that year we met, i trusted you.
i believed you liked me for who me and wanted to be friends.
but you didn't. it was all a lie.
you wanted to be friends just to get inside.
i confided in you and listened to all your problems.
always there to brighten your day.
yet, you would always go back to her.
i was your back up---someone to fill the void.
a void so deep and ...
Tuesday 13th July 2021 5:05 am
You pushed me away,
And now I am going to live my own life
Right under your nose.
And I hope that you notice every smile
That someone else makes me laugh.
I am going to be free of your demons.
I am going to laugh every time I see you,
And be so pleased that I
Saw the worst bits before we were married,
Like once you said we would be.
Oh my poor poor Mr Misunderstood.
Friday 18th June 2021 2:25 pm
The only thing I knew was pain,
And you showed me what love was.
All I had experienced was crude desire,
And you wanted me like no-one else
I'd burnt my faith,
And then the ashes of my faith, away.
And still it felt safe to believe you.
Any sadness I had,
I know was only brought with me.
It was my only possession, still,
You convinced me to throw it away.
How did those arms, ...
Tuesday 15th June 2021 7:55 am
Let me hold, once more
That special place.
Can't I one more time curl within your embrace?
Or how shall I comprehend
Suddenly so different from my own?
Suddeness? What suddeness is this,
That many months existed?
Disbelief? What disbelief can live
Inside this certain knowledge?
Or shall I let false words
Echo around my mind another moment?
Give me back that ...
Saturday 12th June 2021 2:04 pm
All those things love didn't care about
Are much more relevant when,
No longer wanted,
Life makes you decide again
Whether to go on believing.
That didn't spoil the diamond on the ring,
May add up worth considering,
You have the chance to fit a different gem.
All the problems love didn't care about
May make it not worth the fight,
Friday 11th June 2021 11:44 am
we were an unsinkable ship,
built to sustain any injury
thrown our way, or so we said.
cast into the dark,
yet illuminated with infinite possibilities.
suddenly slipping through our fingers
the bitter cold quickly rushed in,
and the music played on.
while the chaos surrounded us
and the children were tucked safely in their bed,
the music played on.
while prayers were whispered,
Tuesday 25th May 2021 4:34 pm
I feel it itching under my skin
clawing away deep inside
I thought i could be myself around you
now i am just sorry that I ever tried
I find myself bending over backwards for you
trying to leap through these flaming hoops
Still, it isn't a choice that you choose
For that wouldn't ever, benefit you
We're winding down this endless road
neither of us can find any hope.
Still we hold ont...
Sunday 31st January 2021 1:44 am
Your cell walls fresh-free
of their love.
must be dumbly plucked from each pink pore,
thrown to landfill,
labelled 'Hazardous biowaste, may cause hideous burns'.
Third, make re-chaste your newly bleach-scoured bone and blotted clean flesh
with a sore blessing of Domestos and clov...
Saturday 9th January 2021 2:05 pm
The hard part about all this is that you already found new love
You decided she was better than me that she is enough
The words you said, "to infinity and beyond" we're all a lie and you left me when all I ever wanted was compassion,understanding, and love
But the day you walked out, I learned the truth about life.
I learned that the only person that could make me strong was God
Friday 21st August 2020 4:11 pm
I stand in front of a crowd
I’ve prepared for this night
I speak of you, us
I sing of you
The stories describe how we loved
And then how you left,
How your ghost tormented me
And left my heart a wreck
I’m done crying over you
Over and over again
Our story is done
Finally at night
My peace has come
Thursday 26th March 2020 5:15 am
You left me
half-full plant pot ashtrays, old mugs of midnight teas, a jacket you spent too much on, the dregs from cheap red wine, rolled up train tickets, desecrated baggies,
and a dent on your side of the bed.
Tuesday 12th November 2019 11:00 pm
Thank you for
of pushing me away.
For helping me see
the price of loving you
is too high to pay.
For saving me
a life of heartbreak,
torment, and dismay.
For all the things
you wanted to,
but didn’t say.
as I go
my own way.
