is time for Renewal and Rebirth!
The shedding of habits, worry, and fear
Letting go will put my mind at ease.
I no longer want to feed stress and self doubt,
In the corners of my mind they disappear.
I wash away the negativity,
I wash away the pain,
I wash away the regret,
My goal is no longer to please.
My heart will no longer hurt,
I will put mysel...
Saturday 20th January 2018 7:13 pm
Eyes that seek truth,
A heart that knows no bounds
A mind that eludes and intimidates
A soul that is and always was free
Determined and passionate
Emotional but strong
I can get through anything
Even when I don't want to
There are times when I do not know myself
These times are hard
Patience will show my path
I'm so grateful I was not alone
I'm still not al...
Tuesday 21st November 2017 3:50 pm
I'm my own worst enemy,
It's funny how that works.
To see nothing great in me,
To question, "what's my worth?"
Looking in the mirror,
All I see is filth,
But the mirror isn't dirty,
It's just the figures spilth.
People try to compliment me,
But I only disagree,
Not seeing what they see,
They must say not what they mean.
I need more motivation.
My job is nothing great.
I need to...
Thursday 22nd December 2016 7:47 pm
Learning to love yourself is gruelling. Every flaw, every mistake, every quirk. Only us ourselves know how characteristically flawed we truly are. So we hide. Hide behind make up, clothes and materials.
Social media enables us to create an ideology of the person we think we are, the person we want to be. But in the midst of the night we lie awake contemplating ourselves. Questioning our choices...
Tuesday 1st November 2016 3:17 pm
Wednesday 26th December 2012 1:49 am