breakup (Remove filter)
Just A Man
a dream of mine came true
as I lay next to you
losing my worries in the wind
little did I know
I had naught to show
from the heart I was eager to win
as I carried on
in blinded pursuit
my path lit by your auburn eyes
I lost myself there
in your hands and your hair
waiting for my doubts to die
now left here I am
to think of what was
and ...
Monday 17th April 2023 5:30 am
Love
When you looked me in the eyes, I wanted to feel your love
To feel the love that you said, was gone
I wanted to believe with all my heart that you would come back...
I wanted to believe that I could be enough
I wanted to believe that we could grow together but the truth is, it was all an illusion created by a stubborn heart,
Instead, I let you close and you hurt me, broke me, and ra...
Friday 22nd July 2022 2:57 am
The Boy Who Never Wanted To Grow Up
29.09.21
You won’t go to therapy
Your clothes everywhere
It is because your Daddy never cared?
Run away from your problems
Change friends all the time
Is that why you smoke weed all the time?
Sheets unwashed
And wine every day
No wonder you pushed all your friends away
Video games are a way of life
Abandoning problems
like it depends on...
Wednesday 29th September 2021 1:43 pm
i trusted you.
that year we met, i trusted you.
i believed you liked me for who me and wanted to be friends.
but you didn't. it was all a lie.
you wanted to be friends just to get inside.
i confided in you and listened to all your problems.
always there to brighten your day.
yet, you would always go back to her.
i was your back up---someone to fill the void.
a void so deep and ...
Tuesday 13th July 2021 5:05 am
Mr. Bad.
You pushed me away,
And now I am going to live my own life
Right under your nose.
And I hope that you notice every smile
That someone else makes me laugh.
I am going to be free of your demons.
I am going to laugh every time I see you,
And be so pleased that I
Saw the worst bits before we were married,
Like once you said we would be.
Remember that?
Oh my poor poor Mr Misunderstood.
Yo...
Friday 18th June 2021 2:25 pm
Acknowledgement
The only thing I knew was pain,
And you showed me what love was.
All I had experienced was crude desire,
And you wanted me like no-one else
Ever had.
I'd burnt my faith,
And then the ashes of my faith, away.
And still it felt safe to believe you.
Any sadness I had,
I know was only brought with me.
It was my only possession, still,
You convinced me to throw it away.
How did those arms, ...
Tuesday 15th June 2021 7:55 am
Enough!
Let me hold, once more
That special place.
Can't I one more time curl within your embrace?
Or how shall I comprehend
Your emotions,
Suddenly so different from my own?
Suddeness? What suddeness is this,
That many months existed?
Disbelief? What disbelief can live
Inside this certain knowledge?
Enough?
Or shall I let false words
Echo around my mind another moment?
Give me back that ...
Saturday 12th June 2021 2:04 pm
Heart Didn't Mind
All those things love didn't care about
Are much more relevant when,
Tossed back,
No longer wanted,
Life makes you decide again
Whether to go on believing.
The flaws
That didn't spoil the diamond on the ring,
May add up worth considering,
When,
Fallen out,
You have the chance to fit a different gem.
All the problems love didn't care about
May make it not worth the fight,
When lo...
Friday 11th June 2021 11:44 am
Let the Music Play
we were an unsinkable ship,
built to sustain any injury
thrown our way, or so we said.
cast into the dark,
yet illuminated with infinite possibilities.
suddenly slipping through our fingers
the bitter cold quickly rushed in,
and the music played on.
while the chaos surrounded us
and the children were tucked safely in their bed,
the music played on.
while prayers were whispered,
...
Tuesday 25th May 2021 4:34 pm
The Queries of a Heart that is Torn
I feel it itching under my skin
clawing away deep inside
I thought i could be myself around you
now i am just sorry that I ever tried
I find myself bending over backwards for you
trying to leap through these flaming hoops
Still, it isn't a choice that you choose
For that wouldn't ever, benefit you
We're winding down this endless road
neither of us can find any hope.
