Poetry Blog by Jacqueline L Elias
For many years I walked in shame
With my head bowed down not looking anyone in the eyes
Shame for not being good enough
Shame for not being wanted nor loved
I sat in darkness wondering if I would ever be able to find light
Sat there wondering, if I would ever be worthy or enough
Then a voice whispered in my ear, " I am here."
The voice got louder and yelled, " I am here."
Tuesday 25th February 2020 5:46 pm
I have learned that I am African that I have African blood
I have African brothers that protect me and will not let me fall
I've learned about the atrocities that slaves went through
I've walked through the dungeons and smelled and seen the horrors that slaves experienced
I stood in the female dungeon and heard the cries for help and felt the fear that these women went through
Friday 21st February 2020 6:14 pm
Wait,don’t give up
Wait, everything will be fine,
“Wait,be patient,” God tells you.
Your heart pounding hard
Your head spinning with thoughts
“God,” you yell waiting is so hard
God says louder, “ wait and your promises will come true”
So you sit and listen
You sit and wait
Hoping, dreaming that his promises will come true soon
Tuesday 18th February 2020 12:52 am
It is hard having faith
When you feel so much pain
It is hard to obey when you feel so betrayed
It is hard to smile and put on your pretty face
When your whole world has seems to have crumbled
But then that voice comes back to you and says , "Look how far you've come, look how strong you are!"
The voice tells you everything is going to be just fine
You breathe, close your eyes...
Thursday 13th February 2020 6:03 pm
Many days I was in darkness
Many days I cried for help
Seeing no beauty in this world
I forgot what it felt like to smile and not feel pain
A simple act of kindness
Will you come here and slide with me?
A simple question
A simple task
Sliding down the slide made me smile
And feel the love of God
Sunday 9th February 2020 4:25 am
What is next? I ask God
Tell me please because I feel so lost
Losing control of all that is around
What is next? I ask God
Then a small voice howls in the wind saying, "Worry about now!"
Smile, Breathe, Relax
Don't worry about the future nor the past
Wednesday 5th February 2020 5:41 pm
I woke up today feeling a bit numb
I woke up today feeling like everything will be fine
I woke up today and decided that I was done
I woke up today and cried
Then I looked in the mirror, I said, " Girl you look fine!"
Then another voice said, " Don't you dare give up!"
So I put on a happy face,
And I headed out to find that girl I once was....
Happy. Beautiful. Strong...
Monday 3rd February 2020 3:37 am
A dark cloud over me
No matter how hard I battled I seemed to be stuck
No matter how hard I tried to overcome the struggle it was eating me alive
Breathe, wake up, walk
What is wrong with you I yelled, " You have God!"
Get up battle, don't give up
Life keeps throwing punches at you
Life keeps making you fall
But fight, fight and be strong
Don't give up
Don't you dare ...
Saturday 1st February 2020 2:54 pm
It's been a hard day
Smiling pretending everything is fine
If I pretend it feels better
If I do it enough it hurts less
I haven't texted you all day
I haven't ran to you
I keep telling myself I don't need you anymore
I keep telling myself I don't love you
But a voice in my head keeps saying, " Be patient, be kind, show yourself self-love."
Then I look at my arm the word ...
Thursday 30th January 2020 5:14 pm
I made a decision that was hard
To let you go
To let you fly
God told me don’t worry she’ll be fine
God told me ,“ Love is patience. Love is kind.”
I cried and yelled and couldn’t accept it
His voice was clearer his voice was loud
He said one more time, “Love is patience. Love is kind.”
I finally understood I needed to stop being selfish
Wednesday 29th January 2020 11:35 am
"God, God!" I yelled and cried.
God why have you abandoned me.
I drank to see if the pain would go away.
"God!," I said I still feel hurt
I still feel pain!
Then I finally gave up and cried for days and saw nothing but darkness
Then a voice came and said, " Get up, don't give up, put on your shield, put on your armour!"
The voice was mad the voice was hurt the voice was comman...
Tuesday 28th January 2020 9:56 pm
The words you said made me realize it's all done
I cried, yelled, and wallowed in self pity
Then I showered
Did my hair
Put on clothes and said , "That is it girl get it together!"
I said, " That is it girl look at that mirror!"
You are BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, and SMART
I said , "I love me!"
"I love me!"
Tuesday 28th January 2020 9:47 pm
I have this urge to call you
An urge to beg you
An urge to show you I can be happy
I have an urge to tell you that I am strong
I have an urge to tell you that I agree and we're done
An urge to say I know you aren't coming back
I have an urge to stop torturing myself and finally let you be free
I say one more text that is all I need
I say one more text that is all I ...
Monday 27th January 2020 10:03 pm
I forgot how much I loved to write
I forgot how much I love me
I forgot how much it hurt to be alone
Yet, to know that you are free
I forgot how much I love to sing
To feel the warm sun on my skin
I forgot to be me
I forgot how to smile
But today that all changed
Today I remembered...
I remembered it no longer us
It's no longer you and me
Now its me!
Monday 27th January 2020 9:58 pm