lost my way
my soft soles patter over the cold slates that make up the maze of halls im scurrying through.
i am on an adventure, a treacherous journey,
to retrieve a single key for a locked door ive been trying to batter down my entire life.
there are others, winding their ways through the spiralling turrets.
sometimes we even fall in unison,
our shoes hitting the same beats, on the same beate...
Thursday 14th July 2022 12:51 am
bird watching
gracefully i perch on the edge of the bus seat,
so as to convey my feminine, my eyelashes.
each time the doors open my posture rushes to fix itself,
my fringe blown out by my hands running through it.
when i'm most worn out,
on the days when the world is dragging its feet,
when my joints tingle with pins and needles.
to look pretty on the edge of a bus seat is a fufillin...
Saturday 2nd July 2022 10:10 pm
girls and their nonsense.
floating in that acrid pool of nothingness,
a feather kissed the tip of my nose and whispered softly over my face.
in that moment, decided.
i watch the village of women who surround me each day,
awash with a soft awe at their mossy eyes and woolen hands.
i link arms with the girl i love most on a late night walk,
running from the boy who asked me to give apart of myself.
...
Monday 20th June 2022 3:08 pm
you know the bliss of evil
i've seen the smallest, tall creatures be eaten alive from the inside.
a quick glance to the left and under the bed will tell you all you need to know.
the festering, rotten bed frame.
assembled by the very thing that chained me onto it for years.
but when i finally broke my own chords, vocal and the ones restraining,
another creature crawled from under the bed and took my place.
...Wednesday 8th June 2022 10:10 pm
an ode to Nancy
she died on the bathroom floor you know.
a cut on her ribs.
the rib borne from man,
killed the girl on the bathroom floor.
no one had kindness. no one had words of condolences.
only four pictures and a note,
only they proved someones love for her.
the things that made her beautiful,
an innocence lost,
a bleach blonde tangle,
and a vicious lover from a doomed...
Monday 6th June 2022 6:36 pm
the day I decorated one side of my wall
on the day i decorated one side of my wall,
there was a statue that fell with a crash,
and cratered the ground.
a statue whos golden plaque was read aloud to me as a child.
and on the day i decorated one side of my wall,
with the movie quotes,
and the pretty people,
on that day my eyes bruised themselves silly.
my pockets full of hours, and grief.
non violent pu...
Friday 3rd June 2022 11:16 pm
parties are the end of the world.
ive been invited to a party this saturday.
i think i will go,
i think i will get as drunk as i can.
to feel the painful crushing weight of the sunday hangover.
im going to act as if i am in a french film.
i will tell each person a different lie,
tell them something i've made up about myself.
these people dont know me.
dont know me at all.
but whats more lik...
Thursday 2nd June 2022 11:09 pm
immature in elementary
i'm choosing to forget the stick and poke image,
of myself in my head.
my likeness is one i want to be liked.
the stick and poke is immature and elementary.
think your high school aquaintance,
who always wanted a tattoo.
but 15 was still too young.
so they mutilated the innocent skin of their thighs.
the mutliated image of my body, my face, my ugly wretched soul
b...
Thursday 2nd June 2022 3:42 pm
no place unlike my own world
its awfully strange.
i scrapbook pieces of my soul, and mind together.
together on the pages of a lined notebook,
the glue i used melts into the paper and the newspapers i borrowed evaporate.
the news dies, or fades, it disappears.
melted together with the newest form of creative escapism ive decided upon.
there are vibrations under my papercut hands, markered with...
Tuesday 31st May 2022 4:46 pm
star shaped stickers
when i see the girls who match my soft body,
when i see them wear the skirts, the tshirts, you know the ones.
well when i see them, i feel as though i must reach through to the other side
of the screen that seperates and give them a star shaped sticker.
the stickers that, while they got their flowers, we coveted on our walls.
it's awkwardly awkward trying to explain this to anothe...
Sunday 29th May 2022 11:06 pm
a bang trim
to feel as if one has emerged from a cloud of dust each time they wake, has to mean a great deal.
it's what's on your mind, as you duet with the girl on the other side of your headphones.
it must feel like the brightening of the day, the singing of the earliest bird, the sweat after the fight.
at least this is what you think to yourself.
for you it means to be able to run two steps ...
Sunday 29th May 2022 9:29 pm
TEENAGE GIRLS
who wants the teenage girl
sitting on her rustled bedsheets.
stained tshirt, stained tear tracks.
smiling, cooing and ooing at the people on the tv.
blushing when he kisses the girl she wants to be.
or when she sits alone in the cinema, grinning.
toothy smiles, outrageous laughs
too loud even for the rest.
seeing the best film in the world.
then another best film in the world.
co...
Saturday 28th May 2022 10:34 pm
NEVER BEEN KISSED
love feels like cold jealousy.
sitting across from one another.
the table could be worlds and oceans.
i sting with furious stomach churning envy.
snakes and beetles scurrying between my legs.
closed and rotten now i know what i do.
she is so much younger than i,
the times my time was always first,
no longer exists.
she broke a cycle as old as i, and therefor
as old as my time.
...
Saturday 28th May 2022 10:30 pm
I AM! I AM! I AM!
charcoal toothpaste.
teeth whitening strips.
water on a bathroom floor muddied with muttered songs.
cans of who and why on a windowsill.
forehead sweat. made to stick fringes.
quick to anger. founded in a parent not so unlike.
jerking awake. jolting asleep. comfort nul.
calm mornings when the sun alarms.
evil feelings when green and yellow lie dormant.
stuttered uttered eye contac...
Saturday 28th May 2022 10:26 pm
wading deep, bloody water
its hard to measure a single beating heart
to measure its clawing judgement.
to measure the mothers beating blood while she’s
wrenching, retching and writhing.
its hard to measure disgust,
difficult to seethe while corps-less hearts beat inside you.
its easy to declare a hidden hate,
easy to let it wage a war on a world you don’t understand.
its hard to watch, fallen sisters.
its ...
Saturday 28th May 2022 10:23 pm
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