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Dark Cloud

A Dark Cloud
What am I doing here? I wonder,
making an advert for soap in a place called Masterful Canyon.

Seeking an answer, I get down and dirty amid cowering cactus.
But all I gained was a sore bottom, for cacti can be nasty.

I was startled to see a meteorite flash across the sky,
and hear a voice cry ‘You wouldn’t see that in Dublin,’
then saw an old Indian with a wooden box, full o...

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My schnozle nose best

My schnozle nose what’s best
My schnozle is not well, due to the hot weather it oozes green liquid,
enough, in a desert of spare scrub, to fill a little well.

Lizards run away from it, suspicious of its effluence,
but the Texas scrub remains hard and prickly.

Then I watch what the Americans call ‘football’,
and cry ‘You call that a game!
I know where to go when I can’t sleep.’

On my ...

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Mañana

After meeting Pedro the pedlar in Malle Mercados, I hired a boat to Peccadillo, where we sat and gazed at the señoritas.

But when I issued romantic invitations, they all said ‘Mañana’, yawned and ordered a round of café con leches
(which are coffees, don’t you speak Spanish?).

Then a woman called Dorothea explained she was a physiotherapist,
and I told her about the pain in my calf.

‘Ah...

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Where’s my Buddy?

‘Find me a chord and lyrics that scan,’ I said to the enveloping mist,
‘and a voice to suit a poetic man, so I can emulate my hero, Buddy Holly.’

‘Chuck in a love-stricken sweetheart, maybe a Western trucker hitting the road, miles of unending plain before him.’

I sat down and reflected that I’d loved to have played the 10-string tenor banjo,
just like that Dubliner Barney McKenna, but the...

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Beach boy

People scoff when I dig out my old reviews to boost a fading ego,
but I proudly boast to my contemporaries there was no one like me,
that old star of stage and screen, who almost became the ‘fifth’ Beatle.

Ah, but that’s another story.

As an actor, it hurt that some regarded me as a one-trick pony.
You see, being a handsome devil, I was often cast
as the romantic lead in our drama school...

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