Still we hold ont...
Sunday 31st January 2021 1:44 am
Tips for a clean breakup
First, fumigate
Your cell walls fresh-free
of their love.
Second.
Odious
poison barbed
bitter nothings
must be dumbly plucked from each pink pore,
thrown to landfill,
labelled 'Hazardous biowaste, may cause hideous burns'.
Third, make re-chaste your newly bleach-scoured bone and blotted clean flesh
with a sore blessing of Domestos and clov...
Saturday 9th January 2021 2:05 pm
justified paranoia
Always on guard of the love you claimed was ours
as I looked up at the stars
I realized I was holding onto too hard
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:39 pm
Letting go of what’s died
You were never mine
Quick witted but with a weak spine
Your actions are predicted
conditional love that’s bound to die in time
How you act has me sickened and I refuse to loose my mind
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:33 pm
digging your own grave
I hope you’re haunted by the love you lost in the chaos you twisted and turned
I’ll be the dove hanging onto the wire you burned
In the quiet you conjure up all the spirits who will never return
As I hold onto empty words
How you tortured me in this chapter
Cheers to your happy never after
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:29 pm
illusion
I would always seek refuge in you
But you could never love me the way I wanted you to
Wednesday 25th November 2020 3:26 pm
Why
Why did this happen?
Why did we go a drought?
Why the hell did you hurt me?
Why the heck didn’t I say ouch?
Why didn’t you just tell me you hated the way I laugh?
Why couldn’t I tell you I hated you because you cheated in the past?
Why did you talk to me like a dumb dog?
Why didn’t I tell you that your pride was too strong?
Why didn’t you say, “ I never ...
Wednesday 21st October 2020 3:54 pm
Truth
The hard part about all this is that you already found new love
You decided she was better than me that she is enough
The words you said, "to infinity and beyond" we're all a lie and you left me when all I ever wanted was compassion,understanding, and love
But the day you walked out, I learned the truth about life.
I learned that the only person that could make me strong was God
He...
Friday 21st August 2020 4:11 pm
Our Story is Done
I stand in front of a crowd
I’ve prepared for this night
I speak of you, us
I sing of you
The stories describe how we loved
And then how you left,
How your ghost tormented me
And left my heart a wreck
I’m done crying over you
And hurting
Over and over again
Our story is done
Finally at night
My peace has come
Thursday 26th March 2020 5:15 am
the things you left
You left me
half-full plant pot ashtrays, old mugs of midnight teas, a jacket you spent too much on, the dregs from cheap red wine, rolled up train tickets, desecrated baggies,
and a dent on your side of the bed.
Tuesday 12th November 2019 11:00 pm
The Favor
Thank you for
the favor
of pushing me away.
For helping me see
the price of loving you
is too high to pay.
For saving me
a life of heartbreak,
torment, and dismay.
For all the things
you wanted to,
but didn’t say.
For apathy
as I go
my own way.
I hope to repay
the favor
someday.
# # #
Wednesday 30th October 2019 3:12 am
The Upside Down Girl
Her skin is pale in the early evening
hanging upside down
from the foot of an unmade bed
feeling weightless
watching the world beyond the window
where Autumn rain falls upward
and lights divide
No appetite in this dark room
no appetite for days
friends all kept at bay
no rubber masks, just patches of ice
no fireworks, only fallen leaves collecting
passing headlights flood the room
t...
Thursday 12th September 2019 11:01 am
Missed Something
I've tried to write this
Fifty times over
Each time I get closer
But somehow still miss
I miss something
In what I want you to know
I miss something
In saying I don't want to let go
If this is goodbye
Then say it now
I'll give up the fight
I'll let you walk out
And forever
I'll miss
You
I've loved you like no other
I've never held...
Tuesday 25th June 2019 2:44 am
Dear Ezra Bebot,
The first time I saw you, your mouth held no words.
