Poetry Blog by Jacqueline L Elias

The hard part about all this is that you already found new love

You decided she was better than me that she is enough

The words you said, "to infinity and beyond" we're all a lie and you left me when all I ever wanted was compassion,understanding, and love

But the day you walked out, I learned the truth about life. 

I learned that the only person that could make me strong was God

He...

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Heart beating fast asking, begging, praying, for it to slow down

It can't take the pain of being in love

A love that is impossible, a love that is gone

So she takes a hit, and then everything moves so slow

Her heart calms down and she forgets the pain 

The clouds fill her lungs and she takes a final breathe

Her heart calms down and the pain is no more 

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I can see it in your eyes

I can feel it in your soul

The path seems so confusing and you just don’t know 

I tried to fight your battles

I tried to keep you safe

I tried to give you love but you just ran away

Then I opened my eyes and realized

The battle isn’t mine 

So I closed my eyes with a broken heart and cried 

And then I prayed to God that he shows you the way back ...

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In a world that is broken and full of crime and hate

There are people who still have faith

Faith that can move mountains and make things well

There are people who believe with all their heart that things can heal

They believe that with faith anything and everything is possible

Through pain, death, and brokeness we must always remember to have a little bit of FAITH

Let God take th...

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You lie awake in bed with your eyes swollen from the tears and the pain

Wondering why you deserve to hurt

You play back scenes in your head thinking , " Was it all fake!"

The smiles, the love, the times we laid together in bed, talking about children, and houses by the lake

You close your eyes and tears fall down your face and you cry to God , " Please, please make it all go away!"

...

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I wish I could tell you how much I miss you but there is no point in that.

I wish that things could be different but I know that they will not.

And I wish I could stop loving you but my heart is so torn and yet so full of love.

I wish I could turn back time and make you be mine.

But these are all wishes that God hears but doesn’t act on.

And everyday it’s a battle to keep moving on ...

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What do you do when the person that once brought you love brings you nothing but pain.

What do you do when the person you gave your heart too took it and threw it away. 

What do you do when your heart beats so fast it feels like it is coming out of your chest.

And the love you once had starts to change into tears and hate.

And that person that once brought you comfort and made you feel...

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Hello, can anyone hear me?

Hello, are you still there listening to my cries?

Listening to me as I fall on my knees, feeling so empty as this world falls apart

Hello, God! I need you! We all need you!

Our world slowly falls and we all begin to feel empty wanting human contact, human touch

God silently watches us and our empty lonely hearts

Waiting, quietly, for us all to call his ...

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Your heart beats fast 

You’re love is so strong 

I can hear it like beating drums 

You love me even though I’m broken

You love me even though I’m weak

You’re love is unconditional to me

I fall on my knees crying, yelling , “God why do you love me!”

The voice whispers back to me, “ Because you are beautiful because I made you as a part of me!”

The light shines bright 

And...

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For many years I walked in shame

With my head bowed down not looking anyone in the eyes

Shame for not being good enough

Shame for not being wanted nor loved

I sat in darkness wondering if I would ever be able to find light

Sat there wondering, if I would ever be worthy or enough

Then a voice whispered in my ear, " I am here."

The voice got louder and yelled, " I am here."

T...

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I have learned that I am African that I have African blood

I have African brothers that protect me and will not let me fall

 I've learned about the atrocities that slaves went through

I've walked through the dungeons and smelled and seen the horrors that slaves experienced

I stood in the female dungeon and heard the cries for help and felt the fear that these women went through

I've...

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Wait,don’t give up

Wait, everything will be fine,

“Wait,be patient,” God tells you.

Your heart pounding hard

Your head spinning with thoughts 

“God,” you yell waiting is so hard

God says louder, “ wait and your promises will come true”

So you sit and listen 

You sit and wait 

Hoping, dreaming that his promises will come true soon

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It is hard having faith

When you feel so much pain

It is hard to obey when you feel so betrayed

It is hard to smile and put on your pretty face

When your whole world has seems to have crumbled

But then that voice comes back to you and says , "Look how far you've come, look how strong you are!"

The voice tells you everything is going to be just fine

You breathe, close your eyes...

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Many days I was in darkness
Many days I cried for help
Seeing no beauty in this world
I forgot what it felt like to smile and not feel pain
A simple act of kindness
Will you come here and slide with me?
A simple question
A simple task
Sliding down the slide made me smile
And feel the love of God

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What is next? I ask God

Tell me please because I feel so lost

Losing control of all that is around

What is next? I ask God

Then a small voice howls in the wind saying, "Worry about now!"

Smile, Breathe, Relax

Don't worry about the future nor the past

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I woke up today feeling a bit numb

I woke up today feeling like everything will be fine

I woke up today and decided that I was done

I woke up today and cried

Then I looked in the mirror, I said, " Girl you look fine!"

Then another voice said, " Don't you dare give up!"

So I put on a happy face,

And I headed out to find that girl I once was....

Happy. Beautiful. Strong

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A dark cloud over me

No matter how hard I battled I seemed to be stuck

No matter how hard I tried to overcome the struggle it was eating me alive

Breathe, wake up, walk

What is wrong with you I yelled, " You have God!"

Get up battle, don't give up

Life keeps throwing punches at you

Life keeps making you fall

But fight, fight and be strong

Don't give up

Don't you dare ...

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It's been a hard day

Smiling pretending everything is fine

If I pretend it feels better

If I do it enough it hurts less

I haven't texted you all day

I haven't ran to you

I keep telling myself I don't need you anymore

I keep telling myself I don't love you

But a voice in my head keeps saying, " Be patient, be kind, show yourself self-love."

Then I look at my arm the word ...

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I made a decision that was hard

To let you go 

To let you fly

God told me don’t worry she’ll be fine

God told me ,“ Love is patience. Love is kind.”

I cried and yelled and couldn’t accept it 

His voice was clearer his voice was loud

He said one more time, “Love is patience. Love is kind.”

I finally understood I needed to stop being selfish 

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"God, God!" I yelled and cried.

God why have you abandoned me.

I drank to see if the pain would go away.

"God!," I said I still feel hurt

I still feel pain!

Then I finally gave up and cried for days and saw nothing but darkness

Then a voice came and said, " Get up, don't give up, put on your shield, put on your armour!"

The voice was mad the voice was hurt the voice was comman...

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The words you said made me realize it's all done

I cried, yelled, and wallowed in self pity

Then I showered

Did my hair

Put on clothes and said  , "That is it girl get it together!"

I said, " That is it girl look at that mirror!"

You are BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, and SMART

I said , "I love me!"

"I love me!"

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Urge

I have this urge to call you

An urge to beg you

An urge to show you I can be happy

I have an urge to tell you that I am strong

I have an urge to tell you that I agree and we're done

An urge to say I know you aren't coming back

I have an urge to stop torturing myself and finally let you be free

I say one more text that is all I need

I say one more text that is all I ...

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I Forgot

I forgot how much I loved to write

I forgot how much I love me

I forgot how much it hurt to be alone

Yet, to know that you are free

I forgot how much I love to sing

To feel the warm sun on my skin

I forgot to be me

I forgot how to smile

But today that all changed

Today I remembered...

I remembered it no longer us

It's no longer you and me

Now its me!

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