Strangled Silence

I have a friend in Russia.

We send each other messages.

That say nothing.

His father is a poet.

No news, only greetings are exchanged.

We long to converse freely.

But he lives in fear.

I say nothing of consequence.

To protect him.

Silence stands in our way.

We are afraid to speak openly.

He lives under a dictatorship.

I live with it as ...

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Image: Reciting at 1 in 12 Club Bradford on the last day of National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo), a creative writing project held every April, where particpants attempt to write a poem a  day for one month. NaPoWriMo coincides with National Poetry Month in America and Canada.  There is no limit to the poems write as many as you want, and a subject of your choice. 

29.04.23 -194:1...

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As I wend my unhurried English way in the direction of the personal marker of my 80th birthday, 

the words of my fellow countryfolk come to mind with increasing relevance and resonance.

The lament from Charles Lamb leads the way:

"Where are they gone, the old familiar faces?"

How readily those words bring to mind family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances who are no

longer with u...

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‘How many of you live here?’

The man with the clipboard was asking.

Numbers are not my strong point

And I get a bit tongue-tied.

I reply, in a roundabout way:

‘Well, some, here and there;

Not many now;

Fewer than there used to be.’

‘Is that the best you can do?’

He snapped, looking peeved.

I slope off, inadequate,

Fumblingly imprecise.

Turning round, I see ...

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It always happens, if I'm left alone.
To bouts of madness, I am prone.
Not sure, what or who is to blame.
I'd be ok, if  only I heard my name.

I spiral into darkness, out of control.
I doubt my worth, question my role.
Unconcerned, the world watches on.
Tormented voices, I wish be gone.

Twisted visions, have no right to stay.
If they heard my name, they'd go away.
I call it out to ...

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Yesterday

I opened the windows of my room with the night

I let in the stars and slept in their time

    I knew their waning

When I awoke

My pillow was flattened with the weight of their time

My mind was present in the immensity of their span

    I knew their past now

Today

I curtained the new day in my room with the dawn

I breathed in time and dreamed of the...

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As we look at our society,
We'll see one that creates most anxiety.
It's one that we should all despise.
It is one which no-one should disguise.

It is a bully - as they bring distress,
Turning good people's minds into a mess.
To destroy confidence is their aim.
Then after that they'll just do the same.

For victims they will always seek,
Searching for those who seem weak.
But for what...

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I've just been watching a heart-rendingly sad documentary about the American Civil War, and its aftermath.

It's a disgrace to the memory of the fallen, that some of our politicians deliberately and repeatedly use language which could lead to the repetition of such horrors.

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All alone inside my head
Nothing to remember
Nothing to look forward to 
Nothing to be said.
Up early on this grey May day.
My friends are silhouettes
Nothing to remember
Nothing to forget
Nothing to regret.
I am the ghost of myself
Already at 07.13am
As the BBC news comes on
I'm planning to be dead.
I drink my tea shakily - 
from the last night's booze -
Sit at my desk in this stra...

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Amazing

     Where have the previous thirteen years ran to?

  That day when my wife and I tended our first born

is now some thirteen years away,

     where is it those thirteen years are now hiding?

     Our Son Wyatt be as tall as a ships mast,

and by knowing his empath, his mast boasts full

sail of seas where only a need for sleep can

     interrupt his adv...

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a machine is greater than a machine
the greater the inspiration,the greater the admiration
the greater the machine,the greater the inspiration
the greater the body,the greater the machine
the greater the body,the greater the soul
greatness is richer than greatness
greatness is richer than the mind,body,and soul

rich is richer than greatness
rich is richer than inspiration
light is riche...

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Mi firstest poems wa’ yonks ago;

I’ve lost ’em (God be thankst!);

Full o’ trite naivety

An’ post-pubescent angst.

Some of them’s political

(I put the world to rights)

I solved starvation on mi own -

Right On! An’ Outta Sight!

I took to wearin’ neckerchiefs

As Byron could ‘ave once;

It din’t impress mi granddad -

It made me look a ponce.