I hope to repay
# # #
Wednesday 30th October 2019 3:12 am
Her skin is pale in the early evening
hanging upside down
from the foot of an unmade bed
watching the world beyond the window
where Autumn rain falls upward
and lights divide
No appetite in this dark room
no appetite for days
friends all kept at bay
no rubber masks, just patches of ice
no fireworks, only fallen leaves collecting
passing headlights flood the room
Thursday 12th September 2019 11:01 am
I've tried to write this
Fifty times over
Each time I get closer
But somehow still miss
I miss something
In what I want you to know
I miss something
In saying I don't want to let go
If this is goodbye
Then say it now
I'll give up the fight
I'll let you walk out
I've loved you like no other
I've never held...
Tuesday 25th June 2019 2:44 am
The first time I saw you, your mouth held no words.
I would take you out and watch you marvel at the birds.
Your awkward waddle would bring me smiles.
There was peace in my life holding you as we walked for miles.
The screaming, the crying, the testing,
The laughing, the hugging, the learning.
As I helped you grow, and loved every moment.
Even the ones that involved your excrement.
Saturday 13th April 2019 9:19 pm
I do not get it when they say,
We will not make it one day,
I do not get it, when they laugh,
On us and on our scars
I do not get it when they do not believe us,
How crazily can this world suck?
I cannot express the pain in words,
Let’s run because we seem cursed
Let’s run away from the chains of pain,
Let’s run away where we can dance in rain,
Let’s run as ...
Monday 21st January 2019 8:38 am
Standing on the platform, waving goodbye to yesterday’s train.
Perhaps you wanted to feel you had a little bit of control.
You’re saying you hope that train never comes back again.
A peripatetic pretense helps to ease the pain.
It’s a phantom journey, but no one has to know.
Standing on the platform, waving goodbye to yesterday’s train.
You collected yourself, stood erect, and hoped to appear sane.
Monday 17th December 2018 10:10 am
I think I hung myself in your tears
Yeah, the other day I realised
One noose, one tear drop - same shape.
I choked on the salt of it
eternally thirsty now
When they fell from your eyes
they looked like showers of broken glass
How I wished I could have swallowed that instead
I think that would hurt less
I’ve got 6 bruises, 7 cuts, 3 scars
I’m still counting.
Sunday 11th February 2018 2:21 am
I stretch some more
sprawling over my bed
caressing the cold sheets beside me
A weight sits on my chest.
The pang of my solitude,
visiting me in the silent hours of the morning
I bring your blanket closer to my chest,
Sucking in your smell,
Breathing the pores of you.
It’s started to fade now.
The staleness and the dust has set in.
Sunday 12th November 2017 10:42 pm
I still remember the first time we made love,
It was simple and easy, with your weight above.
I remember expecting pain and feeling none,
I remember biting my lip when we were done.
It was so long ago, half a decade gone by,
But it still keeps me warm when you're not by my side.
Perhaps it's wrong I know I ought to move on,
But how do you stop an oncoming storm.
I still wis...
Tuesday 9th May 2017 2:26 pm
Always I think of you,
I don't know why I do.
It opens doors I cannot close,
I feel adrift in the chaos.
Each time I look inside of me,
Searching for something to hold to my heart.
A memory of pain or fight or slight,
So I can say it's good we're apart.
I find nothing, there is nothing to find
You were good to me, you treated me right.
I'm lost and lonely I now need ...
Tuesday 9th May 2017 1:44 pm
Where were the words
why couldn't we talk
So much I wanted to say
but the words got caught in my throat
Why did the magnet push us apart
when there were words to say
Could it be different at a different time
was it just the timing
I don't know
So off beat
We couldn't get the timing
of the dance
Yet the magnet d...
Friday 9th December 2016 3:21 am
Chaining smoking til my lungs are done, Chest pain come not sure if I can make it Trying to take this path to the dream I envisioned, Can't make the right decision I bailed now my life is in shambles I'm out here in socal dreaming of the bay, Looking for a way to construct these abstract thoughts, Onto the pad wanting it bad but finding it hard to make the ink spill, Attempting to leav...
Sunday 15th March 2015 9:06 pm
A little poem that is very much not in my usual style!
We have known each other a long time now,
and whilst I know you will always be there for me,
it is with a heavy heart that I must tell you the following:
We can no longer be together.
It’s not you.
I find I can’t keep away from you,
and I have so much work to do these days...
Thursday 27th September 2012 5:51 pm