The Final Goodbye. 

I soon came to imagine her as a butterfly
An ethereal beauty whose brief visits
Would lead to tearful departures, leaving me to wonder if this was the final goodbye

My mind became obsessed with the stolen days where she would appear, as if by magic
Followed by the long, wistful hours
Of her absence

Thoughts would drift to tragedy
Surely she would be here if she co...

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Home. 

The only home I ever truly had
Lays beneath the skin and bones I was born with
I’ve wasted so much time
Filling bricks and mortar
With memories and bric a brac

I’ve held onto things that no longer served me
Paid money for memorabilia left to gather dust
My hands have scrubbed and screamed
At the things I once held dear

My cupboards bulged with clothes
Never worn
Books neve...

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Dust. 

I’m not lonely in an empty room kinda way
I don’t feel alone because there is no love
Not even because I feel misunderstood

The loneliness I feel eats my bones
It’s nothing to do with my physical home
Home is full of everything I need
Yet, still I bleed

My blood seeps into every hour that I breathe
No suture can stem the flow of torture
That floods my veins

My eyes weep t...

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I cannot quiet the voices
Anymore than I can command the sea
I do not write to please you
I simply hold the pen
And watch as it sets my soul free

I did not choose to be an artist
Art chose to live in me
It’s a symbiotic friendship
And the succubus of poetry
That will not let me be

There can be no separation
It’s a marriage made for life
For better or for worse
I am forced to write...

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She loved

She tried

She believed

But who was she?

Was she the victim

The survivor

The daydreamer

Or just an misunderstood

Queen?

She knew there was no shape

To grief

No weight in tears

No depth to the smile

From a stranger

She knew she left

An echo

In the hearts

That she touched

But there were no shadows

Only light

Not...

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The problem with sitting on a cloud

Is that it has a tendency to evaporate

Leaving you to tumble rather unceremoniously—

This indeed 

Is something one has to discover

For oneself

Perhaps the birds have known

Since the beginning of time—

Understanding how to enjoy the clouds

Without clinging onto them

For safety is surely admirable

Contemplation of bird be...

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Do not disturb the dust 

There is value to be found

In the lightest of touch

The air should only

Slightly shimmer

If your breath dares disturb

The bird

Or your footsteps wound

The earth

All is lost

Pay attention to the moon

She is friends with starlight

Her secrets must be kept

Lest she lose her glimmer

You will not find a confidante 

In ...

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I will write today

Not because of you

But in spite of you

Just so you know

You didn’t get your way

I will write about success 

Survival

And all the rest

I will share secrets

With the page

And together we will age

We shall meld into one

My page and I

So that when I die

There will be evidence

My truth

Will be my only defence

I did not...

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Reinvention. 

In the corner stands my father

Shuffling in the shadows

The scent of tobacco stains the air

And he chuckles without a care

On the sofa sits my mother

Swift hands collecting flowers

Her smile outshines the sun

Her worries, they’ve all gone

On the staircase leans my brother

He is gazing at his mother

And grinning at my father

They seem...

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Shall We? 

Shall we put the kettle on

Shall we make a cup of tea

Would you like to watch our favourite film ~

We could snuggle on our old settee

Shall we light the open fire

Should we scatter cushions on the floor

Should we cuddle up with our smelly dog

And live what our hearts most desire

Can we just have an early night

And read each other poetry

´T...

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Wolf Moon

Slow is the night stretching out before my blue eyes

The lily is gasping as she swallows the light

And softly, so softly, I tip-toe into the snow

In search of the wolf moon to soothe my soul

Lost little girl deep in the woods

Finds friendship and peace beneath the old wisened tree

Whispering winds caressing the back of her knees

Wolf moon, oh, ...

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A Thousand Times and More. 

I’ve forgiven you a thousand times
Myself a thousand more
These scars do not belong to me
They’ve been cast along the shore

I’ve heard it’s already written
They say true love is destined
We were born with our lover’s name
Carved into our skin

The moon will always
Cast it’s light
On lovers meant to be
But there’s a blind spot in the moonlight

And it’...

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I am woman 

I am child 

I am mother

I’m a lover 

I’m a whore

I’m a nun

I am pure

And I am evil

I am the one you

Love to love

I’m the one you choose

To hate

I am the one who

Cuts you deep

I am the one that

Heals your scars

I’m the woman

Of your dreams

I’m the one

Who tears you at the seams

I am woman

I am lover

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Cry, Annie, cry!