...

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Settling into the sigh

of the morning quiet,

alone with the air and the hum of home,

peace descends like a soft mist,

a spider-web blanket of light,

an embrace of spirit wrapping 

all that is --

of which I am but a whisper of breath.

Gratitude dances on the edges of my heart,

softening the piercings of everyday sorrows.

This life is a gift

'tis true,

but its end...

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She was a ruddy-faced nun, banished to a convent to cure her habit of singing cheeky songs,
where she met Sister Superiorer McPeake, who saw in her a talent for musical theatre,
and turned a blind eye so the novice could sneak out at night to star in the Rocky Horror Show.

But one night, sobbing in the street, because she’d realised that
Christ was her only true love, she gazed at the stars ...

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A shining stone on the horizon.

In a stunning world, it does it’s bit.

You may find it surprising,

This beauty is just shit.

Or guano to be more correct,

Though crap it is to most.

It beckons me to come inspect,

Though I’d rather not get close. 

It catches me slumped in blue,

When chuckles are more sparse. 

Cheers me to think that such a view

Came from ma...

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Mists lift from the lake
     it's found to be a mirror
you find it good to bow your head
     for low branches
like crossing a threshold
     entering a magic circle
instantly, on the path
     I dare say any path
the lord, a handful
     appears before you
a robin redbreast
     who'll weigh your soul
offer safe passage
     just as long as
          you know who's boss
 

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your friends go to the movies and don't invite you

and you've never kissed a girl

never gone to a party

or drank beer

and you begin to wonder

why you lie awake

awash in hopes and dreams

when you could simply disappear

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You pulled me into your orbit

when I needed your help

and so, I made you my centre 

to centre myself

That was my first mistake

I looked inside you

for places where I could hide

I hoped to run from reality

into the delusions of your mind

I was happy to believe you were one of a kind

chuffed upon chuffed that you were mine

and I felt adored

grateful to m...

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Clare, the girl with gold ringlets and face made from porcelain

A pathetic young thing

Roses for cheeks

Eyes blue from the sky

A heart full of gold

Stories yet to unfold

The abandoned child

Caught up in darkness

The price paid by sin

The unspeakable one

She’s the girl with the curse

Her birthright is madness

She’s the daughter of Ann

She was bo...

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For some years now I have walked past her window,

She is possibly a widow,

Through the pane I witness pain or so would seem the way,

As she sits in the same slumped position each and every day,

Within a room dawned with decoration of the past,

The framed and pictured memories on the shelves are vast,

Something deep within me wants to reach out even more,

To talk to sit to list...

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Yesterday it rained like the sky

Held all the sorrows of the world

And had finally released them

Onto the black pavement 

How could sorrow be so beautiful?

The raindrops hit the ground and I felt

Like the world exists so that we may view 

The beauty that is rain and sky and clouds

I stepped out into the pouring tears

And could feel the water cling to me

Like...

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Now that I'm completely lost I've no more desire to return. Im deeply wrought with guilt that it seems I've forgotten the way home- But home was never a place anyhow, it was merely a state of mind and for now it's somewhere I can no longer find. 

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lonely America
 
I wanna put my arms around you 
before you reach for yours 

I wanna kiss you scandalously 
I wanna know how your day's been 

before you collapse into 
your familiar patterns 

of hate 
and sugar addiction 

I’m listening 
I’m here 

you know how to 
touch me

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8 Billion

Who will win ?

Murderous mankind

Super species   

Sweep all before

Leave a wasteland behind

10 Biblical plagues have nothing on us

A billion locusts , a drop in the ocean.

What will stop us?

War, disease, drought, fire , greed , fear ,?

Natures weapons blunt and useless 

Against the tide of filth we call mankind

Scoured and hollowed 

Carcasses of th...

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The scientist, one of a team tending to the Large Collider,
a member of a profession not known for poetry,
takes pages and pages of notes from the latest experiments
studying the accelerated particles of neutrons and protons.
Trying to understand the secrets of the smallest parts
of the natural world, and how they might behave in the air around us.

