Rudyard Kooistra on
12 hours ago
I think of you way more than I probably should
I wish so much now that I somehow could
Turn back the hands of time, start again- rewind
Pull back the impulse, erase the hunger
Let logic and level headedness put my eagerness asunder
The state of being to which I now aspire
Is to be free of this want, all this desire
The thrill of longing, not so thrilling anymore
Sunday 11th October 2020 2:11 am
I sit bewildered
With no one to blame
For I indeed
Should be the accused
I stare at you
But you're not there
You've been replaced
Replaced by fear
I long to see you again
The man I met
Friday 9th October 2020 3:56 am
She walks masked, meandering,
unacknowledged through her neighbourhood
Wishing earnestly that she somehow could
share her true self
remove the make-up painted veneer
she hangs nightly on a shelf
how emancipated she would feel
no longer enslaved within her mind
because of this facade
strangers think her, the vapid kind
no thoughts of value
within her head, you'd fi...
Monday 28th September 2020 6:56 am
Wanting to remain latent,
Repressing every thought, hope, and dream.
Until the right time, place, person...
Monday 28th September 2020 3:40 am
IT HURTS WITH GRAVE PAIN
YET, LIFE THEY SAY,
IS BUT A DREAM...
Saturday 26th September 2020 10:19 pm
I've been foolish
unguarded and exposed
vulnerable, ripe for the plucking
how clearly he saw this
how oblivious I must have seemed
trying to live the dream
Ruthlessly he burrowed into me
what he sought I do not know
one swift move, a hand, a pillow
I was no more
fear and shame soared
Rushing into everything
brings forth nothing...
Friday 25th September 2020 6:06 am
Lost in a sea of thoughts salty with fears
Her arrid eyes void of tears
Adrift, aimless she sailed for years
A tattered raft of determination her only support
On the horizon utopia beckoning
An obliging port
A siren's song, haunting, promising sanctuary
Pulling her in with its ethereal melody
Taunting her hope's
Teasing her dreams
Promising the actuality of possibilities
Through her dau...
Thursday 24th September 2020 2:40 am
My whole body reacts
to the image of you in my head,
As I lay impassioned in bed.
I have never been more aware of the material that encapsulates the mounds on my chest.
My hips move involuntarily, my cl*t pulsates,
seemingly to my quickened heart and shallow rapid breaths.
I can see clearly your lips, your mouth,
those discerning eyes that I love and hate in equal amounts....
Wednesday 23rd September 2020 11:48 pm
Oh to call you daddy...
What a thrill that would be
Oh to call you daddy...
To have you spank and reprimand me
Oh to call you daddy...
How I would giggle and squeal with delight and glee
Oh to call you daddy...
Wednesday 23rd September 2020 11:20 pm
Focused on piercing eyes, light hazel abyss
I reached down earnestly past orbiting hips
Fingers parting engorged velvety lips
To find within a now aching, sensitive tip.
Unprepared and panicked
Myself, I know not what to do with.
All consuming heat and fleeting chills
Dreams are becoming reality
Wednesday 23rd September 2020 10:30 pm
In another life
you are mine and I am yours
all is as it should be,
I'm enthralled with you
and you with me.
Just as I am now
only having eyes for you,
you knowing me
even more than you already do
but without all the boundaries
and our courtship being taboo.
I surrender completely,
you let me in,
joy and possibilities
no prior kno...
Wednesday 23rd September 2020 4:08 am
I matter to you You matter to me I want to mingle with your matter Taste your matter Touch your matter Breathe your matter Absorb your matter Have our matters combine Create new matter
I want to tell you how much you matter Why you matter Explain the effects your matter has on my matter Show how much your matter has changed my matter even without contact or fusion
I imagine spontaneous combu...
Monday 21st September 2020 11:04 pm
Eyes met mine
A smile effervescent like sparkling wine
Confident, sweet, real, insightful
Inspiring, sexy, intolerably appealing
Bewitchingly my heart he is stealing
Without realizing, I am totally lovestruck
There is no hope for me, I am thoroughly f@*ked.
Monday 21st September 2020 1:36 am
Feeling sweet, flying high, you between caramel thighs
Latent passion, burns bright, red hot in the middle of the night
Never grappled with such emotions, had desire with such devotion
Thankfully, rationality quells the ache in the waking hour, logic turns sweet sour
Forbidden thoughts tantalize, it's torment to fantasize
Futile to take action, never to fruition comes satisfact...
