End of a Beginning
Thinking about the times
we spent chatting in the pub,
thinking I might have talked
just a bit too much,
and I'm thinking about
how I blew a chance forever.
Thinking about the time
you could have spent in my heart,
but we never got together
or made a real start,
thinking about the you
I never got to know better, and
even though we could
Tuesday 18th April 2023 3:04 pm
Wounds of liberation
Imagine being totally untethered
After feeling chain linked
I feel split
That part removed
That half is trying to renew
But it hurts
To grow scab over wound
Missing you is mourning you
Leaving you is still losing you
And I’m just as lost
As I made you
If it could be
I would make it be
Should I be chain linked again
I would make it good
Monday 27th March 2023 3:24 pm
Love: The Truth
Real love is life threatening
It’s not serene, sweet, dream love
It’s not romantic, rainbow love
True love is torture
Gut wrenching pain
Hands and knees, love
Need it to breathe, love
It’s enough to put you away, love
But never pull you away, love
It’s masochistically addictive
It titillates and irritates
Possesses every bit
Until you have a fit...
Tuesday 23rd November 2021 11:15 am
Blue as the sky above
Your eyes shine so bright like the morning light
I was scared to let you in my heart
I was scared that this was going to be too hard
I was scared to fall
But your blue eyes, that shine so bright
Gave me hope, gave me a reason to believe, and fight
I look at you with awe
Wondering where you have been and what you have done
And I pray to God
Wednesday 9th June 2021 4:58 pm
The Sun’s Litany
My light, forever
Bright, proud, and true.
Would surely know if he was untrue?
His words a balm to desperate ears.
My body only what he holds dear?
Oh heart, emotions be.
Craving sweet shore of security.
Safe arms, to pull me close.
Cherish my heart, essence close.
Play and laugh with carefree joy,
Dance our hearth,
My warmth is strong to warm us b...
Thursday 29th April 2021 4:49 am
Loving you is easy because your you
Loving you ain't hard because all I want is you
Walking through fire was easy I get chills from you
Crossing the ocean was light swim cause I get and extra push from you
Getting the stars and moon for you wasnt a impossible thing cause this love gives me wings
My words they beautiful they take after you
My rhythm is amazing it took all you...
Thursday 22nd October 2020 11:02 pm
Losing you (Secret Bi)
You think that your losing me
But I’m losing part of you
You think that your hurting me
But it’s me who’s hurting you
You think you can save me
But it’s hard for you to do
Because I cause so much agony
And it’s me doing that to you
I fear for the future
I fear that you will leave
It feels you’ve lost the sparkle
And no longer believe
I know you reassure me
And there’s things you n...
Thursday 30th July 2020 9:47 am
Why can't you love me the same
I gave you my life
You gave it back
But you live your life
Behind a mask
Hiding a secret
It’s yours to tell
But you should have told me
Before I fell
You are to blame
You caused me pain
Why can't you love me the same
Building years of friendship
Building years of love
Growing strong together
Embracing all we’ve got
But this charade
Is what you made
I see the truth
As it slowly ...
Wednesday 29th July 2020 10:31 pm
so this is it huh?
it hurt so much
to breathe, to think, to laugh
to smile, to worry
it’s almost like you’ve taken out
all the good parts, the sad parts
leaving me incredibly bare and numb.
i feel restless, raw
open and exposed.
like i have no barriers, no protection
just sitting there with weeping wounds
and a broken heart
brittle as my nails
wrecked and sharply cut...
Friday 10th May 2019 6:15 pm
BACK IN TIME
BACK IN TIME
if you could
read my mind
back in time
when just looking
in my eyes
was enough to
make you smile
across the floor
look at me
what can't be
Thursday 4th April 2019 3:10 pm
Feeling like Butters after the break up (sad yet happy that it happened)
February was just fine,
although I was walking on thin lines,
never had the doubt that you weren't mine.
Then the first Saturday came,
our sanities were the ones that remain,
something so plain,
brought us joy,
one sentence only comes to mind,
nothing will ever ruin this.
Yeah, the week went by,
never believed that time can fly,
but here we are,
Sunday 3rd March 2019 3:25 pm
Today I learnt to cry alone,
Soon I’ll learn to live alone too..
Walking through the grass
Running on the fields
Climbing the mountains
You were always a shield...
Never imagined a life without you,
Neither in dreams we were away,
In laughter in tears I was with you,
I was with you each night each day,
From feeling of hope to thought to love,
Saturday 26th January 2019 2:01 pm
Too much to fix
I still loved you but I walked away.
I know you still love me, but I'm not comming back.
You still try to reach me, I know you do.
Every text you send I read, never ending your silent plead.
I know you're hurting I'm too,
but I know I can't be with you.
You were my everything I hope you know.
now I can't give you roses of red colour.
I was hurting, my heart was bleeding,
I didn't let ...
Friday 28th September 2018 4:11 pm
Twelve years and you still don't get it. I crossed that bridge packed my bags and hit it. No more tears I left my fears lying on the floor. I quit, I’m leaving and I ain’t coming back no more.