Within his journal, filled with mathemati...

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Its size

and its sinews,

a walk-around

of my thoughts.

I'm looking-

seeking,

the oblivion

of the sheltered sun.

Words and image by Thomas Carroll

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Sometimes a simple hello

Is a lesson waiting to happen

Since I'm ignorant about the future

I said a few extra words

You were so beautiful and divine

Delicious like the summer sun

I had to know your name 

Hello was not enough

One word changed my world

One word sealed the deal

Shortly, my smile shifted to tears

My worth diminished as well

You’re a test I was desig...

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saturday fell silent in the morning,

the tea ran down your shirt,

and seconds on the minute do pass by,

don't hear the sirens calling,

don't be besides crying,

open in the midnight journey of fleeting mesmeray.

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A thin shaft of majestic sunlight

dances across the harbours contained waves

As if highlighting each crest in gold leaf 

Men with muscled arms and sturdier backs

load small boats, transporting large chests of fine silks

Precious stone, spices, and polished gold

Others stand motionless on the fine-marbled quay, 

ready to glimpse the regal retinue

Overhead, dawn clouds s...

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Let me peek into your mind

I wonder what delights I'll find?

All manner of things, both sweet & sour

Such tasty morsels to devour! 

Love & Grief in all their sorrow 

I'll gobble 'em down, like there's no tomorrow!

Your secrets, kept so close to chest

I'll hang to cure 'till at their best!

I cross my heart, I'll never tell

Even at the toll of your death knell!

I'l...

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Gracious as her title
God Blessed the earth with this noble warrior by name
Like oxygen to survive she is vital
Unique lady unlike any other
For Jane we are blessed Bright mother
Her heart dances and sings
Fine cut like a diamond
As golden as her rings
This lady is flamboyant as true as her beauty
She oozes style
Eyes sparkling like stars I see her soul in her smile
She cares and loves
...

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A small boy running, but not for his life,

as all can see in his fearless smile

and the sense of freedom

that lights his eyes. This is the day

he will always remember,

important only because of an errand

and the small coin he didn’t drop,

holding it up on tiptoes

across the counter of a baker’s shop,

disregarding for once

the glass-fronted shelves of...

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Kings and queens are all, it seems
We need to keep food on our plate
Kings and queens and Heinz Baked Beans*
And golden carriages of state

Kings and queens are all, it seems
We need to keep us warm and fed
Kings and queens and Heinz Baked Beans
And Tory Warburtons sliced bread**

So, boo to cost of living crisis
Boo to rising staple prices
Hurrah for Charlie and Camilla
Beans on toas...

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He waits

unlike most

and searches

through the muck

through the dirt and the dust,

the nails and worms

He waits 

for a glimpse of success

a meal for his minutes spent

on the water’s edge

a reward

for his tireless toil

He waits

as his bucket fills

alongside his hope

then empties

leaving his spirits all the same

For his catch does not ...

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I would have been a Lion

Preys would have perished

Shaping me into the King.

I would have been a snake

Hunted for mystical beliefs

Hissed to life by holly man.

Now that I am a living man

Ambulating land for survival

What should my sins be?

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let me kiss you 
below the depths 
touched by simmering rays
crashing like waves onto your bronzing skin
on a sunny day 

may ravenous fangs 
sink into the nape of your neck 
holding back the pining force 
of seven hundred clamping bear-traps 

starving to death for your tomb of life 
     la petit mort // la petit mort 
an afterlife womb 
  where heaven & hell mix
         craving ...

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I hold my soul like a candlestick,

Without light, leading me blindly through the darkness, 

I stumble and fall

While collecting scars like the medals of a general's jacket,

I ground my base at the bottom of a valley,

As I watch the fires of the world chase through the trees

Glittering the skies with ash, the darkness hides my form.

Although from such treachery, a spark finds t...

