A Spark Of Words
Although there are still two more poems to be met in the unrequited love sub-theme of love's tempest it is chronologically correct to open up new sub-themes of 'friendship' or 'platonic love', and 'self-love' or 'self-esteem', these themes often intertwine and overlap.
I thought about whether to just finish the unrequited love theme and then return to this first of the friendship poems, but I think this poem about a friendship moment holds an important clue to why the unrequited love season came to an end so it shouldn't be placed out of sequence.
And so, the poem:
A Spark Of Words
I've been sitting here, thinking of ways of saying.
Imagining you were here,
And speaking to you.
And seeing confusion, when the explanation wasn't
Hands held helpless,
Like you want to understand, but can't.
You seem so doll like,
But let's face it, I'm the doll.
I had no confidence, so you gave it.
I had no self esteem. So sweet.
If what you created, (what you nurtured)
Turned and bit you,
Should you mind?
If we had a clash of wills, a spark of words,
If marionettes pull strings,
Shouldn't you be proud?
Don't turn away and frown!
I've been sitting here, thinking of ways of being.
Imagining a life, and living it.
At a cross-roads but I can't make up my mind.
Yet, I know, I must be true to me and what I want
Or regret it.
I know if you don't ask of make things clear
You won't get it.
I know that other people find this method works,
I know this method hurts
Not only me.
I also know it doesn't have to, wasn't meant to be.
If I could be that way with half the skill you do.
Get what I want, and come out looking just as good.
I can't, so fresh and clumsy, I.
Being hard is not as easy as it seems.
But something I've learnt, emotions will not block;
I'd rather be a rock under ground
Than ground, under a rock.