Sunday 20th September 2020 6:16 am
betrays all that I try to hide
soothes the turmoil inside
takes my breath away
gives me hope for another day
reveals desires I have forgotten and were dormant
offers what I need and all that I want
awakens a passion I so desperately want to indulge in
pacifies my suffering.
Tuesday 15th September 2020 2:10 am
(Waring! Excessive use of expletives)
Hindsight illuminates the plight
Retrospect brings dark to light
Always a little too late
Try as I might
Do I stand up and fight
Or is this a time for flight
I can never seem to tell
Never get it right
Maybe genetically, I am a mix of ostrich and possum
Freeze and play dead
Or, in the ground with my head
Monday 14th September 2020 10:50 pm
Must think happy thoughts
Avoid the lure of melancholy
One must remain jolly
Feign being upbeat and perky
Until it becomes a reality
Yes, you can do it
It's no sweat
Grin and bear it
Smile...abate the threat
You are now a pro...
A life spent surviving the impossible...
This is but a minuscule bout of sorrow...
Monday 14th September 2020 10:21 pm
She wondered into his place of work
because she thought she was loosing her head
When approached by him she lost herself,
her wits and her heart instead
She found her will to try,
emotions she had lost,
physical urges she thought she had shed
The sight and sound of him,
the insight he shared,
her soul he fed
Cautiously she indulged,
dependency has only ever bro...
Monday 14th September 2020 10:11 pm
I sat before him
Crumpling in onto myself
Lost in my head
Wishing I was dead
It's over now
Why are we still here
He got what he wanted
Why does he sit there and stare
My body limp
Folding over in submission
My head on his knee...
Monday 14th September 2020 5:44 pm
I lost all control
Crossed the threshold
My tears too excruciating to hold
I prayed earnestly to be released from the pyre
I saw you and I continued to burn
Only now, I burned also with desire
Fervent interest realized
The voodoo you do, mesmerized
Oh, what power you weild!
Desperately I yearn to yeild
Tuesday 8th September 2020 5:46 am
I can't breathe.
I don't want to breathe...
I want to seethe.
Please let me seethe...
(Because I can't have you!)
I want to feed.
Why can't I feed...
(I want to devour you!)
I have needs.
Don't you have needs...
(Let me fulfill a few!)
Let's do the deed.
Let me do the deed...
(I want to make love to you!)
Sunday 6th September 2020 6:31 pm
Who am I
why do I
when will I
where can I
My identity un-formed and crude
The show never ends
Until the curtain is drawn
All the doors are closed and simulations suspend
I don't know who I am
Give anything to be sure
Stand firm in my convictions
On both sides of the door
No duplicity here
All masks removed...
Saturday 5th September 2020 10:19 pm
Silently I weep
What one sows
Isn't that what they're supposed to reap?
Why do I remain good
Continue to be kind
Try ever so hard to preserve my mind
Karma seems to lack purpose
Or simply ignores the concept of time.
Doesn't my pain matter
My life unrecognizable and tattered
Am I that good at pretendi...
Saturday 5th September 2020 6:21 pm
Panic setting in
For reasons unknown everything is unsettling
I wished I could kick my heels and disappear
But, instead, he appears
Through the haze his face is clear
I fight the urge to will him near
Oh God, did he sense my fear
Or my emotions churning and my tears near
How does he do it, what exactly does he hear
Me quietly praying, daring him to care
Friday 4th September 2020 6:18 am
The future unknown yet frightful
A familiar face in the crowd
So warm, inviting and sweet...
Everything makes sense again
Hope is reignited
Fear, is once again
For the time being
( " PSYCOBABBLING" )
Friday 4th September 2020 6:00 am
Am I making an impression...
Do I leave you bewildered with every expression...
Do you look forward like I do to our weekly sessions...
Or are my scribbled musings akin to aggression...
An unbecoming, pathetic vie for attention...
I find you delightful and have a genuine fascination...
I am curiously eager, feelings bordering on intoxication.
But, apparently in therapy t...
Friday 4th September 2020 4:14 am
When shadows go into hiding
And dreams run wild
I imagine you all stripped down and bare
All facades shed
Thoughts of me invade your head...
Or so I wish, a girl can dream
I miss you, I want you
If only I could scream
These words out loud
Remove the shroud
Say them loud
Say them proud...
But I mustn't disturb the peace
What is unknown must remain ...
Thursday 3rd September 2020 10:20 am