Cold in the grave full of secrets watered in pain

I wonder do they see you as I see the woman

Named Annie, birthed from the stomach of a starved lioness

Cry, Annie, cry

Scream out your suffering to a world asking why?

No longer a place where your anguish is misunderstood

Annie

Did your tears stop

On the day that you died?

Clare Kinnaird...

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The Unravelling. 

You were just one moment

But it felt like a lifetime

To me

One stitch in a tapestry

That unravelled 

Without you there

Now I carry you

Like a mist

That cannot be grasped

Always slipping away

While clouding my vision

Of tomorrow 

Your absence weighting my feet

In memories

Of what could have been

I blink ...

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And if I never met you.

And if I never met you

I wonder, would this day still wrap around me

In a thousand shades of grey?

Perhaps the tender raindrops 

Would never have had a reason to settle in this place.

And if I never met you

I guess I’d still believe the world was cruel

I’d see shadows instead of rainbows

Or suffocate in clouds

As they smothered skies ...

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Cornwall in January. 

Church bells ringing through the rain

Seagull perched upon the highest rooftop

Blackbirds skating through the sky

Clouds sobbing against my windowpane

Chimney tops spluttering like an old man in pain

A congregation of little houses huddled undercover of black slate

Jostling for a view of the sea

Blotted out by a sheet of grey—

This is...

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Dear blackbird
Let me have a feather from your wing
It will become my quill
In exchange I will sit silently
And listen to you sing

Take my wickedness
In your little yellow beak
Hold it as a stone
Before dropping it into the lake
At the break of dawn

Soar in circles
Tracing the ripples
Until you become weak
Then return to me
So together we can sleep. 
Clare Kinnaird, 2024.

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Grandma
I’m going to make a camper van space rocket
We can paint it indigo
and violet

We can visit South America
Spain, and the moon!
We will fly to the sun
But don’t worry
We can put deflectors on it
So we won’t burn

We won’t need wheels
It will just transform
I will need a big tool box
Some metal and some
Paint that won’t peel

Grandma, do you want to help me?
We can paint t...

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The Poets are Lying. 

Why are poets writing
About October?
They talk about leaves
Turning

They mourn the loss of summer
And welcome autumn
As though time
Has moved on

They are lying
I know this to be true
Because I am still
In July

I am where you were
Before you were gone. 
C.K.23

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To behold the hills and gelid lakes

Bejewelled in winter pearls

Every field and wholesome berry

Adorned beneath an icy veil

To watch the trees disport themselves

Stretched out like swans in allongé  

Disrobed and unabashed

Lost in the face of the crystal moon

To catch the scent

Of the chiselled air and watch

As tumbling stars are formed

Is this the moment...

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Botticelli’s Dreams. 

He entered me like Spirit 
Landing on my heart
He blew my world apart
I loved him the daylight
I Loved him better in the dark

His velvet words
Soothed the jagged edges
I stood like Venus in the rain
Trembling as he possessed my veins

His passion filled my belly
With hurricanes and storms
I loved him ‘til I died
And rose like an angel
In Botticelli’s arms. 
...

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Botticelli’s Dreams. 

He entered me like Spirit 
Landing on my heart
He blew my world apart
I loved him the daylight
I Loved him better in the dark

His velvet words
Soothed the jagged edges
I stood like Venus in the rain
Trembling as he possessed my veins

His passion filled my belly
With hurricanes and storms
I loved him ‘til I died
And rose like an angel
In Botticelli’s arms. 
...

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Glue. 

I am no more than a blade of grass

Still,  I forgot how precious

The kiss from the morning dew

Could be

I thought myself above the fly

Even laughed at the suggestion

That I could die

One day, maybe …

Instead I just swatted the fly

And pissed on the grass

That grew just for me

Waiting for me to die

I imagined myself 

Bigger than t...

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My first ever attempt at a reverse nonet.  I hope I got it right  🙈🙈🙈   Thanks for the challenge, Graham Sherwood  🤗

A

Bright star

Sprinkles light

Upon us all

Awakening  souls

To the magic of love

Bringing hope to the weary

Open your hearts with gratitude

It’s time to embrace humanity.