I would take you out and watch you marvel at the birds.
Your awkward waddle would bring me smiles.
There was peace in my life holding you as we walked for miles.
The screaming, the crying, the testing,
The laughing, the hugging, the learning.
As I helped you grow, and loved every moment.
Even the ones that involved your excrement.
Saturday 13th April 2019 9:19 pm
I do not get it
I do not get it when they say,
We will not make it one day,
I do not get it, when they laugh,
On us and on our scars
I do not get it when they do not believe us,
How crazily can this world suck?
I cannot express the pain in words,
Let’s run because we seem cursed
Let’s run away from the chains of pain,
Let’s run away where we can dance in rain,
Let’s run as ...
Monday 21st January 2019 8:38 am
Another Train Song
Standing on the platform, waving goodbye to yesterday’s train.
Perhaps you wanted to feel you had a little bit of control.
You’re saying you hope that train never comes back again.
A peripatetic pretense helps to ease the pain.
It’s a phantom journey, but no one has to know.
Standing on the platform, waving goodbye to yesterday’s train.
You collected yourself, stood erect, and hoped to ...
Monday 17th December 2018 10:10 am
I'm in the gap
I think I hung myself in your tears
Yeah, the other day I realised
One noose, one tear drop - same shape.
I choked on the salt of it
eternally thirsty now
When they fell from your eyes
they looked like showers of broken glass
How I wished I could have swallowed that instead
I think that would hurt less
I’ve got 6 bruises, 7 cuts, 3 scars
I’m still counting.
But why...
Sunday 11th February 2018 2:21 am
remembering love
I still remember the first time we made love,
It was simple and easy, with your weight above.
I remember expecting pain and feeling none,
I remember biting my lip when we were done.
It was so long ago, half a decade gone by,
But it still keeps me warm when you're not by my side.
Perhaps it's wrong I know I ought to move on,
But how do you stop an oncoming storm.
I still wis...
Tuesday 9th May 2017 2:26 pm
hollow inside
Always I think of you,
I don't know why I do.
It opens doors I cannot close,
I feel adrift in the chaos.
Each time I look inside of me,
Searching for something to hold to my heart.
A memory of pain or fight or slight,
So I can say it's good we're apart.
I find nothing, there is nothing to find
You were good to me, you treated me right.
I'm lost and lonely I now need ...
Tuesday 9th May 2017 1:44 pm
WORDS
Where were the words
why couldn't we talk
So much I wanted to say
but the words got caught in my throat
---
Why did the magnet push us apart
when there were words to say
---
Could it be different at a different time
was it just the timing
I don't know
---
So awkward
So off beat
---
We couldn't get the timing
of the dance
---
Yet the magnet d...
Friday 9th December 2016 3:21 am
Guarded Walls
Unguarded
Bombarded
Quick! Hurry!
Retreat!
Before she sees
Build up a wall
Be careful not to fall
Its just too much to bare
Yes, I know its unfair
But I can't
I just.....
I can't!
If I were to take a wrong turn
If I were to get burned
I don't think I could go on
See, I thought I had the one
Really, truly
She hurt me brutally
I could have sworn...
Monday 26th October 2015 11:14 pm
All
Chaining smoking til my lungs are done, Chest pain come not sure if I can make it Trying to take this path to the dream I envisioned, Can't make the right decision I bailed now my life is in shambles I'm out here in socal dreaming of the bay, Looking for a way to construct these abstract thoughts, Onto the pad wanting it bad but finding it hard to make the ink spill, Attempting to leav...
Sunday 15th March 2015 9:06 pm
Dear Facebook
A little poem that is very much not in my usual style!
Dear Facebook,
We have known each other a long time now,
and whilst I know you will always be there for me,
it is with a heavy heart that I must tell you the following:
We can no longer be together.
It’s not you.
It’s me.
Honestly.
I find I can’t keep away from you,
and I have so much work to do t...
Thursday 27th September 2012 5:51 pm
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