Poetry Blogs (humour)

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An Aussie Farmer's Lot.

An Aussie Farmer's Lot.

 

Ah ! the sumptuosity of blessed

virgin flesh

the thoughts of carnal knowledge

as we hurry to undress

 

But soft; I hear the lowing

of an agitated cow,

such trial and tribulation

weigh heavy on my brow

 

Pray hold the moment madam

whilst I service Daisy-Bell

then take a soapy shower

to eradicate the smell !

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Aussie FarmerCarnal KnowledgeHumour

Sandwich fillings: an elegy

Siberian kale with cherrystone clam

Bulgar, quinoa, and spicy brown mustard

Orange okra served with whiskey-roast ham

Red chard, leaf lard, and savoury custard

 

Avocado jam with relish of quince

Shaved black truffle with sourdough croutons

Sun dried tomatoes with guinea pig mince

Plantain wraps served on tiny oak futons

 

Sandwich menus leave me filled with remorse

...

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comedycomicdecimaFunny Poemshumoroushumorous poetryhumorous versehumourlight verseSandwichesShort Funny Poemssonnet

The Gift (Limerick)

The Gift  (Limerick)

At the end of a trip to Tibet

I brought home for my daughter a pet

"You fool," said her Mamma

"She asked for a 'LLAMA'

You're short of one 'L' I regret."

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HumourLimerickLlama

Mutual Admiration

Your dandruffed head which once was fair

Your sweaty armpits clogged with hair

Those sagging tits that touch your knees

That fluff-filled navel full of fleas

God ! you're sexy when you're bare.

 

And you my love are perfect man

Your dentures even have a tan

And though your willy's lost its zing

Eventually it still goes in

You're HOT........come take me while you can.

...

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AdmirationHotHumourLimerickPerfect ManSexy

Disorientated (2)

 

Yesterday a policeman shit on my head

when I went to complain to a pigeon

about my gypsy being stolen by two cars.

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DisorientatedGypsyHumourPigeonPoliceman

Morning Glory

Morning Glory

I woke up with a girl in my bed

It stunned me so here's what I said:

"My god you're attractive

are you sexually active?"

She replied, "Are you right in the head?"

............................

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HumourLimerick

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