Sitting in a silent cave losing me while giving you one last save.
While I was trying to be what you needed, you started a journey and couldn’t complete it.
Walking around in the madness, you did you, and...
Monday 11th June 2018 8:50 pm
How u go do a ni$$& like that
How u go stab a ni$&@ inna back
Thought that you really loved me like that
F@$& yo spine I had ya back
Now I’m looking forward I ain’t going back
Thursday 31st May 2018 3:30 am
You know at first anytime I showed you vulnerability and affection I felt weak ,then I realized that I am a woman and vulnerability and love was my super powers . So then I realized that abandonment and not feeling good enough, and seeking for approval, and love ,became the norm when dealing with you and it felt so familiar bc it was .Daddy issues of my own ,hoping you can save me from them ,looki...
Thursday 5th April 2018 5:36 am
Spit of Life
Do you remember how we used to savour the pins and needles on our tongues?
Do you remember how we used to bite into bitterness?
lick the spit of life
I was turned on by brokenness
maybe it’s cliche
that I craved pain
swallowing broken bottles
it's lined my pockets
it's swollen my stomach
Do you remember when we saw ‘sad’ as just another crayon
to colour ourselves in w...
Sunday 1st April 2018 4:06 pm
Also for J
Baffled, mystified, perplexed and confused,
my darling I have lost my muse,
and at what cost?
Is it worth a tormented soul
just to be kept in your control
I jump when you say
and ask you how high on the way,
every command you convey
I grant wishes in three;
falling down on my knees
to please all your needs
as you stomp on my heart
Drawn and q...
Thursday 8th March 2018 7:26 pm
I want to say all of the beautiful sweet kind things
I want to lay my heart on yours and feel our rhythms unite
I know this terrifies you
I know I terrify you
My sweet love
When I am with you I gaze upon you with such delight
Your movements excite my eyes
I can't imagine a more joyous experience than to kiss your mouth
To feel your breath on my neck
To hold your...
Thursday 8th March 2018 7:22 pm
is not yet an old soul. Such apprenticeship has not yet begun.
Studiously she watches as you cite your second hand wisdom.
Bested by her innocence, such familiar nostalgia withers like the thick layer of dust it hides beneath.
Shaken and bruised like brine against an ice cube, the vermouth of your ideals is poured into an ill fitting glass.
Left feeling dirty you turn to d...
Saturday 23rd December 2017 6:57 am
After A Break Up
After a breakup, pain may linger with you a while,
but one morning you will wake once more with a smile,
Until that time comes write notes to throw away,
notes that hold your pain, to leave you free one day,
There's no clock with the means to predict the date,
don't let heartbreak turn love over to the icy grip of hate,
for positive feelings are those we all seek in our liv...
Thursday 26th January 2017 11:13 am
Call me the doormat,
The infestation of rats,
The ‘oh she ain’t all that’,
Call the kettle black!
Call me the diva, the princess, the moan bag,
The emotional one, oh isn’t it sad?
The hot head who can only nag nag nag,
That period trainwreck – a handful for a lad.
Call me whatever deflects most from what reflects
When you stand by the mirror and boast,
Thursday 29th September 2016 3:40 pm
haven't you heard of me?
I've heard of you though..
I've seen you smile and cry.
But it seems like you haven't noticed me.
I was there long before.
I was there when you needed held.
I hold your hand in the dark.
But its been so long.
Distance tore us apart.
But it's sad how it came back together.
And now I'm in holding reach....
Tuesday 19th May 2015 8:00 pm
Tunnelling in the dirt below my feet
I've been digging here all week
carving this hollow so deep
today, I hit bone
This is heavier work than I imagined
surveyed the ground from beyond the fence
And we both agreed that this was right
but now the toil is breaking me apart
As a new day rises
I'm bawling in the shower
never knew I could feel this pain
with the taps turned up to ten
Tuesday 17th September 2013 10:40 pm
A face of steel is easy
When hidden behind.
Lost in false hope,
Drowning under memories
That my shoulders cannot hold;
They buckle in sharp flaws.
Watch me break at dawn
And vanish into dust.
My soul entrenched
Under a cotton shroud,
Unable to rise.
I will never again stand
Time, the only healer,
Friday 1st February 2013 9:31 am
I saw her heart break yesterday
the watchful face of late
smile that had only known sunshine
and said in words
careful and rounded
the news that he would not be coming home
trembling of the tiny chin
the mouth turned square and agonised
in an eternal instant of distress
I heard the clic...
Friday 22nd October 2010 7:00 am
Pull Apart The Perfect Nest
So then, stick by stick
tonight we tear off strip after strip
the newest feathers first
then the older twigs and vines
with each one
my heart drops
until there's nothing left
and nowhere lower
just empty branches
where our sweet home once was
Inch by inch
we pack and divide the moss
all the soft things we've collected
years of careful, loving selection
pecking them away, each and e...
Monday 26th July 2010 1:08 pm
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