After my graduation

I walked around and waited for my family to come and find me

And It felt oddly familiar

Standing alone in a crowd 

Where everyone was being 

Embraced and hugged and together

It is an empty feeling

That was the epitome of my high school experience

And I felt like maybe I was not ready for the world just yet

I was scared to begin my life

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Yesterday it rained like the sky

Held all the sorrows of the world

And had finally released them

Onto the black pavement 

How could sorrow be so beautiful?

The raindrops hit the ground and I felt

Like the world exists so that we may view 

The beauty that is rain and sky and clouds

I stepped out into the pouring tears

And could feel the water cling to me

Like...

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Clear skies and sunny days

Tall trees and retro shades

The smell of BBQ in the air

The joys of spring we shall share

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I realize now that love

Should not be painful

Nor should it be given

To those who do not deserve it

I realize now that life

Is short and fast

So I should be happy

With the time and people I have

I realize now that I'm

Only a person

But I am so complex

And beautiful and alive

I realize now that we

Are all struggling to live

But we are all tog...

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I called you last night.

"Hello?" "Hello.."

I wish I could have replied.

I would have said "I love you"

Or maybe even "I hate you"

I miss you so much it hurts.

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I'm not sure

How relationships work

Or what to say

When you tell me I'm pretty

I know nothing

Of the cues,

Hints, and meanings

You put behind your words

I don't know how to tell

If the look you give me

Is of disinterest 

Or shyness

I have no idea

How anything works

Or how anything stays

So, why don't you teach me?

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I yearn for something

I can not yet touch or see

I yearn for something

That does not belong to me

I yearn for it like rain

On a hot summer day

I yearn for it like children

Who wish their father could stay

I yearn to be the future me

Who has everything I want

I so desperately yearn to be

Everything I am not

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Forgetting someone is slow

Like dirt being washed off you 

As you bath in a river and

It all flows downstream

You forget their voice

And the way their mouth moves as they speak

You forget the way they walk

And how fast they could run while you tried to keep up

You forget the music they like

And how beautifully they could sing

You forget the way they smile

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Ask me where I come from

And I'll tell you about white cotton fields

And honeysuckle vines that cling

To rotting wood fences

Ask me where I am

And I'll describe a lonely, sunken house

Resurrected by a lonely, hurting family

With nothing left but eachother

Ask me where I'll go

And I'll say somewhere, anywhere

But here in this empty town

Where memories make...

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Today the world is gray

The clouds hang drearily in the sky

They threaten us with heavy rain

The coming of a storm is nigh

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I love the sky in all its hues

All its yellows, reds, and blues

The break of dawn, the setting sun

The colors of a life begun

I love the flowers and the trees

The way they sway in the breeze

The blooming buds and prickly stems

Will make me happy 'til the end

I love the water, gently drifting

Just the sound of it is uplifting

The oceans and seas, ponds and la...

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And in the end,

We sailed away

On different paths

One Autumn day

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I remember you, 

And recall what life was like.

Is this all I've got?

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In the absence of you

I have found myself

Tucked away in a corner

On the highest shelf

Covered in cobwebs and dust

I sat there all alone

And waiting to be seen,

I wished for a life of my own

When you had gone away

I decided to look up above

And saw myself sitting there

Just a person who deserved to be loved

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Take me to your garden

With flowers of red and violet and yellow

The lilacs and daisy's are waiting for me

Beyond this wall of sorrow

This great big stone wall with overgrown moss

Moss grown from pain and boredom and betrayal

Why is it that moss grows on damp places?

Why does it cloud my vision and crawl on my face?

I've scraped and pulled the moss away

But it ...

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I used to pick little flowers

Out in the backyard

They were scattered here and there

And finding them wasn't too hard

I'd gather a bunch

Then sit in the grass

I'd pluck the petals out

Carefully, as though they were glass

"He loves me, he loves me not"

I'd repeat the saying

And when I got love

I'd smiled and continue playing

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Fallen memories

Lay scattered on the barren floor

Moments of glee and anger

Sadness and disgust

Is all that remains of a life once lived

Many things are forgotten

Like Autumn leaves

Being swept away by the wind

Everblowing into the depths of the past

Disappearing into an untouchable space

Wish not for the fading to end

For staying brings only

Emptiness...

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I saw you last night

In the solitude of my dreams

You cried silently

And apologized for everything

I hesitated

But we all know how good you are

At Persuasion

I wrapped my arms around your waist

The memory of hugging you still ingrained into my mind

But dreams are delusions

For those who wish for things to be as they once were

And nothing is as it was once...

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The last gift you gave me

Was small and beautiful

Like the hands you held

Like the children I thought you loved

It is made of gold

With hearts intertwined

Like our hands during a drive

As you sang old country songs 

It stays with me always

Like the memories of us

Father and children

Love and life

When I take it off

I can see the dent in my fing...

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A little browned-eyed girl

With freckles here and there

Would cry at every little thing

The world too hard to bear

Her scared little eyes

Her uneasy smile

A heart beating too quickly

As if she’d run a mile

She wished she could stop

That her heart would slow down

But no matter how much she tried

She always wore a frown

But now that she's older

S...

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I saw the color yellow that day

In the sky

Through the light of the peephole

On your face

You were my yellow

A light that brought warmth to the cold stillness of life

Perhaps that's why I couldn't see it

I was blinded by everything I saw in you

All of the good things

Memories I cherish so much I can’t bear to write in words

That day I last saw you 

You tr...

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It was last december,

When I thought about killing you.

In the fading glory of the world,

And the dying light of your glow,

I thought about killing you.

I took you through the woods,

We watched the gleaming stars.

I saw the way your amber hair

Glistened in the moonlight.

You were beautiful.

But

I thought about killing you.

When did we meet?

How...

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