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Rites of Passage

At weddings and funerals, a whole raft

of feelings are borrowed or assumed,

to conform with the prevailing winds.

Joy and sadness require different kinds,

of studied poses and adopted attitudes,

before the alcohol can be consumed.

 

My emotions are prudently overlaid,

corresponding to the needs of the time.

I search inside for the right response,

adopting the style to make you smile,

or a funereal air to take you down,

and carve a frown upon your brow!

Someone may be noticing me now!

 

I focus in. I concentrate hard.

Hard enough to warrant my Equity card!

Hot blood turns cold, and starts congealing,

I play my part. I repress true feelings.

The rites of passage are rare, indeed,

as scarce as planets in the evening sky,

which can move me to authentic laughter,

or genuinely make me cry.

◄ The Dare Devil Poet

Diminishing Scales ►

Comments

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John Botterill

Thu 20th Apr 2023 20:59

Thanks so much , Stephen, especially for the Larkin reference, for as you know, I am a fan!
The poem stemmed from a passing thought at my dad's funeral, 36 years ago, 'Am I showing sufficient, obvious grief?'
Grief, like justice, has to be seen to be done!
I like the major's line, too 😂

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Stephen Gospage

Thu 20th Apr 2023 17:51

A superb, rather Larkinesque poem, John. I really enjoyed it. It's true that dress codes are more relaxed at funerals but have attitudes changed? I remember the Major in Fawlty Towers:

Major: 'I'm going to a memorial service, Fawlty'.
Basil: 'Tie's a bit bright, isn't it, Major?'
Major: 'Oh, I didn't like the chap,'

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John Botterill

Thu 20th Apr 2023 14:49

Thanks so much, Holden and Keith. Really valued and appreciated your comments. My wife says the poem flies in the face of how I actually respond at these events. I was trying to get to the truth but who knows where the truth really lies amongst so much social conditioning?
Thanks Nigel and Stephen A for the likes. 😀

Holden Moncrieff

Wed 19th Apr 2023 21:01

Extremely truthful and written with flair, John! Every stanza is excellent! 😎

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keith jeffries

Wed 19th Apr 2023 18:21

A poem which describes our outward demeanour when in certain situations. It is as if we are required to behave in a certain manner. This has often troubled me as it is false and conjured up to meet the occasion and lacking in any true emotion. Should we not be so conformist and act naturally? The poem is well written and true. However, it focuses on the Rites of Passage rather than every day feelings and how we are when in public view.
I enjoyed this and thank you.
Keith

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