Someone please bring me the manager of the working class

Some of them have stopped doing exactly what I asked

And they’re forming picket lines that other people won’t pass

So, someone please bring me the manager of the working class

Someone please bring me the manager of the working class

Richard Madeley on the telly said it was someone called Marx

But when I ask who’s in ch...

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The King of Lockdown raised a glass

A toast to ghosts of empires past

His gaze steadfast upon the cast

Of gathered acolytes, his class

And scenes they would deny

The grape and grain of government

Authors of instruction meant

For others, never their intent

Without consent of votes once lent

Ever to comply

The King of Lockdown, slovenly

Dismissive of discov...

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There’s a gender-neutral toilet in our house
Like the one on a plane
And the one on a train
Like getting caught short in the woods in the rain.

There’s a gender-neutral toilet in our house
So politically correct
What did you expect
One or more types from which to select?

There’s a gender-neutral toilet in our house
How very outré
To piss that way
What would the second world war gene...

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Armchair generals
Firing other people’s bullets
With other people’s sons
Express sympathy
With the refugee
Who would be welcome here
If they weren’t such a risk to national insecurity
And Lincolnshire is full, says Leigh
Even if they’re willing to pick fruit

What has Liz’s dressing-up box
Got for us today?
Fighter pilot? Tank commander?
Recruiter for La Légion étrangère?
She’s unlik...

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When the cut and thrust of politics is real

When the cut and paste apologies are fake

When facts matter less than what you feel

And truth and lies are given equal weight

When “I get it” and “I’ll fix it” are a sham

When extremists are emboldened by your act

When you genuinely couldn’t give a damn

And your policy does nothing but distract

When you use your privileg...

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If it’s 5-1 down at half-time
And one minute to midnight,
Then this metaphorical football match
Is not in Glasgow tonight.
It’s in Russia or Malaysia
Or elsewhere in Asia
Or Western Australia.
And now he’s introduced a Bond-style doomsday device
Are you guessing his advice
Is doomed to failure?
Because COP Number One didn’t get it done,
Nor did COP Number Two (’96 in Geneva).
The Kyoto...

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