Always I think of you,
I don't know why I do.
It opens doors I cannot close,
I feel adrift in the chaos.
Each time I look inside of me,
Searching for something to hold to my heart.
A memory of pain or fight or slight,
So I can say it's good we're apart.
I find nothing, there is nothing to find
You were good to me, you treated me right.
I'm lost and lonely I now need you more,
Isn't it funny? The twisted irony of it all.
Why, I still remember, we gave up on love,
Even as I lay in bed on a summer night, cold.
The knowledge is no comfort,
But a reminder of what could be.
The challenges then daunting now seem sweet,
The uncertainity once haunting seems a treat.
Return to me those hurdles, headaches and dreams,
I'd rather live with them than lose the will to go on.
I wish I could tell you, show you this verse,
But pride is my demon, my biggest curse.
So I will smile and pretend all is fine,
Tho God only knows I'm hollow inside.