Clare Kinnaird, 2024. 

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Sinners and Saints. 

They used the crucifix to spite me

Pouring whisky down my throat

They turned the holy Mary

Into the devil in disguise

They washed my mouth with soap

And they ravaged my young soul

There was a method in the madness

An erosion of innocence and hope

They bedded me with Jesus

And a noose around my neck

 I prayed to the lord

Our sa...

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Dozy Moon. 

We are making bread for the hungry

Raucous laughter is coming from the roof

It is shaking uncontrollably

Da says it’s just a storm

It’ll pass soon

There’ll be a dozy moon tonight

Best to stay home and sit

In the firelight

Sit tight

It’ll be a long night

At least we still have the floor

Under our feet

That should save us

From...

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Did You? 

Did you gaze into her eyes today

As your hand gently followed the curve of her spine

Did you push back the stray hair

That fell on her face

As you whispered softly

I am so glad that you’re mine

Did you see her?

Or did she simply become

Invisible

And now you are left wondering

Where she has gone. 

Clare Kinnaird, 2024. 

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Strange how your love you’s

Turned to I hate you’s

In the blink of a cheating eye 

Your head on the pillow

Filled with devious dreams

Of changing my name 

Before attempting resuscitation

Again

Strange how your lust

Turned to jealousy

Wrapped in endearments

And lies

So strange how you loved me

Only to hate me

But you loved me

So you wished...

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As the grace of age settles into all the parts of me

I begin to see life differently

Now, with the album almost full

Looking back is easy

My fingers trace the outlines of memories

While my mind fills the gaps that once lived in between

I watch the young girl in the frame

 -A frozen fragment of history-

Gazing out at me

Her eyes have changed

But her heart is ...

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A poem based on the true story of my mother’s life.   The poem explores issues surrounding mental health and the impact of being raised in the harsh world of industrial schools in the 1960s.  The repetitive use of her Christian name is deliberate and refers to the fact that on entering these schools, children would often be stripped of their names and assigned a number in it’s place. 
Some people...

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Her Name is Anne. 

The clock ticks so slowly
Mimicking the sound of the raindrops tapping gently on the window neatly settled into the greyness of the day

Walls still damp from the grief pounded into them by wailing mothers 
begin to close in
Pushing down with purpose, they land on my chest, where they sit 
stubbornly refusing to leave

Ghosts of the past emerge from the dust
Empty ar...

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Her Name is Anne. 

The clock ticks so slowly
Mimicking the sound of the raindrops tapping gently on the window settled neatly into the greyness of the day
Tick tock, drip drop

Walls still damp from the grief once pounded into them by wailing mothers 
begin to close in
Pushing down with purpose, they land on my chest, where they sit 
stubbornly refusing to leave

Ghosts of the past eme...

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Planting hope for tomorrow

Tulips, daffodils, and snowdrops

Hold hope for rebirth, friendship, and love

Courage, fertility, and positivity nestled deep within the heart of these unassuming 

Harbingers of change 

As the earth begins to drift into silence

The gardener becomes the soothsayer of brighter days

Nurturing the land; just like a mother

Soothing her pr...

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For so long you were the longest shadow

cast in the depths of winter

My frost bitten heart

hardened by the bitter taste

Of your name

You sat on the edge of my universe

Like a fleeting moment missed

Always just out of reach

And always silent

Your absence fell upon me like a snow blanket

stretching out into every corner of my world

Each hill I climbed with ...

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Masterpiece. 

He painted me just like all those masterpieces that had gone before

His brush, a wand, sprinkling lovers in the mist

The artist brought his muse to life

In a water coloured wish

In his world, I became Venus

I became The Kiss

He saw me as a butterfly

In a kaleidoscope of colour

I was a mermaid

Rising gracefully

From the overburdened sea

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Mosaic Heart. 

The interlace of me and you
Began long ago
Way back in the bygone years
Long before we exchanged tears

Through space and time
Pieces of you were falling
Shimmering softly in the atmosphere
Searching for a forever home

My heart was in pieces 
An unfinished mosaic
Waiting; wandering aimlessly
Unaware of the possibility

The possibility of you ~
Until the day our s...

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You are in the raindrops

Falling soft on autumn leaves

You are the wistful wind

Which I so desperately need

To help me breathe

I hear the river murmur

When my name flows from your lips

You are the bridge between the seasons

Of my life

T’es mon amour

Mon cœur

You are the scent of the forest floor

Rising in drifts of patchouli

To leave me wa...

