The Queries of a Heart that is Torn
I feel it itching under my skin
clawing away deep inside
I thought i could be myself around you
now i am just sorry that I ever tried
I find myself bending over backwards for you
trying to leap through these flaming hoops
Still, it isn't a choice that you choose
For that wouldn't ever, benefit you
We're winding down this endless road
neither of us can find any hope.
Still we hold onto these ropes
in hopes it'll save us, and keep us afloat
I really have tried to confess to you
that this horrid mess, plagues me, with blues.
Still you insist, that you are just "fine"
even if we seem, to be getting much worse, with time.
Why have things changed, for us, so drastically?
do you now regret giving me, the room to breathe?
would you prefer it, if I was to set you free?
Would talking it through change much for us?
Or perhaps that is just another unatainable fantasy?
Why have you shut me out of your head so much?
did i do something wrong, or was I just not enough?
Perhaps it was foolish, to think that I could be loved
though maybe it was real, but has begun to wear off
I wish that i could ease these concerns within my mind
but when you have nothing to go off, it can be rather unkind
thinking of it's own answers to the issues it finds
to try to free itself from the prison, to which it is confined
Are we beginning to grow further apart each day?
Or is it my mental health decieving me again?
Please give me some answer, or even a hint
because otherwise my brain will just assume what it thinks.
Perhaps I am always a ship destined to sink
with so much luggage, that never will shrink
it was likely naive to expect us to win
Still a faint bit of hope, lays deep inside
in hopes this is just my mind, and its lies
though, if after I have done nothing, but tried,
I end up enduring heartbreak, from continuing this ride
I will regret all the times that I laid awake and cried
and every moment to which my head, was fried
I loved you so dearly, that i must confess
though i have no answers, on how we escape this mess
I hate that our lives, are filled with so much stress
but wouldn't being there for one another, be what is best?
or am i just a fool for becoming so very distressed?
Either way it is time for me to end the vicious cycle we made
To ensure that my body, mind and soul, can finally feel safe.