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(Music: Nagorno Mist - Vusal Zeinalov)

let me go

into a nothingness

staged out

like a passing thought

in a mind rushing to express

a solitude

scaled up

to an altitude 

Icarian

trying to gaze

at the shine of that peak

unreachable

lost to the platitudes

of today

and maybe tomorrow

lost to perfection found in trash bins

and madness imagined

but mi...

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I want you to be

The one you used to be

Bright and fresh

And forever drinking tea

I want you back again

The one you used to be

Bright and bold

I want you back with me

It breaks my heart to see you now

Not the one you used to be

Now your thoughts are dulled with age

I wish I could set you free

I’ll always remember you as you were

The one you use...

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Snow in Spring

The buds on trees, once ready to bloom,
Are now weighed down in icy despair.
Deserted nests, birds are silenced in doom
Awaiting the spring sun's fair share.

Snow in Spring is a paradox of sorts,
A clash of seasons to nature's surprise.
leaving the path frozen the news reports
As winter's remnants refuse to demise.

The chill in the air, a bitter reminder,
That even i...

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Taking a path, I'd seldom trod,

stumbling over rocks and logs,

a clumsy sod.

Wandering lonely, no way through,

exits barred by swollen streams,

and fallen yews.

Plagued by frustration and by doubt,

seeking solutions in a pathless wood,

with no way out.

I looked to the sky to see what to do,

Beseeching heaven, as the woods closed in,

and I didn't have...

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Just a second is all it would take for you to leave this table.

It never gets better, seeing the amount of empty chairs grow.

Still, I remain seated at the table, glued to my chair.

Unable to do anything but watch with pain in my heart, 

as yet another one leaves me alone here.

But what can I do?

Even an iceberg desperately yearns for warmth,

climbing to the sun, knowing it wi...

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Its a hard feeling to always be seen but never be heard.

Eveyone knows AJ but no one can tell you Im a third.

I have three favorite colors black white and baby blue.

Ive had a wife, baby moma, one true love, none of them can give you one color too.

Its like Im just an idea to all who claim to know me.

And no one every gives me the chance to show who and what I really could be.

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Today is my birthday

23rd of April 

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Dusty shadows, the complexity of a complaint, the fear of becoming great, but I couldn’t because.., maybe I’ll do it later, familiar words, a nest don’t make the birds, you can’t spot the bullshit when walking high pastures, we are trying to explore this terra damnata, I notice flora watering her plants by her majestic garden, an admirable process, the balance is the gift, make sure your flowers g...

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Where do you even start? My ex laugh out loud! He's  the biggest loser I could ever think of now. Looking back at it.... Almost 40 busing tables cleaning tables to make a dollar no aspirations no desires no dreams, no wants and needs out of life except for what people can do for him versus what he can do for the people? why do you love someone so much? what is it about that person that makes you l...

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My Ticket Out

Friendships once delicious

Now turned stale

Intimacy— which was invigorating

Now holding the same energy and delivery

Of a sickly snail

Interests— previously exciting

That are no longer fun

A place that felt like home

Has become a web 

Thats overspun

When before

You would have fought to stay

Now you have the compulsion

To escape and...

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Sunlight, fresh air, and flowers blooming, I’m sitting in the ground of my mind recalling our first glance. You wore gray as my heart; I wore blue as your eyes. I never imagined this would be the ending of me. I’d never thought I would find my Achilles heel in dark times. Eyes that would change how the river flows. I told myself I would be a barren land for evermore, but the light in your smile ma...

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Mr Brian

According to him 

there were only three forces -

push, pull, and as I 

put my hand up and told him -

twist. I was sure 

there was a fourth one - bend,

but I was too shy to say that. 

He knew the art department

would disagree with him 

about the third primary colour

being green and not yellow, 

but about the colours 

of the rainbow, or the spectr...

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How long have you been in me ?

You who loiter and linger 

Shattering all my dreams 

 Awating all the ordeals

Turning my bones weak 

Making my spirit bleak 

For iam growing lazy 

And admiring a life; cozy 

Forcing my forfeit to flourish 

And my serendipity to vanish 

They said idleness is destructive 

Want to undo my follies and be construct...

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