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She didn’t really have flesh

No eyes

No heart

No bones

It was hard to believe

That she even existed

Sometimes it was easier

To imagine that her children

Fell from the sky

She never spoke

But her voice would get into your head

And she would say things

Like

I love you

Goodbye

You could search 

your own face

Maybe you could find her th...

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The Moon Fairy (Sapphire Queen) 

She came in the form of a Sapphire  Queen

The melancholic fairy of the moon

Her beauty gave her no joy

With the absence of her lover

Tarnishing her bloom

In the depths of night

The air would shiver at the haunting

Of her lament

No one could escape the pulsating vibration

Of her grief

The earth shuddered to the core

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The Red (Pink) Room. 

The red room was never really red

It was more a salmon pink

But no one ever wants to admit that they like the colour pink

Do they?

Anyway, the red room (which was really pink)

It was a special room

The kind of room that hugged you

Until you turned bright pink

It was a room without corners

It didn’t even really have a ceiling

It ...

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I don’t call them scars

I prefer to see them as badges of honour

For all the times I honoured myself

In the face of my attackers

Each time I was called upon

To defy their malice

And refused to accept their lies

I won a medal, which I pinned to my heart

Every tear to the fibre of my being is stitched together with a pin bearing the name of the battle fought and won

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I Will lie to You. 

If by chance we should ever meet
Don’t ask me how I am ~
I will lie to you

I could not bear to see your eyes
Should I ever tell you of my pain
You would only turn away
To never look at me again

Instead, just ask 
if I heard the birds sing ~
My heart will soar
And I will tell you
All about my morning

Ask me about my favourite flower
I will talk to you for h...

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I am leaving you for moonlight 

I have one last thing to say

Don’t look for me tomorrow

For I have gone away

You might catch me in the birdsong

It’s not really me

I won’t be in the sunshine

Or underneath a willow tree

I will be the last star shining

Brighter than the rest

I will be in the ripples

Of your memory

I am leaving you for moonlight

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My lover sleeps under the stars tonight

While I am cloaked in darkness

The cold room echoes silence 

And resentment

I am jealous of the moon

Looking down on him

Are they together?

Her all new and shiny

Washing his limbs in silver light

Him laid out like Perseus 

Awaiting Andromeda 

Leaving me as no more than a spectator 

Of something that was once mine

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Muse

I have read him a thousand times
He is a man who does not care for rhyme

Yet his words melt into one another
Like chocolat oozing over mountains
Or soft eggs meeting soldiers 
On a sleepy Sunday morning

I look for a reason
He tells me not to pander ~
The masses will never be happy
He says I should write what I know

Delve into my soul
Paint the flowers 
That in my garden g...

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Love doesn’t just stop loving
Love is eroded by the constant drip, drip, drip. 

The drip of neglect
The drip of withdrawal
The drip of rejection

Love holds on for as long as it can
Hoping and praying for it’s own survival 
Love will never abandon itself

Love will just fall
Into introspection
That is when love

Forgets
To 
Come 
Back

Leaving in search
Of another’s affection...

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When I was a tree

I stood for a hundred years

I just stood, and watched

And waited

I had no concerns

There were no desires, doubts

Or tears

I was a tree

And everybody loved me

As a tree, I felt my roots

Unfurling through the earth

My limbs stretched out 

As high as they could reach

My crown was gifted from the stars

I lived amongst my f...

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Lately. 

Lately,  I’ve been thinking
I’ve been reliving
Reminiscing 
Lately,  I’ve been thinking ~
I’ve been thinking
About forgiving

Lately, I’ve remembered
What it felt like
To walk those lonely roads
To be alone and cold
In early September

I remember it all
The first flight of early fall 
I’ve relived every moment
I’ve returned to the torment
I’ve relived it all

I won’t...

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Love doesn’t just stop loving
Love is eroded by the constant drip, drip, drip. 

The drip of neglect
The drip of withdrawal
The drip of rejection

Love holds on for as long as it can
Hoping and praying for it’s own survival 
Love will never abandon itself

Love will just fall
Into introspection
That is when love

Forgets
To 
Come 
Back

Leaving in search
Of another’s affe...

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